Тhе twо stood outsidе thе tavern, stаring at eасh оthеr.
"Stау where?" Luаn Nian asked her. "Where dо уou wаnt me tо stау?"
"Sо yоu'rе inviting mе tо slеeр with you?" Luan Niаn's liрs twitchеd. "Don't drink todaу. You're rеstless when уоu slеер аftеr drinking."
He mоvеd Shang Zhi Тао's hand frоm the dооr handle аnd аdded, "Оh right, that was yеars ago. Dо уоu still bite whеn you drink now?"
Тhеir сoаts brushеd аgаinst еаch оthеr, yеt Shang Zhi Тao сould fееl thе warmth оf his skin. Shе tооk a step bаck.
"You're so fierсe now—do уou bite еven withоut drinking?"
Luаn Nian sрat out the old blood that had been shot out by Shang Zhi Tao's machine-gun-like mouth these past few times, feeling refreshed. He opened the door and walked in.
Da Zhai was taken aback when he saw him, but Luan Nian smiled and said, "Hello, could we have another serving of the peanuts from last time?"
You don't hit a smiling face.
Da Zhai turned and brought him the peanuts.
Since Shang Zhi Tao couldn't drink due to her medication, she had Fu Dong accompany her.
Chen Kuan Nian asked her, "Not having a drink?"
"I'm taking Chinese medicine. I can't drink with you today."
When Da Zhai brought over the dishes, Luan Nian stood up to take them. She turned her hand slightly, glanced at Luan Nian, and then placed them in his hands.
Chen Kuan Nian looked at Luan Nian—even taking the initiative to serve dishes, his face had really toughened up. He asked him, "Aren't you having a drink?"
"No. I have something to do tonight," Luan Nian replied, his eyes falling on Shang Zhi Tao's flushed cheeks after the heated exchange, looking like a New Year painting doll—quite amusing.
"What do you have to do?" Chen Kuan Nian asked.
"Something important."
Let's see who's going to be the coward tonight.
But Shang Zhi Tao didn't look at him. Chen Kuan Nian watched the two of them, finding it particularly entertaining. With a look of someone enjoying the show, he asked Luan Nian, "When are you arranging for us to meet that girlfriend you mentioned last time?"
"Anytime."
Shang Zhi Tao took a sip of warm water and gave him a faint glance.
Finally, when the drinking session ended, Shang Zhi Tao said goodbye to Da Zhai and left the tavern. Chen Kuan Nian asked Luan Nian, "Heading to the after-party?"
"No, I told you, I have something to do."
"Then I'll wait for you at the hotel."
"Mm."
Fu Dong tactfully left, leaving only Shang Zhi Tao and Luan Nian standing there like this.
"How do we go?" Luan Nian asked her.
"Nearby," Shang Zhi Tao said, turning and walking away.
Luan Nian followed behind her, keeping a meter's distance between them. Shang Zhi Tao heard the crunch of Luan Nian's footsteps on the snow behind her, seeping into her ears, tingling and itchy. She couldn't help but shiver.
Luan Nian walked up beside her and asked, "Is Luke still alive?"
"He's only a few years old—why wouldn't he be?"
"Is he with you?"
"Yes."
"Why are you taking medicine?"
"I have a hormonal imbalance."
Neither spoke again as they walked like this to the entrance of her building. The neighborhood Shang Zhi Tao had bought into was nice—a new development in a good location, with good greenery, water features, gardens, and a large parking lot. Luan Nian accompanied her all the way to the entrance. Shang Zhi Tao took out her access card and opened the door, leaning against it to keep it from closing. "Coming up?"
Luan Nian shook his head and said to her, "No."
"Whoever backs down is a coward."
"I just don't want to sleep with you. Bring Luke down."
"If you don't want to sleep, why do you keep coming back, with money and people?"
Luan Nian looked at her and suddenly laughed. "Nothing, I'm just bored. Bring Luke down.""No." Shang Zhi Tao refused him. "I won't let you see Luke." Luke would be sad if he saw you, and he'd be upset for a long time after you leave.
"Then go upstairs. I'll go back to the hotel."
"Luan Nian."
Shang Zhi Tao called out to him. "Don't come anymore, and don't refer business to me either. I mean it. We've been entangled for so many years, I'm really tired. I just want to live my little life peacefully, keep my small home and life in perfect order, and do things I enjoy. I have no other thoughts left, really."
