The Double

"I came for you."

Situ Jiuyue was taken aback, looking at Xue Zhao. For a moment, the girl's face seemed to flush—an incredible occurrence, as throughout many past years, she had never experienced such emotions. The innocence and shyness typical of young girls had drifted far, far away from her ever since her family was destroyed.

She looked at Xue Zhao. The young man's gaze was clear, passing over her like a beam of sunlight, unobstructed and shining directly into the depths of one's heart.

Situ Jiuyue paused before asking, "What do you mean?"

"You are my friend and you saved my life. Back at the Duke's residence, if you hadn't treated my injuries, I might not have survived." Xue Zhao smiled and said, "Now that you need help, how could I leave you alone here? No matter how insignificant my role may be, I will do my best to assist, even if it seems trivial in your eyes."

A wave of disappointment instantly swept through Situ Jiuyue's heart.

So it was just friendship. So it was because of a life-saving favor. Indeed, this young man was always clear about love and hate, repaying kindness and grudges alike. His feelings toward her must be the same. He was a person of light, and no matter what, he should not harbor any longing for someone like her, who lived in darkness.

In this world, there might be a Jiang Li who could save Ji Heng, but there might not necessarily be a Xue Zhao to save Situ Jiuyue. Moreover, he could not save her at all; he would only be dragged down into the abyss along with her.

"You really can't help me with anything," Situ Jiuyue said coldly. "So your coming here is a mistake from the start. Go back. I will find a way to send you away from Molan. Don't come here again in the future. You and I are as distinct as two separate streams—I am the princess of Molan, and you can continue being your chivalrous hero."

Her attitude of keeping others at a distance immediately made Xue Zhao freeze as well. He felt somewhat at a loss, but Situ Jiuyue gave him no chance to speak further. Instead, she instructed Haitang to take care of Xue Zhao and left.

Xue Zhao remained seated, watching Situ Jiuyue's figure quickly depart. A sense of frustration welled up in his heart. Unable to contain himself, he slammed the table, just as he used to do as a child, and muttered, "Xue Zhao, you're so foolish..."

"Young master," Haitang said cautiously, "Her Highness the Princess seems to be angry."

"I know," Xue Zhao replied. "I..." He was not an inarticulate young man. On the contrary, back in his hometown of Tongxiang, he was always getting into trouble and was quite glib-tongued. Though honest and sincere, he was by no means foolish. Yet when it came to Situ Jiuyue, he always seemed to miss the mark, feeling that words that should have been easy to say simply wouldn't come out in her presence.

His flustered appearance made Haitang chuckle. Xue Zhao asked in confusion, "What are you laughing at?"

"Young master, you really like Her Highness the Princess, don't you?" Haitang said.

Xue Zhao was startled, his face instantly turning bright red. He stammered, "Wh-what nonsense are you talking..."

"So young master doesn't like Her Highness the Princess? Well, that makes sense. Her Highness is always so cold and distant."

"No," Xue Zhao grew anxious upon hearing this, "She's just cold on the outside but warm on the inside. How could I not like her..."

"Then young master does like Her Highness the Princess," Haitang interrupted Xue Zhao. "Isn't that right?"Xue Zhao fell silent, unable to deny it. Haitang had been with the Xue family for so many years that in some ways, she was like an elder sister who had watched him grow up. If Haitang could see through him, it meant his feelings were already obvious. Any further denial would only make him seem insincere.

"I just like her," Xue Zhao had intended to declare boldly, but his voice wavered with uncertainty toward the end, "Is that not allowed?"

"It’s not that it’s not allowed, but since you feel this way, Young Master, why not confess your feelings to Her Highness the Princess?" Haitang asked with a smile.

"I..." Xue Zhao hesitated, his gaze drifting toward his legs.

If only he weren’t such a cripple...

"Is the Young Master concerned about his legs?" Haitang inquired.

The embarrassment on Xue Zhao’s face gradually faded, replaced by a serious expression. "No," he said.

Haitang was puzzled.

"Although I cannot stand on my feet, this does not make me feel inferior. This was Princess Yongning’s fault back then, not mine. I have no reason to blame myself for it. On the contrary, I am striving to accomplish what I could do standing up even without standing—like mastering the whip technique or protecting those around me. I believe that no matter who you are, whether physically whole or not, the feelings of liking someone are precious and should not be belittled because of one’s status."

"Then why is the Young Master... unwilling to speak of it?"

Xue Zhao let out a bitter laugh. "Haitang, after spending so much time with Jiuyue, what do you think she... sees me as?"

Haitang was taken aback.

"Although I often talk about having dreams of the jianghu, the truth is, I haven’t experienced much of the world. That’s why I fell so easily into Princess Yongning’s trap back then. But Jiuyue—she grew up truly in the jianghu. She has seen far more than I have. Perhaps in her eyes, I’m just an ignorant young man who doesn’t know his limits. If she doesn’t like me, and I confess my feelings, I’m afraid we won’t even be able to remain friends. But I don’t want to watch her from afar, at least not now. I want to stay by her side until the turmoil in Molan settles, and then tell her. That way, even if she sends me away and never wants to see me again, I can at least leave with peace of mind."

Hearing this, Haitang remained silent for a long time. She looked at Xue Zhao, her heart filled with mixed emotions. The bright, spirited young man from years past had finally grown up. His affection might seem naive and simple, but it was undoubtedly sincere. After a long pause, Haitang finally said, "Young Master, you really aren’t very clever."

"Ah?" Xue Zhao was surprised. "Why do you say that?"

"Young Master, you’ve already figured out Her Highness’s thoughts, but your conclusion is completely off the mark."

Xue Zhao stared blankly at Haitang. He wasn’t foolish and could grasp the implication in her words, yet he still found it hard to believe. "You... what do you mean?"

