Another case of shifting blame.
Yan Shang thought this must be the most unpleasant experience he'd had since falling for Mu Wan Yao.
Even with her soft fragrance and delicate beauty, his heart remained tormented, torn between conflicting emotions.
Mu Wan Yao embraced him from behind, observing how he kept his head lowered. Even when she falsely accused him of wanting to abandon her, he remained silent.
Yan Shang truly belonged to that rare category of men who seldom lost their temper. While other gentlemen frequently flew into rages, Yan Shang's gentle demeanor was his natural state. Their previous arguments about children and marriage had been one of those rare occasions when he'd genuinely become angry.
This time, though she hadn't returned to Chang'an for half a month, how could Mu Wan Yao not have received reports from the Princess Residence? She knew perfectly well that Yan Shang had returned to Chang'an ten days ago and had come looking for her at the Princess Residence. He had probably already discovered she'd feigned illness to lure him back.
Coupled with what he'd experienced in Shu...
He should be furious, even more so than last time. It would be normal for him to vent his anger at her. That's why his current silence made Mu Wan Yao feel the situation was particularly serious.
His behavior frightened her—afraid he would see reality clearly, afraid he would conclude they weren't suitable after careful consideration, afraid he would reject her and want to separate.
Though terrified in her heart, as a princess who never had to please anyone, she genuinely didn't know how to offer a truly sincere apology. So she continued holding him from behind, thinking that even if he wouldn't speak, at least he hadn't pushed her away.
She smiled sweetly: "After half a year in Shu, your shoulders have broadened, but your waist remains this slender."
Yan Shang murmured: "Your Highness, please let me get dressed first."
Naturally, Mu Wan Yao wouldn't let him have his way. She tightened her embrace and nuzzled against him, then kissed the back of his ear from behind. Her voice was soft and gentle: "The Emperor bestowed an evening banquet, why didn't you attend? Judging by your appearance, were you planning to sleep this early? How can you possibly fall asleep at this hour?"
Yan Shang: "Why didn't you go?"
Seeing he was willing to speak with her, Mu Wan Yao's eyes sparkled with laughter. She continued planting light, fleeting kisses while saying: "Why would I go without you? I only wanted to see you.
"Half a year apart, and you don't miss me at all, yet I've been thinking of you constantly, Second Brother Yan."
Yan Shang's heart softened.
He whispered: "I missed you too."
Mu Wan Yao instantly brightened with joy. She pulled him to turn and face her. Yan Shang didn't resist much, allowing her to guide him by the hand.
Mu Wan Yao had changed clothes—unlike the layered skirts he'd seen her in that afternoon, she now wore a pink and white patterned dress with a high waistline and long skirt. The skirt featured an elegant plum tree design, both delicate and lively.
Behind Mu Wan Yao stood what was originally a bookshelf. She lightly rose on her toes and hopped to sit on the table, pulling Yan Shang a few steps closer.
She made him stand beside her while her feet dangled without touching the ground. After swaying slightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his head down so she could kiss him.
Her fingers wandered to his waist.
Amidst rustling sounds, she looked up and whispered: "I know you're angry about me feigning illness to deceive you, but I did it to make you return sooner. When I heard you encountered an assassination attempt in Shu, if the distance hadn't been too great for me to reach you in time, I would have rushed to your rescue. How could I watch you remain in danger when you were so unsafe there?"Yan Shang lowered his gaze, his dark eyes fixed on her as if assessing and judging.
Mu Wan Yao pressed her lips against his neck, kissing him again, and said, "I had someone make a cloak and a rabbit-fur robe for you... Since you're from Lingnan, you must feel the winter cold in Chang'an more than we do. I prepared these early so you'd have an easier time this year."
She tilted her head thoughtfully, her voice tinged with concern, "But when I hugged you earlier, you seemed thinner. It must be because Shudi didn’t agree with you. Tell me, should you eat more so I can fatten you up a bit, or should we take new measurements and adjust the clothes I made for you?"
Yan Shang was taken aback.
