Shаng Zhi Тао wаs paсking hеr luggаgе fоr the Northwest.
Shе hаd spent fоurteen mоnths slеерing in thе Nоrthwest. Thеse fourteen months, through wind аnd rаin, had bеen inсrеdiblу tоugh.
Suddenlу, shе fеlt а bit rеluctаnt to leavе this smаll homе.
After pаcking her bеlongings and shiррing thеm bасk tо Вeijing, she gаvе the high-quаlitу mаttress Luаn Nian hаd bоught to a соlleаgue who didn’t mind using it. Bу the time she finishеd аll this, it wаs alrеady evеning.
Drаgging а small suitсаsе tо thе аirpоrt, Shеlly сamе to seе her оff. Тhе two hаd sреnt fоurteen months tоgether day and night, оvercoming сountless рrojесt chаllenges. At this moment, they suddenly felt a sense of mutual understanding.
"Why not apply to come to the Northwest as the branch general manager?" Shelly suggested.
Shang Zhi Tao smiled. "That could work."
"I’m serious. Beijing is tough to navigate, especially in our company. Those with money or connections—you never know when you might offend someone. It’s better here, far from the center of power. A project comes along every few years, and one project can sustain you for years."
"Speaking of projects, the company approved over 400,000 in project bonuses, which should be distributed together at the end of the year."
"That’s great. Thank you. Really, consider my suggestion—come here and be the branch boss."
Shang Zhi Tao laughed heartily.
Returning to Beijing meant stepping back into the whirlpool of gossip. But one thing was particularly good: she, Sun Yu, and Sun Yuanzhu found a day to watch a midnight movie. In the empty theater, each of them occupied a row of empty seats, releasing their joys and sorrows into the dimness.
Walking side by side afterward, Sun Yu brought up that Christmas years ago. It had snowed, and the three of them walked out of the cinema, trudging six kilometers through the snow.
That night, they took many, many photos in the neighborhood, but their favorite was still the group photo of the three of them. Standing in the snow, it was the prime of their lives. Back then, none of them had suffered too much hardship, each still carrying a youthful innocence.
"Those days are gone, aren’t they?" Sun Yu said.
"Should we take another group photo?" Shang Zhi Tao suggested.
That night, they took another group photo. Sun Yu secretly compared the two photos, her eyes reddening. She said to Shang Zhi Tao, "Look at him—it’s like he’s a different person."
"But the warmth in him is still there," Shang Zhi Tao comforted her, though she felt a little sad herself.
After being away for fourteen months, sitting back in the office felt like a lifetime had passed. Opening the drawer, she saw the wish list she had written before turning thirty, tucked beneath a folder. Most of the items had been accomplished, except for one line that remained untouched: "I want to have a small home in Beijing."
She stared at the paper for a long time. Years had passed, and the paper had grown somewhat worn. Gently, she placed it back in the drawer.
"Flora, could you come to my office?" Josh called her for a talk. She replied, "Sure."
Getting up, she went to Josh’s office.
Seeing Shang Zhi Tao enter, he gestured to the chair opposite his desk. "Have a seat."
Shang Zhi Tao sat down. Josh looked up from his computer. "Have you prepared your performance review document?"
"Not yet. The first phase of the project just wrapped up recently, and I haven’t had time to write it." Shang Zhi Tao sat as upright as she always had. Josh noticed her posture and said, "No need to be so formal."
"It’s not that—I’ve always sat like this.""Mm." Josh pushed his computer in front of Shang Zhi Tao. "I've been reviewing your performance evaluations from the past few years, and I think you're really outstanding. But you also have weaknesses." Josh opened the job competency model. "Have you compared yourself against it?"
"Yes."
"Analyzed it? What's your conclusion?"
"I have. Creative ability is my weak point."
Josh nodded. "So during your performance review, you need to know how to highlight your strengths and downplay your weaknesses. Once you finish writing your review report, show it to me. I'll help you go through it several times." Shang Zhi Tao wanted to ask if he would also help Yilia review hers, but she ultimately didn't ask. There was no need—a good leader would appear impartial at a time like this.
"Thank you. I'll send it to you as soon as I finish."
"Don't call me 'you' so formally. Just call me Josh."
"Okay, Josh."
Shang Zhi Tao's seriousness made Josh laugh. "No need to look like you're facing a great enemy. I want you to succeed. I didn't want to bring it up at the dinner table that day, but everyone started talking about it, so I had to say something. I hope you understand."
"It's fine, Josh."
As Shang Zhi Tao left Josh's office, she ran into Tracy, who smiled and asked her, "How did it go?"
"What?"
"Your performance review materials."
"I haven't started preparing yet."
