Chapter 57
"The Southern Chen envoy for the wedding procession is already on the road..."
Li Xun arranged for Fan Yuan and the group of soldiers to rest briefly in a small meditation courtyard.
When Xiao Li arrived, Li Xun said, "The Princess seems to have matters to discuss with Xiao Yishi. Please proceed to the side hall's meditation chamber."
Xiao Li's mind was in turmoil, uncertain why Wen Yu sought him.
The soldiers' earlier words had made him feel as if the fangs of the beast in his chest were about to pierce through, jealousy and dark thoughts flooding his mind. Only the taut thread of reason prevented others from noticing his abnormal state.
Hearing this, he merely gave a cool nod.
Wen Yu was organizing her belongings from her stay at the temple when knocking came from the chamber door. She calmly said, "Enter."
Xiao Li pushed open the door to find her arranging sutras on the bookshelf. Her wide golden-orange spring sleeves had slipped to her elbows as she reached for books, revealing jade-like arms.
With lowered eyes, she carefully examined the sutra in her hand. In an adjacent empty shelf sat a pot of udumbara flowers, their white blossoms hanging from trailing vines. In the dim chamber, she appeared like a painting come to life.
Xiao Li glanced briefly before averting his gaze amid pounding heartbeats, uncertain how to address her. "You needed me?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm.
Wen Yu looked up to see him coldly avoiding eye contact. She frowned slightly. "Are you still resentful that I made decisions for you?"
Xiao Li said, "No."
Wen Yu raised the sutra to place it on the shelf, her sleeve sliding further down. The mountain-built temple had designed this side chamber with rock walls for Zen ambiance, the bookshelf positioned in a dark corner where higher shelves became illegible.
With many borrowed books still to reshelve, she told Xiao Li, "Bring me a lamp."
Xiao Li retrieved a bronze lamp from the table, lit it with tinder, and brought it to the bookshelf.
Standing a step behind Wen Yu, he caught faint scents of sandalwood ash from the temple halls and an indescribable cool fragrance like moonlit lotus ponds - whether from her or the nearby flowers, he couldn't tell.
By the lamp's yellow glow, Wen Yu methodically returned books to their places, calmly explaining to the lamp-bearer behind her: "Having you accompany General Fan to intercept the official silver will establish your merits before reaching Pingzhou. This will help you gain footing there quickly. When you join Pingzhou's military camp later, your connection with General Fan will provide support."
Pausing slightly, she glanced back at him. Her usually gentle eyes, accentuated by rouge at the corners, now held an unconsciously alluring loftiness. "Do you understand?"Xiao Li felt a growing warmth from the oil lamp in his hand, or perhaps it was the narrowness of the space. That faint, indescribable fragrance drifted persistently into his nostrils, and a fine layer of sweat gradually dampened his palms.
When he met Wen Yu’s gaze, it felt as though a hook had precisely caught the tingling strings of his heart.
The sweat in his palms intensified. His fingers, gripping the bronze lamp handle, loosened slightly before tightening again. Under Wen Yu’s watchful eyes, he forced himself to maintain a cold, stern expression and nodded.
Wen Yu turned back to continue shelving the books, saying, "When power is involved, many things become complicated. Loyalty is precious, but loyalty alone cannot gather a strong enough force. That is why the art of balance exists. Initially, I did not want you to wade into these troubled waters. I only intended to let you live out your days in peace on a farmstead after we found our old comrades. But the world has grown so harsh—even former nobles and royals have lives as cheap as grass amid the chaos of war, let alone commoners. If the world remains unsettled, no place will be safe from the flames of conflict forever."
Her eyes dimmed slightly as she recalled the scenes of a ravaged land she had witnessed along the way. "The path you take should be your own choice…"
The scripture in her hand needed to be placed on the top shelf. As Wen Yu reached up, she could only rest a small corner of the book on the ledge, leaving much of her snow-white arm exposed beneath her wide sleeve.
Realizing the impropriety, she was about to withdraw her hand when the person behind her stepped forward. His long arm reached up, the rough fabric of his arrow-sleeve brushing against the skin of her arm. His well-defined fingers settled on the spine of the book and pushed it fully into the shelf.
A shiver ran down Wen Yu’s arm at the touch of the fabric. Startled by the sudden movement, she instinctively turned around, only to find that the person behind her had not yet stepped back. His tall frame stood like an iron wall, trapping her between his chest and the bookshelf pressed against the stone wall.
A breeze from the window extinguished the bronze lamp in his hand, plunging the meditation room into darkness.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she finally sensed that something was amiss.
In the gloom, neither spoke, as if locked in a silent standoff. The ambiguity born of their mingled breaths spread and thickened in the stillness.
His breathing was heavy. Just sharing the same air in that confined space made Wen Yu slowly feel the heat as well.
One of her hands still braced against the shelf behind her. The sensation of being cornered and watched by a predator stirred a primal sense of danger, causing her to lean back unconsciously. Her exposed snow-white neck, adorned with stray strands of hair, accidentally brushed against a white night-blooming cereus. The coolness of the petals made her tilt her head slightly, and she shuddered uncontrollably.
In the darkness, Wen Yu could not make out the expression on Xiao Li’s face. He lowered his gaze, taking in every subtle shift of emotion on her delicate features.