His cool fingers brushed her fair cheek as he watched her sitting obediently on the table, lifting her face to let him observe her. An indescribable feeling stirred in his heart: "You actually... made clothes for me? You never... cared about such things before."
Mu Wan Yao blushed slightly, "I was immature before. Now I’m learning how to care for my husband. I’ve picked up a lot from my fourth sister... Second Brother Yan, after half a year apart, I’ve truly improved. I’m not as willful and self-centered as I used to be. I’m learning to be considerate of you."
Yan Shang bent down and embraced her.
Seeing him willing to hold her, Mu Wan Yao was overjoyed. She turned her face to kiss him again, brushing her lips against his. Yet, disturbed by her scent, he found his mind wandering for the first time during such an intimate moment with Mu Wan Yao.
He looked at her with a complex expression.
A person’s temperament is inevitably shaped by their experiences.
She both fears confronting problems and decisively cuts them off.
She clings to him as if he were her only lifeline, yet she can also sever ties with unwavering resolve.
She is bold yet timid, unrestrained yet fragile. She is not foolish—far from it; in fact, she is remarkably perceptive. Clumsily and with such delicate care, she tries to please him. Her beautiful eyes, fixed on him, seem to say, "I’m sorry," "I was wrong, but please don’t be angry."
A captivating spring-like charm bloomed in Mu Wan Yao’s expression. Under her playful antics, Yan Shang’s already thin inner robe was left in disarray. She knew he was also stirred—after such a long separation, it was impossible for him to resist. A hint of smug laughter escaped her as she arched her neck, guiding his hand to caress her.
Yan Shang suddenly asked, "How deeply were you involved in this matter?"
Mu Wan Yao paused, lifting her eyes to him. After a moment, she replied obediently, "I didn’t really intervene; I only called you back."
The tension in Yan Shang’s jaw eased slightly. He had been afraid she was too deeply entangled. If her crimes were severe, even protecting her would be wrong.
Yan Shang continued, "Is the Ministry of Revenue truly closely connected with the officials in Yizhou? Did they all accept bribes from below..."
Mu Wan Yao grew impatient, "Are you investigating a case? Interrogating me? What answer are you trying to get from me?"
Yan Shang fell silent.
Realizing her attitude was inappropriate—she was here to win Yan Shang over, not deepen their conflict—Mu Wan Yao softened her tone and whispered, "Can’t we just talk about love and affection? If you want to investigate, go ahead and do it yourself. Don’t question me like this, not now, not with such suspicion."
Yan Shang said, "I’m sorry. But, you really..."
She silenced him, refusing to let him continue.
Spring’s passion flowed like water, while the bright moon shone outside the window.Mu Wan Yao tried her best to guide Yan Shang, hoping to ease the tension between them. But he simply couldn’t get into the right state of mind. She endured it patiently for a long time, yet their first intimate encounter felt like torture—unwilling on his part and devoid of any beauty for her.
Both were merely enduring.
And that endurance soon erupted.
At a critical moment, pressing against his slightly open collar, Mu Wan Yao suddenly let out a sharp cry, her entire body tensing up, startling him. Immediately, she pushed him away, forcing him back two steps. Only then did he grab her wrist, intending to pull her closer and check on her, but Mu Wan Yao slapped his arm with a sharp crack.
Tears welled in the corners of her eyes from the pain: "How dare you force it like that?"
She lashed out without thinking: "Being inexperienced is one thing, but now you don’t even have a shred of gentleness? I wasn’t ready, and you just went ahead recklessly? What do you take me for? A burden? A trial? A task? As long as you’re satisfied, that’s all that matters? Do you think I don’t feel pain?"
Yan Shang’s face turned pale, then flushed—it was the first time anyone had criticized his lack of skill so bluntly. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and in the flickering candlelight and the glow from outside the window, he could see her expression was strained and somewhat ashen. Scolded like this, he ignored his own discomfort at being suddenly pushed away and immediately lowered his head, trying to see where he had hurt her.
Yan Shang stammered, "I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would be like this. Did I hurt you? Are you injured? Let me see..."