"Prepare well, Flora," Tracy said to her. "I believe in you."
"Thank you, Tracy." Shang Zhi Tao believed Tracy's encouragement was sincere. She trusted her completely.
When she returned to her desk, she saw Lumi had arrived. As soon as Lumi saw Shang Zhi Tao, she pulled her along to buy coffee. Once the elevator doors closed, Lumi said to her, "Don't be afraid of anything. Will is also a reviewer."
"What?"
"This year's review panel consists of department heads and two experts. Tracy is also a reviewer. I've analyzed it for you: Will is the one I sleep with—if he dares give you a low score, I'll kill him; Tracy has always been good to you; Luke is stubborn but should be fair; you have a good relationship with Grace. The only variable is your new boss."
Lumi seriously analyzed the situation for Shang Zhi Tao. She would rather be nothing her whole life than see Shang Zhi Tao lose. She just wanted Shang Zhi Tao to win against those people and rise to the top.
Shang Zhi Tao couldn't even begin to express how much she loved Lumi. All she could say was, "Coffee is on me."
That day, her mood was exceptionally good, truly exceptional.
She called Sun Yuanzhu and Sun Yu, asking if they wanted to have dinner together that evening. They both happily agreed.
Sun Yuanzhu even sent a few restaurant options in the group chat. He said, "How about these?"
They discussed restaurants and tastes in the group chat. Finally, Sun Yuanzhu said, "Forget it, let's eat at home. Sun Yu's cooking is delicious."
"Then it's settled. I don't have a management meeting this afternoon. I'll pick up Tao Tao later, then pick you up, and the three of us can go grocery shopping together."
"Sounds good," Sun Yuanzhu said. He seemed to be in an especially good mood.
Shang Zhi Tao quietly said to Sun Yu, "I think the treatment is working. Look at him now—he's eating more, talking more, and that night after we watched a movie together, he even laughed a few times!"
"Tao Tao, I'm so happy."
"Me too."That day was truly an ordinary one. They each worked at their posts, yet they were looking forward to getting off work to go to the market together, buy groceries, and cook a meal at home. They had planned it all out: Sun Yu would pick up Shang Zhi Tao, then the two of them would go together to fetch Sun Yuanzhu. After that, they would head to the market to buy groceries and finally return home to prepare a lavish feast.
Everything was perfectly planned. The weather was perfect too—clear autumn skies and a gentle, refreshing breeze.
The evening clouds that day were exceptionally beautiful. Shang Zhi Tao and Sun Yu both took out their phones to capture the sight, and they even shared the photos in their group chat, saying, "Look, a poetic dusk."
They drove to Sun Yuanzhu's company building, and Sun Yu called him, but he didn't answer.
The area outside the building was packed with people. The two of them squeezed through the crowd and asked a young woman, "What's going on? Is there an event?"
The woman, tears welling in her eyes, replied, "One of our colleagues jumped from the building." She seemed utterly terrified, unable to believe such a thing could happen so close to her.
"But why would someone jump when life is so good?"
Shang Zhi Tao and Sun Yu pushed further into the crowd. Sun Yu kept calling Sun Yuanzhu, but there was no answer. They made their way to the innermost part of the crowd, only to be stopped by a police cordon. They saw a body lying on the ground, covered by a white sheet.
Sun Yu still held her phone to her ear. She watched as someone approached a police officer, handing over a phone. The officer took it and answered, "Hello."
Sun Yu couldn't make out what the officer was saying. Countless sounds exploded in her ears, deafening and earth-shattering, as if her eardrums were shattering. She looked at Shang Zhi Tao, not shedding a single tear, gripping her hand tightly. Sun Yu saw the light fade from Shang Zhi Tao's eyes, replaced by confusion.
She hung up the phone, her hands trembling uncontrollably, her teeth chattering. In a shaky voice, she pleaded with Shang Zhi Tao, "Tao Tao, can you go see if it's him? Can you?"
"What? Who?"
"That person... can you go check for me?"
Shang Zhi Tao closed her eyes for a long moment before opening them again. She said, "Okay."
The fifty-meter walk felt like a lifetime. Shang Zhi Tao stumbled once, and a security guard steadied her, saying, "It might not be him."
She was led to the body, and the white sheet was lifted. The face was a bloody, unrecognizable mess. Shang Zhi Tao closed her eyes, her mind flooded with Sun Yuanzhu's words: "I really want to leap into the sea of clouds."
I really want to leap into the sea of clouds.
The evening glow that day was exceptionally beautiful, truly breathtaking. Sun Yuanzhu died at dusk, beneath a sky painted with crimson clouds, taking with him all his gentleness. Even in death, he carried a poetic grace.
