Yan Shang couldn't quite articulate his current state of mind. Mu Wan Yao, fuming with anger, descended from the carriage and returned to her residence.
Yan Shang sighed, turning back helplessly to look at Zhao Lingfei.
Seeing him glance her way, Zhao Lingfei immediately flashed him a well-mannered, toothy grin.
At this tender age of fourteen or fifteen, she was in the bloom of youth. Her smile was both generous and radiant, stunning all the servants in the alley.
Yet Yan Shang sighed softly again, feeling a headache coming on—
Zhao Lingfei had been confined to her home by her father for two months. After much fighting and tantrums with her father, she had finally learned to pretend to be obedient.
Thus, Duke Zhao released his daughter.
After all, his lively and outgoing daughter had grown utterly listless after being cooped up at home all day.
Zhao Lingfei played the obedient daughter in front of her father, but as soon as she was free, she joyfully went to find Yan Erlang again. She thought to herself that her father would eventually give in—if she persisted for another couple of years, he might just consent.
After all, Yan Erlang had told her he had no plans to marry within the next two years, so she could wait.
The important thing was to make Yan Erlang like her and grow accustomed to her presence.
For someone as gentle and refined as he was, she believed it would be difficult for him to actively develop feelings for any young woman. Seizing this opportunity, Zhao Lingfei accompanied him day after day.
Accompanied by a beautiful woman, familiarity would breed affection—she refused to believe he wouldn't be moved.
Zhao Lingfei first went to Yongshou Temple to look for him, only to panic upon discovering that Yan Shang had already moved away. Fortunately, she lingered a while longer at the temple and happened to meet the children from the Convalescence Center there.
Learning that Yan Shang still frequently returned to visit them, bringing food, drink, and teaching them to read, Zhao Lingfei easily obtained his current address.
Seeing how the children looked forward to Yan Shang's visits and adored him, Zhao Lingfei felt even happier for him and proud of her own judgment:
The man she loved was such a kind person!
Naturally, Zhao Lingfei went to find Yan Shang.
The district where Danyang Princess resided could easily block ordinary commoners, but Zhao Lingfei only needed a little extra time to enter without difficulty. Feeling that she hadn't seen Yan Shang in a long time, she specially came to congratulate him on his move and brought many gifts.
Yan Shang could only express his gratitude and invite her in for tea.
Following behind Yan Shang, Zhao Lingfei watched his upright figure and unique aura, excitedly clenching her fists to encourage herself to keep striving to enter Yan Erlang's heart—
Yan Shang invited Zhao Lingfei to drink tea in the main hall.
Inevitably, he brought up the old topic again.
Yan Shang: "Why must you persist like this, my lady? Your daily visits truly trouble me."
Zhao Lingfei said: "My lord, just pretend I'm not here. I'll only follow you from a distance and won't approach to speak to you unless you speak to me first. How about that?"
Yan Shang frowned slightly.
He said: "I truly don't deserve your deep affection. If you continue like this while I cannot reciprocate, wouldn't that only make me feel guilty? There are many unmarried young men in Chang'an, and plenty who are your social equals. Why must you insist on pursuing me?"
Zhao Lingfei sighed: "When you feel your heart stir at the first sight of someone, such fate isn't something you encounter casually."
Yan Shang was taken aback.
But he said: "But I truly don't appreciate you behaving this way."Zhao Lingfei grew somewhat flustered seeing his expression turn slightly stern. She whispered, "Then... then... what if I come to see you once every three days? You don't have to speak with me. I'll just take a look at you, and my heart will be filled with joy."
Yan Shang said softly, "...Why go to such lengths?"
Zhao Lingfei replied, "Just give me a chance. Either you'll keep rejecting me until I lose confidence and stop pursuing you, or you'll eventually be moved by my persistence and see my virtues. Since you're not betrothed, why not give me even a sliver of hope?"
Yan Shang said, "...I fear my views on marriage differ from yours, my lady."
Zhao Lingfei's eyes lit up, thinking he was willing to discuss marriage with her. She immediately perked up her ears, eager to hear what someone like him thought about matrimony so she could adjust accordingly.
