The Best Thing

Angelica Sinensis

The days that followed were as exhausting as ever. The endless classes, reports, and papers had pushed Shen Xifan's mood to rock bottom. She had long been warned that Cornell was "the university that steals four years of sleep," but only she truly knew the bitter taste of that suffering.

The January weather had suddenly turned cold, with a biting wind howling relentlessly. The usually bustling, lively campus had grown eerily quiet, as if mirroring the gloomy weather. She, too, became sullen and melancholy.

In just two days, it would be the Chinese Lunar New Year. Yet, in this small town in New York, an ocean away, there was no festive atmosphere—no red lanterns, no firecrackers, no crowds bustling about buying New Year goods, no dumplings or sweet rice balls.

No family, no blessings, and no company from him. Each day felt like a year.

The sky over Ithaca was a dull gray, heavy with the promise of snow, yet not a single flake had fallen. It pressed down on her heart, making the loneliness and solitude almost unbearable.

On days like this, all she wanted was to sink into deep sleep, not sit in a classroom discussing tedious project proposals in a teamwork session.

She couldn’t help but frown. Suddenly, a voice broke through her thoughts. "Serena, what do you think about this proposal?"

Her mind went blank for a moment before she forced herself back to the materials in front of her. Collecting her thoughts, she spoke slowly, covering everything from international chain hotel culture to management, and even adding some insights on Chinese hotel management concepts.

The team leader pondered for a moment, then nodded. "Well said. Though we don’t often hear you speak up. The points you made about hotel culture were particularly strong. How about you lead the discussion next time?"

Under the expectant gazes of her teammates, she gave an awkward smile and reluctantly agreed.

She still had an exam on Friday, new courses to prepare for next week, and an unfinished CareerTracks paper. Now, on top of it all, she had to lead a discussion—just adding insult to injury.

By the time the group meeting ended, her exhaustion and frayed nerves had left her on the verge of collapse.

Back in her dorm, she made herself a cup of tea and sat blankly by the window. Piles of reference materials lay scattered on the desk, but she had no idea where to start. She absentmindedly turned on her computer—MSN and QQ were flooded with New Year greetings. Former colleagues and friends had sent beautiful images and warm, funny holiday wishes, filling the screen.

So today was New Year’s Eve.

But there was no message from He Suye. Maybe he was still at the research institute. Maybe he wouldn’t even go home tonight. He had already told her his project was at a critical stage, so he might not have much time to spare for her. He had asked for her understanding. At the time, though she felt a little disappointed, she had reassured him that his research came first.

She called home. The thunderous sound of firecrackers nearly drowned out Shen's mother’s voice as she shouted, "Fanfan, your dad and I miss you so much! He hasn’t stopped talking about you these past few days. Your grandpa keeps asking when you’ll be back."

Her nose stung with tears, and she quickly replied, "I’ll be back in six months. It’ll pass quickly."Shen's mother sighed, "Never mind, let's not talk about it. It's the New Year after all. Fanfan, remember to eat dumplings tonight. Surely you have that there, right? What about tangyuan? Oh, and can you watch the Spring Festival Gala there?"

Of course, she couldn't say there was nothing here. Shen Xifan quickly nodded, "Yes, yes, we have everything. Don't worry, Mom, I'll eat well! We can watch the Spring Festival Gala too, it's live-streamed online. Please send my New Year greetings to Grandpa and the others. Okay, that's it, I'll hang up now!"

After putting down the phone, her mind was filled with images of past New Year celebrations. She remembered last year's New Year's Eve when she had drunk too much and inexplicably said things to He Suye that even she couldn't verify. Back then, the whole family was together, lively and happy.

Suddenly, her roommate called out, "Serena, there's a package for you. I forgot to tell you earlier—it's on the kitchen table."

Curious, she hurriedly stood up to fetch it. Upon carefully checking the address and name, she was surprised to find He Suye's English name written as the sender.

Carefully unwrapping the small box, her eyes fell upon a delicate accessory—a large black crystal surrounded by densely packed small white crystals, shimmering brilliantly under the dim light.

Only when she took it out did she realize it was a scarf ring, strikingly similar to the one she had broken before. She recalled that night when He Suye had comforted her, saying they could always buy another one later.

Her response at the time had been, "This was a gift from my grandmother, brought from France decades ago. I doubt I could find another one even if I searched all over America now. Forget it."

Yet he had managed to find one so similar for her.

At the bottom of the box was his note: "Happy Lunar New Year. Take care of yourself and rest well."

