Her heart pounded like a drum, her ears buzzed with a dull hum.
Neither of them had ever been this intimate with anyone before, and for a moment, both were rendered speechless.
Mu Wan Yao pressed a hand over her wildly beating heart, secretly peeking at Yan Shang with one eye. She saw his face was flushed red, his pursed lips slightly stiff. Unconsciously, her gaze lingered on his lips, recalling the sensation from moments ago.
He shifted uncomfortably, bracing his elbow on the table as if startled into standing, yet he deliberately restrained the impulse. At the same time, his slender fingers curled slightly, involuntarily tightening around the memorial he held.
The tips of his ears, hidden beneath his hair, grew even redder.
Mu Wan Yao’s eyes widened: Was he actually shy? So this was how bashful he could be!
Her mind whirled—she felt a twinge of sympathy for Yan Shang, yet also prided herself on her palace upbringing, believing her broader experience meant she ought to teach him.
But… teach him what?
Perhaps her gaze was too blatant, for Yan Shang lowered his head toward her, chiding slightly, "Your Highness!"
Mu Wan Yao grabbed his sleeve, her uplifted eyes catching the light with a golden shimmer, radiant and alluring. Yan Shang found himself momentarily lost in her gaze, while Mu Wan Yao, both shy and curious, mustered a boldness reserved for private moments.
She whispered, "Second Brother, lean closer. I have something to say."
Suppressing his discomfort, Yan Shang bent his ear toward her.
She tilted her face up, cupping her hand beside his cheek, her red lips brushing his ear as her soft, feather-like breath gently wafted against it.
Yan Shang’s grip on the memorial tightened further, veins bulging on the back of his hand, his throat unconsciously bobbing.
Oblivious, Mu Wan Yao mysteriously whispered into his ear, earnestly instructing him, "Second Brother Yan, this is called kissing!"
Yan Shang: "…"
He leaned back slightly, giving her a strange, indescribable look.
Mu Wan Yao preened a little. "I’ve seen it in the palace."
Yan Shang drawled, "Who have you seen? As a princess, are you allowed to watch such things?"
Mu Wan Yao was about to explain that she had secretly peeked at illustrated storybooks, but then she recalled how, after her last such venture, the palace had banned those books the very next day, and her maids had all been replaced by her mother.
Even though she was married now and ought to be the mistress of her own household, the shadows of her youth still made her heart tremble with apprehension.
So, with a sly evasion, she replied, "Anyway, I’ve seen it! Anyway, I know this is kissing. Do you know, Second Brother Yan? You don’t, do you? Beg me, and I’ll tell you what it’s all about!"
Yan Shang raised a brow slightly.
Amusement stirred in his heart.
It wasn’t that he necessarily didn’t know. During routine banquets in the Pleasure Quarter, he had accidentally witnessed plenty. He was just embarrassed, just felt it was unseemly. As someone who always minded his conduct, how could Yan Erlang allow himself such impropriety?
But he suddenly realized that the clever, delicate little princess he thought he knew—his little wife—wasn’t always so well-behaved.
Blushing even as he suppressed a laugh, he asked, "What do you say kissing means?"
Mu Wan Yao declared, "After kissing, you’ll have a baby!"
Yan Shang: "…"
Mu Wan Yao: "What?"
Yan Shang felt awkward.
He coughed, then couldn’t resist his instinct to correct her: "After we… shared our wedding chamber, does Your Highness still believe kissing alone produces babies?"
Mu Wan Yao froze, her face instantly burning crimson.She was merely a bit naive, not truly foolish. Though she often seemed muddle-headed, it wasn't as if she couldn't comprehend things once Yan Shang presented the issues to her.
Utterly embarrassed, she immediately buried her head like a quail, pretending she hadn't just made a fool of herself. She stammered, "You... you forget what I just said!"
Yan Shang smiled.
He readily complied: "Alright."
He glanced at the water clock and said gently, "Well, Your Highness has played long enough now. Shouldn't you go to sleep this time?"
Mu Wan Yao hesitated.
She suddenly lifted her face and whispered, "Second Brother Yan."
