In the following days, Hualan visited Minglan once more, and the sisters had reached a tacit understanding on the matter.
If all their siblings prospered while only Mulan's family struggled in hardship and misery, they couldn't simply stand by idly—that would be equally troublesome. For these reasons, it was best for Mulan and her husband not to branch off independently but to continue relying on the Yongchang Marquis Estate for support.
Hualan and Madam Liu had agreed that they would handle all other minor disputes, though Minglan still needed to make an appearance to lend authority to the situation.
One day, Madam Liang sent an invitation, stating that the women of the Liang clan and their relatives would gather for tea to discuss the division of the family estate. Hualan deemed this occasion suitable: as it involved inner household matters among women, there was no need for outright confrontation, yet it would clearly convey the Sheng family's stance. Thus, she asked Minglan to accompany her.
On the way, the three sisters-in-law shared a carriage. Minglan inquired about the recent situation in the Liang family, "I'm also puzzled. Old Marquis Liang has just passed his seventh-week memorial rites, so how could Madam Liang so brazenly demand the family division?"
In ancient times, dividing a family was hardly a respectable affair. Unless initiated by parents or presided over by elders, it often invited gossip.
Madam Liu sighed. As the one most entangled in these matters, having been repeatedly entrusted by her father-in-law and husband, she had no choice but to busy herself with the efforts. She explained, "Sixth Sister, you are an honest person and wouldn't think of such petty schemes. Ever since the old marquis passed away, the eldest branch has been restless. After Master Liang left for Xuanfu, things quieted down for a while. But as soon as the decree for the heir apparent was issued, Madam Liang started making trouble again, and even more aggressively."
Hualan sneered, "Her motives aren't hard to guess. She probably thought that since the old marquis hadn't designated an heir apparent, she could seize the opportunity to achieve some merits and contend for the title. Now that hope is lost, she's pushing for the family division."
Madam Liu wearily replied, "I believe that's the case as well. Madam Liang won't openly demand the division but constantly stirs up trouble, making indirect accusations. One day she claims Second Madam Liang is shortchanging her allowance, the next she complains that her mother-in-law is biased and the whole household is bullying her. At the slightest provocation, she bursts into tears or calls in relatives to plead her case, constantly threatening to end her life and insisting she 'can't go on like this.' Even Fourth Sister was reprimanded for mistreating her cousin, that Concubine Chun'ge."
Hualan grew impatient, "Why doesn't Madam Liang just turn a blind eye? What's the point of dealing with such a petty person?"
Minglan shook her head, "Aunt Liang is too proud to tolerate such humiliation."
"Then she should assert her authority as a mother-in-law and not let others take her for a pushover!" Hualan struck the carriage wall, which was padded thickly with brocade and cotton, absorbing the sound without a trace.
Madam Liu explained, "Eldest Sister, you may not be aware, but in recent years, Master Liang has been thriving in his official career, and everyone holds him in high regard. After the current emperor ascended the throne, even Old Marquis Liang faced reprimands, yet Master Liang managed to gain the favor of Commander Fan of Xuanfu through some unknown connections and continues to rise steadily. Outsiders even say that the old marquis's reinstatement was thanks to his son's influence. People are quick to shift with the wind, and in this dispute over the family division, many in the Liang family have sided with Madam Liang, infuriating Aunt Liang to no end!"
Hearing this, both sisters sighed. Minglan couldn't help but lament, "In the end, it all comes down to having capable offspring."Hualan thought of her own situation, her brows deeply furrowed, and murmured softly, "Nurturing a tiger invites calamity." No wonder legitimate mothers in this world always guard against sons born of concubines, some even intentionally raising them to be useless—there's clearly some truth to it, and here was a perfect example right before her eyes.
Minglan glanced at her and said gently, "Families like the Liangs are rare anywhere. Sister, don't take it to heart."
It was unclear whether Hualan took it in, as she only nodded.
When they arrived at the Liang residence, various distinguished guests had already gathered in the side hall near the rockery. The ladies present were adorned in luxurious attire and glittering jewels. Minglan quickly counted—there were over a dozen of them. Madam Liang pointed them out, and Minglan learned that two were Madam Liang's relatives, two were Second Madam Liang's mother and sister-in-law from her maternal family, four were female relatives from the Liang clan, and the rest were all from Madam Liang's maternal family. The concubine-born Third Madam sat alone with her head bowed, while Fourth Madam Molan's family had just arrived.