A faint smile curled at the corners of her lips—sweet and secretly delighted. She carefully placed the scarf ring back into the gift box, then picked up the delivery slip, tracing the familiar handwriting lightly with her fingers, as if she could still feel his warmth lingering there.

She rushed to her computer to leave him a message, typing a few words only to delete them, unable to find the right words to express her feelings. In the end, she simply wrote, "Happy New Year. The scarf ring is beautiful—thank you, I love it. Also, take care and don't overwork yourself." With a sigh, her gaze drifted back to the exquisitely wrapped little box.

Pursing her lips, she chuckled softly—just how much time had he spent searching for this little thing?

Outside the window, the dusk remained a dull gray, but the glowing lights brought her warmth. The orange radiance pierced through the haze of the night, mingling with the lamp on her desk like distant lovers gazing at each other from afar.

Yet the QQ avatar remained still for a long time, leaving her with fleeting hope followed by prolonged disappointment.

So she could only bury her longing deep in her heart, numbing herself with work and studies.

Friday's exam didn't go well. Shen Xifan kept feeling as though someone was singing beside her, unsettling her mind. She couldn't even spell several technical terms correctly and ended up hastily submitting her paper, leaving her fate to the heavens.

Saturday's group discussion went relatively smoothly, but during the Q&A, her teammates' sharp and tricky questions nearly drove her to the brink of collapse, forcing her to wrap things up hastily.Her thesis had run into problems as well. Despite burning the midnight oil for several nights, exhausting all available resources, and gritting her teeth through multiple revisions, her advisor had simply shaken his head upon submission, slashing a bold mark across it: "Not professional enough!"

It was about administrative management theory, and she immediately felt speechless. The theoretical knowledge in management was too abstract—sometimes even she couldn't grasp it, given that she wasn’t formally trained in the field. Simpler explanations were dismissed as unprofessional.

Shen Xifan was completely out of ideas. She obediently returned to the library to dig up more materials, but as she read, the letters on the page seemed to dance before her eyes. By the time she reached the end of a line, she had no idea what it meant. Drowsiness crept in, and her body slumped forward uncontrollably.

Hovering on the edge of exhaustion and confusion, she accidentally knocked her head against the thick edge of a book. The sharp pain made her gasp, but at least it jolted her fully awake.

Rubbing the sore spot, she was about to resume reading when she heard muffled laughter behind her. Turning around, she saw Lin Yishen standing there with a backpack and a stack of books, his eyes fixed on her thesis.

Shen Xifan couldn’t even muster the energy to lift her eyelids. She sighed heavily. "In the middle of revisions. Do not disturb."

Lin Yishen didn’t leave. Instead, he flipped roughly through her paper and asked, "What’s the issue?"

"The Operations Management theory section!" She propped her head up weakly, twirling her pen absentmindedly. "The advisor said it’s not professional, not professional! If I were a pro, I wouldn’t be studying MMH—I’d switch to an MBA."

Lin Yishen chuckled. "Such a small problem. Why didn’t you say so earlier? Maybe you just don’t take this formally trained senior seriously. This theory is way too demanding for you guys, but it’s a piece of cake for us. Here, copy your thesis for me—I’ll take a look."

Shen Xifan realized he had a point. Trying to perfect the theoretical section on her own was nearly impossible. She nodded and immediately handed over all her materials.

Lin Yishen studied her dazed expression and sighed. "How many nights have you been pulling? Your advisor really has no mercy. Fine, I’ll go through it right away. You go back and sleep. I’ll find you once it’s fixed."

She felt utterly drained, barely able to summon any energy, but she forced a weak joke. "Between exams and this thesis, I feel like I’ve aged ten years."

Lin Yishen rolled his eyes. "You look like you just crawled out of the ground. Go on, get some rest. I’ll catch up with you later."

She nodded, slung her bag over her shoulder, and waved as she left the library. Outside, the biting cold wrapped around her like a suffocating net. The sky over Ithaca grew darker, a leaden gray, as if snow were imminent.

Lin Yishen watched her retreating figure and sighed softly before returning to his seat. As he pulled out his laptop, his friend beside him finally snapped out of his daze. "That girl—at first glance, she looks a lot like your girlfriend!"

"What girlfriend? Since when do I have a girlfriend?" He shot his roommate a skeptical look.

"Hey, don’t play dumb! The petite one who came to see you last Christmas.""That's not my girlfriend, I already told you it's none of your business." Facing his friend's skeptical gaze again, he sighed, "It's too complicated to explain in a few words. Anyway, I'm partly to blame, okay?"