Yan Shang said, "To me, marriage is merely a duty to continue the family line. I truly have no interest in romantic love."
Zhao Lingfei was stunned.
She said, "You mean it doesn't matter whom you marry? That you don't care about your future wife's temperament at all?"
Yan Shang nodded.
He thought such cold detachment would surely make this young lady retreat in the face of difficulty.
To his surprise, Zhao Lingfei blushed and declared with bold enthusiasm, "I... I... can bear children for you too."
She proved more formidable than Yan Shang had imagined: "My lord, how many children would you like in how many years? Do you prefer sons or daughters? I can do either. I'm very healthy! I've practiced martial arts since childhood—you can't tell now, but you'll understand later..."
She blinked suggestively at him.
The tea in Yan Shang's mouth choked him—he couldn't swallow it, yet it would be impolite to spit it out. Covering his mouth with his sleeve, he coughed and hastily set the teacup farther away.
He looked helplessly at Zhao Lingfei, who gazed back at him joyfully.
Yan Shang held his forehead, beginning to feel a headache—
Zhao Lingfei had grown accustomed to seizing every opportunity to visit him.
To avoid her, Yan Shang now spent most of his time hiding at the Institute for the Advancement of Literature. Since the Institute was located within the imperial city, Zhao Lingfei—lacking a fish-shaped tally or waist token—found it difficult to enter.
Naturally, Zhao Lingfei begged her cousin to take her in, as Yang Si went to the Eastern Palace nearly every day and would pass through the imperial city. However, Yang Si had been instructed by Duke Zhao and unhesitatingly refused his cousin's request.
Yet Zhao Lingfei pestered her cousin relentlessly, pleading for his help. Most importantly, she wanted Yang Si to use his connections at the Eastern Palace to obtain a waist token for her, allowing her free entry into the imperial city.
Yang Si grew annoyed.
Yang Si said, "What's the use of begging me? Should I tie Yan Erlang to your bed so you can cook the raw rice?"
Zhao Lingfei stiffened her neck. "...That wouldn't be unacceptable either!"
Yang Si: "..."
He stared at her in shock for a long moment. "You like Yan Er that much?"
Zhao Lingfei nodded.
Yang Si thought of Yan Shang, whom he had met, and couldn't comprehend it. "What exactly do you like about him?"
Zhao Lingfei began listing his virtues like counting treasures: "He's handsome and cultivates refinement. Whenever I see him, no matter what he wears, his demeanor is clean and bright. He speaks unhurriedly, listens to what I say, and knows when to stay silent and listen—unlike you foul men who just blather on for your own amusement.""He has such a kind heart. Whenever he sees someone in trouble, whether he knows them or not, he'll help if he can. He never expects anything in return—it doesn't matter to him whether people remember his kindness or not.
"He has countless friends. Everyone who knows him speaks highly of him. Take you, cousin—last time you looked down on him, but this time you're not saying anything against him, are you?
"And what's more..."
Yang Si cast a cold glance and covered Zhao Lingfei's mouth.
He could see it clearly—Yan Erlang had too many virtues, so it was natural for Zhao Lingfei to like him.
Yang Si frowned slightly.
But he felt that the relationship between Yan Shang and Mu Wan Yao was also rather peculiar...
Resting his chin on his hand, Yang Si fell into deep thought.
He rarely saw Mu Wan Yao getting close to any young man. When she was younger, she was obedient and quiet, never taking the initiative to approach any man. Now that she had grown up, she interacted with men with clear purposes, yet she never truly regarded them highly.
However, Yang Si had already seen Mu Wan Yao and Yan Shang together twice.
Once at Yongshou Temple; another time when Mu Wan Yao and Yan Shang shared a carriage to the Eastern Palace.
Moreover, the Emperor had once arranged a marriage between them, but Mu Wan Yao had refused.
Under normal circumstances, even to avoid suspicion, Mu Wan Yao shouldn't have gotten close to Yan Shang again.
Yet that day they shared a carriage... and Yan Shang even became Mu Wan Yao's retainer.
Was their relationship really just that simple?
"Cousin, can you help me or not?" Zhao Lingfei tugged at his arm, shaking him twice and pulling him back to reality.