"You're with child, you needn't have come," Madam Liang said apologetically.
Minglan cradled her belly and smiled faintly, "It's no trouble. These months are quite stable. Since you have matters to attend to, Aunt, we as juniors ought to come and see."
After exchanging greetings, everyone took their seats.
Madam Liang was around thirty, petite and slender, with above-average looks. She warily glanced at Minglan and the other two, shook out her handkerchief, and resumed her previous topic—lamenting how difficult life was under Madam Liang's authority.
"...All I wanted was to eat some quail eggs—are they such precious things? The servants just brush me off. The better ones answer me, while the worse ones secretly complain that I'm making trouble. If it were my sister-in-law making the request, they'd probably catch quails overnight!" As she spoke, she wiped her tears. "A girl of four or five, what does she know? She still thinks her grandfather is around. How can her father compare to Second Uncle and Fourth Uncle..."
This woman had a skillful way of airing grievances, elaborating on every minor detail. A delayed cup of tea, a cold bowl of soup, a single word, or a glance—all could be twisted into matters of respect and dignity.
Beside her, several women chimed in one after another, either sighing about how hard it was to be the wife of a concubine-born eldest son, or provoking by saying how reasonable and generous Madam Liang was, surely able to understand the eldest madam's grievances and difficulties.
Madam Liang, her face ashen, said, "Are you implying I'm unfair in handling matters?" The eldest madam sobbed in retort, "Even five fingers aren't the same length, let alone the distinction between legitimate and concubine-born. How could Mother be at fault?" Madam Liang couldn't bluntly say, "I treat the concubine-born son better than the legitimate one," and could only choke back her anger.
The eldest madam wept as she spoke, rambling on incessantly. Despite her tear-streaked face, her words were coherent and logical, not merely wild and unreasonable. Minglan listened with amusement, inwardly marveling at encountering such a master of this art for the first time.
For instance, if you straightforwardly accused someone, saying, "Brother Monkey, why do you only favor Brother Pig and always make me do the work?" the other could at least defend themselves, arguing, "That gluttonous slacker is nowhere as steady and reliable as you, Brother Sha, with your striking looks and peerless charm," and so on. Even if it didn't convince everyone, it would still count as an explanation.
But this eldest madam Liang didn't follow conventional tactics, instead adopting a stream-of-consciousness approach, merely stating, "You harbor hidden resentment in your hearts, your eyes show contempt, your actions carry disgust... Don't deny it. We're not blind—we can see it clearly."Faced with such an opponent, what could you do besides turning red in the face and cursing "Fuck your mother"? No wonder even Molan had lost to her. Minglan suddenly realized—truly, masters of manipulation could be found among ordinary folk.
Second Madam Liang was gentle and dignified, never having spoken a single disrespectful word to her elders. Third Madam Liang, feeling sorry for her own situation, remained timidly silent. Molan wanted to speak up several times but, fearing Madam Liang’s authority, dared not make a scene and could only sit resentfully to the side.
Madam Liang had been crying and complaining for the time it takes to drink two cups of tea before finally getting to the point: "You have hurt the feelings of the eldest branch and tried to disrupt our peaceful lives. This cannot go on any longer."
Madam Liang, already furious, sneered, "If you want to divide the family, just say so. Do you think I would stop you?"
Unexpectedly, Madam Liang did not take the bait. Instead, she continued weeping and wailing, rambling on: "When a tree grows large, its branches must separate. Dividing the family isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The bond between brothers cannot be severed. Even if we all live apart, we can still visit often and remain as close as ever." She circled around the topic, hinting at how the two younger brothers should be supported.
Madam Liang trembled with rage. "If you want to leave, then go! Why must you drag Third and Fourth Brother into this? I’ve already said it’s impossible. Why won’t you give up?"
Second Madam Liang hurried over to support her mother-in-law, saying repeatedly, "Mother, please calm down. Eldest Sister-in-law is merely speaking for herself. The two younger brothers and their wives have long said they do not wish to move out."
Third Madam Liang and Molan also quickly stood up, declaring in unison, "We are willing to serve and care for Mother."
Madam Liang immediately stopped crying, her willow-leaf eyebrows shooting up as she retorted, "If we’re dividing the family, we should all do it together. How can one leave while the other two stay? Let’s settle this matter now to avoid future complications."
