2
Gao Xiang’s original plan was to drive to Philadelphia for three days, spend two days in Atlantic City, and then return to New York. However, they completely abandoned the plan and stayed in Baltimore for a full five days.
They didn’t visit any attractions. Apart from going out for meals nearby and taking walks along the Inner Harbor, they spent the rest of their time entirely in the hotel.
Zuo Si’an remained inexperienced. She had read many books, but theory and her actual experience were entirely different matters. She felt somewhat frustrated to realize that no matter how skilled she had become at pretending to have the appearance of a normal girl, she could never feign normal physiological responses.
Anxiously, she asked Gao Xiang, “Is my performance disappointing you?”
He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Nonsense, I couldn’t be more satisfied.”
He was telling the truth. As an experienced man, he found that so-called experience merely represented what had already happened in his past. What was happening now was equally new, unprecedented, and almost miraculous to him.
Perhaps it was because the secret anticipation had lasted too long, and the taboos were finally set aside; perhaps it was because she had overcome her fear of physical contact, and her efforts to please him brought him a passion he had never experienced before. He knew she hadn’t reached climax like he had, and there wasn’t even much pleasure in it for her. For her, making love was more like an offering, a sacrifice of herself. Yet she accepted him wholeheartedly, and that self-abandoning, willingly lost posture was enough to drive even a more rational person than him to madness.
Kiss after kiss, entanglement after entanglement, touching another body in sleep and instinctively holding on—unrestrained, from sweat and panting to every part of their bodies merging into one. In the moments of rest, they lay side by side on the bed, holding each other’s hands, quietly feeling time slip away.
Gao Xiang turned to kiss her. Her eyes were closed, her expression serene and relaxed. He kissed her hair and thought, Yu Jia was actually worried that he would use sex to control Zuo Si’an. In reality, he was the one utterly lost in confusion.
If it weren’t for the multiple daily calls from Chen Zi Hui, letting Bao Bao chat with him, Gao Xiang wouldn’t have even thought about how many days they had already spent there.
Whenever this happened, Zuo Si’an would voluntarily step away. After hanging up the phone, Gao Xiang tried to talk to her about Bao Bao, but she immediately changed the subject. He understood her avoidance and didn’t want to force the issue, adding to her psychological burden.
Aside from this, their intimacy had reached a level that seemed impossible to surpass. She was acutely aware of her own indulgence. If Zuo Si’an had said to him at that moment, “Let’s elope. You don’t have to return to China, and I don’t have to go home. From now on, we’ll be together,” he would have agreed without hesitation.
However, what Zuo En’an said was, “Your flight back to China is tomorrow. We have to leave.”
He didn’t want to leave at that moment and shook his head. “No rush, there’s still time.”
She fell silent and threw herself back into his embrace.
By the time Gao Xiang woke up, Zuo Si’an was already dressed and had packed both their luggage.After settling the bill, they drove toward Philadelphia. By the time they arrived, dusk was approaching. They had almost no impression of this historically rich American city, merely grabbing a quick meal somewhere before resting briefly to continue their journey.
Gao Xiang suddenly took Zuo Si'an's hand and led her into an elegantly decorated women's clothing boutique by the roadside.
"I don't need to buy clothes."
"A few days ago in Portland when I came to find you, weren't you shopping for Graduation Ball dresses with your classmates? When is the Graduation Ball?"
"Mid-June."
Gao Xiang thought for a moment: "If I can't make it back by then, if someone asks you out, you should accept."
Her eyes dimmed as she said: "I don't even know how to dance. I wasn't planning to attend anyway."
Ignoring her objection, his gaze swept across the displayed clothing racks before selecting a white spaghetti-strap cocktail dress. "Go try this on," he said.
Zuo Si'an changed into the white dress and matching high heels. She had never worn such an elaborate pearl-embroidered formal gown before. Running her hands over her exposed shoulders and back, she felt extremely self-conscious. After hesitating for a long time, she finally emerged from the fitting room.
She didn't need to look in the mirror - she could tell from the brightness in Gao Xiang's eyes that she looked beautiful, even "mesmerizing." That focused gaze made her heart flutter.
Gao Xiang immediately purchased the dress and stopped her from changing back. "No need to take it off."
"Hey, driving dressed like this? People will think I'm crazy."
"I'd be happy to accompany such a 'crazy' person forever."
He took her to the nearest hotel and booked a suite. She tugged at him: "We need to get back to New York."
"We have time. Philadelphia to New York is at most two hours by car."
In the elevator, he looked at her solemnly and declared: "Don't get the wrong idea. I just want to find a place to teach you how to dance, so you won't miss your Graduation Ball."
Embarrassed and annoyed, she snorted and turned away, refusing to acknowledge him. Her conflicted expression made him burst into laughter.
Once in the room, true to his word, he opened the French windows facing the balcony, turned on the stereo to dance music, and began seriously teaching her to dance while holding her close. She followed his movements helplessly, though her posture remained somewhat stiff.
"Relax, follow the rhythm. I'll guide you forward and backward. I guarantee you'll learn quickly. Don't be nervous."
"Then who taught you how to dance?"
"An upperclassman from university."
She mischievously scratched his neck and asked: "Did she give you guidance like this too?" His hand tightened slightly around her waist, making her immediately exaggerate her surrender with dramatic cries: "Ouch, that hurts, it hurts!"
