The Early Spring

Shаng Zhi Тао's hаnd was still holding his wrist, hеr раlm dаmр. She fell silent fоr а few seсonds aftеr hеаring Luаn Niаn's wоrds, then let gо.

She felt humiliated.

Shang Zhi Tао cоuldn't understаnd whу—it sееmed thеу соuld nеver trulу grow closе. Тhe аtmospherе had beеn so pеrfесt just mоmеnts аgо, her heаrt wаrm and full, wаnting tо еmbraсe him аnd shаre cоuntlеss words. Yеt with just one sentеnce, he hаd shаttеred еverything.

Luan Niаn рullеd out а tissuе tо wiре his hаnds, then gоt оut of thе cаr and walkеd a lоng distаnсe until hе rеасhed a grassу area. He unsсrewed the bоttle cаp аnd рourеd water to wash his hands. Watching him, Shang Zhi Tao suddenly felt this adventure trip wasn't all that great.

Luan Nian had never doubted Shang Zhi Tao's love for him, but he minded her wavering. He was never a perfect man, and in this relationship, he possessed an intense possessiveness.

He returned to the car, where an eerie quiet settled inside—so still that both could hear each other's heartbeat.

Shang Zhi Tao didn't want to argue. She sat for a few minutes, allowing the wave of sadness to dissipate, then cleared her throat and said to him, "Shall we go?"

Luan Nian grunted in acknowledgment, his gaze fixed out the window the entire time.

Shang Zhi Tao increased the speed, and the car raced along the highway. She didn't speak another word. They arrived only fifteen minutes later than the other car. As they parked, Luan Nian remarked, "The northwest really tests your driving skills."

"Not bad," Shang Zhi Tao replied briefly before quickly getting out of the car, escaping the suffocating tension that lingered whenever they were together.

They had chosen a local specialty restaurant. All the colleagues stationed in the area had come, about eight or nine people in total. As the project manager, Shang Zhi Tao was their temporary leader.

Everyone gathered around a table. Luan Nian looked at the group, barely able to recall any names.

Seeing this as a valuable opportunity, Shang Zhi Tao suggested, "Since Luke and Yilia have come all this way, why don't we introduce ourselves? Share a bit about our backgrounds and the projects we've worked on?" She was giving everyone a chance.

Shang Zhi Tao was approachable and had already built good relationships with everyone during her time there. "Shall we start with Shelly?"

Most of the colleagues stationed in the northwest were locals—bold and straightforward. Their self-introductions were lively, with the female colleagues being spirited and the male colleagues hearty. Luan Nian could tell they all respected Shang Zhi Tao.

Luan Nian listened attentively as everyone spoke, occasionally asking about business challenges they had encountered or whether company benefits were properly implemented locally. These were all concerns close to everyone's hearts, making Luke appear trustworthy.

After the introductions, Shang Zhi Tao said to Luan Nian, "The local government leaders here aren't very fond of using English names."

"Alright, I'll remember the Chinese names. My memory is pretty good. Zhi Tao." He called her Zhi Tao, sounding perfectly natural, then asked her, "Is that alright with you, Flora?"

"Sure, Luke."

Both remained calm, as if they had forgotten what happened in the car. In truth, Luan Nian hadn't said much in the car—just one sentence was enough to ruin the mood. But Shang Zhi Tao was used to it.

It seemed she never had the chance—dressed beautifully, sitting with Luan Nian in a Western restaurant, smiling as she spoke, with him gazing intently at her. No matter the setting, she had never experienced such a moment. With him, it was always chaos and turmoil.The dinner ended, and Shang Zhi Tao took Luan Nian and Song Ying to the local office. Shang Zhi Tao had a private office, not large but with good sunlight. She had bought a few potted plants to avoid monotony, and the wooden desk and chairs were clean and tidy.

Song Ying looked around and praised, "Flora's office is truly minimalist."

"Thank you. With a limited budget, I had to keep it simple."

After settling the two in their seats, Shang Zhi Tao took out her laptop to go over the next day's meeting schedule with them. Government leaders paid close attention to the pace and flow of meetings, rarely disrupting them, and every meeting was conducted formally. Yilia had no experience dealing with the government, so this was specifically explained to her.