Yan Shang: "Hmm?"
Mu Wan Yao: "Do you want to... kiss again?"
Yan Shang froze in astonishment.
He looked down at her, gazing at her pink-white little face. Her eyes were clear and bright, like a pristine lake. She was entirely curious yet shy, but curiosity overpowered her shyness. Her eyes fixed on the corner of his mouth, her rosy lips slightly parted, a crimson glow shimmering beneath his gaze.
Yan Shang's heart suddenly burned.
Thinking she was his wife... what was there to stop them?
Besides, besides... he too... was curious.
Yan Shang lowered his head, under Mu Wan Yao's wide-eyed stare, his lips gently touched hers. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and she held her breath in fright, her face growing redder. Mu Wan Yao then saw Yan Shang close his eyes, the lashes resting on his eyelids trembling continuously.
He wasn't much better than her—
Young men and women were simply driven by curiosity.
With a half-understood comprehension, they naively believed that touching lips was kissing.
So both held their breath, both so tense their hearts nearly leaped from their throats, and both delighted because of it.
Nibbling, pressing, rubbing—they thought this was kissing.
After just a short while of such exploration, not to mention Mu Wan Yao's extreme blushing, Yan Shang already had sweat beading at his temples. Instinctively, he wanted something, but being accustomed to restraint, he wasn't entirely clear himself. Yet the burgeoning desire made his hands clasping her shoulders burn and tighten.
Kiss after kiss. Though not true kisses, they were beginning to trace the outlines.
No one knew who started it, who grabbed whose sleeve. In the lowering and lifting of heads, the closing and opening of eyes, their breaths had already mingled into a fragrant warmth.
By the time Mu Wan Yao realized it, she was no longer sitting by his shoulder waiting for him. Unbeknownst to her, Yan Shang had lifted her, seating her on his lap. One of his arms held her shoulder, the other cupped her cheek. As her cheeks burned, her hands tightly clasped his neck, and she whimpered softly.
Yan Shang pulled back with difficulty.
Mu Wan Yao stared at him in wide-eyed surprise.
Yan Shang turned his face away somewhat awkwardly.
Mu Wan Yao pressed close to his ear and whispered bashfully, "You... you... your body seems to have changed... a bit like, like on our wedding night, you know?"
Yan Shang pressed his lips together.
He said awkwardly, "I know. Could you not mention it?"
For a moment, he even forgot to address her as "Your Highness" or himself as "your subject."
Mu Wan Yao obediently murmured "Oh" and nestled against his neck, letting him hold her. She gazed dreamily at the Adam's apple moving in his throat, feeling a slight urge to reach out and touch it but sensing it might not be appropriate. So she stared blankly, wrestling with her inner impulses.
At the same time, she also noticed sweat forming on Yan Shang's neck. Fine, thin beads of sweat, his Adam's apple bobbing.
He was as stiff as a stone.Mu Wan Yao almost couldn't resist reaching out to touch when Yan Shang pressed down on her fingers just as she raised her hand. Startled, she thought he had discovered her curiosity and was stopping her from touching.
Feeling guilty, Mu Wan Yao looked toward Yan Shang, who lowered his gaze to meet her eyes.
After holding back for a moment, he couldn't help but whisper in her ear, "Could we... could we try it once?"
Mu Wan Yao was confused: "Sure. Your face is so red. But try what? I don't understand. Second Brother Yan, could you speak more clearly?"
Yan Shang's face grew even redder.
He struggled for a long time, his voice dropping even lower. If Mu Wan Yao hadn't been leaning against him, she wouldn't have heard what he was saying: "...It's, it's like that night, the, the wedding chamber. I, I want... to have it."
Mu Wan Yao was momentarily stunned.
She disliked the pain and was somewhat unwilling. But the palace matron had said that after the first time, it wouldn't hurt anymore. Besides, besides... last time, she had been too nervous and shy, keeping her eyes closed the entire time, and hadn't properly seen what Second Brother Yan looked like without his clothes.
And when you like someone, it's instinctive to truly want to see them.
To see them in every way, especially in bed.