Yang Si looked down at Zhao Lingfei for a moment, then slowly said, "I can't give you the fish-shaped tally to let you enter and leave the imperial city freely. If something happened, the Crown Prince would have to cover for you. But I can help you delay your father. When you go to see Yan Erlang, tell your father you're here to play with me. That way, at least your father won't always stop you."
Although she didn't get what she wanted most, seeing Yang Si so firm, Zhao Lingfei could only nod.
Her cousin was stubborn and strong-willed; it was hard to persuade him once his mind was made up.
Zhao Lingfei lowered her head and muttered, "Every time I see Danyang Princess, I feel like her eyes are daggers staring at me—it's terrifying. Aren't you on good terms with Danyang Princess? Can you put in a good word for me? I'm just going to see Yan Erlang; why does she always look so stern when she sees me?"
Yang Si was taken aback.
Then he chuckled.
A touch of warmth flickered in his eyes.
He said, "Yao Yao...
"You don't need to pay her any mind. That's just how her temper is now—she never looks happy to see anyone."
Thinking of someone, he even smiled softly, his voice gentle: "...But she hasn't reached the point of being unreasonable. If you don't provoke her, she won't have an excuse to trouble you."
Zhao Lingfei nodded, only half-understanding. After staring at Yang Si for a long while, she suddenly said, "Cousin, is it really because you're waiting for Danyang Princess that you've never married?"
Yang Si: "Huh?"
He was stunned for a moment, then mumbled vaguely, "You could say that's part of it."
Zhao Lingfei sighed sympathetically and said, "Then you should try to talk to Danyang Princess more. If you just leave things as they are, how can a beauty fall into your arms?"
Yang Si scoffed and reached out to ruffle Zhao Lingfei's hair. He said calmly, "Don't worry about my matters. I know what I'm doing."
In his heart, he apologized to his parents.As long as Mu Wan Yao remained unmarried, he would not marry either—for he was her shield.
He had the Crown Prince behind him, and the Yang family. The scope for his willfulness was too narrow... He was no master strategist, merely a man of martial prowess.
Yet even these skills could not withstand the harsh winds and bitter frosts, nor could they protect Mu Wan Yao.
Remaining unmarried, taking no wife—so that whenever Mu Wan Yao faced pressure to wed, he could be pulled out as her excuse—this was the only way he could help her.
Better to let the world think it was he who disliked her, dragging his feet unwilling to marry her.
Than to let others believe he had long agreed, leaving all the pressure to fall on Yao Yao alone.
Yang Si lowered his gaze, falling silent in contemplation.
Zhao Lingfei said urgently, "You may not be anxious, but your parents are terribly worried. They come to my home every day to complain. They’re even somewhat displeased with the Crown Prince, believing he’s forcing you to marry Danyang Princess and delaying your marriage. Other young men your age should have already begun discussing betrothals."
Yang Si replied indifferently, "What does this have to do with the Crown Prince? What does it have to do with Yao Yao?"
He narrowed his eyes, rose, and stood by the window, gazing through layers of clouds toward the distant horizon.
Arms crossed, he said calmly, "Whether the Crown Prince summons me back to Chang’an or not, I will not marry now. If I weren’t in Chang’an, I should be in the northern deserts, in Longxi, at the frontier... I should sleep beneath the starry skies, rest against towering mountains by day. I should live and die with the soldiers, fighting valiantly on the battlefield..."
His gaze drifted into the distance, as if looking beyond Chang’an—toward the battlefields where heroes fell, the thunder of thousands of horses and men... the very things that set his blood boiling and filled him with drive.
Zhao Lingfei stared at his tall, imposing figure, lost in thought. He stood straight as a sword, yet that sword was bound by chains, afraid to be drawn.
She felt her cousin was like a mighty eagle—such an eagle ought to soar high in the sky, far beyond Chang’an. Yet in reality, Yang Si was confined to Chang’an, trapped here.
He could not fulfill his ambitions, nor could he simply abandon Chang’an...
One day... if only one day...
Yang Si turned to look at Zhao Lingfei, his eyes bright, bold and fearless.
