Shine on Me

"You pig."

The one speaking was the eldest sister—apparently, I wasn’t the only one with that thought.

Siliang chuckled and steered the conversation back. "There’s a Shanghai job fair during May Day. Rong Rong, are you going?"

"Why ask? Of course I am." Rong Rong set her chopsticks down gracefully. "Shanghai has more opportunities and room for growth. I’ve been sending out resumes there for a while."

Siliang blinked. "We didn’t imply anything. Why are you so quick to defend yourself?"

I finally managed to stuff the thoroughly abused piece of pork knuckle into my mouth. Suddenly, the meal felt dull and endless—maybe because I’d already eaten too much earlier. My gaze involuntarily drifted to Zhuang Xu. He was turned slightly, talking to Siliang’s boyfriend Zhuohui and didn’t seem to notice the girls’ conversation.

It took a full hour before everyone emerged from the private room, satisfied and tipsy. Zhuang Xu went to the front desk to settle the bill. I deliberately lagged behind, keeping my distance because, to my horror, I’d started hiccuping.

==

To leave the restaurant, I had to pass the front desk where Zhuang Xu was paying. Covering my mouth, I tried to hurry past, but my throat betrayed me with two loud, unmistakable hiccups.

I froze, staring at Zhuang Xu’s straight-backed figure.

You didn’t hear that, didn’t hear it. Please don’t turn around…

But luck wasn’t on my side. Zhuang Xu glanced back mid-transaction, saw it was me, and calmly turned away again.

I rushed outside, mortified.

Outside, the eldest sister and Xiaofeng mercilessly teased me, doubling my frustration. Siliang and the others were discussing where to go next when Zhuang Xu stepped out. Usually a man of few words, he unexpectedly suggested, "Let’s go sing karaoke."

"Wow, Zhuang Xu, feeling generous today? Karaoke’s expensive at this hour."

"Yeah, weren’t we just going to a teahouse to play cards or hit the night market?"

"Just a whim," Zhuang Xu said, then suddenly glanced at me, his eyes deep as a pool, a faint smile playing at his lips.

I stiffened.

Everyone else cheered enthusiastically—except Xiaofeng. "No way. Xiguang’s stuffed and hiccuping nonstop. How’s she gonna sing?"

Right. In this state, would I hiccup after every line? The thought alone was ridiculous.

Zhuang Xu knew that. So… was this deliberate? The idea made me flush with embarrassment.

Then again, maybe he just hadn’t considered it. I shouldn’t overthink it—he wouldn’t go that far. But what was that look about?

At Xiaofeng’s words, the group’s mood dampened. The eldest sister pinched me. "Always causing trouble. Stop hiccuping."

"Ah, I’ll skip. You guys go ahead," I said.

"What’ll you do alone?" Siliang asked.

"I—" Just as I searched for an excuse, my phone rang. I quickly stepped away to answer.

It was my uncle.

"Xiguang, your mom said you’re back in Nanjing. Why didn’t you call me?"

"I just got here. There was a class reunion."

"Done now? Come stay at my place tonight. I’ve had everything prepared."

"Oh… I’ll head over."

After a few more words, I hung up and turned back. The group was laughing again, the atmosphere easy and natural. Thinking of the earlier tension, maybe it was better if I didn’t join them.Perhaps I shouldn't have moved back to the dorm half a year ago.

"I'm not going," I said. "I'm going to my relative's place."

I couldn't help but glance at Zhuang Xu, thinking he might feel relieved by my words, only to see him turn his head away, seemingly without any extra emotion, the smile at the corners of his mouth already gone cold.

"Can't you go later?" Siliang tried to persuade me to stay.

"Forget it, the ride was exhausting. I don't have the energy to hang out." I waved my hand. "I'm leaving first, bye."

After saying goodbye to them, I slowly walked to the bus stop. Buses came one after another, but the 12X I was waiting for never arrived. Nanjing buses sometimes like to come in clusters—none for a long time, then several all at once.

While waiting, my phone rang again. This time it was my cousin calling.

