Chapter 85: Chapter 85 (Revised) "Would You Marry Me?"
Wen Yu was slightly startled and asked, "What are you doing here?"
"Surely I can't just be carelessly betrothed by you, can I?"
Xiao Li stepped out from the shadows. Moonlight filtered through the mottled tree branches, casting patterns on him. The lake breeze tousled the stray hairs on his forehead, and his handsome features were bathed in the cold white moonlight, making his eyes appear even sharper and more profound, though the corners of his eyes were tinged with the faint red of drunkenness.
His gaze felt like hooks, darkly fixed on Wen Yu.
Wen Yu caught the scent of alcohol carried by the wind and frowned slightly. "Are you drunk?"
"Perhaps." Xiao Li's voice was deep. As if the alcohol had made him forget his usual decorum, he strode toward Wen Yu.
Wen Yu watched him approach calmly, not making the slightest move to avoid him.
Xiao Li stopped just a step away from her, leaning slightly forward. His brow was furrowed with displeasure as he stared intently at Wen Yu's flawless face under the moonlight, his breath carrying the scent of wine. "Why did you arrange a marriage for me?His height gave him an absolute advantage, intensifying the sense of oppression he exuded. His eyes, fixed on Wen Yu, were as dark as obsidian.
Wen Yu turned her face slightly to avoid his wine-laden breath. "Lord Chen intends to take you as his son-in-law. With the Chen family's support, your path forward would be smoother..."
"Do you think I care?" Xiao Li interrupted, his dark lashes lowering, a cold sneer playing on his lips.
Seeing his barely concealed anger, Wen Yu slightly furrowed her brows, though her gaze remained as calm as ever. "The Chen family expressed their intention and sought my approval. Since it benefits you, I had no reason to refuse on your behalf. I only said it depends entirely on your willingness. Can that really be considered arranging a marriage?"
Hearing this, the pent-up frustration that had been simmering in Xiao Li's chest since before the banquet finally dissipated somewhat. However, his expression remained gloomy as he retorted with a sarcastic laugh, "Haven't you already decided for me by having me stay in Pingzhou?"
Wen Yu looked at the young man's cold yet handsome features and fell silent for a moment. "From the very beginning when I kept you by my side, I said I would settle you in Pingzhou."
Xiao Li took a step closer, his tall frame almost completely enveloping her, his voice low and sharp. "I never agreed."
This distance was too close, but Wen Yu did not retreat.
Their gazes locked, like two hunters facing off, as if they might tear into each other the next instant.
Yet they remained in a stalemate, neither moving.
Xiao Li studied the excessively beautiful and excessively indifferent face before him, feeling as though his chest were flooded with magma, burning and painful. He swallowed lightly. "What I said back then was that I would decide after reaching Pingzhou."
Wen Yu remained silent.
Her silence at this moment felt more like a silent confrontation.
Xiao Li's hand, hanging at his side, unconsciously clenched into a fist, his voice strained. "Why did you remove me from the Accompanying the bride candidates?"
The moon had reached its zenith, and the croaking of frogs in the lotus pond rose and fell in succession.
Wen Yu had been eerily calm from start to finish. Even now, faced with his questioning, she merely raised her eyes and said, "Because I don't think General Xiao is a suitable candidate.""
The moment the words "General Xiao" left her lips, a sense of distance immediately manifested.
This reason almost became the final straw that broke Xiao Li's rationality. He seemed to laugh in anger, the drunken red at the corners of his eyes appearing strikingly beautiful under the moonlight. Following her lead, he changed his address: "May I ask, Princess, in what way is this humble general unsuitable?"
Wen Yu met his gaze calmly. "General Xiao's actions tonight are unsuitable in every way."
The distance between them was less than half a foot. If not for the tense atmosphere, this proximity would already be considered highly ambiguous.
Hearing Wen Yu's response, Xiao Li turned his face away and laughed softly.
All his resentment and anger screamed in his heart, fueled by the strong liquor, burning away what little rationality remained.
He suddenly took another step forward, closing in on Wen Yu.