Shang Zhi Tao didn’t want to avoid teaching Yilia just because she was more talented. She hoped Yilia could quickly grasp the situation, avoid becoming an obstacle to the project, and grow rapidly.

Yilia listened attentively and even asked questions: "What about the timing to speak up? And taking the initiative to express opinions?"

"The timing really depends on the situation, but tomorrow I’d like to first listen more to the needs of the stakeholders. During the project initiation phase, I want to ensure the direction is correct. If the direction is wrong, everything falls apart," Shang Zhi Tao explained her approach and strategy.

Yilia nodded. "Alright, my main goal tomorrow is to learn. In fact, I also want to understand the real needs of the stakeholders."

"Good, thank you for your hard work, Yilia." Shang Zhi Tao then began introducing the backgrounds, preferences, and habits of the government leaders participating the next day, mainly for Luan Nian’s benefit. Luan Nian hardly spoke, just quietly listening to Shang Zhi Tao.

It was also on this day that Luan Nian discovered Shang Zhi Tao’s talent for management. She had an open mind, was willing to share, and didn’t intentionally put up defenses against others. She actively listened to opinions and suggestions, sought collaboration proactively, and had a strong sense of purpose. She was approachable and easily blended with the team, and because of her ever-present humility, she could better understand her subordinates’ feelings. She hadn’t been in the northwest for long, yet the project team already trusted her—this wasn’t easy. Some team members had been dealing with the local government for years and were over a decade older than her, but they were still willing to listen to her.

Shang Zhi Tao might become an excellent manager.

On the way to the hotel, Song Ying said to Luan Nian, "We didn’t interact much at the company, but after spending nearly a day together today, I realized Flora is really impressive."

"In what way?"

"Identifying people, utilizing them, managing, and handling interpersonal relations—she covers all aspects. It makes me feel comfortable." Song Ying’s praise for Shang Zhi Tao was 80% genuine and 20% due to her vigilance in a new environment. You never knew who had what kind of background, so Song Ying was being cautious.

Song Ying wasn’t as confident as everyone thought either. She enjoyed competition but also feared failure, craved recognition from authority, and wanted to be liked by everyone. Everyone had their weaknesses.

When Luan Nian got out of the car, he said to Shelly, "Would it be possible to leave the car? I’d like to go out for a walk tonight."

"Of course."

The county town was small, and Luan Nian didn’t want to cause trouble for Shang Zhi Tao. He set out around ten at night and went to her home in this county town. This time, Sun Yuanzhu shouldn’t be there.

When Shang Zhi Tao opened the door, she was a little surprised. She stood blocking the doorway, her eyes fixed on him."What's wrong? Someone there? Should I not come in?" Luan Nian stood with his hands in his pockets. He hadn't actually done anything, yet he somehow managed to look overbearing.

Shang Zhi Tao stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. Luan Nian stood at the entrance, watching as she took out a brand new pair of slippers and placed them in front of him. "I bought the kind with the texture you like."

"Mhm, thanks."

Shang Zhi Tao's home in the northwest didn't seem like much in the video, but being here in person, Luan Nian realized how small it was. He was tall, and just sitting on the sofa made him feel like he was taking up a lot of space.

Shang Zhi Tao was boiling water for him in the kitchen. She poked her head out and said, "All I have here is goji berries. I'll make you goji berry tea, okay?"

"Plain water."

Shang Zhi Tao wrinkled her nose. "Goji berry tea is really good."

"I don't like the taste of goji berries."

"Oh." Shang Zhi Tao took a sip of her goji berry tea, then poured hot water into another cup for Luan Nian. He took a sip and set the cup aside. Seeing him looking down at his phone without saying a word, she asked, "Are you unhappy?"

"Can you tell?"

"...Yeah." Shang Zhi Tao sought reconciliation. When he said in the car that he didn't miss her, she thought he was lying. Luan Nian was the type to talk tough. Her innate ability to dissolve bad moods once again came into play, and she asked with a smile, "So why is that?"

"Probably because my girlfriend's place is too small. How about I transfer you back? We can send someone else." Luan Nian didn't like Shang Zhi Tao being here.