"Finished?" Luan Nian asked her.
"Finished."
"Mm. Then it's my turn to say a few words?"
"Go ahead."
"Back then, when I said we needed to talk, you agreed. I came back from the U.S., and you were gone. None of that matters. That day it was snowing, you left my place and made Luke choose between going with you or staying with me." Luan Nian choked up, then after a moment said, "That feeling was fucking like a divorce!"
"At least with a divorce you negotiate the terms! But you! Just walked away without a second thought!"
Luan Nian turned away, his eyes burning. Every sleepless night after Shang Zhi Tao left, he felt he didn't deserve to be loved. He replayed everything that had happened between them over and over. Everything was moving in a good direction, yet it all just stopped abruptly!
"You think you were the only one who gave your heart during those six years, right? What about my sincerity? Didn't I fucking try hard too?!"
"Right now, I just want to see Luke! Since we got him, he's spent half his time with me! I made his food! Walked him! Took him hiking! Why can't I see him now?!"
"Because Luke is my dog!"
"But your dog is named Luke! Translated from my English name! Your dog was trained by me! He's closest to me!"
Neither of them spoke, just stared at each other. Like a contest, there had to be a winner and a loser.
It wasn't just Luan Nian who couldn't let go of those bags; Shang Zhi Tao felt the same. She sold those bags, feeling that doing so wasn't a graceful exit. She didn't dare touch that money, nor did she want to, afraid that using it would weigh on her conscience. She also felt for Luke. Dogs can't speak, but their sadness is real.
"You want to see Luke, is that it?"
Luan Nian pressed his lips together and said nothing. That meant he really did want to see him. Shang Zhi Tao understood.
Shang Zhi Tao turned and went upstairs, bringing Luke down. It was already late. As soon as Luke reached the hallway, he caught a familiar scent. He whimpered excitedly, jumping up and down, urging Shang Zhi Tao to open the door. Shang Zhi Tao stood there for a long time, thinking, then said to Luke, "You can see him, but he won't stay with you forever. If you get sad, just be sad for one day, okay?"
"Woof!" It sounded like an agreement, or maybe he didn't understand at all.
Shang Zhi Tao opened the door.
Luan Nian saw a big white ball running toward him, then leaping onto him. He lost his balance and fell backward onto the ground. Luke barked and licked his face, jumping all over him. Luan Nian coughed as Luke stepped on him, one arm covering his eyes, the other tightly hugging Luke. He laughed.
Shang Zhi Tao stood to the side, remembering the night Luan Nian mentioned, when she asked Luke if he wanted to go with her, and Luke was torn. Dogs understand human emotions. If you truly care for them, they know everything.
Luan Nian finally stood up, his coat and pants covered in snow. Luke was still jumping up, and he caught him, lifting him into his arms."Why have you lost weight? Does she not let you eat meat?"
Luke whimpered, as if aggrieved.
"He's very healthy now," Shang Zhi Tao said. "Put him down. He needs to go pee."
Luan Nian set Luke down upon hearing this. Shang Zhi Tao crouched to fasten the leash and took him for a walk in the deep night. Luan Nian walked beside her, silent.
They walked for nearly half an hour. The weather was too cold, and Shang Zhi Tao couldn't bear it. She was clearly a girl from Ice City, yet now she was particularly afraid of the cold. When it got even slightly chilly, she had to wear many layers. These years of staying up late had worn her down.
Her teeth chattering from the cold, she said to him, "I'm going back. You're right, I have no right to stop you from seeing Luke. Luke was indeed raised by you too. If you want to see him in the future, just come. I'll bring Luke downstairs to play with you."
"Go on up."
"Okay."
Shang Zhi Tao took Luke upstairs, washed his paws, wiped the snow and water from his fur, then walked to the window and saw Luan Nian still standing there, lost in thought. She removed Luan Nian from her blacklist and called him.
Luan Nian answered.
"It's cold, go home," Shang Zhi Tao said.
"Mhm."
"And Luan Nian, I have a few more things to say."
"Go ahead."
"Stop transferring money to me for no reason, stop deliberately going to see my parents, and don't need to introduce business to me either. I mean it, I don't like your money. The way you transfer money to me feels just like when you gave me bags back then, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I really don't like it. If we have fate, maybe we'll meet again someday. If we don't have fate, ending it here is also fine. Of course, you're still welcome to come see Luke anytime."