His eyes swept over her slightly parted crimson lips, stunned, then drifted to her neck, pale and nearly translucent, trembling with each breath. A searing heat, like molten lava, simmered in his dark eyes. Beads of sweat formed on the tip of his nose. He clenched the solid bronze Buddhist lamp handle so tightly it deformed, forcing himself to reclaim a shred of rationality. "I know perfectly well what path I should take," he said.
Then he stepped back.
The invisible pressure and stifling heat receded in an instant. Wen Yu felt as though she could breathe freely again.She still leaned against the bookcase, her long lashes lowered as she avoided looking at him, seemingly unaware of how they had suddenly fallen into such an awkward atmosphere. After calming her breathing slightly, she said, "That's good then. I have nothing more to attend to here. You may go back."
Xiao Li had not yet moved when the voice of a young novice monk came from outside the courtyard: "Is the female benefactor present? The abbot has prepared a humble gift upon hearing of your departure from the mountain."
Wen Yu glanced outward and responded, "I am here," using the opportunity to step out first.
Listening to the conversation outside, Xiao Li lifted his gaze to the white night-blooming cereus that had earlier brushed against Wen Yu’s neck. He reached out, plucked it, crushed it in his hand, and swallowed it. Then, supporting himself on the rear window, he climbed out and left.
When Wen Yu returned to her room with the gift from the abbot of Bodhi Temple, she found the room empty, with only the rear window left wide open.
She breathed a slight sigh of relief, set down the abbot’s gift, and lightly furrowed her brows as she glanced toward the bookcase again. What began as a casual scan revealed that one of the night-blooming cereus flowers had been broken off, its bare stem hanging conspicuously.
Wen Yu froze. Realizing what had happened, whether from hidden irritation or some other emotion, her cheeks suddenly grew warm.
Then, her brows furrowed even more tightly, seized by a deeper sense of dread and worry.
Xiao Li’s feelings for her were now as blatantly exposed as the broken stem of the night-blooming cereus.
He… must not like her.
Even if he did, it had to remain buried deep in his heart.
Throughout their journey south, aside from that one night in the cave, he had kept his emotions well restrained. What had happened now?
Wen Yu raised a hand to her temple.
They were about to enter Pingzhou. If anyone were to notice his behavior, it would only bring disaster upon him.
The old ministers of Great Liang would never tolerate even a hint of improper thoughts from him toward her.
Although her marriage to Southern Chen was merely a political alliance, if King Chen found out, he would surely not spare Xiao Li’s life.
This was one of the reasons she had initially hoped Xiao Li would remain in Pingzhou.
If he stayed in Pingzhou, with time, he might forget her and begin his own life.
But if he followed her to Southern Chen, not only would it be perilous, but she could not reciprocate his feelings in the slightest—it would only hold him back.
After a moment of brief contemplation, Wen Yu lowered her gaze to the wooden carp pendant still hanging inappropriately at her waist and untied it.
Perhaps it was because they had relied on each other for survival for so long during their escape that boundaries had blurred, leading to the current situation.
But everything had to return to the way it should be.
Sometimes, her soft-heartedness only harmed him.
—
Over the two days traveling to the main city of Pingzhou, Wen Yu no longer summoned Xiao Li for tasks. Instead, she consulted Li Xun for matters, who then relayed instructions to the others.
While others had yet to notice her subtle distancing, Xiao Li had clearly sensed it.
He assumed she was upset about his boldness at the temple and, aware that he had acted impulsively then, silently accepted her arrangements.
They had recruited nearly five hundred soldiers from among the refugees. When they had led this group to raid the magistrate of Tongcheng County, Zhao Youcai and his men had initially thought Xiao Li had switched allegiances to a new master. Learning that they were now aligned with Pingzhou—a far wealthier and more powerful region than Tongcheng—they, having joined the army mainly for sustenance, followed him without question.After several skirmishes with pursuing troops along the way, some managed to escape, but those who remained had all witnessed Xiao Li's martial prowess and now followed his lead unquestioningly. Although Wen Yu had put Fan Yuan in charge of all the soldiers, Fan Yuan understood his place well—he only taught them military regulations and never overstepped by interfering with Wen Yu's authority.
Over the course of their journey, Xiao Li had thoroughly tamed this group of refugee recruits.
Zhao Youcai, with his sharp tongue and quick wit, had been calling the regular troops from Pingzhou "brothers" while cleverly extracting general information about the Pingzhou Military Camp and Pingzhou City. He would then scurry back to whisper these details in Xiao Li's ear, seeking favor.
After piecing together this intelligence, Xiao Li realized that even within Pingzhou City, undercurrents of unrest were stirring. Though Wen Yu was angry and unwilling to engage with him, he thought he could approach her to discuss these serious matters, using it as an opportunity to mend their relationship.
Since accompanying officials like Li Xun and Fan Yuan had already accepted him as Wen Yu's trusted aide, no one stopped him when he approached her carriage—even as Li Xun stood beside it, bowing his head and speaking with Wen Yu.
Thus, Li Xun's words—"The envoy from Southern Chen to escort the bride is already on the road and should arrive in Pingzhou within a few days"—fell clearly into Xiao Li's ears.
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