In that moment, meeting his steady gaze, Zhao Lingfei felt she somewhat understood him, and pitied him for being trapped here.
She did not want to show a maidenly sympathy—for what right did she have to pity her cousin?
Even if he were shackled now, confined to Chang’an... one day, her cousin would break free and stride onto the stage he truly wished to stand upon.
Zhao Lingfei’s eyes shimmered. She smiled and said, "I’ve never left Chang’an, never been to Longxi or the northern deserts, never seen the true frontier, the real battlefields and soldiers. I hope one day I’ll have the chance to follow you and see it all. I want to witness what you’ve seen too!"
Yang Si scoffed, "You? You’d better focus on getting married first. Once you’re wed, you’ll have even less chance to follow me and see the world."
Zhao Lingfei glared at him. "Then you should strive to leave Chang’an before I marry! The Crown Prince dotes on you so—once the situation in Chang’an stabilizes a little, he’ll let you go. Or you could plead with him a few more times; he can’t bear to keep you trapped forever... In any case, can’t you let me see your brilliance before I marry?"Yang Si was momentarily taken aback and said, "What do you know?"
Then he walked back, slung an arm around Zhao Lingfei's shoulder with a roguish grin, and said casually, "Alright then. I'll do my best to take you out of Chang'an before you get married. It would be too embarrassing if you married without having seen anything of the world."
Zhao Lingfei immediately kicked at him, but he dodged effortlessly.
Zhao Lingfei suddenly grew eager, chasing after Yang Si to spar with him—though her martial skills were naturally inferior to her cousin's, she had loved practicing martial arts since childhood. Even though her cousin always overpowered her, she still wanted to test whether she had improved a little—
After discussing with Yang Si, Zhao Lingfei continued to go to the alley where Yan Shang lived, waiting for him every day.
Zhao Lingfei rarely managed to encounter Yan Shang, as he left early and returned late to avoid her. After all, once the city wards closed at night, Zhao Lingfei couldn't linger outside for too long if she wanted to return home.
So be it.
What was pitiable was that while Zhao Lingfei seldom encountered Yan Shang, she often ran into Mu Wan Yao leaving or returning to her residence.
Mu Wan Yao mostly rode on horseback, followed by numerous male and female riders. This princess always appeared charming and alluring, adorned with gold and silver, drawing much attention.
However, whenever Mu Wan Yao saw Zhao Lingfei, her face would instantly darken, her gaze sharp as a knife piercing through her.
Zhao Lingfei was baffled, unsure how she had offended Mu Wan Yao. Nevertheless, she remembered her cousin's advice and refrained from provoking Mu Wan Yao. Every time they met, she obediently greeted her with a smile.
Thus, she watched as Mu Wan Yao's expression grew increasingly unpleasant day by day, yet the princess found no reason to vent her anger on Zhao Lingfei.
Zhao Lingfei felt relieved, thinking that her cousin truly understood this princess.
Mu Wan Yao grew furious every time she saw Zhao Lingfei but had no justification for her anger. Her frustration made her so agitated that she developed internal heat, with blisters forming in her mouth.
And this only made her angrier.
In this state of rage, when Mu Wan Yao saw Yan Shang at a banquet in her residence, she was momentarily stunned, her eyes widening in disbelief.
How dare he show his face before her!
This banquet was held for court officials such as the Vice Minister of Revenue. A couple of days earlier, Mu Wan Yao had intended for Yan Shang to build connections with her subordinates, so they could recognize each other as allies and offer mutual convenience.
But when she invited Yan Shang, Zhao Lingfei hadn't appeared yet!
Now that Zhao Lingfei had shown up... how could Yan Shang have the audacity to attend her banquet?
When Yan Shang saw Mu Wan Yao appear, her tulip-yellow long skirt sweeping the floor and a silk shawl draped over her shoulders, she looked exquisitely elegant and captivating. As he conversed with the court officials, they all turned to look at her, their gazes inevitably wavering.
She was truly suited to this kind of opulent and magnificent beauty.
However, while Mu Wan Yao spoke lazily and casually with others, skillfully navigating social interactions, when she turned to him, her eyes blazed with fury, as if she wished to devour him.
Yan Shang couldn't help but smile faintly.