Mu Wan Yao nodded cheerfully, her eyes curving into smiles: "Okay!"—
However, saying it was easy, but doing it was difficult.
Mu Wan Yao was very attracted to Yan Shang, but when he pressed her into the bedding and began, all her tenderness and affection were nearly driven away by the pain. Her face turned pale, and seeing how restrained he was, she tried hard to cooperate. But she didn't know whose fault it was—she just felt pain, so much pain... It wasn't as bad as last time, but it was still uncomfortable!
His hand rested beside the pillow, his brows furrowed, and he clenched his fist slightly. Mu Wan Yao closed her eyes and let out a low sob.
Tears clung to her eyelashes as she trembled and gasped.
Hearing her sobs, Yan Shang snapped out of his intense pleasure and stared at her blankly. The warm bedchamber was fragrant, but the young woman in his arms was weeping and sniffling, while he himself was also... Yan Shang felt instantly defeated and utterly embarrassed.
Amidst the silken covers, he withdrew, wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and sat her up. He patted her shoulder soothingly and said hoarsely, "Alright, alright, we'll stop. Don't cry."
Mu Wan Yao choked out, "I don't want to cry either..."
It wasn't actually that painful, but it still hurt... And as Yan Shang comforted her, she seemed to become genuinely fragile, turning five parts pain into ten. The more he comforted her, the more tears she shed. She wondered vaguely why it had to be like this—it wasn't enjoyable at all.
Leaning against the pillows, her long hair was disheveled and spread out, her face flushed with a pink hue yet pale. She forced herself to say, "Don't mind me, just continue..."
Yan Shang smiled bitterly. He wiped the tears under her eyes, feeling that even her tears were endearing, but he didn't dare to make her cry.
Yan Shang said, "How could I not mind you? I really won't continue. Don't frown anymore."
He held her and spoke many sweet, gentle words. The discomfort in his body was forcefully suppressed by him—at first, he broke out in a cold sweat, but eventually, it truly subsided. Just as Yan Shang was sighing inwardly, Mu Wan Yao finally stopped crying.
She clutched his hand and said intermittently, "Can we not do this again in the future? It's really uncomfortable and not fun at all. I think we're just fine as we usually are, Second Brother Yan?"
Yan Shang fell silent.He had initially suspected that he had done something wrong, because others didn’t seem to react this way—others appeared to enjoy it... But as he gazed into Mu Wan Yao’s eyes, Yan Shang drifted into thought, realizing that she clearly had no intention of giving him a chance to experiment. She had directly rejected him, cutting off any possibility.
After a moment, Yan Shang resigned himself to it and sighed with a faint smile. "Your Highness is right. I won’t do this again in the future."
Mu Wan Yao felt relieved and willingly wrapped her arms around his neck again, pleading with him to stop reading memorials and to sleep together instead. Yan Shang flushed at her soft, coquettish words, feeling a resurgence of that restless impulse, yet he feared his own reactions.
The lamplight in the tent was dim. Yan Shang murmured softly, "Allow me to go wash up."
Mu Wan Yao sniffed at his neck, causing him to stiffen and inhale sharply, a tingling sensation shooting up his spine.
Under the autumn moonlight filtering through the gauzy curtains, a rich fragrance mingled with the delicate scent of a young woman lingered in the air.
Yan Shang knelt, turning his shoulder slightly, but Mu Wan Yao clung to the silver hook on his brocade belt, refusing to let go. Usually so obedient, she revealed a stubborn side in private, leaving him helpless.
She looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. "You’re not dirty. Didn’t you just bathe this evening? There’s no need to wash again."
After a long pause, Yan Shang said, "Your Highness, could you refrain from sniffing me in the future?"
Mu Wan Yao looked puzzled. "Why? Don’t you like it?"
Yan Shang frowned, unable to articulate whether he liked it or not. Understanding his hesitation, Mu Wan Yao said considerately, "I see! If Second Brother Yan doesn’t like something I do, just tell me. I’ll definitely change it in the future!"
Yan Shang fell silent.
He thought to himself, I prefer sleeping alone and don’t enjoy sharing a bed with her. Could she manage that?
