The Epoch of Miyu

Era XI: This Journey of Liking You

"I'm tired. I want to go home and rest," Xu Miyu said to Ji Feng without any emotional fluctuation.

Ji Feng was also starting to feel disappointed. He had only stepped away to discuss some matters with others, and when he returned, Xu Miyu seemed to have completely changed.

He didn’t know what had gone wrong. Following Xue Rui’s advice, he had thought that announcing their relationship today would give her a sense of security.

If it were anyone else, they would never receive such treatment from him. Yet she didn’t seem particularly happy about it.

Why?

Since Xu Miyu wanted to leave, Ji Feng felt it would only dampen the mood to insist on staying.

"Alright, I’ll take you home," he said.

The entire car ride was spent in silence. Xu Miyu sat turned toward the window, intently studying the city’s nightscape.

Finally unable to hold back, Ji Feng grabbed her wrist and made her face him.

"Come back to the hotel with me tonight. Since I’ve already announced our relationship at the banquet, we might as well go all the way. There’s no need to hide anything at the hotel anymore." After a pause, he added, "That way, you can openly stay on the top floor, and I won’t have to squeeze into your small apartment anymore."

Xu Miyu thought to herself, He still looks down on my small apartment, after all.

"I’m really tired today. I’d rather go back to my apartment. You should go back to the hotel," she replied flatly.

Ji Feng frowned, the space between his brows creasing into two small hills.

Sensing the tense atmosphere, the driver sped up, eager to end the suffocating silence. They soon arrived at Xu Miyu’s apartment building.

As Xu Miyu got out of the car, Ji Feng followed.

She handed his suit jacket back to him and said, "Goodnight," then turned to go upstairs.

Ji Feng grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to face him.

"What’s wrong with you tonight?" he finally asked, his patience wearing thin. "What else do I have to do to make you happy?"

Xu Miyu looked up at him, took a deep breath, and spoke her mind: "You said before that you didn’t want to announce our relationship because it might complicate work. So why did you suddenly decide to announce it today? And without even discussing it with me beforehand. Does announcing it now make work more convenient?"

Ji Feng was taken aback for a moment before frustration, helplessness, and anger surged within him. "I explained it to you at the banquet! I didn’t announce it earlier because I was worried your work abilities would be overlooked, that people would say you only got things done because of your boyfriend. But now you’ve independently planned and executed events in the planning department, proving you can stand on your own. That’s why I thought it was the right time to announce it. It wasn’t a sudden decision!"

He paused, trying to calm down, but only grew more agitated. "Besides, wasn’t I doing this to give you a sense of security? When we were dating secretly, you were always anxious, asking me strange questions. I refused to make empty promises like saying I’d never fall for someone else in the future, and you were unhappy because you felt insecure. Now I’ve publicly declared you’re my girlfriend to give you that security, and you’re still unhappy?"Ji Feng gasped for breath, raising his voice with a furrowed brow as he demanded, "Then what exactly do you want me to do? There are many things I wouldn't do for anyone else, but for you, I've broken all precedents to do them. What exactly are you still unhappy about? How am I supposed to give you this so-called sense of security you lack? Do you want me to kneel down right now and propose to you, to marry you, for you to be happy and feel secure?" By the end, Ji Feng was clearly overwhelmed by emotion, so agitated that he was nearly speaking recklessly.

Xu Miyu stared at Ji Feng with wide eyes. He didn't ask what she had been through to make her unhappy. He only complained about why she was still unhappy after he had done so many unprecedented things for her.

But did she have to accept and appreciate this kind of self-sacrifice and self-pity he offered? And his last sentence—hadn't he made his inner thoughts perfectly clear? Was he telling her that he had already condescended to do enough for her, and she shouldn't push her luck by imagining impossible things like marriage proposals and weddings?

Xu Miyu was so angry she laughed, nodding as she said, "Yes, I want you to kneel down and propose to me right now, and marry me tomorrow! Only then will I be happy!"

But what she truly wanted wasn't any of this. She hadn't even entertained the thought of rushing into marriage with him.

She just wanted...

What did she want?

After carefully reflecting on what had happened that night and the root of all her unhappiness, she felt that she simply wanted a relationship model where she could communicate with him as an equal.

She didn't like the "surprise gestures" he created from a position of superiority. They only brought her shock, not joy. They also subjected her to gossip and humiliation.

She had never actually wanted any public declaration of their relationship; she only wanted a little sense of security. Not too much—just a little, as the pseudoscientific saying goes, a little sense of security would suffice. But he couldn't give her even that. And just moments ago, he had used the word "unless" to make it abundantly clear that he had never even considered the possibility of marrying her.

