The Road to Glory

Chapter 158: "I Hate You"

Xiao Li glanced toward the table by the door and indeed spotted a bottle of medicinal oil there.

However, the area where Wen Yu had been injured wasn't just anywhere—it was her waist and abdomen, a place far too intimate.

Knowing the bold nature of the female bandit, Xiao Li hadn't truly intended to follow her advice. He rose, intending to call her in to apply the medicine, when he noticed the breathing from the bed seemed lighter than before.

Turning back, he saw Wen Yu's long lashes fluttering as she slowly opened her eyes.

Xiao Li hadn't expected her to wake at this moment. Their gazes met, and he remembered her cold detachment and anger during the horseback ride. After a moment of silence, he said, "The physician has examined you. The child in your womb is fine. There's congee outside—I'll fetch some for you."

As he turned to leave, Wen Yu's voice, still slightly hoarse from recent wakefulness, came from behind him: "I heard what you said earlier."

Xiao Li paused, his back still turned to her.

Lying down to speak seemed to naturally place one at a disadvantage. Wen Yu propped herself up on her elbows against the soft bedding, sitting up with some difficulty.

The abdominal injury, which had initially been a dull pain in one spot, now seemed to pull at the surrounding muscles, causing a faint ache throughout the area.

Xiao Li detected the undertone of pain in her breathing. The hand holding the wooden carp tightened repeatedly until he finally turned back. His strong arms half-lifted her as he placed two soft pillows behind her back.

Wen Yu had already removed her outer robe and now wore only her middle and inner garments. When Xiao Li's arm slipped beneath her armpit and across her back to support her, nearly half her weight rested on that steely limb—yet it seemed to pose no burden to him at all.

To help her sit more comfortably, the hand supporting her back closed around her shoulder, lifting slightly to shift her closer to the headboard.

In this position, he nearly held her completely in his embrace with just one arm.

When Wen Yu lifted her head slightly, he looked down, their faces now barely an inch apart.

Yet his expression remained stern and unyielding. Though Wen Yu endured the pain and appeared somewhat frail, with the collar of her garment slightly loosened from the movement revealing the prominent line of her collarbone rising and falling with each breath, her gaze as it met Xiao Li's remained calm and composed, dispelling any hint of intimacy.

Xiao Li silently met her eyes for two breaths, his grip on her shoulder firm. After settling her against the pillows and withdrawing his hand, he retreated a step to sit back on the stool before the bed, away from the canopy's shadow.

As if drawing some invisible, uncrossable boundary.

Wen Yu hoarsely thanked him, then recalled what she'd overheard upon waking—having pretended to still be asleep when she heard someone enter. After gathering her thoughts, she finally said, "I don't know which aspect of unfairness you meant, but if it concerns the two of us... I indeed made many presumptuous decisions in the past, which led to me owing you so much now..."

She looked at him, her calm eyes tinged with complex emotions. "There's just one thing, whether you believe me or not, that I must tell you again: I truly never intended to harm you, nor did I ever wish for us to reach the point of drawing weapons against each other."Xiao Li half-lowered his head, not looking at her. His upper body leaned slightly forward, elbows resting on his parted knees, thumbs stroking the wooden carp in his hand as he spoke coldly: "You yourself know you've wronged me. Now that you've fallen into my hands, what's wrong with me not letting you go?"

Wen Yu gazed at his shadow, still and desolate like a rocky mountain. Countless thoughts swirled within her, but what finally emerged was: "I've always wanted to make it up to you."

Xiao Li seemed to chuckle, raising his head to look at her: "Such as?"

Wen Yu's expression remained calm, though a trace of sorrow appeared in her eyes. She said: "Whatever you want, as long as it doesn't defy natural law, harm the common people, or bring disaster to innocent officials and soldiers of the Liang and Chen camps, and if it's within my power to grant, I can promise it to you."

Xiao Li laughed again, looking at her with hatred and mockery in his eyes: "You want to offer me wealth and status? But consider this, Wen Yu - everything you could give me, I already possess now."

Wen Yu paused briefly before responding: "I know with your abilities, Wei Qishan must value you highly. The county princess is beautiful and would make you a good match. What you've gained in Northern Wei far surpasses what you had in our Liang Camp. That's why since falling into your hands, I never expected you would still help conceal my identity."

"Don't overthink it. If you had fallen into Marquis Wei's hands, he would treat you courteously too - to use you and the child in your womb to control the Liang and Chen camps. Then it would be difficult for me to repay that arrow's debt."

Xiao Li coldly interrupted her.

Wen Yu silently watched him for a moment, then said: "If you still hate me that much, I've told you before - you can repay that arrow's debt."

Xiao Li's jaw tightened as if he wanted to say something, but Wen Yu didn't give him the chance. Her dark hair clung to her pale cheeks as she continued with calm eyes: "Want to say wait until I give birth to the child in my womb? I've told you many times - there is no child. This pregnancy pulse has been fake from the beginning, merely a trick I used to deceive the Chen royal faction and Jiang faction so I could regain power and preside over the situation."

Xiao Li first stared in shock, then pressed his lips tight, clenching his hand into a fist as he sneered coldly: "Have you become so desperate to escape that you'd fabricate such lies?"

Wen Yu quietly met his gaze for two breaths. Some things require no words - truth and falsehood can be discerned from the eyes alone. Still weak from her injuries, her entire being radiated exhaustion as she said: "Do you truly believe a normal pregnancy pulse could remain so stable after falling from a horse and a carriage accident?"

Xiao Li sat on the stool with interlocked fingers, staring at her abdomen, his entire presence cold and gloomy. He remained silent for a long time.