Seeing that he actually had the nerve to smile, Mu Wan Yao felt even more stifled with anger, and the blisters in her mouth seemed to ache more intensely.
Throughout the hour-long banquet, Mu Wan Yao watched Yan Shang with great displeasure. She had originally planned to introduce these people to him, but now she made no introductions at all, leaving it entirely to Yan Shang to make his own connections.
But seeing that Yan Shang could indeed converse with officials far above his rank entirely on his own... Mu Wan Yao's mouth ached even more.
She wondered why these people were so amiable—why hadn't a single one given Yan Shang a hard time?
Perhaps there were difficulties, but with Yan Shang's capabilities, Mu Wan Yao was unlikely to witness any embarrassment on his part.The banquet concluded, and Mu Wan Yao eagerly urged the guests to leave. The ministers assumed the princess was unwell today and did not linger.
Mu Wan Yao turned to return to her rear courtyard, hearing footsteps following behind her.
Yan Shang sighed, "Your Highness... what exactly are you angry about?"
Mu Wan Yao walked through the long corridor, where falling petals adorned the empty passage, with willows casting shifting shadows. Layers of slanted light filtered through, creating a dappled pattern, brushed by the dazzling golden-yellow skirt trailing behind her.
Mu Wan Yao abruptly turned to face Yan Shang.
She said, "Did any young lady come crying and begging to marry you today?"
Yan Shang was momentarily confused.
Then he understood instantly.
His gaze lifted gently toward her, and he whispered, "...Your Highness is angry about Zhao Wuniang?"
Mu Wan Yao: "You even know she’s the fifth in her family! When are you two getting married? Should my Princess Residence send you a grand gift?"
With that, she turned and walked away.
Now that Yan Shang understood what she was angry about, he naturally followed to explain.
Walking behind her, he spoke softly, "What’s so difficult about knowing she’s the fifth? Don’t people introduce themselves when they meet? Besides, I have no intention of getting married. Didn’t I say I wouldn’t marry for the next year or two?"
Mu Wan Yao walked swiftly, her words just as rapid: "Back then, you said it was because I delayed your marriage, that you had no choice but to remain unmarried. But now it’s different. Zhao Wuniang would gladly live in your residence, throwing herself at you every day, right? So why wait? Why not marry her quickly? She’s already pursuing you so actively—why aren’t you taking any initiative?
"Could it be that you’re the type who only lets others take the lead?"
Yan Shang felt a headache coming on from her torrent of words, as she jumped from one topic to another. On one hand, she urged him to marry quickly, and before he could process that, she was questioning his lack of initiative...
Yan Shang was utterly perplexed.
Seeing her so enraged, he reached out from behind and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stop and talk to him properly.
Mu Wan Yao spun around at his pull, her sleeve-covered wrist held firmly by him as she glared at him.
Yan Shang, seeing her like this, blurted out, "You... why are you so angry?"
Mu Wan Yao froze.
Then she immediately remembered she had no right to be angry.
Furious, she tried to shake off his hand, no longer wanting to hear his explanation. Fortunately, Yan Shang quickly realized his mistake—he shouldn’t have asked her that question, leaving her with nothing to say.
He tightened his grip on her wrist, preventing her from leaving.
He patiently explained, "I have no intention of marrying anyone, whether it’s Zhao Wuniang or anyone else. If I had such thoughts, why would I have moved?"
Mu Wan Yao stared blankly, then her eyes widened even more.
She was no fool; usually, a hint from him was enough for her to understand. She couldn’t help raising her voice: "What? Are you saying you moved out of Yongshou Temple to avoid Zhao Wuniang? You never actually wanted to be my neighbor or help me—you were just hiding from her? From start to finish, it was all for her?"
Yan Shang was also stunned.
He said, "That’s technically true... but the way Your Highness puts it probably isn’t what I meant."
Mu Wan Yao: "In short, it was for her."
She shook off his hand forcefully and walked away even faster this time, leaving Yan Shang exhausted and bewildered as he chased after her.He quickened his pace after her, hastening his words: "How could it be for her sake? I was merely avoiding someone. These past two days, I've been leaving early and returning late precisely to..."
