Shine on Me

So, at six in the morning in the dead of winter, I stood on the platform of Wuxi’s high-speed rail station, holding in my hand the most famous—and most notorious—sweet meat-filled dumplings from Wuxi that have tormented countless tourists.

With just over ten days left until the Spring Festival, the train station was packed, the platform bustling with people. Standing among the crowd, I tiptoed to peer in the direction the train would come from, my heart fluttering nervously.

Would Lin Yusen find it strange to see me waiting for him on the platform? Normally, people wait at the exit, right? But here I was, standing on the platform—was this too much?

Should I run to the exit now?

While I was still hesitating, the train arrived. The white train roared past me, gradually slowing down until, through the windows, I could see the passengers inside.

I saw Lin Yusen.

I don’t know how I recognized him at a glance—it was just a fleeting glimpse of his profile.

But before I knew it, I was already running alongside that carriage.

The train had slowed to a crawl, so his figure remained in my line of sight. I watched as he stood up, took a black suitcase from the overhead rack, and then a woman in a blue coat seemed to say something to him. He nodded and took down a red suitcase as well.

The train came to a complete stop.

The doors opened, and passengers began filing out. When that familiar tall figure stepped out of the carriage, I instinctively ducked behind a pillar.

By the time I realized the exit wasn’t in this direction, Lin Yusen was already quite far ahead. I hurried to catch up, quietly trailing behind him…

Honestly, what was I even doing?

Soon, I noticed I wasn’t the only one following him—the woman in blue had caught up to him too. Faintly, I heard her thanking him.

“Thank you for helping me with my suitcase earlier. It was so heavy, I wouldn’t have been able to carry it myself.”

Lin Yusen gave a slight nod but said nothing.

Listening from a distance, I suddenly felt a strange sense of pride—he was here because of me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have stopped here at all, let alone helped you with your luggage.

But then I immediately felt ashamed of this inexplicable pride.

The woman in blue seemed to want to say more, but Lin Yusen’s aloof demeanor made her hesitate, and she awkwardly walked away in another direction.

Following behind him, watching him effortlessly brush off that eager woman, I couldn’t help but feel happy, my steps suddenly lighter.

It suddenly occurred to me that secretly trailing behind him, freely admiring his tall, straight figure, was actually quite enjoyable. So I decided not to call out to him just yet—I’d keep following for now.

But no sooner had I made this decision than the person ahead abruptly stopped.

He turned around sharply, his gaze landing directly on me.

For a long moment, he just stared. Then he strode toward me, his eyes fixed on my face as if to confirm, “Nie Xiguang?”

……

How on earth had he noticed me?

I looked up at him. “Yeah.”

“What are you doing here?”I deliberately looked around, avoiding his gaze. "You have no idea how cold it is at the exit. I was freezing even in my coat, so I just bought a ticket and waited in the lounge where there's heating. Then since they started checking tickets, I followed along. What if the train couldn't depart because one ticket wasn't punched?"

I expected him to retort that trains aren't like planes and don't wait for people, but surprisingly, he put on an expression of agreement. "You're right. Miss Nie's ticket is so important—how could the train dare leave without punching it?"

"...Hey!"

He smiled slightly. "Didn't I tell you 8 o'clock?"

I snorted. He actually dared bring that up himself.

"You did say 8 o'clock, but I checked the train schedule. The trains from there arrive at either 6 a.m. or 10 a.m.—there isn't one at 8. Why did you lie to me?"

Before asking this, I had already imagined possible answers, like... "I didn't want you to have to wake up too early" or something...

But instead, he sighed and said, "I was afraid you'd say, 'Lin Yusen, forget it, it's too early and I can't get up. Just go back to Suzhou by yourself.'"

I couldn't help feeling both annoyed and amused. "I would never say that!"

"Mm, now I know," he said, looking at me seriously.