His friend persisted with the gossip, "That junior you mentioned before—wasn't she the girl just now? Weird, they really do look alike!"

Lin Yishen pointed at the computer, "Work, work. Stop muttering, or you won't finish the report and get scolded!"

She had no idea how long she'd been asleep, only feeling her whole body burning up while shivering uncontrollably from the cold. In the depths of her heavy, shallow dreams, everything was blank, yet she retained a sliver of awareness in reality.

She only knew her roommate had come to open the door and then left. Then, she heard faint, rustling sounds—soft, like the melody of falling snow.

Much later, the doorbell rang urgently. Shen Xifan jolted awake, opening her eyes to complete darkness in the room. After fumbling for a while, she managed to put on her shoes. The moment her feet touched the ground, her head throbbed painfully. Someone outside shouted, "Shen Xifan, are you there?"

It was Lin Yishen. She responded weakly and stumbled to the door. Lin Yishen stood outside, his hair dripping wet, slightly out of breath. "Why did you take so long to answer? There's no light in the dorm—I thought something had happened to you."

She mumbled vaguely, "Huh? Is it raining?"

"It's snowing!" Lin Yishen stepped inside and flipped the switch, flooding the room with light. Shen Xifan squinted at the window. "Oh, it really is snowing!"

He smiled and held up a stack of documents. "I’ve sorted them out. Take a look, and I’ll explain anything you don’t understand. Otherwise, if the advisor asks and you can’t answer, you’ll be in trouble."

Shen Xifan exhaled in relief. "Senior, I promise to offer you red eggs during festivals, burn three sticks of incense for you! Maybe even throw in some cured meat and sausages—you’re not a vegetarian, right?"

"Smart mouth!" Lin Yishen poked her forehead, only to jerk his hand back in surprise at the abnormal heat. "Shen Xifan, do you have a fever?"

She touched her forehead and nodded. "No wonder I feel so cold. I guess I’m a little feverish."

"Get into bed!" Lin Yishen frowned. "How can someone your age be so careless? Don’t you know how to take care of yourself? What has your advisor been putting you through? How many nights have you stayed up?"

"I’m fine, just a slight fever. No need to make a fuss!" Shen Xifan’s stubbornness flared up again. "Just show me the paper—I still need to revise it tonight and submit it tomorrow!"

Before she could finish, a wave of dizziness hit her. Her heart raced unbearably, her veins pulsing rapidly. She pressed a hand to her chest, waiting for the discomfort to ease.

Lin Yishen was alarmed. "Shen Xifan, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Should we go to the hospital? Lie down first!"

She nodded weakly. "I’ll lie down for a bit. My heart feels uncomfortable."

Pennsylvania University, CVI Research Institute.

The labs and archives were brightly lit. Data scrolled across computer screens, simulation images flashing by rapidly. Complaints in various languages occasionally erupted: "Wrong again! Damn this data!"He Suye was staring intently at his computer when suddenly his right eye began twitching violently.

Perhaps he was just too exhausted. Over the past half month, he'd barely slept three full days. Even lying down on a bed had become a luxury, let alone proper sleep. Everyone was pushing themselves to the limit to complete the research project, and he hadn't contacted Shen Xifan for a long time either.

It wasn't that he didn't want to—he simply couldn't.

Abruptly, the phone rang in the distance. In the silence, it sounded as if it were right beside his ear, ringing over and over with no one answering. The repeated rings carried an anxious urgency, like countless unspoken words desperate to be heard.

Someone from the next room called out, "He, your phone!"

Startled, he quickly stood up and answered. A familiar voice came through, restrained yet clearly angry. "He Suye, what exactly have you been busy with?"

Surprise and concern flooded him. "Lin Yishen! What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Shen Xifan has a fever and heart discomfort. What's going on? Should we send her to the hospital?"

Professional instinct immediately brought to mind a list of serious illnesses. His mind went blank for a moment, a chill running through his body. It felt as though a massive boulder had crashed into his heart, leaving him unsteady and filled with dread. His voice turned hoarse. "Is she in her dorm now? Any other symptoms like vomiting or difficulty breathing?"

"No other symptoms for now. She's lying in bed and has already fallen asleep. I noticed her complexion was terrible today, like she hasn't slept in days."

He let out a long breath, but the tension refused to ease. "Got it. I'm heading over right away!"

Lin Yishen hesitated. "There's heavy snow here, and it's so late—"

Before she could finish, He Suye cut in firmly, "It's fine. Keep an eye on her. If anything changes, take her to the hospital immediately. I'm on my way!"