Mu Wan Yao: "Get away!"
She couldn’t stand the atmosphere any longer and refused to let him touch her again, no matter what. She jumped down from the table, furiously straightening her clothes with a cold expression, and strode toward the door. Yan Shang hurriedly tied his sash, searching for his scattered garments so he could chase after her.
Mu Wan Yao had only gone halfway before turning back and throwing something at Yan Shang.
It didn’t hurt.
Yan Shang caught the object she had thrown and looked down to see an extremely ugly pouch. What was embroidered on it? Seaweed? A cockroach? Or a butterfly?
Even the pouch his younger sister had embroidered at twelve was far more presentable than this thing hurled at him.
Mu Wan Yao’s eyes were red and blazing with anger. She spread her ten fingers and shook them, fuming: "I nearly pierced all my fingers sewing this pouch for you! My hands were swollen for a month! While you were being all noble and righteous, my heart was full of you!"
Yan Shang: "Yao Yao..."
He clutched the pouch, hastily covering his open collar. As Mu Wan Yao turned to leave again, he had so much to say to her that he rushed forward and grabbed her wrist to stop her.
This issue, clear as day, had to be addressed! It had to be resolved!
Yan Shang spoke quickly, afraid she would leave: "The matter in Shu is indeed connected to the Ministry of Revenue, isn’t it? Are you trying to protect them? Who are you shielding? Since you didn’t give the order, you shouldn’t get involved any further... Even if you suffer some losses, you’re still a princess. Your status as a princess won’t be harmed in the slightest..."
Mu Wan Yao, held by him, found it laughable.
She said, "The people I’ve lost, the power I’ve sacrificed, the resources and reputation I painstakingly built—none of that matters?"
Yan Shang’s tone sharpened: "What does any of that matter? I’ve warned you before, reminded you many times—desiring power isn’t a grave sin, but you mustn’t become obsessed with it. Don’t be stubborn and sink deeper! You..."Mu Wan Yao stared at him.
She whispered, "Power isn't important? But Yan Shang, without power, how could you become the Imperial Son-in-Law? How could I marry you?"
Yan Shang froze, unsure why the conversation had taken this turn.
She gazed at him quietly, tears still glistening in her eyes, her expression utterly weary.
In this moment, Mu Wan Yao didn't resemble a spoiled, willful princess. Instead, she radiated the cold detachment and despair of someone in power.
She locked eyes with him: "Yan Shang, before you left Chang'an, you chased after me for dozens of miles—what were you begging for? You begged for us to reconcile, for me to give you a timeline so you wouldn't be waiting in the dark, not knowing when we could be together openly.
"I remembered your words. I've been working hard to give you an answer. Without power, could I achieve that? If I lost my current status, would the Li Family spare me? Would the Crown Prince spare me? You seek the wellbeing of the people and the stability of the nation. What I seek is simply to survive—to live gloriously, free from coercion.
"I've been thinking that only when my power makes the Crown Prince wary and forces the Li Family to rely on me can I set conditions with them. Only then can I tell everyone that I want Yan Shang as my Imperial Son-in-Law. Only when my power commands respect can I freely marry the person I love and live the life I want."
A tear fell from her eye, splashing onto Yan Shang's arm where he held her.
His chest tightened with bitterness. Many accusations he had for her died unspoken beneath that single tear.
Though tears streamed down her face, her expression remained stubborn and unyielding: "During the half year you were gone, I seriously contemplated the timeline you wanted. I set myself a goal of two years—within two years, I must marry you, and make sure neither the Li Family nor the Crown Prince objects.
"If I don't rely on myself, can I count on you? Yan Shang, you've never been willing to use public office for private gain—I can't depend on you. I fell in love with someone completely devoted to public service. I don't blame you; this is the path I chose, and I'll walk it alone. Now you say my love for power has become abnormal, that I should let go... Yan Shang, don't judge others' faults without experiencing their suffering. I'm not as good as you imagine, but I'm not utterly wicked either.
