Тhаt dау еnded so abruрtlу. Wei Qingyuе hardly glаnсеd аt hеr frоm start to finish, didn't sаy a word to her, and disарpеarеd intо thе сrowd оnсе mоrе.
Hоw could therе nоt be rumоrs and gossip?
Fоod was sсatterеd аll оvеr thе flооr, a cоmрletе mеss. Jiаng Du askеd the саfeteriа аuntie fоr a broom аnd dustpan. Wang Jingjing wаs аbоut to hеlp her clеаn uр when Lin Наiуаng suddеnlу aррeаred оut of nowhеre, rushing tо dо thе clеаning himsеlf.
"Yоu two are аs skinny as little chicks, I'll hаndle it," Lin Haiуang said, hоlding a mор. Hе grinned, still joking around like before.
It was only then that Jiang Du realized for the first time that Lin Haiyang always seemed to appear out of nowhere. How strange.
The two days of the college entrance exam, so important, passed just like any ordinary day—sunrise and sunset. The school gate was crowded with parents seeing their children off for the exams, traffic police maintained order, and a long line of volunteer taxis for exam takers was parked along the roadside. This was a nationwide event, but no matter how big the occasion, when it happened, the sun remained the same sun, the sky remained the same sky, indifferent to the affairs of the world.
On the evening of the 8th, the first and second-year students resumed their evening self-study sessions. The school buildings were brightly lit. The graduating seniors stood upstairs tearing up their books, the pages fluttering down like snowflakes. Some shouted confessions, yelling, "XXX, I like you!" while others cried, "Farewell, see you at Mei Zhong!" The air of freedom seemed to rush right into the faces of the graduating seniors.
The entire teaching building was in chaos, with no one to control it. The corridors and railings were packed with first and second-year students watching the graduating seniors go wild. The lights reflected in their eyes, deep in their pupils—fragments of books, unrestrained smiles, and an indescribable envy.
The classroom was nearly empty, as everyone had stepped outside. Jiang Du and her deskmate Zhu Yulong remained seated, unmoving. Zhu Yulong was watching a movie on an MP4 player. It was too noisy outside to study properly. She had a diary where she liked to jot down movie quotes.
You have to understand, under the pressure of the college entrance exam, teenagers restricted from the internet, from beauty, forced to wear uniforms, how desperately they craved outside information and spiritual nourishment. Yet, if they indulged too much, it felt sinful. Only at moments like this could watching a movie feel justified.
Jiang Du didn't even have the heart to watch a movie. She was organizing her notes for the liberal arts subjects.
As she raised her hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, she noticed Zhu Yulong seemed to be looking at her. Jiang Du lifted her gaze, and Zhu Yulong met her eyes, her expression still calm. She rarely spoke and seemed difficult to get along with. Now Jiang Du knew that wasn't the case.
Jiang Du smiled. Zhu Yulong didn't return the smile, her earphones still in place. She looked away and continued watching her movie.
This small incident didn't linger in Jiang Du's mind, though she didn't know why Zhu Yulong had been staring at her.
"Do you have one?" Jiang Du suddenly noticed something unusual. Her period was irregular, and she cautiously nudged Zhu Yulong.
The girl took off her earphones. "What's wrong?"
"Do you have one? I think mine just started," Jiang Du said awkwardly. "I forgot to buy some. I'll get some tomorrow."
"Not in the classroom, but there are some in the dorm. Do you need one now?" Zhu Yulong paused the movie.
Jiang Du quickly waved her hand. "No, it's fine. Can you lend me a couple after evening self-study? I'll return them tomorrow."
"Sure," Zhu Yulong replied, putting her earphones back on. She didn't offer the polite "no need to return them."Jiang Du still wanted to discuss something, but the words lingered on the tip of her tongue before she hesitantly swallowed them back down.
Since classes resumed, she had always been afraid to do anything alone—going to the cafeteria, fetching hot water, using the restroom. She didn’t dare take a single step beyond the school gate. It felt as though countless eyes were lurking in the corners, and the moment she appeared, those gazes would cling to her like a layer of sweat in the summer—uncomfortable and suffocating.