But such words would only hurt her, so Yan Shang repeatedly recited calming mantras to himself, striving not to let his thoughts turn vulgar—
As Yan Shang gradually adapted to his new wife, Mu Wan Yao was also living quite happily.
Mu Wan Yao felt she was doing an excellent job as a supportive spouse. Since Yan Shang was busy preparing for the imperial examination early the following year, she would go to his study as soon as he returned home, teaching him the quickest and best ways to compose poetry. Every time he glanced at her, she could see admiration in his eyes, which made her even more delighted.
Mu Wan Yao also watched as Yan Shang helped her second brother review memorials daily, organizing and annotating them. When she stayed with him in the study for too long, Yan Shang’s heart would soften, and he would accompany her to bed early.
Occasionally, when in the mood, Mu Wan Yao would casually flip through his memorials.
Yan Shang asked, "Your Highness, can you understand them?"
Mu Wan Yao replied, "No, I can’t."
She tossed the memorial aside, leaning on his shoulder to mutter, "I’m not interested in reading these. How could these memorials compare to my music scores? It’s fine for Second Brother Yan to handle them—I have no interest in your government affairs at all."
Yan Shang simply smiled without another word.
Mu Wan Yao believed that her marital life with Yan Shang was exceptionally harmonious, the envy of many, and she took great pride in this.
One day, she received an invitation from her fourth sister to join a snow-viewing gathering. The attendees were all married women, and Mu Wan Yao, now considering herself a young matron, eagerly attended, looking forward to socializing with other married ladies. She felt that once married, women should no longer mingle with unmarried maidens.
After all, how could unmarried young ladies possibly understand the joys of her life with her husband!
Mu Wan Yao was utterly pleased with herself.Danyang Princess attended the banquet, and the noble young matrons naturally welcomed her. As Mu Wan Yao had anticipated, married women would inevitably steer conversations toward their husbands. Hearing their topics, Mu Wan Yao promptly set down the melon seeds she was holding, pricked up her ears to listen, and prepared to share her opinions at the right moment to boast about her married life.
The women brought up their husbands and unconsciously revealed suggestive smiles.
They asked the young princess, "Your Highness has only been married for a short while. The Imperial Son-in-Law must have been quite demanding, hasn’t he?"
Mu Wan Yao replied innocently, "Not at all, I’m not tired. Second Brother Yan treats me very well."
The young matrons chided, "That’s not what we meant... We meant the matters in bed."
Mu Wan Yao was bewildered.
As she observed the meaningful smiles in these women’s eyes, she suddenly realized that she seemed different from the others. She didn’t quite understand what they were talking about or the implications behind their suggestive expressions.
Mu Wan Yao remained composed. She wouldn’t speak carelessly about things she didn’t understand and risk being laughed at. So she vaguely brushed off the topic.
The Fourth Princess, seeing them tease her younger sister, quickly came to her rescue, scolding, "What nonsense are you all talking about? Aren’t all men the same? It’s as if none of you have ever been married."
The Fourth Princess, Princess Yuyang, turned to her sister and whispered guidance, blushing as she said, "Little sister, you’re newly married. I heard that last month, you even sent the palace matron back to the palace. I know that young couples like you may not know how to restrain yourselves... but you shouldn’t be too reckless. The Imperial Son-in-Law is young and a man—it’s easy for him to lose control. But as women, we must take care of our own health.
"You can’t always indulge him. You can’t give in every time he wants."
Another woman shared her experience, "You mustn’t spoil those men. If you always give in, once they grow tired, they’ll go looking for temptresses outside. Of course, Your Highness is a princess, so the Imperial Son-in-Law probably wouldn’t dare... but wasn’t the Eldest Princess’s Imperial Son-in-Law exactly like that? You still need to be cautious."
Mu Wan Yao nodded in confusion.
Then, a maid whispered something to one of the women, who turned and proudly boasted, "My husband is so annoying—he’s always seeking me out, asking me to return home."
Someone nearby remarked enviously, "Madam, you and your husband are so harmonious. We all envy you."
Mu Wan Yao strained her ears: Huh? Other women’s husbands actively seek out their wives?