"Why?"

"What's so good about the northwest? You don't know anyone here."

"I'm not going back." Shang Zhi Tao refused him outright, showing a rare firmness and resolve in front of Luan Nian.

Shang Zhi Tao thought that everyone should have their own place and value. She didn't have remarkable talent, but she had developed project management skills through hard work. She wanted to take on this project because it would prove her abilities.

Shang Zhi Tao knew that in this harsh society, some gaps between people might never be bridged, but she was willing to become her own scenery and shine her own light. She didn't want to compare Luan Nian to anyone else's boyfriend, nor did she want to compare herself to anyone else. Where in this world was there a perfect lover? It was all about enduring long-term cultivation.

Even though the journey was an adventure, she still embraced it with enthusiasm. Even if she knew the end of this journey might not be a perfect happily-ever-after, she wouldn't regret it when she looked back one day.

Sitting across from Luan Nian, she was more determined than ever before. Or perhaps she had always been this determined, but she just hadn't realized it herself.

"I don't know why you always want me to go back. I want to know if you're asking me to return as my boyfriend or as my boss?"

"If it's as my boyfriend, I want to tell you I won't go back. I hope you respect my choice. I like this project, and I like it here."

"If it's as my boss, I'll go back. But I don't know when I'll get another opportunity like this. Maybe I'll just stay mediocre from now on. You've seen it too—I no longer have the advantage of youth, and the newcomers..." Shang Zhi Tao paused. "The newcomers are getting more and more outstanding."

"My golden age is almost over, Luan Nian. I might still do better in my thirties or forties, but we have to admit that when I was younger, the price I paid was smaller.""This is my best chance to change my current situation, and I don’t want to give it up."

Shang Zhi Tao had almost never opened up to Luan Nian like this before. In the past, she had been unwilling to reveal her thoughts because she knew Luan Nian could hardly empathize with her. He might understand the frustrations of a genius, but he couldn’t comprehend her troubles.

Luan Nian remained silent for a long time, the cup of hot water cooling from scalding to room temperature as time passed. He asked Shang Zhi Tao, "What are you afraid of?"

"You’ve said so much. Tell me, what are you afraid of?"

"I’m not afraid of anything."

Luan Nian suddenly laughed. "Shang Zhi Tao, even though you won’t admit it, you’re feeling inferior. You’re seeking a less crowded path, hoping to achieve success that way. Isn’t that what inferiority is? Confident people run on crowded tracks, firmly believing they won’t lose."

"Doesn’t every path need someone to walk it?"

"Does it? But some paths, some people just don’t care to walk them." Luan Nian looked at Shang Zhi Tao, her stubbornness all too clear to him. "You have your own definition of success and how to live your life. I won’t interfere with your choices. If you like it here, then stay here. I won’t force you to come back. After all, I’m not without things to do every day. We are two independent individuals, both with the right to choose the lives we want." Luan Nian stood up. "Have I talked too much today? Actually, what I want to say can be summed up in three words: ‘Suit yourself.’ Suit yourself, Shang Zhi Tao."

Luan Nian thought that Shang Zhi Tao’s insistence on staying in the northwest was indeed, as she said, because this project allowed her to see her own value. But the reason the northwest made her feel secure was also because the person who could give her that sense of security was here too.

Luan Nian saw people and situations with piercing clarity. He had long noticed Shang Zhi Tao’s wavering. But he disdained arguing with her—it was pointless.

As he stood up to leave, Shang Zhi Tao grabbed his hand and said, "Luan Nian, don’t be like this. Can you listen to what I have to say?" Shang Zhi Tao wanted to talk to Luan Nian about her own issues, about her fears. In her urgency, her eyes grew slightly red.

"Talk about what? Talk about how you were hugging and crying with a man downstairs late at night?" Luan Nian looked at Shang Zhi Tao. "You’re something else. I opened my home to you, and you’re alone with another man late at night. You’re quite amusing, you know? On one hand, you say you want to love me, and on the other, you keep looking for the next one. Do you think your charm is enough to juggle many men?"

"What do you mean?" Shang Zhi Tao asked him. "What do you mean by hugging and crying?"