Sensing danger, Wen Yu instinctively stepped back but forgot they were at a corner in the lakeside rockery. As her back pressed against the rock, Xiao Li braced his arms, trapping her between his chest and the rock. Instantly, his hot, wine-scented breath enveloped her completely.
Wen Yu's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't expected him to be so bold. Her voice lowered slightly as she rebuked him, "Xiao Li!"
Xiao Li studied her face, which remained stunningly beautiful even in concealed anger. Beneath his wine-flushed dark eyes lay a startling possessiveness. He asked softly, "Princess, was the decision to remove me made after tonight?"
It had been a long time since Wen Yu had felt so constrained. Like prey forced into a trap, her chest heaved from the shock, though her face maintained its usual composure. "You have overstepped."
He was too close. Her nostrils were filled with the cold, subtle fragrance of her scent.
Xiao Li struggled to restrain the urge to bury his face in the crook of her neck and breathe in her scent deeply. He said self-mockingly, "Even when I follow the rules, doesn't the Princess still summon and dismiss me at will?"
Wen Yu felt his hot, slightly heavy breath against her neck. The exposed skin there trembled uncontrollably, raising fine goosebumps. She turned her face away and said coldly, "You're drunk. Step aside. I'll pretend tonight never happened."
But Xiao Li said, "I'm not drunk."
The red in his eyes deepened. I have never been more awake than I am now."
"Wen Yu, to you, have I always been just an object? When I'm useful, I can stay by your side. When I'm no longer needed, do I have to roll far away?"
Wen Yu's heart twisted painfully. Meeting Xiao Li's gaze filled with hidden pain, she said, "There are so many officials remaining in Pingzhou and Tao County while I go to Southern Chen. By your logic, are they all objects too?"
Xiao Li stared at her fiercely. "If you truly made this decision for the greater good, I would have nothing to say. But since Lord Li personally recommended me, yet you want me to stay in Pingzhou, I am not convinced!"
Wen Yu fell silent for a long while. Her still, deathly calm eyes were barren.
The wind rustled the edges of their brushing robes and blew a stray lock of hair from her temple across Xiao Li's cheek. She countered, "Have you accompany the bride to Southern Chen, and then what? Will you guard Southern Chen for a lifetime?"
His hidden, unspoken, yet long mutually understood feelings for her were finally laid bare by this question.
Xiao Li was momentarily speechless. All his anger and resentment seemed to drain away under her questioning.
That's right. Even if he went to Southern Chen to accompany the bride, what would happen after the bridal escort was complete?
He would still have to return.
Even if he chose to stay in Southern Chen for a lifetime, what would that change?
Watching her become King Chen's consort, then watching her and King Chen raise children, becoming a celebrated tale among the people?
Just thinking about these things made the hostility growing in Xiao Li's heart almost drive him mad.
He took a step back, feeling as though he had returned to that snowy night when Xiao Huiniang died. A vast, blank snowstorm seemed to fall in his heart, obscuring the path ahead, leaving him like a stray dog with no home.
He knew all his pain stemmed from that vain and greedy thought in his heart.
—He wanted to have her.
To possess the brightest pearl of Great Liang.
He had tried his utmost to become stronger, but she wouldn't wait until the day his fangs were sharp enough to tear all his powerful enemies apart.
Unable to obtain, unwilling to let go, unwilling to accept—all that remained for him was the daily increasing torment.
Sometimes he even thought, if only she weren't the Princess of Great Liang.
If she were just a girl from an ordinary wealthy family, he could have a thousand, ten thousand ways to marry her gloriously and bring her home.
But in this world, there are no 'if only's.
Wen Yu saw the barely concealed embarrassment in Xiao Li at this moment. For an instant, her own gaze held hidden pain, but it was quickly masked by calmness. She took a slightly deeper breath and said, "Ultimately, I am the one who has wronged you. I knew you stayed in Pingzhou not out of loyalty to me..."
Xiao Li knew too well what her words meant. His eyes filled with hatred, and he immediately interrupted her, his voice hoarse and low: "This humble general is fearful, unworthy of the Princess's words of disloyalty.""
Wen Yu's remaining words were stuck in her throat.
