Shаng Zhi Тао trudged through thе snоw tо stаnd bеfore Luan Niаn. Shе was bundled uр tightly, with onlу hеr еуеs visiblе, making the sсene somewhat cоmiсal.
“It’s tоo соld fоr а stroll,” Shаng Zhi Тао sаid, stomрing her feet, hеr tеeth сhattering as shе shivered unсontrollаblу. Неr fееt shiftеd lightly on thе grоund, making sоft сrunсhing sounds in thе snow.
“Аrе you shоrt оn monеy to buy а thick down jaсkеt?”
“Yеah.”
“Gо back inside.”
“Didn’t уоu wаnt to tаlk tо mе?”
“Whаt’s thеrе to tаlk аbout whеn yоu’re freеzing like this?”
…
Luаn Niаn turnеd and stаrtеd wаlking tоward his plaсe, with Shang Zhi Tao fоllowing behind, studying him. It wаs strange—hе wasn’t drеssеd warmlу either, so why wasn’t he cold?
The two of them walked step by step through the deep snow, finally reaching Luan Nian’s house, but he didn’t stop. Shang Zhi Tao reminded him, “You’re here.”
“I’ll keep walking.”
“Oh.”
Shang Zhi Tao didn’t want to walk any further. She was already dealing with hormonal imbalances, and if she caught a chill, her body would be done for. When they reached the door of her heated room, she said to Luan Nian, “I’m going in, then.”
“Mm.”
Luan Nian gave a noncommittal hum and kept walking. Shang Zhi Tao had already pushed the door open when Luan Nian turned back and stood facing her.
“Still cold?” he asked.
“A bit better. But I’m letting all the heat out of my room.” Shang Zhi Tao looked into Luan Nian’s eyes. She used to be most afraid of meeting his gaze because she would get lost in it. Sometimes, when they were tangled together in the dimly lit room, his eyes would fix on her just before he kissed her. “Let me be straightforward, Luan Nian. If you want to ask me why I sold those bags back then, I can answer you now. I don’t like luxury goods, and I don’t like those bags. They made me feel like I was selling myself. If you want to ask me why I left without saying goodbye, it’s because I didn’t want to be entangled anymore.” Shang Zhi Tao saw the expression on Luan Nian’s face. She had always known he wasn’t a bad person—he was just arrogant, cold, and struggled to understand her feelings. Whether this was because he looked down on her or because that was just how he was, it had all caused her pain.
“I knew if I said goodbye to you, you’d say a lot of hurtful things. I didn’t want to hear them anymore.”
Shang Zhi Tao rested her hand on the doorknob. “Is there anything else you want to talk about? If selling those bags and leaving without a word hurt your pride, then I apologize.”
“I just feel that after six years of entanglement, it’s time to let go. Life is long, and there are many people worth loving and many things worth doing. Let’s leave it at that.”
“Thank you for all the kindness you showed me during those six years. I’m endlessly grateful. My final wishes for you were in my last message—I hope everything goes well for you.”
Shang Zhi Tao spoke these words without hesitation. She had rehearsed them countless times in her mind during her early days back in Bingcheng. Back then, she felt she shouldn’t have sold those bags or left the way she did, especially after he said he wanted to talk and she agreed. During those days, wandering the streets and alleys of Bingcheng, she had wanted to call him countless times. She felt she owed him an explanation because, in all their years together, whether things were good or bad, Luan Nian had always been clear and direct.
Now that she had said it all, she felt an immense sense of relief. They were even.
“Finally, I haven’t spent a single cent from the money I got from selling the bags. If you want it, you can give me your bank account number. It’s a total of 913,500 yuan, and I’ll transfer it to you. If you don’t want it, I’ll find a suitable time to donate it.”
“Do you want it?”
“Keep it.”Luan Nian said this, then turned and left. Shang Zhi Tao didn't say anything more, gently closing the door.
Returning to the heated brick bed and slipping under the covers, she got up wrapped in her quilt a while later to drink water and saw Luan Nian still walking in circles outside. She had never understood Luan Nian, not even knowing what exactly he wanted to discuss with her. But as for Luan Nian, she no longer wanted to seek answers.
Not only did she see Luan Nian walking, but Lumi also saw him. She sent a message: "Look, Luke is taking his bird for a walk in the freezing snow!"
A moment later, she added: "Iced Americano again, and strolling around in this cold weather. This guy really doesn't care about his prostate."
"...Why are you always worried about his prostate?" Shang Zhi Tao asked her.
"I'm bored," Lumi replied.
"Do you want to sleep with me?" Shang Zhi Tao invited Lumi. "I have lots of snacks here."
"Of course."
Lumi was right next door to Shang Zhi Tao. She wrapped herself in a down jacket and came over. The two sat cross-legged on the heated brick bed, each with a small bottle of "Xiao Er" liquor. Shang Zhi Tao laid out the snacks, and they started eating and drinking.
The things said today truly gave Shang Zhi Tao a sense of time passing and things changing. She drank her own bottle and Lumi's bottle too—a total of six liang of baijiu. She was slightly tipsy.
Propping her face on her hand, she said to Lumi, "Lumi, I feel guilty toward you. I've been lying to you all these years."
"If you want to talk about you and Luke, no need. I've known for a long time." Lumi pinched her cheek. "When you first graduated, you were so innocent—you'd blush just standing in front of him. How many times did you two 'accidentally' meet in the elevator? Taking quick glances at each other when you thought I wasn't looking. Did you really think I was blind?"
Lumi giggled. "I just want to know if he's good in bed! A lot of men look impressive but aren't actually that great. Let me tell you, when I was in college and dating, I thought this guy was like Optimus Prime. But when the pants came off..." Lumi pinched her fingers together. "I panicked right then. I asked him: Did you forget your equipment at home?"