"Since we're talking about teachers, let me ask - who's Martin?"
"Martin? He's Sarah's cousin. Why are you suddenly asking about him?"
"He's your admirer, isn't he? Have you two gone on dates?"
She immediately looked uncomfortable: "What are you talking about? We've barely spoken."
"Silly girl, having boys pursue you is completely normal.""He wasn't pursuing me at all. He's quite shy—he only took me and Sarah out on the boat once to watch lobster catching. Their family has been in the lobster fishing business for generations, but by their father's generation, among all the siblings, only Mrutin's father was willing to stay in their hometown as a fisherman. Sarah's father left without a word back then and went out west, only calling occasionally."
After a pause, she added, "Sarah told me that Stephen King's father went out to buy cigarettes when he was two years old and never came back. Maybe men running away is some kind of tradition in Portland, just like lobster catching." She looked up at him and said half-jokingly, "Hey, now that you're back in the country, you're not going to disappear again, are you?"
He shot her a glance: "Don't talk nonsense. I told you, I'll be back soon after I take care of some things."
She finally couldn't hold back any longer and asked, "But will your family agree to let you come back?"
He answered honestly: "No, I hope they'll understand, but I've already made up my mind. Whether they agree or not won't change anything."
"What if they..." Zuo Si'an bit her lip, momentarily unsure how to continue.
"At most they'll cut off my financial support. That's not a problem either. I have some savings, and I can definitely postpone business school for now, find a job here, and support our life together."
She didn't look particularly reassured, only saying softly, "Thank you."
"Don't ever thank me for something like this again, because I'm not planning to thank you either for giving up better university offers for me. Is your mother still angry?"
"She is quite disappointed in me, but she's never been one to nag, so she hasn't said anything more."
He held her close, pulling her tightly against his chest: "I really wish I could take you with me."
She froze, stopped smiling, and rested her head on his shoulder, remaining silent for a long time. He looked down at her—her eyes were slightly red. "What's wrong? I'll be back soon, don't worry."
"I'm not worried."
"Then what are you thinking about?"
"Just remembering some things from the past. My father also said he didn't want me to grow up, that he could keep me with him always, take me wherever he went. But..."
Gao Xiang stopped walking, lifted her chin, looked intently at her, and said seriously, "Xiao An, I'm not your father. I'm your boyfriend. I will come back."
She nodded, tears glistening in her eyes.
The night grew deeper, moonlight spilling in like water, the evening breeze gently caressing them. Gao Xiang kissed Zuo En'an's bare shoulder, tracing her collarbone with his tongue. She playfully pushed him away: "I thought you were just supposed to be teaching me how to dance?"
He murmured, "It's time we reviewed another dance."
He turned her around and slowly pulled down the zipper on her back. The white dress slipped down, revealing the graceful curve of her back and the slight hollow at her waist. He kissed his way down her spine. Their bodies inevitably entwined once more, made all the more intense by their impending separation.
She might not have experienced the legendary climax, but she felt an irresistible greed for this intimacy. She needed to see the passion in his eyes as he looked at her, to feel him caress every inch of her skin, enter her body, and climb together to the peak of pleasure.The intense stimulation carried an almost painful edge, yet while she feared it, she also yearned to experience it again—as if it were proof of existence. For her, what she had already experienced was more than enough. Making love with him transcended mere pleasure and climax; it was the ultimate intimacy between two people in love. If souls truly existed, in that very moment, there must have been invisible collisions, sparking formless fireworks.
Exhausted and quiet, they lay together. Gao Xiang’s phone, placed nearby, intermittently flashed without a sound. Zuo Si’an reminded him, but he shook his head. "At this hour, Bao Bao is definitely asleep. It must be my mother calling to urge me back. I already told her during the day that I wouldn’t miss my flight. No need to answer."
Gao Xiang fell into a deep sleep. Zuo Si’an was also very tired, but her mind was racing, making it impossible for her to sleep. After a long while, Gao Xiang’s phone continued to flash intermittently. She felt a pang of sympathy: on the other end of the phone was also a mother, persistently calling—just like her own mother, who refused to give up persuading her to attend a better university. Both clung to a stubborn persistence, knowing it was hopeless, yet still pressing on.
She checked the time; it was already past one in the morning. Hesitating for a moment, she threw on her nightgown, tucked the phone into her hand, and walked out to the balcony. She pressed answer and said softly, "Gao Xiang is already asleep. He said he would make it in time…"
Chen Zi Hui’s sharp voice came through the phone: "You have no shame, Zuo Si’an. Why are you clinging to my son like this?"
She thought to herself, being enveloped in love really does make one involuntarily weak and foolish. She had actually taken the initiative to answer this woman’s call, essentially offering herself up for humiliation. She could only reply calmly, "I was just suggesting you get some rest early. There’s no need to waste your time calling again."
Just as she was about to hang up, Chen Zi Hui cried out, "Wait! Zuo Si’an, if you want revenge against me, direct it at me. Please don’t entangle yourself with Gao Xiang."
"I’m not entangling him."
"Then why does he suddenly want to stay in the US for you? He has a bright future back home. Our Chen Family’s company will be his sooner or later. He loves Bao Bao as if he were his own son, and now he’s willing to give it all up for you? How can you bear to do this?"
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