Wen Yu didn't know if he believed her. After resting a moment, she finally continued: "I'm no saint. The plans I thought would benefit everyone eventually revealed flaws. But the mistakes are already made, and all I can do now is compensate and make amends. This was true when I came north to see Wei Qishan after the Majialiang Massacre, and equally true since learning you were alive and reuniting with you in this manner - I've always wanted to speak with you."

Xiao Li remained silent, just listening.

He had always been puzzled about her reason for coming north, and only now understood.

It was to see Wei Qishan.

He first found it absurd, but then almost certainly felt - this was exactly something she, Wen Yu, would do.If Wei Qishan hadn't directly used the Majia Liang tragedy to promote a former Jin princess and return to being a Jin official, then Wen Yu personally going to the Northern Border to meet Wei Qishan to apologize and negotiate peace—regardless of whether Wei Qishan would be won over by her courage and resolve—in the eyes of the world, Liang Camp would no longer owe Northern Wei anything.

As Xiao Li pondered this, he heard Wen Yu continue, "I know I've wronged you. Apart from my life, which I cannot give you until Pei Song is dead and the overall situation is settled, I am willing to make amends in every other way."

He lifted his head and met Wen Yu's calm yet sorrowful eyes: "But you carved that box of wood carvings for me. You aren't as heartless as you claim to be, are you?"

She seemed both sad and perplexed: "Xiao Li, must we really become such irreconcilable enemies?"

All the cold indifference Xiao Li had forced upon himself had already shown cracks in that box of wood carvings he had painstakingly carved.

Yet after a long silence, what he asked was completely unrelated to what Wen Yu had said: "Have you ever drowned before?"

Wen Yu didn't understand his meaning and didn't answer immediately.

He didn't seem to expect a reply from her anyway, continuing on his own: "When someone is truly drowning, they stop struggling. They just feel as if they can breathe underwater, so no matter how deep the abyss, they sink peacefully. Whether it's death or liberation, everything simply ends."

"Those who still have the strength to struggle are still desperately grasping for a lifeline."

He said slowly, "I've already allowed myself to drown once."

Wen Yu recalled the look in his eyes when he had torn open the carriage door to look at her, and suddenly felt a dull pain in her chest. She hastily turned her head away, unable to continue meeting Xiao Li's gaze directly.

"You said you once arrogantly made many decisions that ultimately led to you owing me."

Xiao Li seemed to want to laugh, but the whites of his eyes slowly reddened. His voice, however, remained calm: "I don't know if your decisions count as arrogant, but I'm very clear that when you made any decision on my behalf, you probably never considered whether it would be cruel to me."

He extended his hand, and the carp wood carving that had left red marks on his fingers fell from his palm, swinging gently in the candlelight from its string.

He asked, "Didn't you already throw it away? Why bring it back to me?"

A broken, mocking smile appeared on his lips: "Because you hadn't humiliated me enough back then? Want to laugh at me again for how low and despicable I was? How dare I have entertained other thoughts about you?"

Wen Yu was stunned and instinctively replied, "That's not what I meant..."

Xiao Li sneered, "Then tell me, what did you mean by those words back then?"

Wen Yu fell silent. Yes, when she had driven Xiao Li away back then, her actions were indeed not far from what he described.

This was the wrong she had committed.

Wen Yu closed her eyes for two breaths to compose herself. When she opened them again, her eyes were unavoidably red-rimmed. She said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, at that time I..."

Xiao Li's eyes were bloodshot, staring fiercely at her with what could only be described as a vicious gaze, yet he still smiled as he said, "Since you've already thrown it away in front of me once, if you're going to throw it away again, you should throw it farther! Far enough that I'll never see it again!"

He had already decided to let himself drown, but she had to throw him this lifeline, and now she blamed him for holding on too tightly.How could there be someone in this world like her—so convinced of her own righteousness yet utterly ruthless in reality?

Xiao Li lowered his head, his laughter growing more sarcastic and unrestrained.

After laughing his fill, he said, "Wen Yu, I hate you."

He rose to leave, but from behind him came Wen Yu's quiet, hoarse voice: "I like you."

His footsteps froze abruptly.

"You were never lowly or contemptible. It was I who failed your affection and disparaged it so viciously. I've always felt deeply sorry."

From the moment she heard him belittle his past self, Wen Yu knew she had been utterly wrong. Back then, she had been too arrogant, thinking that method would drive him away, unaware that she had trampled all his sincerity and dignity to dust.

"Ever since you left Pingzhou, I've been thinking—if we were to meet again one day, if there was a suitable opportunity, I should tell you everything. You were sincere, brave, and passionate—none of it was wrong. It was I who chose the wrong way to reject you."

She took a deep breath and lowered her gaze to the printed patterns on the brocade quilt. "It was also my cowardice—I didn't dare face my own feelings and feared dragging you into trouble, so I said those hurtful things. Bringing the wood carving back to you this time wasn't to humiliate you again, but out of remorse for what I did to you."

"Your affection deserved to be treated properly. Though I couldn't accept it, I should have returned it to you with respect."

After pouring out all the words trapped in her heart, Wen Yu felt a sour swelling in her chest and eyes, yet she also felt considerably lighter.

This was her past mistake, her debt to him—she owed him a proper explanation.

But then a shadow fell over her.

Wen Yu struggled to restrain her emotions, wanting to meet Xiao Li's gaze calmly. Yet when she saw his cold, almost indifferent expression, the ache in her eyes intensified.

"Is this some new trick you've devised to make me let you go back?"

Xiao Li's expression remained icy, but he reached out and gripped her chin, leaning in gradually. His wolf-like eyes scrutinized her fiercely, as if searching for any flaw in her face.

Just as the tear Wen Yu had been holding back finally fell, his gaze hardened with resentment, and he crushed his lips against hers in a fierce, punishing kiss.