Hanging up, he realized his palms were damp with sweat, his limbs stiff as if frozen. It took several attempts before he could move properly. After hastily updating his colleagues on his work progress, he grabbed his coat and rushed out of the research institute.

The gloomy sky pressed down on him, unsettling his breathing. Only one thought filled his mind: Shen Xifan, please don't let anything happen to you. Please. I'm coming right away.

Boundless darkness and loneliness surrounded her. The howling wind and falling snow filled her ears. Time stretched endlessly in her feverish haze. In her dream, that familiar figure walked through the blizzard, his handsome features as striking as ever, yet his entire being exuded an icy, lifeless aura that kept everyone at bay.

She ran toward him desperately, a bone-chilling fear gripping her heart. The distance between them seemed so close—close enough to reach out and touch—yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reach him. Helplessly, she watched as he slowly faded away, his footprints vanishing as though he had never been there at all.

She screamed his name, begging him not to leave her alone. The air was thick with despair and longing.

The vast world offered no response. Only the endless white snow continued to fall, the harsh, mournful wind piercing her ears. She stood alone in the snow, lost and directionless.

She didn't even know how to cry anymore—as if she had already gone numb.Slowly, word by word, she heard that anxious, mellow voice, "Hey, wake up, what's wrong?"

Warm liquid slid from the corner of her eye, falling into her hairline. Through blurred vision, she saw the man frowning, his eyes filled with worry and anxiety.

Unable to speak, tears simply flowed uncontrollably—not just because of the nightmare, but also as an outpouring of the depression and longing she had bottled up for days. His embrace was as warm as ever, and at that moment, she had only one thought: why was she always so fragile and tearful in front of him?

Outside the window, heavy snow painted the night sky a beautiful shade of blue, like the softest feathers from a white bird's wings drifting gracefully down—indescribably beautiful.

Everything in the world became vivid and beautiful, all because of this man before her. In that instant, she finally realized just how important he was.

Only after she had calmed down did He Suye ask, "How many days has it been since you last slept? This is exhaustion-induced fever. Lin Yishen’s description of your condition on the phone really startled me."

"Lin Yishen?" Shen Xifan widened her eyes. "He called you? How does he know you?"

"Because I'm his cousin's aunt's son's cousin's younger brother—" Lin Yishen pushed the door open and chimed in with a grin. "Didn’t expect that, did you? Turns out we’re actually somewhat related."

Shen Xifan looked to He Suye for help, and he nodded. "Honestly, I’m not entirely sure about the exact family ties either, but that’s basically how it is."

No wonder she had seen them talking intimately at the hotel before, and why Lin Yishen always wore a sly smile when mentioning "your boyfriend." So that was it—she scrutinized the two of them carefully. "You really do look somewhat alike!"

Lin Yishen chuckled. "Now that the real boyfriend is here, it’s time for this senior to leave. No need for a third wheel."

He Suye gently pressed Shen Xifan down. "Stay lying down. I’ll see him out."

At the stairway, Lin Yishen waved his hand. "No need to walk me out. Take good care of her—no need to thank me too much!"

He Suye smiled, a mix of apology and relief in his expression, and said sincerely, "Thank you."

Lin Yishen pursed his lips, hesitating as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he only sighed softly. "Forget it, forget it. We already said everything we needed to before I went abroad. Just don’t forget your promise."

His eyes were clear, his voice light but firm. "I’ll make her happy."

Lin Yishen narrowed his eyes at the heavy snow outside, a faint smile lingering on his lips—serene, lingering, as if a weight had been lifted.

After he left, Shen Xifan asked, "How did Lin Yishen find you? Your dorm doesn’t have a phone, does it?"

He replied casually, "He asked someone he knew to go straight to the research institute to find me."

Shen Xifan lowered her head. "I’m sorry, He Suye. I’m such a troublesome person. I’m really sorry."

Without warning, a soft kiss landed on her temple, tender and warm. He brushed aside her bangs and looked straight into her eyes. "I should be the one apologizing."

Just as the moment turned peaceful and sweet, her stomach growled loudly, shattering the mood. She flushed with embarrassment, but He Suye only laughed and ruffled her messy hair. "Get dressed properly. Time to eat."Perhaps because she had just recovered from a fever, the plain porridge tasted bland. She could only manage half a bowl before losing her appetite. He Suye insisted, "Eat a little more. You'll need to take medicine later, and an empty stomach won't absorb it well."

She grew curious, "What medicine? Do I really need it now that the fever's gone?"