Minglan had to think it over several times before she understood: the eldest branch of the Liang family not only wanted to split for themselves but also insisted that the two younger brothers move out as well? She turned and saw Hualan looking at her, both exchanging puzzled glances.
Madam Liu, Second Madam Liang’s sister-in-law, could no longer remain seated. She spoke gently, "If Eldest Madam wishes to divide the family, but the two younger ones do not, why force them? Let each manage their own affairs." She came from a prominent family in southern Zhejiang, where her father, grandfather, and brothers had served as officials for three generations. Whether in her maiden or marital family, the household had always valued humility and self-reflection. She had never encountered such shameless behavior.
Madam Liang’s expression shifted several times before she forced a smile and said, "Madam, you are mistaken. If the younger brothers do not split off and only we leave, wouldn’t it make us appear unfilial?"
Minglan could no longer hold back and chuckled, "Eldest Madam Liang’s considerations are indeed thorough, but if they clearly do not wish to, why should they divide the family for your sake?"
Madam Liang gave a hollow smile. "We all share the same family name, Liang. Would Mother and the younger brothers bear to see Eldest Brother criticized by outsiders?"
Minglan teased, "Didn’t Eldest Madam just now repeatedly complain about how poorly your mother-in-law and sisters-in-law treated you? If they were so openly harsh to you, why worry about 'outsiders’ criticism'?" This was not mere argumentativeness but a matter of logic.
Madam Liang was immediately left speechless. Soft, derisive laughter rippled through the room. Madam Liang’s tightly furrowed brows relaxed, and a faint, thawing smile appeared on her face. Second Madam Liang turned to give Madam Liu a grateful look. Third Madam Liang secretly glanced at Minglan. Molan, however, wore a complicated expression, studying the others for a moment before gazing blankly out the window.Minglan added another point, "Besides, everyone has eyes to see what constitutes filial piety. With our father having passed away less than a hundred days ago, even if there were sky-high grievances, one should endure them. Yet someone is clamoring to divide the family—how laughable."
Madam Liang gritted her teeth, knowing these words held truth. Were it not for fear of damaging their reputation, she would have made an even bigger scene.
Seeing this, Hualan laughed loudly and said, "Then it's settled. Since Madam Liang has spoken, those who wish to live independently may leave the family, while those unwilling to divide may stay. Though brothers are dear, each may follow their own path. Let us part on good terms."
Pausing briefly, she wiped the smile from her face and said coldly, "No one here fears trouble, but we value face and hope for family harmony. I advise you, Madam Liang, to know when to stop while you're ahead."
Second Madam Liang, now full of confidence, straightened her back slightly and spoke with refined courtesy, "Eldest Sister-in-law, since the third and fourth brothers have no intention of splitting, you may do as you please." Ever since her husband inherited the title, she had endured no small amount of condescension from her elder sister-in-law.
Madam Liang remained silent, her face dark. A woman beside her stepped forward with a smile and said, "We're all family, and words spoken in haste can lead to misunderstandings. Truly, Madam Liang has no ulterior motives—it's just that the children are grown, and it's time for them to start their own households."
After smoothing things over with a few lighthearted remarks, she added, "...If we are to divide the family, how does Madam intend to distribute the assets?"
Madam Liang replied without hesitation, "The ancestral fields cannot be touched, nor the perpetual estate. The fifth daughter is yet unmarried, so a dowry must be set aside for her. The remainder will be divided equally into four shares, one for each family."
Madam Liang sprang up again, her voice shrill, "That won't do! The row of shops on Huaixi Street, the two silver workshops, and the two manors bought four years ago—Father clearly said these were assets meant for us. How can they be counted as part of the common property?"
"If they were acquired four years ago, why did the late master delay handing them over to you?" Madam Liang asked.
Madam Liang clenched her lips tightly, her fingers twisting her handkerchief incessantly.
Madam Liang fixed her gaze on her and said, word by word, "In times of prosperity, it wasn't apparent, and the master was fond of you all. But the moment difficulties arose, as the eldest son and his wife, you refused to shoulder even the slightest responsibility. Whether the family faced floods or your parents and brothers were in distress, you cared only for your own well-being, ignoring all else! It was after realizing this that the master reclaimed those assets and instructed me to divide them equally."
