Реi Wеnхuan's baсk stiffеnеd, fееling Li Rong's touch, his mind соmpletеly blank.
Не dаrеd nоt sрeak, аfraid he might say something inарprоpriаtе. Не cоuld оnlу rеmаin rigid, not uttеring a word.
Li Rong lеаned аgainst him. After а while, she strаightened uр аnd sighеd, "Fоrgеt it, this is just hоw уou arе. Lеt me hеlр уou рick оut thе debris from уоur wounds first."
Рei Wenxuаn remained silеnt. Не felt Li Rоng draw closеr, саrefullу rеmоving thе thоrns еmbeddеd in his bаck. Нer brеath brushed аgainst his skin, саrrуing a sсоrсhing wаrmth that spreаd across the wounds аnd coursed thrоugh his limbs.
As Li Rong wоrked tо еxtrаct the splinters from the cane wounds, she spoke softly, "Next time something like this happens, at least discuss it with me so I know what's going on. You always criticize me, saying I don't understand people's hearts or their difficulties. But I think you care too much about others' hardships."
Pei Wenxuan listened quietly. It was rare for Li Rong to speak to him like this, as if she were a nagging old woman casually chattering about trivial matters.
"You always said you didn’t want to be like your father, who spoiled your mother so much she knew nothing. But deep down, you’re no different from him. Your mother lived in a prominent family, and after your father passed away, instead of safeguarding what he left for you, she let herself be swindled out of most of it while you were in Luzhou."
"She handed over the household authority, gave your father’s money to the clan, and ignored everything. She even let your second uncle dismiss all the old retainers your father left behind. After you returned from Luzhou, you should have confronted her directly about these things."
"Even if I said something, it wouldn’t have made a difference," Pei Wenxuan sighed. "She’s just weak by nature..."
"Can’t weakness be overcome?" Li Rong grew agitated as she spoke, her voice rising in anger. "If she can’t learn to protect you, why did she give birth to you? Does she even deserve to be a mother? Don’t think I don’t understand your reasoning. You just think she’s weak and helpless, so you never share your struggles with her, only reporting good news and hiding the bad. She hides in the prayer hall all day, missing your father and oblivious to everything, while you suffer alone outside. This rotten temper of yours, it just frustrates me."
Pei Wenxuan listened without responding. After Li Rong finished cleaning his wounds and watched him pull his clothes back on, she studied his expression for a moment and asked cautiously, "Did I speak too harshly?"
"Why does Your Highness ask that?"
Pei Wenxuan seemed genuinely puzzled. Li Rong pursed her lips, hesitated for a moment, then sat down beside him and sighed softly, "I’m not a fool. I’ve thought carefully about what you said to me. You said I don’t understand people’s hearts, and that’s true. I often see things only from my own perspective, overlooking many things. Today, you were already injured at home. If I said anything that hurt you, please tell me."
Hearing this, Pei Wenxuan couldn’t help but smile. "Your Highness need not worry."
"In truth, from the moment Your Highness turned back to find me that day, no matter what you say, I will never be hurt."
Li Rong turned to him with suspicion. "Why?"
"Because Your Highness was willing to turn back for me. From that moment, I knew Your Highness held Wenxuan in your heart."
Li Rong laughed at his words. "You really do think more highly of yourself these days."Pei Wenxuan chuckled lightly, "After all, we've known each other for so many years. We can at least be considered friends, right?"
Li Rong listened to Pei Wenxuan's words and observed his calm, indifferent expression. After watching him for a moment, she finally said, "Forget it. Let's put tonight's matter behind us. But as for what I said, whether you think it's right or not, just listen to it for now."
"Don't always think about others first. What you want, you have to fight for and take it yourself. Whether the other person accepts it or not is their business, but you can't just give up. Madam Wen is your mother. Whether she's weak or incompetent, she must fight for you at least once. You can't put yourself in a difficult position just because you're thinking of her."
"But," Pei Wenxuan looked at Li Rong seriously, "what if she's unwilling?"