Recalling the gossip and contempt from the ladies tonight, their disdainful eyes as they judged her...

She had originally felt that she wasn't so bad among the crowd; she was even gradually becoming more accomplished. But simply because she was dating someone from a different social class, she was made to feel as if she couldn't hold her head up.

She was exhausted. Worn out to the bone.

This relationship had drained her energy and spirit, and exhausted her passion and hope.

She seemed to be turning into someone else—a person gradually losing confidence, plagued by insecurity and self-pity.

She had had enough of this version of herself, and enough of the relationship that had created it.

Tonight, there was no wind. The moon and stars were bright, hanging high in the sky, coldly looking down on everyone in the city.

Standing in the chilly moonlight, Xu Miyu suddenly realized that her heart felt remarkably clear. She had never been as lucid as she was in this moment.

She clearly understood now that she had been deluding herself before. In the end, she couldn't handle this relationship with Ji Feng.

The vast gap between them loomed in their mutual affection, reducing their feelings to mere liking—never reaching the shores of love and unwavering devotion.She recalled the list of one hundred things lovers should do together—they hadn't completed them all. But it didn't matter anymore; she had no strength left.

She thought, let it be. She was too exhausted to keep going.

Watching Ji Feng's furrowed brow, his hesitation in responding to her demand for a proposal and marriage, she decided to free herself—and him.

"Ji Feng," she called his name softly, standing under the cold moonlight, speaking with clarity and calm. "Let's break up."

Ji Feng stared at Xu Miyu's upturned face, unable to believe what he had just heard.

Moonlight bathed her features, making her appear exceptionally pure and beautiful.

"What did you say? Say it again?" he asked in a low voice, anger rising in his eyes, his tone icy.

Xu Miyu's expression remained unchanged, her voice just as composed. She repeated, "I said, let's break up. We're not suited for each other at all." She smiled, but her eyes seemed to be crying. "Actually, in others' eyes, I'm not worthy of you. But I didn't want to think about it, believing that as long as we loved each other, compatibility wouldn't matter. Yet today, you made the decision yourself—you publicly revealed our relationship, exposing how unworthy I am of you for everyone to see and gossip about. I can no longer escape their judgment and criticism. You might think it's not a problem, but for me, it's a huge, overwhelming issue. The pressure it brings is suffocating me."

Her voice grew hoarse.

She paused, took a deep breath, and looked at Ji Feng with tear-filled eyes, forcing herself to maintain a calm tone. "In the end, I was delusional. I shouldn't have been so greedy; I should have chosen a partner within my own league. Like this dress and these shoes I'm wearing—they're luxurious and beautiful, and they make me look pretty. But wearing them doesn't feel comfortable or happy. They're not what I truly want, and being worn by someone like me, they might feel wronged too, right? They seem to constantly remind me that on my own, I could never afford them—that I'm not worthy of such expensive clothes and shoes."

These words made Ji Feng realize that Xu Miyu wasn't just being emotional; she was seriously proposing a breakup.

Ji Feng was stunned, completely and utterly. Anger surged within him, as if he had been betrayed by his lover.

"Why do you think like this? Haven't I been good enough to you? Gaps, gaps! Why care about what others see as gaps? Why bother with them? Isn't it enough that I treat you well?"

The calm in Xu Miyu's tone cracked. "But the 'good' you give me is what you think is good. Before making decisions, you never ask me if I would actually find it good or if it's what I want! For example, before, you transferred me to the top floor as your assistant without consulting me. And today, you decided to publicize our relationship without discussing it with me. You think this is you being good to me, giving me a sense of security, like a reward, and I should be happy, touched, and grateful. But in reality, this isn't good for me at all, and it's not what I want! It's actually pressure! Because before I was ready, I had to face the scrutiny, judgment, and even humiliation from the people around you!"Ji Feng immediately asked, "Then what exactly do you want? Why are you women so hard to figure out?" After a pause, a thought struck him and he quickly followed up, "Who? Who scrutinized, judged, and humiliated you? Did something just happen? If anyone dared treat you like that, tell me, and I'll make sure they pay for it!"

Xu Miyu thought with a bitter smile that he had finally thought to ask whether something had happened tonight. But she no longer cared.

"Forget it," Xu Miyu said, looking at Ji Feng. "Settling scores won't solve the problems between us."

"What problems do we even have?" Ji Feng's tone turned harsh, his entire mood souring.

Xu Miyu lifted her eyes to the night sky, as if seeing the darkness she had buried deep in her heart these past days—her hidden worries.