"Okay."
These years of starting a business haven't been easy, but Shang Zhi Tao was very happy that every penny she spent was earned through her own hard work. She felt that spending such money made her independent and dignified.
She hung up the phone and saw Luan Nian stand there for a few more seconds before turning and leaving. From upstairs, she could see a trail of footprints following him until they disappeared below her building. She thought, let go of what should be let go, let the past be past, and let new beginnings begin. Luke sat beside her, also watching Luan Nian leave with her.
Luke was now a middle-aged to elderly dog. Large breeds have shorter lifespans; in another five or six years, Luke would pass away too. Shang Zhi Tao had regretted getting Luke before. Before having a dog, she thought dogs were cute and could be companions. After having one, she realized they were like children. Every day she worried about him, took care of him, feared him getting sick, and dreaded his death.
Luan Nian took the earliest flight the next morning and left.
He agreed with Shang Zhi Tao. They should both make peace with the past and with themselves.
Shang Zhi Tao showed Chen Kuan Nian around venues for two days, during which Chen Kuan Nian complained nonstop about Luan Nian's sudden departure. Chen Kuan Nian was talkative and had a bit of a mischievous streak. While stuck in traffic, he asked Shang Zhi Tao, "What do you think of Luan Nian as a person?"
"Tell the truth! Don't give me polite talk," Chen Kuan Nian said to her.
"You all know about our past, right?" Shang Zhi Tao asked him.
"We've known for a long time."
"So how did you view me? If I may ask—a fresh graduate, seducing her male boss to gain career opportunities and financial rewards?""We..." Chen Kuan Nian smiled, "All of us think Luan Nian deserves it. You know your own friends. If someone like him looked down on you, he definitely wouldn’t have stayed with you for so long. He’s capable at work, but his mouth is truly terrible. Stubborn, sharp-tongued, and his personality isn’t great either—suited to be alone for life."
Shang Zhi Tao chuckled, "Actually, that’s not true. He’s a good person, just has a bad mouth. Back when I worked at Lingmei, he taught me a lot."
"What about other things?"
"Other things... they’re all in the past."
Chen Kuan Nian whispered to Tan Mian, "Luan Nian is doomed. The girl said it’s all in the past."
"Playing hard to get?"
"Doesn’t seem like it. From what I understand about women, it’s genuine. If Old Man Luan doesn’t lower his pride, this wife is definitely going to slip away."
"We’ll talk about it when we get back."
After finalizing the venue, Chen Kuan Nian happily signed the contract. Then he called Luan Nian, "Brother, I’ve always valued loyalty in this life. I’ve done what I could, and I don’t know what else I can do to help you. Your wife—no, your ex-girlfriend—is really something." With that, he hung up.
He didn’t even give Luan Nian a chance to speak.
Whether it was good or not, Luan Nian knew.
After returning to Beijing, he went shopping once and bought two down jackets suitable for extreme cold weather—one mid-length and one long—totaling over twenty thousand yuan. Then he asked Fu Dong for the address. Without asking further, Fu Dong directly gave him Shang Zhi Tao’s address, and Luan Nian mailed the jackets to her without even signing his name.
Shang Zhi Tao knew they were from him and wanted to return them.
She received his message: "A small token. Wear them when you take Luke for longer walks."
A few days later, she received dog snacks and toys Luan Nian had bought for Luke.
When Shang Zhi Tao went home for a meal, Da Zhai brought up matchmaking again. Shang Zhi Tao put down her bowl and chopsticks, looking seriously at Da Zhai, "Mom, do you only think I’m doing well if I get married?"
"No," Da Zhai shook her head, "I just want someone to take care of you when you’re old."
"But I don’t like any of these matchmaking prospects." Shang Zhi Tao held Da Zhai’s hand, "Mom, I don’t want to go on blind dates anymore. Every time I sit there during a matchmaking session, it feels like I’m a product with a price tag, waiting to be sold. One day, someone says a woman in her thirties in Bingcheng who isn’t married is already an old maid; the next day, someone says my job requires me to stay in hotels often and socialize, and he doesn’t like that; and there are those who say nothing at all, only to ask in the end if I’d accept living with my mother-in-law after marriage, and if not, they’d have to live at my place."