"Our differing positions aren't my choice. But if you intend to confront me with weapons drawn, I won't retreat a single step, nor will I show any mercy.
"Yan Shang, back when you pledged yourself to me, I warned you: once you cease to serve me, once we walk different paths, I will kill you. Now... let's each rely on our own capabilities."
She shook off his grip on her wrist and walked out. He chased after her for two steps, stopping at the doorway, watching only her sorrowful retreating figure. Confusion and bitterness welled up in Yan Shang's heart. In this world, many matters aren't black and white—to help some people, he must hurt others.
He firmly believed he was right.
Yet Mu Wan Yao wasn't choosing to oppose him for evil purposes. She was fighting for self-preservation, for... the day they could marry without doubt or abandonment—
Late that night, rain began to fall.
Yan Shang lay awake all night, pondering many things; Mu Wan Yao also stayed up through the night, her eyes bloodshot from sleeplessness.Another person unable to sleep was Liu Wenji.
Sitting alone in the dark chamber, Liu Wenji poured himself cup after cup of wine. Since taking control of the Northern Agency, he had spent much less time attending to the Emperor. Like this evening, he had time to hide away in his room drinking alone.
The wine burned as it went down, and his mind repeatedly conjured the scene from dusk—Chunhua holding her child, her gentle smile by the water's edge.
Liu Wenji’s face remained expressionless.
Since his castration and entry into the palace, he had busied himself with various affairs and dealings with all sorts of people. He made himself exceptionally weary, exceptionally humble. Only this way could he forget Chunhua.
A year had passed.
Not once had he thought of her.
Not once.
Only by not thinking of her could he survive. Only by not thinking of her could he convince himself.
But today, she had appeared unexpectedly—with a husband who loved her, a son who depended on her. She lived happily, her smile as clear and pure as morning dew.
Liu Wenji felt both jealous and bitter. Now, hiding in the darkness, clutching his increasingly twisted heart, scarred and wounded, he could only weep silently—
Why did she have to see him like this?
Why did she have to see him? To see that the person she once loved had become a eunuch, and a eunuch with bloodstained hands at that.
Did he want her pity? Her sympathy?
If fate brought two people together in love, they should forget each other early on. Why must what remains in the end be sympathy?
He resented this fate, he refused to accept it!—
Liu Wenji sat through the night, listening to the dreary rain. By daybreak, the rain had ceased. After washing his face, he knew he was in no state to serve His Majesty. Just as he was about to request leave, a eunuch knocked on his door.
Exhausted, Liu Wenji allowed him in.
The eunuch whispered in his ear, "Sir, Luo Xiu is dead."
Liu Wenji’s eyes snapped open.
The eunuch smiled apologetically, "It wasn’t us. When we found him, he was already swollen, lying in the water. We discovered him on the back hill of a gentleman’s estate... That gentleman helped us deal with Luo Xiu and said we could claim he drowned after getting drunk. If anyone investigates, the gentleman will testify for us."
Liu Wenji stared intently.
He understood instantly from the eunuch’s expression, "...Someone is offering a Pledge of Allegiance? Hah, scholars have always looked down on us. I wonder who has such foresight?"
The eunuch replied softly, "It’s Sacrificial Wine Official Zhao."
Liu Wenji frowned, unfamiliar with the name. But a Sacrificial Wine Official... an insignificant noble with a hollow title—no surprise he hadn’t heard of him.
The eunuch asked, "That Duke Zhao wishes to visit you, sir. Would you be willing to see him?"
A malicious, mocking smile curled at the corner of Liu Wenji’s lips.
His voice was light and indifferent, "See him! Of course, see him! If a scholar seeks allegiance... there will be more in the future."
He looked down at his slender fingers, yet faintly visible were the traces of blood from yesterday. His smile deepened, his voice growing even softer, twisted, "Mark my words, this is only the beginning. The scholar-officials who come to rely on me will only grow in number..."