—The problem between us might be that when I needed a few comforting words, you refused to say anything beyond reasoning. Maybe it's that when I needed a little sense of security, you were holding onto your temper, waiting for me to come to you.

Perhaps it's that I'm not confident enough, and you're not willing to lower your high stance enough to empathize with my feelings.

Maybe us being together was just a mistake born of impulse. Maybe if you tried being with other women, you'd find someone like me—divorced—utterly dull and a drag on your taste.

So let's break up. Just break up like this, before we hurt each other any more.

Xu Miyu shifted her gaze back to Ji Feng's face and smiled. Under the moonlight, her smile was as beautiful as a fairy of the night.

"Ji Feng, the problem between us is that we never should have decided to be together in the first place."

Ji Feng looked at Xu Miyu, at her resolutely beautiful smile.

Hearing her mention breaking up, he was first shocked, almost thinking he had misheard; once he confirmed she was serious about wanting to break up, he felt both hatred and anger.

He had never imagined that one day someone would break up with him.

Hadn't he been good enough to her? How many women had boyfriends as high-quality and devoted as him? So many young, beautiful, and accomplished women had confessed to him before, and he hadn't given them a second glance—he had chosen only her. Yet she didn't cherish the relationship he had given her at all. Just because he had made their relationship public, she had spiraled into emotions and was making a big deal out of nothing, wanting to break up with him? He had never even thought about breaking up, yet she had so easily and proactively brought it up to him!

She had stirred his feelings first, and now she was casually talking about breaking up—truly toying with his emotions in the palm of her hand.

She really was a terrible woman!

Who was he? He was Ji Feng, the always proud Ji Feng, the one who had always looked down on everything. But now, he was having his dignity whipped by Xu Miyu with this breakup.

When had he ever been so moved, so devoted to any woman? He had never before harshly decided to date a woman who didn't meet his standards, but he had made an exception for her. And since he had made that exception, he had resolved to be steadfast and unwavering.

And her? She talked about breaking up as if it were nothing, trampling his pride, his self-respect, and all the exceptions he had made for her underfoot, discarding them.

He truly felt both hatred and anger.

But he was even angrier at himself—that even now, he was about to lose his dignity and try to keep her one more time, to ask her again:

"Are you serious? Can we not break up?"Yet this utterly wretched woman showed no appreciation for his desperate, dignity-shattering attempt to keep her. She merely nodded calmly and said, "I'm serious"; then shook her head and added, "We have to break up."

"Fine." Every word he uttered seemed to drip with fury and bitterness. "Xu Miyu, since you insist on breaking up with me, remember this—I did try to keep you." His pride flared through his anger, turning his tone cold and detached. "You're the one who insists on ending this. Don't you dare regret it!"

With that, he executed a dramatic turn, slid into his car with practiced ease, and drove off in a show of nonchalance.

Through the rearview mirror, he watched her figure shrink into the distance, standing motionless where he'd left her.

She didn't cry out, didn't weep, didn't chase after him to say she regretted it and beg him to stay.

He clenched his fists. He burned this night into his memory. That wretched woman had thoroughly trampled his dignity. He cursed himself viciously: From now on, if he ever fell under her spell again, if he ever missed her or couldn't let her go, he'd be a complete fool.

By the time Ji Feng returned to the hotel, he was so enraged he felt smoke might pour from his ears.

He dragged Xue Rui over, grabbing him by the collar as he roared, "What kind of terrible idea was that? I did exactly what you said, and now Xu Miyu wants to break up with me!"

Xue Rui stared, dumbfounded. "Huh? Why? What did Mi Yu say?"

"She said what I did wasn't what she wanted—just what I assumed she wanted. Why are women so complicated? What does she actually want?" Ji Feng released Xue Rui and tugged at his own hair in frustration.

Xue Rui completely agreed with Ji Feng: Women were trouble, and poor men like them could never figure out what women truly wanted. But there was no helping it—they were drawn to these enigmatic, troublesome women.

Xue Rui asked, "Boss, can you walk me through exactly what you did? Maybe I can help pinpoint where things went wrong."

With a cold expression, Ji Feng recounted the entire sequence: taking Xu Miyu to the cocktail party and publicly announcing their relationship there.

He'd bought her a dress and shoes. She looked stunning in them, yet when she turned on him, she claimed those weren't what she wanted.

He took her to an upscale cocktail party, where he solemnly declared their relationship to everyone, hoping to give her a sense of belonging and security by affirming her status. But afterward, she said that wasn't what she wanted either, accusing him of making such a decision without discussing it with her first.