After he stepped back, he stood precisely in the shadow under the tree, with his back to the moonlight. Wen Yu could no longer see his eyes clearly. She simply said, "You know what I mean."This humble general is foolish, I do not know.""
As if by denying it, she would not continue down that path.
A sour, lingering bitterness suddenly rose in Wen Yu's chest. When she spoke again, her voice held a slight hoarseness: "If you truly didn't know, you wouldn't be here tonight."
Xiao Li did not respond.
Wen Yu said, "Some things ultimately need an answer. They don't cease to exist just because we keep avoiding them."
She too had once thought that by avoiding, by remaining silent, she could pretend nothing had happened.
But that was just her self-righteous, self-deceiving thinking.
Every time she saw the look in Xiao Li's eyes, she was acutely aware that she was using his affection for her to bind him.
That wolf had put on a spiked collar, bowing its head to her as its master. She held the leash he had handed her, yet she would not choose him.
It wasn't fair.
Having reached this point, Xiao Li could no longer play deaf and dumb. His breath trembled in the darkness. He seemed to laugh, but it was hard to tell whether his words held more sarcasm or self-mockery: "So, is the Princess driving me away again?"
Hearing that word "again," Wen Yu recalled the life-and-death experiences they had shared. It felt as though a cotton thorn had pierced her heart, bringing a nearly paralyzing pain.
She said, "Your coming and going was never something I could decide. All I can do is point out the right path when you're unable to make the correct choice. With your current reputation and abilities, you would be welcomed as an honored guest anywhere you go. If you are willing to continue staying in Pingzhou in the future, I would be immensely grateful. But I hope that any decision you make is for your own future and aspirations, not swayed by personal feelings for your children. To me, you will always be my benefactor, my friend, my family."
For a long moment, Xiao Li said nothing.
In the empty night, only the croaking of frogs from the nearby lotus pond could be heard.
Wen Yu turned her head and gazed quietly for a long time at the pavilion in the distance, where wind lanterns swayed. Finally, she said, "The night is deep. This Princess shall take her leave. General Xiao should also return early to rest."
After she had taken a few steps, she suddenly heard Xiao Li's hoarse call from behind: "Wen Yu."
Wen Yu did not turn around, but she halted her steps.
The night breeze carried Xiao Li's low and hoarse voice: "If not for this disaster to the mountains and rivers, if I had become a general and went to the Prince's residence to propose marriage, would you marry me?""
The lake wind was too cold, suddenly making Wen Yu's eyes ache terribly.
Author's Note:
I am very sorry. Many things have happened in my real life. To reach the climax point of the later setting, the writer's block has also been very severe. I've collapsed many times while writing this book, often doubting myself, wondering if all my past inspiration has been used up, or if frequent late nights have fried my brain, leading to such difficulty in writing now. From the start until now, it's still this blocked.
Many times I feel like I've forgotten how to write. Every chapter gets stuck for a long time, requiring countless deletions and revisions before I dare publish it. I'm sorry for making everyone wait so long. I know my condition is very poor, but I truly hope every reader can happily read my book.
For this book, perhaps it's better if you save it up to read later. Saying sorry ten thousand times isn't enough to express my apology. I've tried many times to stabilize updates, but every time I save up some drafts, it gets disrupted by the endless, boundless writer's block. I've caused a poor reading experience for everyone, so I can only apologize again.
I deeply regret not starting this book earlier, when my own condition was better. If I had written it then, perhaps the reading experience for everyone would have been much better. In the past, pulling all-nighters could produce writing. Now, often after an all-nighter, looking at what I've written, I don't even know what it is. Even now, typing these author's notes, I feel the sentence structure is very chaotic.
Truly sorry, I cannot promise stable updates to everyone anymore. I can only assure you that I will write this story very seriously and responsibly. I really like Little Fish (Wen Yu) and Xiao Li. This is the most challenging story and CP I've written so far. If I don't put forth my greatest effort to write out their grand lives vividly, I would be letting them down, and also letting down all of you who have been following along.
Thank you for everyone's waiting and companionship, and thank you for your tolerance and support. Bow.jpg
There's still too much apology I don't know how to express. I'll send everyone a small red packet~
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