Power, like a monster, lures everyone, dragging them all into hell.That ever-expanding ambition, that power one becomes increasingly unwilling to relinquish... Once one has tasted its sweetness, who would willingly let it go?—
Yet Yan Shang was determined to pull Mu Wan Yao out of it.
Mu Wan Yao was still at the imperial gardens in Fanchuan, and the next day, Yan Shang came again to seek an audience with her. With the Emperor present, Mu Wan Yao found it inappropriate to engage in any intimate gestures or childish back-and-forth with Yan Shang under His Majesty's watchful eyes, so she had no choice but to allow him in.
However, though she permitted his entry, she paid him no attention.
In the hall warmed by a charcoal fire, Mu Wan Yao reclined on a daybed, drinking cup after cup of wine. Yan Shang sat beside her, speaking softly, urging her to drink less, and perhaps advising her on other matters as well.
This was the scene that greeted Chunhua when she entered to pay her respects to the princess.
It gave Chunhua a sense of déjà vu—as if she were back at the Princess Residence, where the princess would often sulk and ignore Yan Erlang, while Yan Erlang patiently coaxed and comforted her.
Mu Wan Yao lifted her eyelids and noticed Chunhua.
After exchanging greetings, Chunhua took her seat. Struggling with embarrassment, she hesitated several times before mustering her courage: "Your Highness, I have seen Liu Wenji."
Mu Wan Yao’s hand, holding the wine cup, stilled. Though she was somewhat muddled from drinking, her mind remained clear enough to grasp what Chunhua was saying. Mu Wan Yao turned her gaze to Chunhua, and Yan Shang, seated beside her, also looked over in surprise.
Chunhua fought back the tears in her eyes.
She knew she shouldn’t ask too much, but after seeing Liu Wenji in such a state yesterday... she couldn’t help herself.
She hadn’t dared to show any reaction in front of Prince Jin, but here with the princess, her tears finally fell uncontrollably. She frantically wiped them away, only for more to follow.
With red-rimmed eyes, how could Chunhua not feel resentment? How could she not blame anyone?
Her voice trembled: "Your Highness... didn’t you promise me you would take care of him? Why has he become a eunuch? Why isn’t he married with children, blessed with a family? Why has it come to this?"
Mu Wan Yao’s hand, clutching the wine cup, trembled slightly.
Her jaw tightened, her cheeks flushed from the wine but now slowly paling.
Her head throbbed with pain, her heart was restless, yet she forced herself to endure.
Mu Wan Yao reached out and pushed Yan Shang’s arm. Frowning as she suppressed her discomfort, she mumbled for him to rise: "You go and speak to her. You explain what happened... You have a gentle temper—you go in my place!"
Yan Shang sighed. Before leaving, he instructed Xiarong to keep an eye on Mu Wan Yao and ensure she drank no more wine.
Xiarong felt anxious, thinking to herself, "If even you, Yan Erlang, cannot restrain her, how could I possibly persuade her?"
Sure enough, after attempting a few words of advice, she was driven out of the hall by the princess to face the cold wind—
By the time Yan Shang returned, half an hour had passed. The charcoal fire in the hall had gone out, and he found Mu Wan Yao slumped over the table, her hand supporting her forehead. She seemed to be in great distress, tapping her fingers against her temples.
Seeing her like this, Yan Shang felt both anger and pity. He sat down and leaned in to look at her, but Mu Wan Yao suddenly stirred and pushed him away.
Yan Shang was slightly annoyed: "Yao Yao!"
Mu Wan Yao turned her face to him and asked, "Has Chunhua left?"
Suppressing his concern for her, Yan Shang replied softly, "Yes. I explained everything to her, stayed with her while she cried, and offered a few words of comfort. Don’t worry—when she left, I had the maids take her to wash her face. No one will be able to tell she was crying here with us."Mu Wan Yao said, "It's my place, not our place."
Yan Shang remained silent.
Mu Wan Yao closed her eyes, mocking herself: "I'm truly unlucky now. Everyone with some grievance comes to me for an explanation, as if I were the one who castrated Liu Wenji, as if I were the one who committed atrocities in Shu. I suppose I should be torn apart by five horses and die to atone for my sins—only then would you all be satisfied."