"Her Highness treats you specially, Young Master, and you are not as lacking as you think. If you like her, just say it. Your feelings are precious. In fact... when Lady Jiang and the Duke left Yanjing City, they mentioned something to me."

"Sister?" Xue Zhao was startled.

Jiang Li and Ji Heng had long since embarked on their travels to distant lands, and Xue Zhao had no idea what Jiang Li had said."The young lady had long anticipated that once Her Highness returns to Molan, the young master would surely follow. She also foresaw... that the young master would likely hesitate and be unwilling to confess his feelings to Her Highness." At this point, Haitang covered her mouth with a light laugh.

Xue Zhao felt somewhat embarrassed.

"The young lady instructed this servant to tell you, young master, that you may freely express your feelings to Her Highness without reservation. If Her Highness refuses to accept them and tries to send you away, yet you are unwilling to leave and wish to stay and assist her, then just stubbornly remain. Use the same persistence you showed back in Tongxiang—I guarantee even Her Highness would be at a loss with you." Haitang imitated Jiang Li's tone, causing Xue Zhao's face to flush even redder, though his eyes began to sparkle.

This was his first time liking someone, making him appear rather awkward, but with a little encouragement, he suddenly saw things clearly.

"The young lady said that if the young master wishes to accomplish something, he surely can—it all depends on whether the young master seeks sincerity of heart or the final outcome."

Sincerity? Outcome? But when it comes to liking someone, such feelings inherently don't seek an outcome. Those moments of solitary worry, longing, and confusion—when reflected upon later—are still joyful in their own way.

"I understand," Xue Zhao said. "I will act according to my own heart."

...

For several days in a row, Situ Jiuyue was nowhere to be seen.

It was said that Suo Jing had already prepared everything for the ceremony, and the announcement of the royal consort was imminent. Situ Jiuyue walked alone in the garden. Though she had long been prepared for the matter to be settled, now that the moment was truly approaching, she felt a twinge of reluctance, as if waiting for some miracle to occur. To suppress this unrealistic notion, Situ Jiuyue deliberately avoided Xue Zhao, fearing that seeing him would shake her resolve again. Sadly, this was nothing but shameful wishful thinking.

But the more one tries to avoid something, the more it seems to appear. Before she could reach the pavilion, someone blocked her path midway.

It was Xue Zhao.

Situ Jiuyue slightly furrowed her brows.

"Jiuyue.This time, the young man didn't even add the formal address "young lady," and the intimate term caught Situ Jiuyue off guard. Before she could speak, Xue Zhao continued, "I heard from Lord Suo that you have already chosen your royal consort."

"Yes." Situ Jiuyue suppressed the turmoil in her heart and replied with feigned calm.

"You've known him for barely over a month, let alone formed any deep connection. It's merely to silence the ministers. Since that's the case, could you choose me as your royal consort instead?"

Situ Jiuyue looked at him in astonishment.

The young man's face was slightly flushed, but his gaze was resolute as he spoke deliberately, word by word: "Even if it's just for convenience—whether for five years, ten years, or a lifetime—I can accept it. Though I am crippled, I believe I could get along with you better than that gentleman. Moreover, I am not from Molan and have no interest in your status or wealth... I ask for nothing in doing this. Just allow me to stay by your side."

Situ Jiuyue's heart raced wildly. She asked, "Why would you do this?"

"Because I like you, Miss Jiuyue," Xue Zhao said.

These were the words she had always longed to hear, yet now, she suddenly felt afraid to accept them. "Impossible," she replied."I've long been fond of Lady Jiuyue, ever since the first time I saw her." Xue Zhao seemed to grow even more resolute and courageous, pouring out his heartfelt feelings.

When exactly he began to like her, he truly couldn't recall. That day, after narrowly escaping the dungeon and being brought to the Duke's residence by Ji Heng, he saw this girl. In his life, he had encountered someone as warm and beautiful as Xue Fangfei, and someone as alluring and charming as Qiong Zhi, but such an icy-cold girl was a first for him. Yet, despite her stern expression and silence, her movements were incredibly gentle. She called herself the Poisonous Consort, yet she repeatedly saved him. Everyone thought the Poisonous Consort was like a stubborn, unyielding stone on the riverbank, but he alone saw her as a rare pearl unearthed only after digging three feet deep.

He could glimpse the tenderness beneath her armor, even if she refused to admit it.

"I know what worries you, and I know what you doubt, but none of that matters. If you cannot come into my world, then I'll gladly come to yours." The young man's gaze was tender as he said, "Let us stay together until the day you grow tired of me." He was willing to be used, and besides, what others saw as exploitation, he saw as a fulfilling and beautiful act of devotion for the one he loved.

"This lady, Your Highness," he said with a warm, bright smile, "may I have your permission?"

Situ Jiuyue didn't know how to respond until she noticed Xue Zhao's hands, clenched into fists on his lap, trembling slightly. His ears were flushed red, betraying his nervousness. Like a gentle beast baring its weakness, he laid his furry head upon the hunter's knee—even the coldest, most ruthless hunter would be moved.

It made it impossible to refuse.

Besides, she had no intention of refusing in the first place.

This wasn't necessarily a wise idea, and perhaps countless troubles lay ahead, but suddenly, she too wanted to be impulsive. After spending over a decade treading carefully, having someone to share the burden with—and someone she loved at that—felt right.

She wouldn't evade her own feelings, nor would she betray the sincerity of the one she held dear.

"From now on, you must be loyal to me alone." She turned her head away, like a proud princess, yet her tone softened, and a smile she couldn't suppress danced at the corners of her eyes.

"As you command!"

(End of Chapter)