Shine on Me

I left the new factory through the small door by the meeting room, walking along the narrow path between the old and new factory areas.

Before coming here, I had a vague premonition, but when everything actually happened, it still felt so absurd and bizarre.

Did he just imply that he had harbored the same feelings for me as I once had for him?

He... likes me?

How ridiculous.

What kind of affection would be so hard to confess?

What kind of affection would make the other person feel hated all along?

The opportunity for answers seemed right before me, but I found I had no interest left—I just wanted to get away from all of this completely.

In the distance, a huge setting sun hung in the gap between the old and new factory buildings, about to sink below the horizon. For a moment, the only sound in the empty path was my footsteps. Just a dozen meters ahead, I could leave this narrow passage, so I quickened my pace. But then, suddenly, rapid, heavy footsteps sounded behind me.

My heart skipped a beat.

The footsteps grew louder and closer, reaching me in an instant. Before I could react, someone grabbed my wrist from behind with startling force.

"Nie Xiguang."

I was spun around by the sheer strength, and Zhuang Xu's pale, gaunt face appeared before me once more, impossibly close. His hair was disheveled, his chest heaving violently.

"Nie Xiguang," he called my name again.

"I'm sorry. I know I've done many things wrong. I misunderstood you before, and I've always wanted to make up for it. I thought I could start over in Shanghai—I thought there was still time. But after graduation, you just disappeared. I searched everywhere for you. I thought you'd gone abroad. I only changed my Nanjing phone number last month. But you said it yourself—at graduation, you said Big Grape would come back." His words were disjointed, breathless from running, his eyes fixed on me with a desperate, reckless resolve.

For a moment, I was too stunned to process his meaning, only wanting to wrench my wrist free. "Let go of me."

He ignored me, tightening his grip instead. "I know I shouldn't have come. You're with someone else now. When I was sick, I told myself countless times—don’t humiliate yourself. I’ve always been afraid of losing. But Nie Xiguang, I’ve already lost everything. What more is there to lose?"

"Do you think I’ve lost my mind now? Of course I have. Otherwise, how could I not hold back? I would have. Nie Xiguang, I’ve been holding back all this time. But why did you have to tell me you weren’t together on New Year’s? How am I supposed to accept that?! Why do I always miss my chance? The world isn’t fair to me. You aren’t fair to me."

"What does it matter whether you accept it or not?!" I finally shouted, mustering all my strength to shake off his hand. I took a step back, pressing against the wall, watching him warily.

Our eyes met, and he looked down at his hand, a flicker of pain crossing his gaze.

I steadied myself slightly. "If you think back, can’t you remember why I ‘lied’ to you on New Year’s? A top-tier investment banker like you can’t be that forgetful.""I don't understand why you think you like me. Is that what you're trying to say? If so, it's something I'd need a long time to process. But none of that matters now. I already have a boyfriend, and I'm absolutely certain I want to spend the rest of my life with him—without any hesitation. So please maintain the distance of a university alumnus and don't say these inappropriate things to me."

"Inappropriate?" He slowly raised his eyes, smiling bitterly. "You're calling this inappropriate now? Wasn't it you who was inappropriate from the start? You knew it wasn't right, yet you stubbornly forced your way into my life, only to disappear completely after I surrendered. If you could be inappropriate back then, why can't I now?!"

How dare he say that! A surge of anger flared in my chest. "Stop lying to yourself, Zhuang Xu."

"Was it really so hard to find someone? If the phone didn't work, were there no other ways? I once felt your 'affection' too, but it was you—you who outright denied it. What right do you have to come to me now and say these things? Don't you find it ridiculous?"

"You say you misunderstood me. How could you misunderstand me? Because of what others said? But we spent an entire summer and a semester together. I did so many things, said so many words—didn't you see or hear any of it? With your intelligence and emotional intelligence, could you really not understand? You just didn’t want to. You just took me for granted."

"Da Putao, I didn’t know you were talking about me back then. But even if I had understood, why should I have been the one to come back?!"

I glared at him fiercely, a mix of sorrow and indignation spreading through me. My eyes even grew moist, but I knew it wasn’t for him—it was for my younger self, full of sincerity and passion, yet misunderstood at every turn.