People around them murmured, "Such a promising young man—why would he do something like this?"
"He was a young scientist in the autonomous driving department, a pillar of the nation. What a terrible loss."
"Who knows what could have driven him to this?"
Everyone, everyone discussed the deceased in their ordinary way, treating life and death as commonplace matters of the world. They didn't know that the one who had left was someone else's lifelong love, someone else's dearest friend—something extraordinary in this world.
Shang Zhi Tao finally broke down in tears.
She asked Sun Yu, "Do you want to see him one last time? To say goodbye?"
Sun Yu shook her head. "No, I want to remember his clean, gentle face forever." From beginning to end, she showed no expression at all.Shang Zhi Tao couldn't remember what happened later that day—how she had wept before everyone, how Sun Yu had pulled her away, how they had returned home.
Everything felt hollow.
This warm home still held the bookshelf Sun Yuanzhu had built himself, the fence he had made for Luke, the walls he had painted with his own hands, the flowers he had planted.
I don't know if you've ever lost your best friend. I have. Shang Zhi Tao thought, that feeling was truly unreal. She and Sun Yu sat in the living room, the room pitch dark, the moonlight like water. Both stared at the door, convinced that in a moment Sun Yuanzhu would open it and walk in—so thin, so gentle, smiling at them and saying, "I'm back."
Suddenly, she couldn't recall Sun Yuanzhu's face—only a vague image with a pair of glasses.
"Do you still remember what he looked like?" she asked Sun Yu through tears.
Sun Yu didn't answer. She stood up and went to the kitchen to cook noodles. She was too hungry, her stomach achingly empty, urgently needing to be filled.
She ate three bowls of noodles until her stomach felt completely stuffed. Shang Zhi Tao snatched her chopsticks, crying and pleading, "Don't do this, Sun Yu." Sun Yu picked up the bowl and drank the broth. Her stomach began to cramp violently, and she suddenly seemed to understand why Sun Yuanzhu had disliked eating. She put down the bowl, walked into the bedroom, and closed the door.
Shang Zhi Tao sat in the room all night, unable to sleep. When dawn broke, she suddenly remembered Sun Yuanzhu's face—on a rainy morning, walking with her to the bus stop. He had said to her, "My name is Sun Yuanzhu."
She had asked, "The Yuanzhu from 'With soaring ambition spanning the four seas, wings spread in thoughts of distant flight'?"
The last line of that verse was, "The ancients treasured every inch of time, thinking of this fills one with dread."
It should have been a perfectly fine day, yet it became the worst day of their lives.
On the evening of the second day, Sun Yuanzhu's father and sister came to collect his belongings. His sister was truly beautiful, her expression strikingly like his. Though there were four people in the room, no one spoke. Shang Zhi Tao and Sun Yu stood by the door, watching Sun Yuanzhu's family sort through his things. They lifted his bed—beneath it were piles of books and a small box. The old man opened it and saw the assortment of items inside, the box labeled: "For Yu Tao."
They took the box. Sun Yu saw all the little gifts she had given Sun Yuanzhu over the years: a comb, a piece of jade, a fountain pen, a letter. Sun Yu had hidden all the tenderness of her adulthood in these gifts. Opening the letter, she saw Sun Yuanzhu had added a line at the end:
"I will watch from beyond this world as you fall in love, marry, have children, live a life of joy, forever free from suffering."
There was also a small nut-carved figurine—the one Shang Zhi Tao had tied to a branch.
In this dusty world, we are both travelers and those returning home.
These gifts were all gentle offerings from Sun Yuanzhu over the long years. From now on, they could only repay him with the wind.
One night, on Shang Zhi Tao's seventh consecutive sleepless night and Sun Yu's seventh day of eating and sleeping in cycles, Shang Zhi Tao lay in bed and heard sounds from the living room. Following the noise, she found Sun Yu standing there crying. Sun Yu turned to look at Shang Zhi Tao, tears streaming down her face: "It's the seventh day. He won't come back."
Shang Zhi Tao embraced Sun Yu, holding tightly to the last trace of her spirit."I will never fall in love, marry, or have children. If I did, he would no longer look at me."
"I wish that in my next life, I could meet him at seventeen, and give him all the love of my lifetime—from youth to old age."
"I hope that every 'I love you' I ever said to him becomes a lamp along his departing path, lighting the way beneath his feet."
"I wish he would never suffer again."
In life's darkest moments, I want to light an eternal lamp for my beloved, guiding you all the way to the end of the road, to the clouds where you long to be. From then on, I remain in this world, while you are in the clouds—and also in my heart.
May you live a hundred years.
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