Mu Wan Yao: "It's for her again!"
Yan Shang: "..."
He sighed helplessly: "Then what should I do?"
As they spoke, Mu Wan Yao had already entered her chamber, with Yan Shang following right to the doorway.
The maidservants exchanged uneasy glances, witnessing the princess's anger, and quickly retreated to a distance, fearing they might become collateral targets of her fury.
They watched as the ever-patient Yan Erlang leaned against the doorframe, speaking in soft, gentle tones to the young lady inside.
Mu Wan Yao's voice was merciless: "You don't know what to do, do you? You seem quite pleased with yourself. Do you even understand why she likes you? Let me give you an idea—go ruin your face, then she won't chase after you anymore!"
Yan Shang sighed softly: "Your Highness..."
Standing before the dressing table, Mu Wan Yao was extremely displeased. She grabbed the hairpins and hair ornaments neatly arranged in the case beneath the bronze mirror and hurled them at Yan Shang behind her.
Yan Shang stepped back in surprise. Most of the hairpins clattered to the floor two or three steps away from him, but one flew with such force that it shot straight toward his face. Yan Shang swiftly turned to avoid it, but the sharp tip of the hairpin grazed his cheek.
Mu Wan Yao's eyes widened, stunned by what she had done.
When Yan Shang turned back, she immediately saw a bloody scratch on his face.
Mu Wan Yao grew flustered and anxious, forgetting her anger as she rushed over to check on him: "Your... your face... Oh no!"
She suddenly covered her mouth.
Yan Shang grabbed her arm.
A trail of blood beaded on the cut on his face. Before he could even feel it, Mu Wan Yao had rushed over. Then, hearing her cry out and cover her face, Yan Shang thought she had accidentally cut herself with the hairpin and quickly seized her arm to inspect the injury.
Mu Wan Yao held her cheek, whimpering: "It's nothing... just a sore in my mouth from getting too worked up these past couple of days. You made me so angry I bit my lip, and now it hurts terribly."
Yan Shang looked down at her.
He asked: "Have you applied any medicine?"
Mu Wan Yao glared: "How could I? Let people see my mouth?"
Yan Shang fell silent.
He couldn't help but smile wryly: "Well, now it seems both Your Highness and I are wounded."
Mu Wan Yao covered her cheek, her eyes darting repeatedly to his face. Each glance deepened her guilt. Yan Shang couldn't see it himself, but she could clearly see the blood seeping from the scratch...
Yan Shang touched his own face and stared silently at the blood on his hand. Mu Wan Yao grabbed his arm instead, as if afraid he would be angry, and said guiltily: "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Yan Shang paused, then looked up with a smile: "I know. Shall we call it even?"
Mu Wan Yao: "Call what even?"
Yan Shang: "Your Highness got so upset with me that you developed a sore in your mouth, and I got my face scratched by Your Highness's hairpin. Since we're even now, won't Your Highness stop being angry with me?"
Mu Wan Yao stared blankly for a long moment, thinking she shouldn't forgive him so easily. But with Yan Shang's bleeding face and his gentle gaze fixed on her... she couldn't bring herself to continue acting haughty.
After a while, Mu Wan Yao said: "Sit down. I'll help you apply medicine."
She added after a pause: "And you help me with mine too."
Yan Shang was taken aback, his face instantly flushing as he stammered: "That... that might not be... appropriate..."
The place where she needed medicine wasn't quite the same as his face.
Mu Wan Yao shot him a sidelong glance: "If you refuse, then it means you still like Zhao Wuniang and want to marry her. You weren't sincerely asking for my forgiveness at all. You're a gentleman who wouldn't take advantage. I trust you—don't you trust yourself?"
Yan Shang had no retort. He looked at her somewhat helplessly and smiled: She was using "gentleman" to corner him whenever it suited her now.
Seeing him smile at her, Mu Wan Yao grinned slyly. Observing that he still couldn't handle her, she felt triumphant once more.
Yet as she frowned and pulled him into the room to sit down, she pondered fretfully: How on earth could she get rid of that Zhao Wuniang?Though it made no sense... she simply couldn't stand having other women surrounding Yan Shang.
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