Chapter 54: “I Let You Go.”
The wind howled fiercely, driving fine rain through the eaves and dampening the doorsteps and wooden windows.
Wen Yu stood half-turned in the slanting wind and drizzle, her gown clinging tightly to her full, graceful figure. Her sash and long hair fluttered in the wind, her profile as luminous as the moon, yet her eyes when she looked at Xiao Li were dark and unfathomable, concealing any trace of emotion.
She seemed to pause briefly before speaking. “The emblem on the banner is a slightly modified version of the secret insignia of Changlian Wang’s residence. Only the death warriors and some of my father’s old followers would recognize it. Those who have come might be former subordinates who, knowing I headed south after the Fengyang Rebellion, set out for Pingzhou ahead of time.”
“But we can’t be entirely certain. Let Zhao Youcai keep a covert watch first and see if we can determine how many of them have arrived.”
Xiao Li wiped the rainwater from his face with a cloth and asked, “How do we test their identities?”
Wen Yu glanced at his still-dripping hair and replied, “These matters require careful planning. Change your clothes first.”
Her skirt brushed lightly over the doorstep as she closed the door and went downstairs.
Xiao Li roughly wiped the rain from the back of his neck with the cloth, pondering her words.
Since witnessing Wen Yu’s strategic maneuvers in Xinzhou, he had come to see her as a distant mountain shrouded in thick fog—no matter how hard he looked, he could never see her clearly. Her erudition and intelligence far exceeded his understanding. Many things only made sense to him after she explained them. But even what she left unsaid, he yearned to comprehend.
Once she reunited with her old followers, he would no longer be the only one by her side.
This thought inexplicably agitated him. As he stripped off his wet clothes, he used too much force, and a sharp pain shot through his arm. He glanced at the bloodstained, rain-soaked bandage on his right arm and tore it off. The waterlogged wound gaped pale and gruesome, edged with faint scab marks—clearly, it had reopened multiple times. Yet he seemed indifferent to the pain, casually wiping the moisture from his body before sprinkling medicine on the injury and wrapping it with a fresh strip of gauze.
—
Wen Yu walked along the wooden corridor in the drifting drizzle, gazing distractedly at the distant gray-tiled, white-walled houses veiled in misty rain.
Some things, she supposed, she would never let Xiao Li know.
For instance, that he was more worthy of her trust than the old followers who had sought her out.
The annihilated Wen clan could only attract followers driven by loyalty or shared interests. But loyalty was a precarious thing to rely on.
With the fall of the Wen family and her bloodline tracing back to the old Liang royal house, she was now the hunted deer. Every step forward would be like treading on thin ice. Even if all her father’s former subordinates were utterly loyal, she could not recklessly meet them until their identities were verified.
She was their hope for restoring the kingdom. In the future, she would lead them back to Daliang and ascend to the throne. From that position of authority, she must shed all traces of vulnerability and composure, becoming a ruler they could submit to.
Only, she wondered if Xiao Li… would still follow her then.
Thoughts of him stirred a tumult of complex emotions within her.
From a practical standpoint, with his martial prowess, she ought to recruit him. Yet she knew his presence by her side was not for fame or fortune.On a personal level, having weathered so many life-and-death situations, he was both her savior and a friend. She wished to keep someone like him by her side, but dragging him into this muddy water was likely even more perilous than sending him to the battlefield.
After all, it's easier to dodge a spear in the open than an arrow in the dark.
Raindrops dripped from the eaves onto the wooden railing, emitting a faint "plink."
Wen Yu lowered her gaze, raising her hand to catch the next droplet falling from the eaves. She said slowly, "I'll let you go."
—
When Wen Yu returned from the inn's kitchen with ginger soup, Xiao Li had already changed his clothes, though his hair was still damp. When he came to open the door, the wet hair he had swept back had soaked a patch of his collar.
For some reason, his expression was also somber, but it softened slightly upon seeing her.
Catching a faint whiff of blood in the room and spotting the gauze he had tossed in the corner, Wen Yu frowned and asked, "Are you injured?"
Xiao Li took the ginger soup from her hands and replied, "An old wound on my arm reopened. It's nothing serious."
But Wen Yu's furrowed brows did not relax.
She immediately thought of him lifting the stone block earlier and how frequently he had been going out on her behalf these days.
The injury was on his right arm, and it still hadn't healed. It was likely that every time he used his saber or exerted force, the wound would split open. If this continued, it could lead to chronic problems.
She asked, "Did you apply medicine?"
Xiao Li downed the ginger soup in one gulp and said, "I've taken care of it."
Perhaps his damp hair was truly bothersome, as another droplet fell onto his eyelid. He gathered his hair with his left hand and swept it back again.
Remembering how he had once burned with fever until he was unconscious, Wen Yu worried he might catch a chill again. She said, "With your injured hand, it's inconvenient for you to wring your hair. Sit down, and I'll help you dry it."
When she pressed him down by his firm shoulders to sit at the table, the gloom on Xiao Li's face visibly froze.
There were no clean towels left in the room, and they only had two changes of clothes. Xiao Li had returned drenched and changed into his own clothes, leaving only the set of men's clothing Wen Yu had worn in the bundle.
She took the inner garment and draped it over Xiao Li's head, using it to dry his damp hair.
Xiao Li was tall; even seated, he wasn't much shorter than her. Wen Yu had always found his stature imposing, but now, with his dark lashes lowered quietly and his elbows resting on his knees, he exuded an indescribable docility, much like a large dog.
Her fingers, separated by the cotton fabric, gathered his half-dry hair and tousled it gently, as if she were really ruffling the fur of the large dog she had once kept at home.