I thought I'd feel awkward seeing him again, but just now, it felt completely natural, as easy and relaxed as before. Yet under his gaze now, I suddenly didn't know what to do with my hands and feet.

I averted my eyes slightly and teased, "By the way, impressive."

"What?"

"I saw it earlier—the girl in blue."

He laughed. "Does that earn me points or lose me points?"

It took me a moment to understand what he meant, and I immediately felt flustered. "What points? I'm bad at math..."

Before he could say more, I shoved the box in my hands at him. "Here, I bought you some xiaolongbao."

The steaming dumplings had long since turned into little frozen lumps. Buying xiaolongbao for someone in the middle of winter was pretty silly, but... well, I just had a momentary lapse of judgment.

"There's a nice café next to the exit. Let's eat there."

"Okay."

He agreed so quickly that I felt the need to warn him. "They're very sweet, you know."

He smiled. "Really? That's perfect for now."

I lowered my head, afraid the smile tugging at my lips would betray the emotions surging inside me. "Let's go!"

This time, I ran ahead.

Perhaps because it was so early, the café was quiet, with only a few customers.

The server kindly reheated the xiaolongbao for us and even thoughtfully brought some vinegar, which surprised me. After breakfast, we walked slowly toward the parking lot.

"Do you want to go anywhere? There's not much to do in Wuxi, and Taihu Lake is too cold now." I racked my brain for attractions. "We could see the Ling Shan Buddhist Palace—at least the dome is beautiful. Or maybe the Three Kingdoms City or Water Margin City? Otherwise, there's Turtle Head Isle..."

I rambled on until his voice interrupted me.

"I always thought you'd take me to see the plum blossoms."

I stopped abruptly.Thinking about how he wrote in the letter about being overjoyed upon receiving my invitation to admire the plum blossoms, my heart couldn't help but ache. Taking a deep breath of the cold air, I deliberately said cheerfully, "Alright, let's go to the Plum Garden. The tickets there are the cheapest—you're helping me save money."

I had driven here myself. Actually, I'd ridden in Lin Yusen's car many times before, but after reading his letter, I suddenly didn't want him to drive anymore—I just felt uneasy about it. So when we reached the parking lot, I decisively took the driver's seat first.

True to form, Lin Yusen didn't obediently go to the passenger seat. Instead, he stood outside the driver's door, leaned down, and politely tapped on the window.

I rolled it down.

"There's snow on the roads outside. I should drive."

"It's not that I don't trust your driving skills..." I had planned to casually make up an excuse to dissuade him, but then it occurred to me that we might have many more outings together in the future. I couldn't keep making excuses every time, so I immediately changed my tone and said seriously, "...I really don't trust your driving skills that much == "

It must have hurt his pride too much... He was momentarily speechless, looking at me with an expression that seemed torn between amusement and exasperation before sighing.

I urged him, "Get in the car, or the plum blossoms will have wilted by the time we get there."

Confidently, I navigated the winding roads of Wuxi, driving carefully and seriously along every street. But as I drove, something suddenly felt off... The shimmering lake ahead—was that Taihu Lake? How had I ended up by the lakeshore?

I slowly pulled over to the side of the road and took out my phone. Before I could even open the map app, the person beside me calmly said, "You took a wrong turn at the last intersection."

I silently turned to look at him.

"The road sign indicated you should take the right lane, but you went straight."

"...Why didn't you say something earlier..."

"Oh," he said with mock seriousness. "I thought someone who'd been looked down on wasn't qualified to give directions."

My expression must have been quite strange, because Lin Yusen looked at me and couldn't hold back a laugh.

Now thoroughly embarrassed and annoyed, I turned the steering wheel to head back, but Lin Yusen stopped me.

"Don't turn back. This place is perfect."

"What?"

Lin Yusen said, "Look over there."

Following his gaze, I saw vast stretches of red clouds in the distance—plum blossoms in full bloom.

I drove a little farther and parked on a small path by the roadside. As soon as I stepped out of the car, I was greeted by a vast grove of plum trees.