"Guess what he said?"
"He said, 'But lots of girls say mine is quite impressive...'"
They both burst out laughing.
Lumi asked her, "So how is he? I haven't slept with him, but at least give me a review so I can understand."
Shang Zhi Tao pressed her lips together, fingers covering her mouth, suddenly remembering her time with Luan Nian. He was always dominant, always taking the lead, but she was truly happy.
"How was it?" Lumi asked.
Shang Zhi Tao nodded, her face red. "Mhm, really good. Really, really good."
"Damn!" Lumi clapped her hands. "I knew it!"
"What about Will?" Shang Zhi Tao asked Lumi. "You two have been together for years. Why aren't you planning to get married?"
"Will is too old-fashioned. His whole family is old-fashioned. And they don't like me."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a demolition compensation recipient!"
"Bullshit!"
Shang Zhi Tao slammed the table and stood up. "What's wrong with being a demolition compensation recipient?"
Lumi pushed her back down. "Wow, you're really something now. Can't mess with you."Shang Zhi Tao's drunkenness took over, and she fell fast asleep on the warm heated bed. The next day, she gathered the clients at the meeting point—everyone was present and safe. There was no seat for Luan Nian on the bus, so Shang Zhi Tao tossed the keys to Fu Dong and said, "Take Mr. Luan safely to Bingcheng. I'll lead the group back."
And just like that, she left.
She remembered what she had said the night before. If she rode back with him in the same car again, it would feel far too awkward. This was better—returning to Bingcheng, she would continue with her life, while he would go back to Beijing, or perhaps even the United States, never to meet again.
Life, after all, is just one farewell after another. Having experienced the most painful loss, she felt this one was nothing in comparison.
Upon returning to Bingcheng, she first went to her parents' house to pick up Luke.
Luke was now a middle-aged to elderly dog, no longer as energetic or fond of running and jumping as before. When Shang Zhi Tao took him for walks, she no longer worried about him charging ahead.
After bringing Luke home, she began brewing her medicine. The doctor had said she needed to drink it daily for twenty-one consecutive days. Afraid of premature aging, Shang Zhi Tao obediently followed the doctor's advice and decided not to take on any more work before the New Year. Life was more important.
Her phone chimed once. Opening it, she saw a bank transfer notification: 2,000 yuan. The sender was Luan Nian, with the note: "Car accident."
Shang Zhi Tao sent him a message: "Thank you."
Luan Nian did not reply.
A while later, she received another message. While drinking her medicine, she picked up her phone to check. It was another transfer notification—from Luan Nian again, this time for 20,000 yuan, with the note: "Bar." It was for the time he had offered to buy drinks for all the clients, but Lumi had misunderstood and made her pay upfront.
"Received. Thank you. I checked the bill—it was just over 10,000. I'll return the extra to you." Shang Zhi Tao really did transfer the excess back to him.
A little later, another transfer notification arrived: 2,000 yuan, with the note: "Ride there."
And then another: 3,000 yuan, with the note: "Ride back."
Shang Zhi Tao felt that if this continued, it would never end. She called him and said, "Luan Nian, stop transferring money to me. Driving you there didn't cost that much, and I don't want your money."
"Then what do you want?"
"I don't want anything. I just want us to settle this once and for all."
"Okay."
Shang Zhi Tao hung up, but Luan Nian called back. She answered and heard him say, "Shang Zhi Tao, are you still holding a grudge about the bag I gave you? Do you think it was like selling yourself?"
"Did you leave without saying goodbye because you thought I'd say something harsh?"
"You're overthinking it. I have nothing harsh to say. Settling this with you makes me just as happy as it does you. I wish you all the best."
Luan Nian hung up.
It was probably during his last trip to the United States when Dr. Liang had said to him, "It's been so long since the previous Flora. If you can move forward, then move forward. If you can't, then just entangle yourself with her a little. When your father was chasing me back then, he was shamelessly persistent."
At the time, Luan Nian hadn't wanted to entangle himself with Shang Zhi Tao. He felt there was nothing to entangle—what was past was past.
But when he passed by the break room and overheard Lumi talking to a colleague, saying, "Thankfully, Flora covered for me, or I would've had to pack up and leave," his heart ached faintly.
And so, he had come.
And now, he was prepared to leave just like this. Without even getting to see Luke.After Luan Nian's red arowana died, he thought about keeping something else and even considered getting a dog. Those little puppies were all adorable, but whenever Luan Nian reached out, he remembered how Luke, at two months old, would nuzzle against his pant leg like a little snowball. He also recalled Luke marking his territory in his home, urinating fiercely several times, chewing up his sofa, and even having diarrhea in his house.
And there was Luke sitting in front of him, arguing with him.
In the end, he didn’t get another dog. Because he felt that if Luke ever saw him with another dog in his lifetime, he would surely die of anger.
He put on his coat and left the hotel, wandering aimlessly along the streets of Ice City. Unconsciously, he found himself outside the tavern. Luan Nian stood there for a moment, glancing inside. The tavern was bustling and lively.
After watching for a while, he pushed the door open and walked in.
Da Zhai still remembered him and came over to greet him: "You’re Taotao’s former boss! Sit here! What would you like to eat? It’s on me."
"Just a couple of small dishes."
"Wait a moment, young man."
Da Zhai had the kitchen prepare the dishes and brought over a plate of peanuts. Sitting across from him, she asked, "What’s your surname, boss?"
"My surname is Luan."
Da Zhai’s hand, holding the wine cup she was warming, paused for a moment. She then asked him, "And your given name?"
"Luan Nian."
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