The gesture made Xiao Li look up at her. A few damp strands of hair fell messily across his forehead, his striking, handsome features reminiscent of the deep, roguish charm of foreign men.
But he had reined in all his wildness and ferocity, simply gazing at her quietly.
It was as if a stray, fierce dog had been taken in and given unprecedented care, and in that moment, it dared not even bare its fangs, afraid of being abandoned once more.
Wen Yu felt something soft touch a spot in her heart. Her fingers, still cradling his head through the damp cloth, lingered as she stared back at him for two breaths.
The atmosphere grew somewhat subtle when a knock came at the door.
Wen Yu snapped out of her daze, leaving the inner garment still draped over Xiao Li's head, and walked over to open the door.
It was the inn's laundress, who smiled obsequiously and said, "Madam, you mentioned earlier that you had clothes to wash. I've come to collect them."Wen Yu recalled that she had instructed this when she went to the kitchen to fetch the ginger tea and said, "Just a moment."
She returned to the room and fetched the set of wet clothes Xiao Li had changed out of. Initially intending to take the inner garment he had used to dry his hair as well, she found that Xiao Li had continued using it to wipe his hair.
Not wanting to keep the servant waiting, Wen Yu handed only his wet clothes to her.
After the servant left, Xiao Li said, "I'll wash this garment for you later."
Wen Yu replied, "It's just a few water stains, it's fine."
The relentless sound of rain outside the window filled the air as she gazed at the person sitting across from her, faintly aware of the turmoil in her heart.
Xiao Li noticed her staring and asked, "What's wrong?"
Wen Yu brought up what she had intended to discuss with him before returning: "What are your plans from here on?"
Xiao Li stopped drying his hair, furrowed his brow slightly, and remained silent.
Wen Yu said, "We're getting closer to Pingzhou. I need to understand your thoughts to make further arrangements. As I've told you before, my marriage alliance with Southern Chen is merely a partnership of interests. If you continue following me, it will be extremely dangerous, and I cannot guarantee your safety. However, the Governor of Pingzhou is loyal to my father. If you stay in Pingzhou, I can ask him to look after you and ensure your safety no matter what."
Xiao Li clutched the half-damp inner garment and remained silent for a long time before suddenly giving a rogue-like smile: "Sounds like a good option. I'll decide after I've seen Pingzhou."
Wen Yu lifted her long lashes, seemingly surprised by his response, but nodded in agreement.
That night, both of them found it unusually difficult to sleep.
Wen Yu lay on the bed, turned toward the wall. The inn's mosquito net was made of sheer gauze, so even with the curtains drawn, she could vaguely make out the shadows inside.
The table in the room had been moved to the corner, and Xiao Li had made a bed on the floor where the table originally stood. Resting his head on his left arm, he stared darkly at the ceiling in the gloom.
Outside, the rain pattered steadily, accompanied by the intermittent dripping from the eaves.
Yet his heart held none of the tranquility of the rainy night. The darkness and violence he had suppressed since his last unsettling dream were once again sprouting uncontrollably.
He could tell she was trying to send him away again.
Though she claimed to want to know his plans, her words had already made the choice for him.
He had been trying so hard to make himself useful to her—why did she still not want him?
In his daze, he felt as if he had returned to his childhood, being cast aside like worthless trash time and again.
Amid the clamor of the night rain, resentment and anger clashed in his heart, stirring up a bitter hatred. Despite his utmost efforts to restrain himself, a few heavy breaths escaped him.
Wen Yu, still awake in bed, heard his labored breathing and worried he might have developed a fever again. Hesitantly, she called out, "Xiao Li?"
But the person sleeping on the floor did not respond.
Fearing he had fallen unconscious from fever, Wen Yu pushed aside the gauze net, slipped on her shoes, and walked over.
The room was dim, but she could just make out the outlines of the furnishings. She knelt beside the quilt where Xiao Li slept and reached out to feel his forehead.
She had slept in her clothes, but in her haste to rise, her outer robe had loosened, and she hadn't bothered to adjust it. As she stretched out her hand, the wide sleeve of her gauze garment lightly brushed against Xiao Li's cheek.When Wen Yu rose and approached, Xiao Li knew he could no longer pretend to be asleep. Just as he was about to speak, he felt something brush against his cheek—a faint coolness, accompanied by a subtle fragrance lingering at the tip of his nose.
Amidst the chaotic turmoil of emotions, this scent seemed to be the final straw that shattered his reason.
In that moment, he hardly knew what crossed his mind; almost driven by instinctual impulse, he seized that wrist, yet made no further move.
Wen Yu, with one hand still braced beside his pillow, felt the palm gripping her wrist burning fiercely. Frowning, she called out to him, "Xiao Li? What's wrong with you?"
His slightly heavy breathing mingled with the sound of the rain.
After what felt like several breaths, Xiao Li finally released her hand, rose, and walked out, saying, "I had a nightmare. I'm going out to wash my face."
Author's Note: Struggling too much with the emotional arc, this useless author is banging her head and crying. Sending red envelopes in the comments to all the dear readers who've been waiting!
Thank you to the little angels who voted for me or donated nutrient solutions from 2024-01-16 03:51:13 to 2024-01-17 21:45:37~
Thanks to the little angel who threw landmines: Qing Shan Bu Gai 1;
Thanks to the little angels who donated nutrient solutions: Ming Zi iii～lily 9 bottles; Ming Yun, Ku Qi Qi, Ji Ji, August, kfpy_L, Xian Hua Luo Di, Please Eat Lettuce, Ping An Xi Le 1 bottle each;
I am very grateful for everyone's support and will continue to work hard!
OpenNovel