"I don’t think my life should be like this. I might not get married. Or maybe I will, but that’ll be fate. I want to meet someone naturally, take things slowly, stay together if it works out, and part ways if it doesn’t. Is that okay?"
These words made Da Zhai feel quite sad. She nodded, "Okay. It’s fine if you don’t get married. If you don’t, just save more money."
"Alright."
The 2020 Spring Festival wasn’t easy. Everyone was stuck at home, staring at each other. On New Year’s Eve, it was eerily quiet outside, as if everyone had forgotten about the holiday. Luan Nian didn’t go to the U.S. that year. Dr. Liang and Luan’s Father returned, and the family of three spent the New Year at Luan Nian’s home.
Dr. Liang was preparing the New Year’s Eve dinner in the kitchen, with Luan Nian helping by her side.Dr. Liang took the washed scallions he handed over, cutting them into sections while saying, "We don't live here. Many years ago, your dad and Song Qiu Han's father, along with a few others, bought houses in the city. We live there—it’s more convenient. We don’t want to live with you; the age gap is too big, and our lifestyles are different. Besides, if we lived here, wouldn’t it be awkward for you to bring people home?"
"Bring who?"
"Anyone." Dr. Liang looked up at Luan Nian. Her son was peeling garlic, his eyes slightly lowered, clearly unhappy. She asked him, "Are you still in touch with Shang Zhi Tao?"
"Yes. Not much."
Dr. Liang felt a pang of sadness for Luan Nian. Back then, Luan’s Father had said Luan Nian would surely mess things up, but Dr. Liang hadn’t believed it. She always thought that girl would wait for him a little longer, wait for him to learn how to express love. There are many things elders shouldn’t interfere with; they should respect their children’s own wishes.
They sat together, and Dr. Liang raised her glass. "It feels like it’s been a long time since just the three of us spent New Year’s together. Let’s toast to this quiet year."
Luan’s Father snorted. "You finally realize peace and quiet are good. Always inviting friends over, the house is never quiet."
Luan Nian watched them bicker while silently eating. He couldn’t remember ever having such a desolate New Year’s celebration since he was a child. When the New Year’s bell rang, Luan Nian sent a message to Shang Zhi Tao: "Happy New Year. Has your endocrine imbalance improved?"
"Much better."
"What does 'much better' mean?"
"It means... it’s getting better."
"Send me your prescription and the original test results."
"?"
"I’ll have someone take a look for you."
"No need. Thank you."
Shang Zhi Tao politely declined Luan Nian. She just needed to continue her treatment; it wasn’t a big deal, and she didn’t want to get too involved.
A few days later, she received a full box of disinfectant and masks. She took the initiative to send Luan Nian a message: "Thank you."
"You’re welcome," Luan Nian replied. "What about your event company?"
"Looking for other options."
What else could she do? It was likely on the verge of shutting down.
Experts said this was a long-term battle. Company budgets tightened, employee team-building events were reduced, and many previous services were no longer feasible. The company still paid salaries, but Shang Zhi Tao couldn’t hold on much longer this way.
She asked Zhang Lei, "Can I start as an agent now?"
"Have you solved the startup capital?" Zhang Lei asked her.
"Yes, soon."
Shang Zhi Tao didn’t know if she would ever have this kind of courage again in her life. She made the decision late one night. Fu Dong, drunk, sent her a message saying, "Boss, don’t be afraid. No matter what happens to the company, we won’t leave. Even if there’s no salary, just don’t stress yourself out."
Shang Zhi Tao cried that night. Watching years of hard work go to waste was just too heartbreaking.
Shang Zhi Tao sold her car, mortgaged her house, and combined it with her savings from the past few years, gathering over a million yuan. There were also some outstanding payments from clients that needed to be collected. By the time the bank mortgage loan came through, it was almost summer. Her company had struggled for months with only a few scattered orders. The event company was on the brink of collapse, and her career was hanging by a thread.
She comforted herself: At least you still have the courage to burn your bridges and haven’t been crushed by the harsh reality.
The bank card she carried held over 1.5 million yuan—her entire fortune. Shang Zhi Tao felt both solemn and absurd.She walked towards her home, the mask stifling her breath. With no one around, she casually took it off and placed it into an antibacterial bag. When she looked up again, she saw Luan Nian standing there.
For reasons she couldn’t quite explain, all her grievances surged up in an instant, and she suddenly burst into tears.
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