"You're suffering from fatigue-induced fever. Didn't I tell you not to push yourself so hard? Your health wasn't good to begin with, and now it's worse after all this strain!" He Suye grew visibly anxious when discussing her condition, his frown deepening.

Curious, she asked, "What medicine will I need to take this time?"

"Gui Pi Tang—a decoction to nourish the heart and spleen, replenish qi, and generate blood. It contains astragalus, poria, white atractylodes, licorice, longan, Chinese angelica, polygala, costus root, and wolfberries," He Suye sighed. "Go rest for now. I'll wake you when the medicine is ready."

"But where do these herbs come from? Do they have Chinese herbal medicine in America?"

"There are Chinese pharmacies in Chinatown, and traditional Chinese medicine is quite popular among the Chinese community there. By the way, today is the third day of the Lunar New Year back home. It was quite lively when I went to Chinatown earlier."

She chuckled lightly, a childlike gleam in her eyes. "Do they have sugar-coated haws, steaming dumplings, and tangyuan? Are there dragon and lion dances, couplets, and 'fu' characters?"

"Missing home, aren't you?" He Suye took her hand. "If you'd like to go, I'll take you, but the New Year atmosphere is still best back in China."

Shen Xifan felt a sudden stir in her heart, but the words caught in her throat. Instead, she gently picked up the herb called Chinese angelica (danggui), placed it in her palm, and murmured, "In half a year, I'll be like this—returning home. What about you?"

"Silly girl!" He Suye laughed warmly. "What do you think?"

Danggui, danggui—"The weary wanderer should return home, longing most for the parents in the old house." She couldn't help but fall in love with the name.

Who was the ancient person who gave this herb such a name? Was it a loving mother yearning for her child's return, or a devoted wife awaiting her husband? Whoever it was, that sentiment, that longing, resonated deep within her heart.

Perhaps she was truly exhausted, or perhaps it was the effect of the herbal medicine, but drowsiness soon overwhelmed her. In her hazy state, she felt someone gently kiss her lips. She smiled faintly and drifted back to sleep.

And so, the night passed without dreams.

The next morning, she was awakened by the dawn light.

A world of white stretched before her, the dense sunlight reflecting off the snow with a soft halo—so pure, so flawless. Shen Xifan exhaled softly, feeling an indescribable lightness throughout her body.

But with such heavy snowfall, how had He Suye managed to come last night?

The rich aroma of rice wafted from the kitchen, abruptly cutting off her thoughts. She hurriedly slipped on her shoes and rushed to the kitchen, where she found He Suye holding bowls and chopsticks. Spotting her, he asked, "You're up. How are you feeling now?"

She touched her forehead and sighed in relief. "I'm fine. I feel much better now. What are you making? It smells amazing!"

"Vegetable congee." He Suye lifted the lid, prompting Shen Xifan to inhale deeply several times in satisfaction. He couldn't help but laugh. "Don't get too carried away, silly. Go freshen up first."

The vegetable congee was light yet fragrant, and she eagerly helped herself to a second bowl. He Suye watched her with an amused smile. "No need to eat so quickly. You might upset your stomach."

Because he had made it himself, it tasted especially delicious.

He had done so much for her, yet he still felt it wasn't enough, that he wasn't treating her well enough. Meanwhile, she harbored reservations, constantly fearing, worrying, and agonizing over their future. This illness, too, had sprung from the demons in her heart.The heavy academic workload was truly nothing; the ascetic, self-punishing lifestyle was merely a shameful manifestation of loneliness. It turned out she was lovesick—because of longing, she felt lonely, afraid, restless, helpless, and out of control. And he was the cure for her ailment.

If she owed him so much love, then she would spend a lifetime repaying it.

She set down her chopsticks, her gaze stubborn and sincere, and softly told him, enunciating each word clearly, "He Suye, I want—I want to be with you forever."

The hand holding the chopsticks trembled slightly, followed by the crisp sound of bowls and utensils clinking. A complex emotion surfaced in his eyes—joy, gratitude, or something else—Shen Xifan couldn't quite decipher it. She simply let him stand up, walk over to her, and gently embrace her.

He Suye whispered just one word into her ear, yet it felt more moving and sincere than any grand vow.

He said, "Okay!"

A promise for a lifetime.

This winter, in a foreign land far from home, she finally understood that in the world of love, happiness would always follow. In the world of love, there would always be enduring devotion and mutual support through thick and thin.

In such splendid years of youth, she met him, fell in love with him, and then decided to stay with him.

At this moment in time, fulfillment left no room for regret.

(The End)