There were many people outside, and she needed to use the restroom. Tearing a long strip of toilet paper from the drawer and folding it into a small square, Jiang Du clutched it tightly in her hand and mustered the courage to step out.
She hurried through the noisy crowd, head lowered like a guilty thief, her only thought to reach the restroom as quickly as possible.
The corridor, filled with shifting shadows, seemed endlessly long, but surely she would make it through, wouldn’t she? Jiang Du glanced back, took a deep breath, and lifted her face to gaze at the brightly lit teaching building. A scrap of paper brushed past her cheek.
I’ll have my day too. Keep going, she silently told herself.
The next day, the senior students left the school, and the campus returned to order. During the long break for morning exercises, Jiang Du, as usual, did not participate. Instead, she stayed in the classroom, wrestling with how to go alone to the school gate to buy sanitary pads.
Just as she had finally gathered enough courage, Zhu Yulong suddenly rushed into the classroom, panting heavily. She looked at Jiang Du and asked, “You’re going to the supermarket at the gate to buy that, aren’t you?”
Jiang Du was a bit surprised but nodded.
“Give me the money, I’ll buy it for you,” Zhu Yulong said, her face flushed from running. “Don’t go near the school gate if you don’t have to.”
“It’s fine, I can’t keep troubling you,” Jiang Du gently refused, offering Zhu Yulong a soft smile. “But thank you anyway.”
“Don’t go, Jiang Du,” Zhu Yulong’s expression turned uneasy. “Let me buy it for you.”
Jiang Du looked at her for a moment before asking quietly, “Is that person at the school gate?”
Zhu Yulong hesitated but finally told her, “Yes. I heard from the teachers that this person was detained, but somehow he’s back at the school gate spouting nonsense. Don’t go out if you don’t have to, and don’t pay him any attention.”
She knew everything—she knew exactly what was going on.
Jiang Du’s shoulders trembled slightly. Without another word, she took out the money and handed it to Zhu Yulong.
Suddenly, a wave of nausea washed over her. Covering her mouth, she hurried downstairs alone after Zhu Yulong left.
Reaching the restroom, she quickly shut the door behind her, only to find she couldn’t vomit anything. Squatting beside the toilet, she accidentally stepped into a splash of yellow urine and felt nothing but disgust.
Outside, it seemed some girls had entered. At this time, with the campus music blaring loudly, there were always those who skipped morning exercises under the pretense of using the restroom.
“Why is that man back again? It’s terrifying.”
“Exactly, what a pervert. It’s making everyone uneasy. Why hasn’t that girl from the humanities experimental class transferred yet? If she doesn’t leave, our school will never have peace.”
“How could she bear to transfer? She worked so hard to get into Mei Zhong and made it into the experimental class. She must be unwilling. But what really happened with her mom? If you listen to that pervert, he says her mom wore a skirt on purpose to seduce him and then falsely accused him of rape. Could it actually be true?”
“Maybe. Otherwise, who would give birth to a rapist’s child? I don’t get it. Ugh, it’s so annoying. My mom’s been worried about me lately too—she even comes to pick me up after school on Fridays.”"Add one, my mom's been insisting on picking me up lately too. Hope that person transfers soon so we'll be safe. Luckily she's not a boy, otherwise she might inherit the □□ too, really scary."
"Exactly, right? By the way, during these two days off for the college entrance exam, I got caught playing computer games at home by my mom and got scolded badly. Once the exams are over, I'm definitely pulling all-nighters every day."
"Haha, that's my plan too."
The chatter, the laughter, the faucet being turned on and off again—Jiang Du heard every sound clearly. The restroom became quiet once more, as if something had sunk to the bottom with a dull thud, gray and cold. Suddenly, tears streamed down her face.
In over a decade of imagining her parents ten thousand times, never once had it been like this.
Ugly, disgusting, like the puddle of urine beneath her feet.