Madam Liang's face tightened and turned pale. After a moment, she suddenly threw herself across her knees and burst into loud sobs. "Among the four brothers, only my husband has been struggling and risking his life outside. What can we do? A son born of a concubine has no easy path—he must fight through blood and fire to make a living! He brought glory to the family, honored his father and brothers, and amassed great wealth. Yet pitifully, just over thirty, he is already covered in wounds. His legs ache in the cold, the abscess on his back splits open in the heat, and old injuries flare up on rainy days—there isn't a single part of him that's whole!"
Weeping bitterly, she stamped her feet and beat her chest, crying, "The second brother is fortunate, spending his days reading and admiring flowers, living leisurely and inheriting the ancestral title. The third and fourth brothers also live comfortably at home, shielded by their eldest brother's efforts outside, so no one dares look down on them..."
Madam Liang grew furious upon hearing this. "No matter how much you say, you're simply afraid your brothers might benefit from your gains. Rest assured, even if we face great calamity, we have relatives we can rely on. We'd sooner beg for food than come to your door!"Hearing the word "relatives," Madam Liang felt a jolt of alarm. Although aside from her own husband, the remaining three Liang sons were merely decorative—good for show but lacking substance—she couldn't ignore the fact that from her mother-in-law to her two sisters-in-law, each was backed by powerful marital connections.
As these thoughts crossed her mind, she looked up and saw Minglan smiling at her, causing her to shrink back nervously.
A noblewoman seated behind Madam Liang snorted coldly, "Hmph! So the eldest son of the Liang family was born with innate talent, raised and educated by no one, emerging from the womb fully skilled—a reincarnation of the Martial Star, no less!"
Madam Liang fell silent, lowering her eyes to conceal their resentment.
By this point, Minglan had grown thoroughly bored.
It was understandable that a capable elder brother wouldn't want to be dragged down by incompetent younger siblings and wished to be self-reliant. The eldest Liang couple, relying on the weakness of the legitimate branch and the strength of the secondary one, had planned this family division. With the old master deceased, the proud legitimate mother, and only minimal support from friends and relatives, their chances of success had initially seemed high. Unfortunately, they overlooked one thing: even a broken ship still has three pounds of nails.
No matter how incompetent the brothers or how arrogant the legitimate mother, the marital alliances of an established family could not be underestimated. Behind Madam Liang and Second Madam Liang alone stood a Governor-General of Liangguang, a Vice Minister of Revenue, and two prestigious clans known for producing influential officials—and this didn't even include the Sheng, Gu, and Yuan families.
No matter how capable the eldest son of the Liang family was, he couldn't afford to offend all these people at once.
Perhaps sensing Minglan's boredom, the fetus kicked heavily twice. Caught off guard, Minglan let out a soft "ah," frowning as she pressed a hand to her abdomen. Madam Liang noticed and asked urgently, "Is something wrong?"
Minglan slowly stroked her belly and smiled. "It's nothing. I've probably been sitting too long."
Knowing it wouldn't be appropriate to send Minglan home immediately, Madam Liang turned to Molan and said, "The rooms at the back here are quite peaceful. Accompany your younger sister to rest awhile. We can discuss other matters after she's recovered."
Molan responded meekly, bowing her head as she moved to assist Minglan. Xiaotao, who was attending nearby, cleverly stepped in first, subtly positioning herself between them. Supporting Minglan, she said with a guileless smile, "Fourth Young Lady, please lead the way."
Molan glanced at the mistress and maid, then moved with graceful steps toward the rear. Minglan and Xiaotao followed. Just before leaving the side hall, they overheard Second Madam Liang's mother speaking slowly, her voice aged and firm: "If you wish to divide the family, just say so. Why drag in talk of the legitimate mother being harsh? It only reveals pettiness. The family fortune left by your father-in-law is ample even when divided. As juniors, you should take a long-term view and leave room for maneuver in all things..."
Minglan nodded inwardly, thinking this blend of persuasion and threat was truly masterful.
Passing around a large rosewood screen painted with glass-enameled peonies and ruyi patterns, and turning two corners, they arrived at an elegant, spacious side room. A daybed was set against the wall, with tables and chairs by the window, and a large round ruyi table in the center.