"Sis, you haven't boarded yet, right?"

"No."

"Don't forget to bring my MP3 player. How many times have you forgotten already?"

"Sigh~" Right, he'd lent me his MP3 player long ago, and every time I promised to return it, I forgot. But the MP3 was in the dorm—did I really have to make a special trip back to get it?

"Can I bring it to you next time?" I tried to negotiate.

"No," my cousin said firmly. "Because you have middle-aged amnesia. There's always a 'next time' with you. I don't trust you."

Middle-aged amnesia...

At my age, it should at least be "teenage amnesia"—what a brat who needs to be taught a lesson.

Reluctantly, I headed back to the dorm. Luckily, it wasn't too far from the bus stop, though I had to climb four flights of stairs.

My bed was the upper bunk by the window. Like all the other beds, it had curtains hung around it, creating a private little space. Originally, I hadn't hung any, but since everyone else did, not having them made me the odd one out.

Climbing onto the bed and rummaging for the MP3, I heard the dorm door open again. It was Siliang's voice. "After all that, we're just going shopping."

"The KTV was fully booked. It's not even the weekend—why are there so many people? No wonder Zhuang Xu has been in a bad mood all day."

That was Xiaofeng's voice. Strange, why were they back too?

"Hurry up and change your shoes. They're waiting for us downstairs."

"Wait, let me grab a light jacket from my bed. It'll get cold tonight."

"You and your extra needs."

Through the gap in the curtains, I saw Siliang and Rong Rong sitting on their beds changing into sneakers, while Xiaofeng was climbing onto her own bed.

I was about to call out to them when I suddenly heard Siliang ask, "Rong Rong, what happened between you and Zhuang Xu today? You didn't even say a word to each other."

My heart inexplicably skipped a beat, and I stayed silent.

Rong Rong chuckled lightly. "What's our relationship? Who says we have to talk?"

"What's your relationship?! The golden couple of A University's Business School, recognized by everyone. Rong Rong, I really don't get what you two are doing. It's obvious you both like each other, yet neither of you will say it. If you'd just been upfront earlier, back then, Watermelon wouldn't have..." Xiaofeng trailed off with a soft huff.

Siliang's tone was much gentler. "What exactly are you planning to do? Keep dragging it out like this? You're about to graduate. Rong Rong, you're both too proud. Sometimes taking a step back first doesn't mean you've lost."

After a long pause, Rong Rong's voice, tinged with self-mockery, finally came. "The Ye Rong today is still the same Ye Rong from back then. But do you really think the Zhuang Xu today is still that same Zhuang Xu?"

Xiaofeng sounded confused. "What do you mean? Are you saying Zhuang Xu would look down on you just because he earns eight thousand a month now?"Siliang seemed to understand as she asked, "Rong Rong, are you regretting it now?"

Rong Rong stood up. "Xiaofeng, have you got your clothes ready? Let's go."

After they left, I searched for a while longer before finding my MP3 player. Then I left the dormitory, choosing not to take the bus but instead walking slowly toward my uncle's house.

My uncle's place wasn't far—just a 15-minute bus ride from A University. The area around A University wasn't particularly bustling, but my uncle's neighborhood, fifteen minutes away by car, was undeniably an affluent district.

From freshman to junior year, I lived there for three years.

Both my uncle and aunt were businesspeople, constantly flying around the country. Although they had hired a nanny to look after my cousin, they were still worried he might pick up bad habits. So when they heard I had been admitted to A University, my uncle immediately insisted I move in with them.

As a result, I only stayed on campus during the freshman military training and the first month of school before moving straight to my uncle's house for the convenience of laundry and the nanny.

It wasn't until the start of my senior year that I moved back to the dorm. My excuse to my uncle was that it would be more convenient for job hunting and using the library to write my thesis, but my cousin privately teased that I had "ulterior motives."

This was the first time my cousin, who had never passed a Chinese language exam, had used an idiom so aptly.

Back then, during the summer break of my junior year, I had just met Zhuang Xu, who was tutoring my cousin, and learned that he was also a student at A University's Business School.