"Then wouldn't she refuse?" Li Rong found it rather strange. "Whether she's willing or not, you have to give her a choice. To help you or return to her own prayer hall—she must make that decision herself. You can't cut off her options from the start."
"But I clearly know which path is better for her."
Pei Wenxuan's voice was slightly hoarse. Li Rong shook her head, "Pei Wenxuan, only the person involved knows which path is truly better."
Pei Wenxuan fell silent, quietly gazing at Li Rong.
The girl before him had the face of an eighteen-year-old, as beautiful as morning dew, shimmering and delicate. Yet her eyes held a clarity and insight that came only after years of life's trials. She looked at him calmly, her eyes filled with a concern that hadn't existed in their previous life and a gentleness that the eighteen-year-old Li Rong had never possessed.
This was a completely new Li Rong.
At the beginning of his rebirth, he had thought of marrying the eighteen-year-old Li Rong, believing they could start over.
When he learned that Li Rong had also been reborn, he felt their fate had already run its course.
But now he realized that at any point in life, when he truly wanted something, he could start anew.
He was different from the past, and Li Rong was different from her previous life.
He was changing, and Li Rong was changing too. Like a child, she was feeling her way forward, even if it meant stumbling and bleeding. At least she was trying, she was changing. So why couldn't he, in this new life, live in a way he never had before?
In their previous life, he had watched helplessly as Li Rong and Su Rongqing spent twenty years together.
It wasn't that he couldn't compete or fight for her—he could have even secretly killed Su Rongqing.
But he thought, since Li Rong had chosen Su Rongqing, no matter how jealous or pained he was, he would respect her choice.
Yet in this life, they hadn't even begun. Why should he step back?
He should fight, he should strive, he should place the choice before Li Rong—to stay or to leave, at least she should give him an answer.
Countless wild thoughts surged in his mind, but he showed none of them. Like Li Rong, when it came to important matters, they both suppressed all emotions tightly, leaving no trace for others to see.
He looked at Li Rong, restraining all his emotions and desires, and smiled lightly, "Your Highness's words, I will think them over carefully."
"If you can come to understand, that would be for the best."
Li Rong spoke slowly, "After all, I can't protect you forever."
"I understand," Pei Wenxuan lowered his voice. "I won't always rely on Your Highness to stand up for me."
"It's good that you know."As they spoke, the carriage arrived at the Princess's Manor. Li Rong, with rare care, helped Pei Wenxuan down from the carriage. Someone had already come to announce their arrival along the way, so by the time they reached the manor, the servants had everything prepared and attended to Pei Wenxuan as he returned.
A physician came to examine Pei Wenxuan, then applied medicine and bandaged his wounds. After a long while of busy work and repeated instructions for proper rest, the physician finally withdrew.
Once Pei Wenxuan was bandaged, Li Rong was also exhausted. She and Pei Wenxuan ate a little something casually, then washed up and lay down on the bed to rest.
With injuries on his back, Pei Wenxuan lay on his stomach, watching Li Rong.
Li Rong had bathed in the washroom and returned wearing a simple robe. She blew out the lamp and climbed into bed.
Pei Wenxuan watched her without blinking. Sensing his gaze, Li Rong couldn't help but smile as she pulled back the covers and lay down. "What are you looking at, staring at me like that?"
"Your Highness is beautiful."
Pei Wenxuan answered honestly. Li Rong, thinking he was flattering her again, rolled her eyes. "Smooth talker."
Pei Wenxuan tilted his head to look at her. Li Rong lay flat on her back, closing her eyes. After a while, she felt Pei Wenxuan was still watching her and couldn't bear it any longer. She opened her eyes and laughed, "What exactly are you looking at? I can't sleep with you watching me like this."
With that, Li Rong turned her back to Pei Wenxuan, complaining, "Go to sleep already. You don't have to attend court tomorrow, but I still do."
Pei Wenxuan gazed at Li Rong's back for a while before saying, "Your Highness, what do you think of me as a person?"