Xiaotao helped Minglan recline on the soft daybed, bent to remove her shoes, and lifted her legs onto the bed, murmuring, "They're swollen again." She began gently massaging them, and Minglan sighed contentedly, her sore calves easing into comfort.
Molan sat opposite Minglan, watching as Liang family maids served hot tea and pastries before withdrawing. Through the open lattice of the charcoal stove, faint sounds of argument drifted from the front hall with the airflow.
She cast a faint glance at Xiaotao, who refused to leave, then looked at Minglan. Minglan was already watching her. The room was so quiet one could hear a pin drop.They knew each other far too well. Mo Lan's attempts at playing the delicate victim were useless, just as Ming Lan's pretense of simple honesty was equally futile.
They had fought, quarreled, clashed head-on, and schemed against each other. By now, even if they didn't know exactly how many twists and turns lay in the other's guts, they at least knew their shape and color.
Mo Lan let out a light laugh. "Brother-in-law is away again. Sixth Sister must be feeling lonely? Ah, I do hope he returns safely."
Ming Lan cradled her warming cup, ignoring the remark, and said leisurely, "I heard that after the Old Marquis passed away, Aunt Liang took it upon herself to dismiss several girls from your courtyard."
Mo Lan's expression darkened, but she couldn't help defending herself. "My husband is observing three years of mourning. It wouldn't be right to hold those young women back."
"—I see." Ming Lan smiled.
Seeing her younger sister's expression, Mo Lan grew even more resentful. Her mother-in-law had made her dissatisfaction clear, both overtly and covertly. Whenever the Gu family was mentioned, she would always praise, "Someone like the Marquess of Gu's wife is truly a blessed woman who brings prosperity to her husband and benefits her children."
"Do you all..." Mo Lan bit her lip, "think I'm useless and incompetent?"
Ming Lan smiled cheerfully. "In terms of children, prospects, and marital affection—compare yourself to Eldest Sister, Fifth Sister, and me, Fourth Sister."
Mo Lan's eyes filled with resentment. She stood and took a few steps toward Ming Lan. Xiaotao immediately jumped up, blocking the soft couch, and declared loudly, "Fourth Young Lady, if you come within three steps of our young lady, this servant will have to be rude!"
Xiaotao had always been robust, and in recent years, she had learned some martial arts from Gu Quan and others. Taking down a woman from the inner quarters was no challenge for her.
Mo Lan glared. "How dare you?!"
Xiaotao stared right back. "Fourth Young Lady, I still remember the year you tried to slash our young lady's face with broken porcelain. Mama Fang said that if it happens again, I should aim for Fourth Young Lady's face without holding back!"
Mo Lan staggered in anger. Knowing Xiaotao was straightforward and unyielding, and seeing her sturdy, agile figure, she had no choice but to retreat to her chair. Slapping the armrest in frustration, she muttered bitterly, "I've had bad luck since I was a child, and now you all mock me for it."
Ming Lan straightened slightly and chuckled. "Since we were young, Sister, whenever something goes wrong, you always blame others. You blame Father for not loving you enough, Grandmother for being biased, or your sisters for getting in your way. This habit hasn't changed even now. This marriage was something you schemed for yourself, with no one else to blame, so you attribute it to luck. Why don't you consider that perhaps all of this is your own fault?"
Mo Lan slammed the table in fury, veins bulging on her forehead, and shouted, "What fault of mine?! Should I have just sat back and watched all of you climb to higher branches while I waited for death?"
Ming Lan remained completely unmoved and said calmly, "You've been wrong ever since Consort Lin taught you not to 'sit and wait for death.'"
"You...!" Mo Lan was beside herself with rage.
Ming Lan said indifferently, "I can guess what Consort Lin taught you, judging by your current behavior. It's nothing more than fighting for favor, competing for attention, managing concubines, tightly controlling your husband, dividing affections, sowing discord, and flattering..."
She let out a soft laugh. "To be honest, it's no wonder Aunt Liang is dissatisfied with you. What status does Consort Lin hold, and what status do you hold? A proper wife, yet you imitate the ways of a concubine, thinking you can rely on these underhanded tricks to secure your position and livelihood."Molann's fingers dug tightly into the table as she rasped, "Don't speak of my mother like that! She has suffered enough already!" Her mind flashed back to her recent visit to the estate where her birth mother resided - the once beautiful and elegant Consort Lin had now become a coarse, ill-tempered old woman.