Another mentioned how her husband begged her to go somewhere with him.
Mu Wan Yao: Huh? Other women’s husbands even beg their wives to go out with them?
Yet another spoke of her husband asking her to make shoes or embroider pouches, someone else mentioned her husband drawing her eyebrows, and another talked about how her husband’s gaze was different when looking at her... They might not all have genuinely loving relationships, but in public, they always searched for such traces to flaunt the happiness of their marriages.
Mu Wan Yao, however, was truly stunned by what she heard.
She didn’t know how much of their words were true, nor did she need to. All she needed to know was that she had none of what they were boasting about.
She had always believed her married life was exceptionally good, that she and Yan Shang were deeply in love. But now, she suddenly realized... perhaps it was all just her illusion.
It dawned on her that perhaps Yan Shang didn’t like her at all. Perhaps this marriage was something the Emperor and Empress had forced him into, and he was merely enduring it—
The first snow of early winter fell.Yan Shang found the snow in Chang'an unbearably cold. While on duty at the Crown Prince's residence during the day, he sneezed several times and appeared to be catching a chill. The Crown Prince thus granted him an early leave to rest. Yet how could Yan Shang find time to rest?
He was invited to a banquet in the Pleasure Quarter.
His mind was elsewhere until he spotted a particular pastry at the feast. Upon tasting it, he couldn't help but smile.
The host immediately remarked, "Does Lord Yan like this pastry?"
Yan Shang snapped back to attention, slightly embarrassed. "No, I was thinking my wife would probably enjoy it."
She had a sweet tooth.
The sweeter it was, the more she liked it. During their newlywed days, the pastries she experimented with were often so cloying that Yan Shang could barely swallow them. But faced with the little princess's hopeful, pleading eyes, how could he say he disliked them?
The gentleman across from him laughed. "It seems Lord Yan and Her Highness share a deep affection."
Yan Shang lowered his gaze, cheeks flushing—
Because of this interlude, Yan Shang made hasty farewells and brought some of the pastries back with him, hoping to share them with Mu Wan Yao while still warm. Learning from the household staff that the princess had gone to another banquet, Yan Shang thought for a moment before braving the snow with the pastries to fetch her.
When news of the imperial son-in-law's arrival spread, the ladies at the banquet sighed with envy. While they all boasted of their husbands' devotion, only Danyang Princess's consort had actually come through the snow to meet her.
Yet Mu Wan Yao wore a stern expression and snorted, appearing anything but pleased.
She went out with her maids and saw Yan Shang waiting by the carriage. His wide sleeves brushed the ground as he stood in the snow like a jade statue, dark eyes smiling at her. Seeing him like this, Mu Wan Yao couldn't help returning his smile.
Then she caught herself: Why should she smile at him! He didn't even like her!
Yan Shang placed a hand on her shoulder to assist her into the carriage, speaking gently, "I brought your favorite pastries—they're still warm. We can try them in the carriage. If you like them, we'll visit that restaurant for dinner tonight, alright?"
Mu Wan Yao nodded obediently. "Yes, yes!"
Then she caught herself again: No! Not alright! He didn't even like her...
With a light push on her shoulder, he helped her into the carriage. Just as Mu Wan Yao was wrestling with whether to ask if he had been forced into marriage and didn't actually love her, Yan Shang unfolded a handkerchief and carefully fed her a piece of soft, glutinous pastry.
At the first taste, Mu Wan Yao's brows instantly smoothed, her eyes growing moist and luminous.
Yan Shang smiled. "I knew you'd like it. Don't rush—have some tea with it."
He fed her the pastry with tender words, and the young couple agreed to dine at the tavern that evening. During this, Yan Shang sneezed several times, making Mu Wan Yao anxious that he might be ill. She fussed over him with such concern that he blushed and lowered his head, unable to suppress a smile.
After all this commotion, Mu Wan Yao had lost the nerve to confront him.
Well... she'd wait until after dinner tonight, after enjoying her favorite pastries, then quarrel with him.
Ah, but he seemed to be ill.
Then she'd wait until he recovered before picking a fight.
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