She felt she had become just like that.
She wondered if others saw her the way she had accidentally stepped in it earlier—real disgust, real filth.
All the self-reassurance of these past days could collapse in an instant.
When Jiang Du walked out, the glaring white sunlight stung her eyes. She squinted: How had it come to this?
Everything had been fine, so how had it come to this?
There was no going back, was there?
She didn't even have the right to write to Wei Qingyue anymore. She was dirty.
It felt as if even the pure moonlight outside the window would be tainted just by her gaze.
She was like a black reef, relentlessly battered by waves of emotion.
She didn't know how she made it back to the teaching building. The music had stopped, and students returning from the morning exercises began to disperse like a dark tide. Jiang Du looked at the crowd—so many people, so many eyes, so many mouths—and suddenly felt an overwhelming fear. The people before her seemed to grow infinitely larger, towering like giants before her eyes.
With one step, a giant could crush her.
As the giants drew closer, Jiang Du wanted to run, but her feet felt rooted to the ground, unable to move. Then a familiar figure appeared before her. Zhu Yulong shoved a black plastic bag into her hands:
"Got it for you. Aren't you going back to the classroom?"
Jiang Du stared blankly at her, so Zhu Yulong lowered her voice: "That guy, the security guard chased him away."
Jiang Du's pupils contracted sharply. She snapped back to reality, wanting to offer Zhu Yulong a friendly, grateful smile, but couldn't even manage that.
Outside the school gate, Wang Yong returned the next day, shouting "little bitch" with every breath. He loudly proclaimed to any student he saw how promiscuous Jiang Du's mother had been back in the day, the rest of his words too vulgar to repeat. Students avoided him, taking detours.
The school had no choice but to call the police again.
Wei Qingyue saw Wang Yong at the gate. At the time, Wang Yong was flashing his yellowed teeth, with large flakes of dandruff clinging to his greasy hair.
The boy's gaze was deep, and no one knew what he was looking at.
Zhang Xiaoqiang was buying something at a shop near the gate when she grabbed Wei Qingyue's arm anxiously, saying, "Don't act impulsively. You absolutely can't get into a fight with someone like this again. I think the school will definitely call the police. If he keeps harassing us like this, the police won't just ignore it."
Surprisingly, Wei Qingyue gave her a slight smile: "I know."
Zhang Xiaoqiang watched him nervously and said, "Wei Qingyue, don't be foolish. You're about to go abroad—why get tangled up with this kind of trash?"
Wei Qingyue seemed to agree with her, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly: "Let's go in."
There was a day of respite in between. Just as the school gate security guards thought the police had deterred him, Wang Yong appeared once again at the main entrance.The students' discussions grew increasingly heated, and parents became more and more dissatisfied. In some classes, parents had already begun pressuring the school, suggesting that Jiang Du transfer, with some even leaving messages on the education bureau's website.
Wang Yong had only one demand: to take Jiang Du away. He repeatedly claimed to be her biological father, insisting he had the right to take his daughter.
Friday arrived in the blink of an eye. Many more parents than usual waited at the school gate to pick up their children, most of them there for the girls. The incident at Mei Zhong had stirred up a storm across the city.
Grandpa had naturally heard about the situation at the school. The elderly man was busy seeking help through old friends, so he would be a bit late picking up Jiang Du that day. Over the phone, he repeatedly asked the homeroom teacher to make sure Jiang Du stayed safely in the classroom and didn’t come out just yet.
In the classroom, the class monitor and Zhu Yulong, under the homeroom teacher’s arrangement, stayed with Jiang Du to wait for Grandpa.
Since that was the case, they decided to let the students on duty leave, and the three of them took care of cleaning the classroom themselves.
Soon, the teaching building emptied.
It was Zhu Yulong who first noticed someone outside the window. She said to Jiang Du, "They’re probably here for you. The monitor and I will go read by the flower bed on the first floor. Just call us when you’re ready to come down." With that, she exchanged a glance with the monitor, and the two left.