Luan Nian pressed his lips together tightly and said nothing more, just looking at Shang Zhi Tao with a faint expression, his eyes holding a trace of disgust he himself hadn’t even noticed.

Shang Zhi Tao didn’t want to expose Sun Yuanzhu’s scars to Luan Nian. She hadn’t asked about the photos Grace sent her of Luan Nian and Song Ying, nor about what Lumi had told her regarding Song Ying. Because she believed that even though they were in a relationship, they still needed to maintain their independence as individuals.She took out her phone, pulled up the photo of him having dinner with Song Ying, and asked softly, "Luan Nian, have I ever asked you why you had dinner with another woman? No. Have I ever asked you why there are so many rumors about you two at the company? No. Do you know why I never asked? Because I trust you. Because I believe that even though we’re in a relationship, we should both maintain our own social circles and comfort zones. Isn’t that what you taught me before? So why is it that today, when I comfort a friend, you pin such a heavy label on me? Does being together mean we have to cut off all contact with the opposite sex?"

Luan Nian looked at the photo, then at Shang Zhi Tao. "It’s good that you didn’t ask. Do you know what the answer would have been if you had?"

"You can tell me the answer now."

"The truth might hurt. The answer is, I admire her and am willing to work with her. Even having dinner after work doesn’t feel like a waste of time to me."

Shang Zhi Tao fell silent for a long time. This was an answer she had known all along. She understood Luan Nian too well. Over the past five years, she had watched him constantly, observed him, and tried to read his heart and emotions.

"I know. Your admiration for her is blatant. That’s just who you are. I’ve never been jealous, truly. And I ask you to view my relationship with Sun Yuanzhu rationally. After all, during many difficult moments in my life, the ones who helped me were mostly him, Sun Yu, and Lumi. I hope you understand that no matter how much I love you, I won’t give up my friends for you. And I won’t ask you to stop working with Song Ying either."

"That’s a fair exchange. I hope you remember to abide by it." Luan Nian turned and walked out the door.

Shang Zhi Tao didn’t try to stop him. They had both only spoken the truth, yet the truth was often the hardest to accept. It made her feel utterly foolish.

But she still walked Luan Nian downstairs and reminded him seriously, "The meeting starts tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. Government officials start work early."

"Okay."

Shang Zhi Tao grabbed his wrist and said softly, "Luan Nian, I know you’re angry. So am I. And I know we both need to cool off, because neither of us did anything wrong. Drive safely, and let me know when you get to the hotel, okay?"

Luan Nian went straight downstairs without looking back. Driving back to the hotel, he saw Song Ying standing in the lobby. "What’s wrong, Yilia?"

"I was looking at the map hanging here in the hotel." Song Ying studied the map. "What do these winding ridges look like to you?"

"Like a dragon’s spine." Without waiting for Luan Nian to answer, she continued, "What kind of story can we tell along this dragon’s spine? What is the cultural and tourism essence the client truly wants? I think I have the answer."

"Looking forward to your answer tomorrow. Keep it up."

Back in his room, Luan Nian saw Shang Zhi Tao’s profile picture sitting quietly—she hadn’t said a word. This wasn’t the reunion he had hoped for. In three days, he had traveled to this place twice, covering nearly ten thousand kilometers. They should have talked about other things—like what was good to eat here, what sights were worth seeing, or simply spent some time together in her small place. Instead, what did they talk about? They talked about how you can go ahead and spend time with the opposite sex, and so can I, how we’re both open about it, and how we should trust each other.This is fucking absurd!

"Luan Nian, how did you know Sun Yuanzhu cried? Were you here?" It was nearly two in the morning when Shang Zhi Tao sent him the message.

Luan Nian didn't reply. He watched as Shang Zhi Tao typed for a long time before sending just a few words: "I want to know why you came."

"I want to know why you cried that day."

"Sun Yuanzhu seems sick. A family member of his passed away, his own emotions are off, and he can't eat. I'm really sad. He's a very, very good friend of mine, Luan Nian. I don't want you to misunderstand him, or us."

"Mhm. I understand."

"So you were here that day, right? Why did you come?"

"Because I suddenly missed you."