I hadn't realized so many plum trees had been planted along Taihu Lake. It was peak blooming season, and the freshly fallen snow lightly dusted the blossoms, which bloomed quietly yet brilliantly in this secluded lakeside spot.

The waters of Taihu lapped gently against the shore.

Lin Yusen and I walked silently among the plum trees, neither of us speaking for a while, the only sound the crunch of our shoes on the snow.

"So, you always thought I was the one who invited you to see the plum blossoms two years ago? That's why you treated me that way when we first met at the company?"

Lin Yusen took a moment before answering. "Yes."

"Then why later..." I trailed off. "Even though in your heart, you believed I had abandoned you."

"I had no choice."

I stopped and looked at him."I came up with many reasons to convince myself—maybe Jiaqi didn’t explain clearly, maybe you were too young back then and couldn’t face something so heavy, so you chose to forget it. There have been medical cases like that. Or maybe you didn’t know my Chinese name—Jiaqi introduced me as Vincent, and you happened to forget what I looked like, so you couldn’t connect me to the person from two years ago... I thought of so many reasons, each full of holes, but I forced myself to believe every one of them. Otherwise, how could I allow myself to pursue you again?"

"Not touching at all!" I really wanted to throw a snowball at him. "You didn’t even ask me before pinning the blame on me. Do I seem like that kind of person?"

"You’re not." He let out a heavy sigh. "But Xiguang, apart from you, I never imagined it could be anyone else. From the very beginning, I never doubted it was you."

"I’m sorry," he said.

"If my father hadn’t accidentally exposed this, would you have kept it from me forever?"

Lin Yusen didn’t answer, clearly admitting it silently.

I couldn’t help feeling frustrated, but beyond that, a softer ache welled up inside me. There was actually someone willing to bear the pain alone for me, willing to remain unchanged even after believing I had let him down...

A breeze from the lake swept by, shaking the snow off the plum blossoms.

"Why did you run off so far without a word these past few days?"

You made me... so worried.

"How was I supposed to face you?" His voice was rough. "I always thought it was because of you that I could no longer hold a scalpel. I finally convinced myself to accept it willingly, only to realize in the end that it was because of some unrelated person, a mistake?"

He laughed bitterly. "I don’t even know how to explain it to myself."

"My life has turned into a joke."

A dull pain throbbed in my chest.

Yet, for a moment, I couldn’t find a single word of comfort—as if language had suddenly failed me, everything feeling hollow and inadequate.

"Nie Xiguang, when did you meet him?"

I froze before realizing he was talking about Zhuang Xu. I didn’t know why he was asking, but I answered anyway, "The summer before my senior year."

"A year and a half." A faint, bitter smile touched his lips. "These past few days, I kept thinking about what you said."

"...What?"

"You said, ‘If only I had met you first.’ But now, I wish I had been the one to meet you later. Then I wouldn’t resent it, wouldn’t keep thinking that if not for this twist of fate, we would have been together long ago. But," he said, "it turns out I did meet you first."

I didn’t understand what kind of magic those words held—so plain yet piercing me instantly. Together with his earlier statement—"My life has turned into a joke"—they made me unbearably sad. Before I knew it, the words burst out of me.

"From now on, I’ll be with you."

For a moment, he looked stunned, his gaze flickering as if ignited by something fervent and heart-stirring. But just as quickly, that light faded. "Xiguang, I want us to be together, but not because of a momentary impulse."

Stubbornly, I said, "It is a momentary impulse. Do you want it or not?"He gazed at me quietly, then as if conceding defeat, suddenly pulled me into his embrace and held me tightly.

His coat was slightly cold, but soon his arms grew warm. I could hear my own heart pounding nervously, yet I didn't want to break free at all.

After a long while, I heard him say firmly by my ear, "I do."

Then he repeated it once more, his voice carrying a faint weariness, "I do."