"So there was never any 'missed chance.' Even if there hadn’t been that misunderstanding on New Year's Day, I would have chosen him. No—it wasn’t even a choice."

Though he had once told me to pick.

Through glistening tears, I curved my lips into a smile. "The moment he appeared in my life, the moment he honestly said he liked me, there was no choice to make. I was always going to be with him."

Zhuang Xu seemed stunned, staring at me blankly. I blinked away the tears threatening to spill and turned away decisively without another word.

Walking briskly through the narrow path under the setting sun, I turned right onto the main road leading back to the office area. But the moment I rounded the corner, I froze.

Not far ahead, at the entrance of the new factory, was a familiar car.

It was Lin Yusen’s car.

I broke into a sprint.

When had he arrived? How long had he been waiting here?

On my way to the factory, I had texted him:

"The people from Bank A came for a post-loan inspection today. One of them happens to be my university classmate, Zhuang Xu. The manager asked me to accompany him to show them around the factory. Just letting you know."

He had replied quickly: "Okay, got it."

So confident, so trusting.

I hadn’t expected him to drive here to find me.

I ran straight to the car. Lin Yusen was indeed inside.

He was leaning back in the seat, lost in thought, and didn’t notice me at first. After catching my breath, I tapped on the window. Only then did he startle and turn to look at me.He rolled down the car window, and as I looked at him, I suddenly found myself at a loss for words. Lin Yusen seemed to be the same. After a few seconds of silence between us, I spoke first: "Lin Yusen, I—"

"Sorry, it's not that I don't trust you," he interrupted with a faint smile. "I do trust you, but I just can't sit still."

In that instant, it felt like something had violently struck my heart. A pang of sorrow instantly filled my chest. I desperately wanted to say something, but I knew that at this moment, any words would sound hollow.

"Can you come a little closer?" I asked him.

With a puzzled expression, he leaned in slightly.

It still wasn't close enough, but I couldn't wait any longer. I bent down, leaned into the car window, and lightly pressed a kiss to his lips—quick and fleeting—before pulling back hastily, nearly bumping my head.

Pretending to be composed, I asked him, "Still?"

Still unable to sit still?

Lin Yusen looked at me, and slowly, that faint smile at the corners of his lips finally reached his eyes. "Not when I'm sitting anymore."

What?

Before I could react, Lin Yusen had already pushed open the car door and stepped out. His tall, slender frame stood before me, and then his long arms reached out, pulling me into an embrace.

I understood immediately. I thought he would lower his head to kiss me and then tell me that standing like this wouldn’t make him uneasy anymore.

But instead, he simply held me tightly in his arms, letting out a long sigh as if he had finally relaxed completely.

"Now I'm completely at ease," he said.

My heart ached unbearably, and I couldn't help but whisper, "I'm sorry."

"Why say sorry? You've already done more than enough."

"Mhm," I responded softly, wrapping my arms around him in return.

Enveloped in his familiar warmth, my emotions gradually settled.

The person holding me seemed still for a moment. When I looked up, his gaze was fixed on something behind me. Noticing my movement, he lowered his head and asked gently, "All settled?"

Following his line of sight, I glanced back and hesitated before saying, "I want to say a few more words to him."

Zhuang Xu had stepped out of the alleyway at some point. He seemed to have calmed down, standing at the exit, his gaze unwavering as I approached, his posture even more proud and rigid. The setting sun cast a long, solitary shadow beside him.

I stopped a few steps away from him and said, "Zhuang Xu, you don't like me. Liking someone isn't like this—it's just your misconception."

I wasn’t sure how to phrase it, so I simply described it in the simplest terms: "Liking someone means wanting to give them everything good, being careful not to say or do anything wrong, afraid they might misunderstand or dislike you. It means doing everything to make them happy, irrationally glorifying everything they do, never thinking ill of them."

Zhuang Xu asked, "Is that how you feel about him?"

After a long silence, I finally whispered, "No. That was how I once felt about you."

His figure seemed to freeze in that instant.

"He never makes me feel like I have to be careful," I told him. "Goodbye."

With that, I turned and ran back to Lin Yusen.