After digesting this for a moment, Xue Rui felt he understood both Xu Miyu and Ji Feng. From Xu Miyu's perspective, what Ji Feng gave her genuinely wasn't what she desired. From Ji Feng's side, since she never voiced her wants, he could only guess.

It was hard to say who was right or wrong—or perhaps both were somewhat at fault. But if they broke up over this, it would be a terrible waste.

Xue Rui asked Ji Feng, "So, boss, when Mi Yu proposed breaking up, you just agreed?"

"I agreed," Ji Feng said fiercely.

"Huh?"

"And I warned her not to regret it."

"What??"

Xue Rui decided not to say more, afraid of bearing the brunt of Ji Feng's anger. Tonight, Ji Feng was clearly provoked to the point of madness...

He tried every way possible to get Ji Feng to rest, thinking it might be better to discuss this again tomorrow morning when he'd slept and stabilized his emotions.Ji Feng stormed back to his bedroom indignantly.

Xue Rui settled into the guest room.

The next morning, as soon as Xue Rui opened his eyes, he was so frightened he nearly lost his soul.

Ji Feng's head was hovering directly above his pillow. Dark circles hung under Ji Feng's eyes, and his gaze was filled with impatience as he glared at Xue Rui. It was clear he had been staring for a while and had finally succeeded in glaring him awake.

Yet Ji Feng actually had the nerve to complain: "Why did you only wake up now?"

As Xue Rui sat up, he patted his chest and took deep breaths, finally managing to retrieve, soothe, and stuff his escaped soul back into his body. Then he asked Ji Feng unhappily: "Boss, what are you doing? This is going too far! Who stares intently at their male assistant first thing in the morning while he's still sleeping? This is workplace sexual harassment!"

He rushed into the bathroom to wash up quickly. After getting ready, he saw Ji Feng sitting in the guest room's single armchair, crossing his legs and waiting impatiently for him.

Seeing him finally emerge from the bathroom, Ji Feng said directly: "I've been thinking all night. I feel like I've figured something out, but I'm still a bit confused. I think I'm very clear-headed now, but I don't know what to do next. Last night I agreed to break up with that woman Xu Miyu, but I actually don't seem to want to break up with her. When we talked about breaking up yesterday, it seemed like we seriously broke up, but now in my mind, I feel like we didn't really break up. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you get what I mean?"

Xue Rui looked at Ji Feng and almost laughed out loud. Of course he understood - Ji Feng was getting his comeuppance in matters of love.

Who would have thought that the great Ji Feng would have such a day.

He nodded: "Boss, all these thoughts going back and forth basically mean one thing - the harsh words you said to Mi Yu yesterday about not regretting it are now backfiring on you."

Ji Feng frowned, putting up a strong front with empty bravado: "Nonsense! I couldn't possibly regret it." But after pausing for a moment, he asked, "Do you think she really broke up with me?"

Xue Rui, who was drinking water, almost spat it out.

The arrogant, domineering CEO Ji Feng actually being this insecure? This was truly eye-opening.

"Whether she seriously broke up with you or not, asking me is useless. You need to verify it with Mi Yu herself."

Ji Feng nodded.

The next moment, he announced terrible news to Xue Rui with a straight face: "From now on, you're officially transferred back to my side to continue being my personal assistant."

The water cup in Xue Rui's hand nearly fell to the ground in sorrow.

His days of freedom were gone.

He sincerely hoped that Xu Miyu and Ji Feng would reconcile quickly.

On the night Xu Miyu announced their breakup, Ji Feng was furious. What he thought was: Break up then break up! Who was he? He was Ji Feng, the one others had to please with smiles. When had he ever suffered others' temper? Especially the humiliation of a woman casually talking about breaking up.

So break up then break up - if they didn't break up, he wouldn't even be worthy of the Ji family name.But just as Xue Rui had predicted, Ji Feng began to feel regret the very next day after Xu Miyu announced their breakup. He regretted agreeing to the separation too hastily, failing to consider that breaking up meant he and Xu Miyu would become two unrelated individuals from then on. He could no longer visit her apartment, no longer teach her work-related matters anytime and anywhere, no longer deliberately disrupt her while she was reading, no longer see her radiant smile directed at him, no longer eat the dishes she cooked for him, no longer enjoy her massages, no longer continue doing the hundred little things couples do together, and no longer hold her close through rainy nights... Thinking of all these "no longers," his heart felt hollow and panicked, overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness.

He began to wonder if there was a possibility that Xu Miyu's proposal to break up was just angry words? Just a little trick to win more of his attention and affection?