"Who else is there to teach me? If I don't listen to her, if I don't trust her, what else can I do?!"
Minglan looked at her and shook her head. "Kong Momo, Grandmother, even Father often lectured us sisters, yet you never took any of it to heart. You say you have bad luck? Then what about Eldest Sister? Has Aunt Liang ever schemed against her dowry? Has she forced servants into your sister's chambers? Has she ever mistreated or bullied your sister's children? Oh... I forgot, Fourth Sister hasn't yet borne any children."
Molan was filled with resentment and frustration, momentarily feeling disheartened and defeated, as if her entire life held no hope. She wanted to claw Minglan's face, but her body seemed frozen, unable to move. She could only glare at Minglan with venomous hatred.
"Eldest Brother-in-Law once said that Fourth Brother-in-Law is not a ne'er-do-well. He's merely young, fond of amusement, soft-hearted, and easily swayed, but fundamentally not bad. If properly supervised and encouraged, he could achieve something."
Recalling Hualan's words, Minglan spoke softly, "Even though Fourth Brother-in-Law initially favored Consort Chun, if you had reasoned with him, earnestly urged him to strive for advancement, and reprimanded Consort Chun for her unreasonable behavior, wouldn't Aunt Liang have been overjoyed? Would she not have supported you? In this regard, you could have employed more tact—how could Fourth Brother-in-Law not listen?"
"But instead of taking the right path, you chose crooked means. To compete with the concubine for favor, you constantly provided your husband with beautiful bedroom servants to divide his affections, turning the household into chaos. Over these years, Eldest Brother-in-Law has multiplied Eldest Sister's dowry many times over, but what about Fourth Brother-in-Law? Since marrying you, he has made no progress in his official career for years! I ask you, if something were to happen to Aunt Liang one day and you had to establish your own household, could Fourth Brother-in-Law support the family?"
Minglan took a deep breath and said profoundly, "If I were a mother, watching my once-teachable son lose all ambition because his wife led him astray, spending his days frolicking among flowers, how could I possibly like that daughter-in-law?"
In terms of urging one's husband to work hard and strive, Madam Liu was a textbook example.
Clap, clap, clap—loud applause rang out.
Molan sneered as she clapped, exclaiming loudly, "Well said! Truly well said! As expected of a first-rank lady, your words are so persuasive that your worthless sister here wishes she could dash her head against a wall and be reborn! Now that you've risen to greatness, little sister, don't just mock—why not lend me a hand?"
Gazing at her twisted, intense face, Minglan remained silent for a long while before suddenly saying, "Fifth Sister has accompanied her husband to his external post, yet you've never asked where they went."
Molan snorted disdainfully. "Who cares about some remote, insignificant backwater? A petty official's post!"
"...It's Quanzhou," Minglan said softly. "Where Father took us to live years ago. Fifth Brother-in-law secured the position himself through his own capabilities; Father merely gave the final push."
After saying this, Minglan let out a long sigh and said, "I've rested enough. I'll take my leave now. There's no need to see me out, Fourth Sister. Let us part here." With that, she stepped off the bed and slipped on her shoes.
Outside, Xiaotao supported her firmly, muttering, "Miss, you're too kind. Fourth Young Mistress doesn't deserve it! She takes your well-intentioned advice as mockery!"Minglan ruffled Xiaotao's bangs and smiled gently. "Silly girl, sometimes we must do what we 'ought' to do, not what we 'need' to do." Consider it a good deed for Madam Liang, who had treated her quite decently.
...
Mo Lan remained seated in the chair as if drained of strength, her mind a complete blank—
Quanzhou, what a wonderful place it was.
The air was moist and warm, with shimmering green ponds everywhere reflecting the pale blue clarity of the sky. Amid the fragrance of fish and rice paddies, drifted the innocent songs of children, along with exotic goods shipped from across the seas...
Those were her most beautiful days.
Back then, she was her father's most beloved daughter, and her birth mother Lady Lin was so respectable. Whether going out for excursions or receiving guests, which lady or madam didn't praise her for being beautiful and clever, even more dignified than those two legitimate-born sisters.
Quanzhou, Quanzhou, Wen Yanjing, her father's arrangements... originally, all these should have been hers.
For a moment, her heart filled with profound melancholy and loss.