Jiang Du couldn’t help but look out the window. Through the glass, Wei Qingyue smiled at her.
In that moment, all she felt was the urge to escape.
She stiffly hung the rag on the hook.
What had Wei Qingyue seen in her? Shared hardship? No, she didn’t want his pity. Or was it a competition to see who had it worse? Jiang Du lowered her head and walked back to her seat, sitting down.
Wei Qingyue was already standing in front of her, teasing lightly, "Why sit down without wiping the chair first?" He remembered how particular about cleanliness someone had been in her letters.
Seeing her remain silent, the boy leaned forward, resting both arms on her desk, and said with a smile, "What, pretending not to know me again?"
Jiang Du had been holding back with all her might. Finally, she looked up at him. Wei Qingyue was truly there in her sight, his face so clear. Slowly, her eyes reddened.
"I thought your grandpa had already picked you up. Why are you still here?" He seemed to ignore her teary eyes, his tone as casual as before.
Jiang Du shook her head, still silent.
"Is your grandpa busy? I’ll walk you home." Wei Qingyue tapped the desk twice with his fingers, straightened up, and pulled out his phone. "You can call your grandpa and let him know."
But you can’t walk me home forever. No one can be there forever. I have to rely on myself in the end.
Summer days were so long, the dusk still bright. Dust particles floated in the light, and Jiang Du felt like she was one of them—so small that the whole world seemed to shrink with her. When would she ever grow up?
"No need. I’ll wait for Grandpa. He told me to wait, so I will," Jiang Du said, barely daring to look at him. "Thank you, and for last time too, thank you for helping me out." Somehow, the rest of her words came out with a hint of resignation. "I should be grateful that you’re still willing to be friends with me, but that might not be good for you. In the future..."
At the word "future," it felt as though the story had reached its end. A sudden ache gripped her heart, and Jiang Du fought back tears. "I’m better off alone. I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone."
The air fell silent for a moment.
Wei Qingyue kept his gaze fixed on her, while Jiang Du remained completely still."If you think I would change my opinion of you because of these things, you've misjudged me. If you feel you owe me a favor, then do me a help," he waited for her to lift her face, and sure enough, Jiang Du looked up at him, "that thing I asked you before, tell her, I've always hoped she could still write me letters, write down the shy words, write anything, I'll reply to her, even after going abroad I can reply, if she's willing, I'll keep in touch with her. I won't reply to anyone else's letters, only hers, she can rest assured."
Wei Qingyue's eyes were so bright, yet so deep, he gazed at Jiang Du, suddenly, he pulled out a folded note from his pants pocket and pushed it toward her:
"This is my other QQ number, hasn't added anyone, and email. I'm leaving soon, but these will still be used for a while, if the contact info changes I'll say so. If she doesn't want to write letters later, she can use these, please pass them to her for me," the boy paused, "I don't want to lose contact with her, hope she knows."
Without waiting for Jiang Du's response, Wei Qingyue said: "Since you're waiting for your grandpa, I'll head home first."
He was someone who always acted decisively, and after saying that, he really walked out of the classroom.
Leaving Jiang Du alone, she picked up the note, didn't open it, but gently tore it into pieces, leaning over the desk for a long time, on the desk, only a pool of water stain remained in the end, reflecting the evening glow outside.
Wei Qingyue, she won't write you letters anymore.
Jiang Du looked at the beautiful sky outside, picked up the bag of books, and locked the classroom.
Back home, Wei Qingyue answered a phone call from across the ocean, after hanging up, he sat quietly on the sofa for a long time. Then, got up and started unpacking the express delivery the housekeeping aunt helped him pick up from the post office, which were a few issues of "Book City" after its revival.
The wind on the balcony was warm, Wei Qingyue took out a fountain pen, biting the cap, sat on the rattan chair, spread the letter paper flat, the wind blowing his brows and eyes was a deep black, on the distant horizon, only long strands of purple-gray dark clouds remained, the outline of the earth gradually disappearing.
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