He thought if this was merely a small game, then Xu Miyu should soon find an excuse to come to the top floor—whether to report work to him or to discuss matters with Xue Rui; when that time came, they could each offer the other a way out, and everything would return to normal. He was certain that Xu Miyu had deep feelings for him too, so deep that she shouldn't be able to bear losing him.

But as he waited and waited, instead of Xu Miyu's reconciliation or plea for forgiveness, he received news of her thriving even more in the planning department. The general manager of the planning department even personally wrote a transfer request, determined to keep Xu Miyu under his wing because he found her highly perceptive and capable in her work.

Ji Feng signed the transfer order almost spitefully. Was she so eager to distance herself from him? Fine, he'd grant her wish.

From then on, Xu Miyu officially became part of the planning department.

But barely two days after signing the transfer, Ji Feng regretted it. Why did he have to be so stubborn? The days when she was by his side were actually his most comfortable and enjoyable ones.

Now, he couldn't even see her anymore.

Xu Miyu never came to offer him a way out. In the end, it was he who couldn't wait any longer.

He brought Xue Rui along and found a seemingly legitimate reason to inspect the planning department's event preparations on site.

He finally saw Xu Miyu. His gaze clung to her face and figure, unable to look away.

Yet she didn't even meet his eyes directly. When answering his questions, she kept her eyelids slightly lowered, looking only at his chest, her attitude both official and proper, completely composed, strictly businesslike, and fully focused on her work.

There wasn't the slightest hint of regret about their breakup on her face or in her demeanor.

Watching this Xu Miyu who remained unshaken by any challenging questions, this Xu Miyu who treated him with professional detachment, Ji Feng's emotions shifted from anger to confusion, then from confusion to a growing panic.

Her current demeanor suggested that she genuinely didn't want to be with him anymore. This wasn't a breakup game, not some playing hard to get, not a momentary fit of anger—she was seriously breaking up with him.

Back on the top floor, Ji Feng paced restlessly around the suite's living room.

His thoughts were as chaotic as his footsteps.

His agreement to break up had originally been spoken in anger. He never truly believed they would actually separate.

But now, having confirmed it from Xu Miyu's expression, he realized they had genuinely broken up.

He had been maintaining his pride, waiting for her to come upstairs to apologize and reconcile—this notion now seemed utterly ridiculous.

So what should he do next?

He wandered aimlessly around the living room. Finally, he stopped abruptly and thought with a cold laugh: So be it. Without Xu Miyu, couldn't he, Ji Feng, find someone better?

She must think too highly of her own importance.

For a week, Ji Feng stopped resisting his mother Feng Xuelan's arrangements for various blind dates.

He attended them like rushing between appointments, sometimes meeting three or four people in a single morning when he was efficient. Feng Xuelan was overjoyed by his change, thinking she might soon have grandchildren.

Xue Rui accompanied Ji Feng to these blind dates one after another. While Ji Feng could still endure them, Xue Rui was nearly at his breaking point.All these potential matches had been meticulously pre-screened by Feng Xuelan, each outstanding in family background, appearance, character, and capabilities.

Yet after meeting one after another, Ji Feng found none could capture his eye or heart.

Xue Rui even made a startling discovery: Ji Feng was gradually searching for traces of Xu Miyu in the faces of these blind date candidates.

This person's eyes somewhat resembled Xu Miyu's. So throughout the meeting, Ji Feng kept staring at those eyes.

That person's slightly pursed lips looked very much like Xu Miyu when she was shy. Thus Ji Feng focused intently on the corners of their mouth, unable to look away.

The most promising match came when a girl smiled with a certain resemblance to Xu Miyu's charm. Ji Feng almost thought this one might work out, but when she suggested having a meal together, he suddenly emerged from his daze as if waking from a fog, finding everything utterly dull.

It was at this point that Ji Feng himself realized with sudden clarity: attending these blind dates at this time couldn't save him, but only absurdly confirmed how deeply he was sinking into his feelings for Xu Miyu.

This realization filled him with anger and shame toward himself.

And so he ended the week-long matchmaking activities.

Thus Ji Feng admitted, contradicting his earlier stance, that perhaps it wasn't that Xu Miyu overestimated her own importance, but that he had inadvertently let her occupy too deep a place in his heart.

Admitting this was difficult because it wounded his masculine pride. But once acknowledged, he found himself unbearably wanting to see that bad woman who had injured his male dignity.

So while he couldn't help mentally threatening her, calling her a bad woman, telling her to just wait and see, warning her not to regret it, challenging to see who would ultimately be unable to live without whom; simultaneously he racked his brains trying to fabricate any excuse that would put her and himself alone in a room together.

Just as Ji Feng was troubled about not immediately finding such an opportunity, Xue Rui reported something to him.