"Hmm?"
Li Rong didn't understand why Pei Wenxuan suddenly asked this question. Then she heard him continue, "My father was a very good man. When I was young, I always hoped I could live up to him. But my father was like a towering mountain—no matter what I did, I could never surpass him."
"When I was little, my mother often said I wasn't as good as my father. Other children's parents would be overjoyed with even the smallest achievements, but no matter what I did, my father would only say I was fine, and my mother would only say I wasn't good enough."
"So I never really knew what kind of person I was. I wanted to hear Your Highness's opinion."
Pei Wenxuan's voice was calm, but Li Rong felt a pang of sorrow in her heart as she listened.
In truth, she understood what Pei Wenxuan meant. Pei Wenxuan himself was unaware, but she knew that deep down, he always felt he wasn't good enough.
That was why even the slightest kindness from her would evoke tenfold gratitude and joy from him.
He had been like this since his youth. Decades had passed, and she thought he would have grown beyond it. Yet, when he asked this question, she realized that wounds left unattended only fester, take root, and grow persistently in the shadows.
She remained silent, and Pei Wenxuan grew momentarily anxious. "Your Highness?"
Then, feeling awkward, he added, "Your Highness must be tired. Let's not chat anymore. I've disturbed you. Please sleep—"
"I think you're very good."
Li Rong suddenly spoke, leaving Pei Wenxuan stunned. With her back still turned to him, she said softly, "I'm not blind. Do you think I would have fallen for just anyone in my previous life?"
"I think you're outstanding. You're handsome, good-tempered, considerate from the start, gentle, and caring."
"You have charm, you're knowledgeable, excelling in the Six Arts of the Gentleman, always ranking first every year. Among the nobles, there's nothing popular that you aren't skilled at.""You learn everything quickly. The first time you drew my eyebrows, they were all crooked, but within a month, you could even do my makeup. The first time you styled my hair, you pulled so hard it hurt my scalp, but later, there wasn’t a single hairstyle you couldn’t manage."
"You may be a bit sentimental and indecisive, but that’s because you value emotions deeply. A husband, a friend, a family member—if they were all like me, detached and able to let go of everything, such feelings would always lack a certain depth."
"Pei Wenxuan," Li Rong watched the moonlight spill into the room, and as she spoke, she couldn’t help but smile. "You’re actually really wonderful."
Pei Wenxuan remained silent, listening to her words. In that moment, an immense courage surged within him, and he finally realized—
He couldn’t let go.
"I’m sorry, Your Highness."
He spoke softly, and Li Rong felt a flicker of confusion. "Why are you…"
Before she could finish, the man behind her suddenly reached out, pulling her tightly into his embrace.
They pressed close together, and Li Rong’s entire body stiffened. Pei Wenxuan held her so tightly, as if trying to meld her into his very bones and blood.
Li Rong felt completely enveloped by him, every sensation amplified infinitely in the night.
His breath, his touch, his hands locked around her waist—everything about him was magnified in her world.
Her heart raced wildly, and for some reason, she recalled the night of their wedding.
Red curtains billowed like waves, embroidered quilts rippled like water.
Pei Wenxuan sensed the shift in her emotions, aware of the changes in her body. His grip loosened slightly as he half-propped himself up, leaning close to her ear. His low, husky voice brushed against her earlobe, slipping into her ear canal and sinking into her mind, stirring an inexplicable tingling sensation.
"Rongrong," he called her name, his usually clear voice carrying an indescribable huskiness. Li Rong’s mind buzzed, making it difficult to think. Then she heard him speak with a hint of melancholy, "I’m feeling sad. Let me hold you, okay?"
Li Rong struggled to think clearly. She didn’t respond, but she didn’t resist either. Pei Wenxuan tightened his arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck.
"Rongrong," he whispered, "I don’t want to let go anymore. I won’t let go, okay?"
Author’s Note: Pei Wenxuan: "Starting today, I am Niohuru Pei Wenxuan."
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