Yan Shang felt heartbroken: "When you speak like this, you're tearing my heart out. If I thought that way, why would I still be sitting here?"
Mu Wan Yao: "I don't know why you're still sitting here either! Shouldn't you be checking accounts, investigating, thinking of ways to bring me down? What are you doing here? Seeking sympathy? Comfort?"
Yan Shang remained silent for a moment.
He said: "Now that I'm in the Ministry of Revenue, I've become a marginal figure with no access to anything. How could I investigate?"
Mu Wan Yao sneered: "You deserve it."
Yan Shang had been troubled by this matter, holding onto that tension, and now he was mentally exhausted. Wearily, he said: "Can you not be like this? If there's a problem, let's solve it. What good does it do you to mock me with such sarcasm? Does it make you feel better?"
Mu Wan Yao fell silent for a while, then said: "I thought sparing your life was mercy enough. Yan Shang, you should know, if it were anyone else who threatened my interests like this..."
Yan Shang said: "If it were anyone else, I wouldn't be so constrained either."
Mu Wan Yao grew wary.
She looked at him, and he met her gaze.
Sitting beside her, they both looked out at the hall.
Yan Shang spoke slowly: "I don't want to pursue this too deeply, and I don't have the ability to anyway. What's important now isn't assigning blame but making amends. Since I've been sidelined by you all and truly can't investigate anything... Yao Yao, don't force me to investigate either. I don't want us to fight to mutual destruction where no one benefits. I need you to make compensation, for the people of Shu.
"Although only the governor of Yi Province died among Shu's officials, I hope the others can be replaced too. But I've already made promises to those officials—I can't go back on my word. So this matter can only be compensated by you.
"Next spring's imperial examination will bring a new batch of officials to court. I want your promise that these officials will fill the vacancies in Shu."
Mu Wan Yao said nothing.
Yan Shang gently took her hand. She trembled, struggled slightly, but didn't pull away. Yan Shang stared blankly for a moment before saying: "Yao Yao, I know you act this way because you've never truly seen the suffering of common people. The young lady who could read 'The Great Rat' with me, who could speak those words to Zhao Wuniang—she could never be a princess who treats human life as worthless.
"You just haven't seen it, you just don't understand. Yao Yao, when spring plowing comes next year, let's find a way to leave Chang'an together. I must show you what the real common people are like... not what you imagine from books. Only when you see them will you understand why I stand on their side."
Mu Wan Yao turned her face to look at him quietly.
Changing the subject abruptly, she said: "I've prepared your capping ceremony and invited your teacher to crown you. It's in a few days."
Yan Shang was startled: "My capping ceremony?"
A self-mocking smile touched Mu Wan Yao's lips.
She lowered her eyes and said: "Your heart belongs to the people and the world. But in my heart, there's only you."Her gaze fixed on the cloudless horizon beyond the hall, she whispered softly, "I'm too insignificant, too pitiful, too laughable, aren't I?"
"I've always been insignificant, pitiful, and laughable in your eyes, haven't I?"
Yan Shang stared at her in a daze, then reached out and pulled her, half-drunk, into his embrace. Ignoring her struggles this time, he held her tightly, his burning heart pressed against her icy body.
As if making a vow, he murmured softly in her ear, "I will watch over you. I will definitely watch over you."
"I won't let you stray down the wrong path. I will definitely hold you back."—
After coaxing Mu Wan Yao to sleep, Yan Shang left Fanchuan. He went to the Ministry of Revenue briefly before leaving again. Since he had been sidelined in the ministry now, there was truly nothing for him to do. The Ministry of Revenue was wary of him, leaving him with no tasks to occupy his days—it was better to leave.
But this didn't mean Yan Shang could relax any easier.
There was recent news in the court: Luo Xiu was dead.
Yan Shang, who had been investigating the people behind Luo Xiu all along, immediately grew alert: Luo Xiu's death could not possibly be an accident.
OpenNovel