At that moment, a flash of lightning streaked outside the house. Everyone instinctively tilted their heads to listen, and after a short while, a loud clap of thunder erupted. Raindrops began falling rapidly into the courtyard, quickly intensifying into a heavy downpour. Gao Xiang put down his bowl and bid farewell to Aunt Mei, who urged him to stay: "Wait until the rain lets up a bit, or just spend the night here."
"No need, I have a sales meeting at the company tomorrow morning."
Aunt Mei had no choice but to press an umbrella into his hand. He walked toward the pond where his car was parked. Though it was only a little past six, the sky was pitch black, with strong winds howling and torrential rain pouring down. Holding the umbrella provided little more than symbolic protection. When he reached his car and took out his keys, he turned around just as another flash of lightning illuminated the surroundings. There stood Zuo Si'an, holding an umbrella, not far behind him. Startled, he exclaimed, "What are you doing out in this heavy rain?"
Darkness returned, and he heard no reply—only the dull rumble of thunder rolling overhead and the relentless drumming of the rain. He wondered if she had even heard him. Groping through the darkness, he instinctively took her hand, opened the car door, and helped her inside. After folding the umbrella and settling into the driver's seat, he turned on the interior light. He saw that Zuo Si'an, like him, was mostly drenched.
He draped a suit jacket from the back of the seat over her shoulders. "Did you have something to say to me?"
Zuo Si'an wiped the rainwater from her face and nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't know I would cause Sister Ruodi to break up with you."
Gao Xiang was stunned.
"I originally wanted to explain things to Sister Ruodi, but my mom said that involving a third person in a couple's matters only complicates things. You're adults and can handle it yourselves. I think she's right." She reached out and gently pushed his arm, saying timidly, "Please don't be angry with me."
Gao Xiang didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "My mother caused a scene at your house. I should be the one apologizing, and yet here you are apologizing to me."
Her expression darkened immediately. After a pause, she looked straight ahead and said clearly, "You don't need to apologize to me. Nothing you say will help. I dislike her."
Gao Xiang had to admit he really had no defense for his mother. "Did you run out here just to tell me this?"
"I promised my mom I wouldn't see you again. Running into you today was an accident, so it doesn't count as breaking my promise. You seemed like you didn’t want to pay me any attention earlier. If I didn’t say it now, I might not get another chance."
"Xiao An, there are two things I must make clear to you. First, no matter what my mother said, Ruodi and I are adults. There were many reasons for our breakup, but it certainly wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for it. Second, I came to Liu Wan today to deliver medicine to Aunt Mei, but the truth is, I wanted to see you."
Her eyes lit up briefly but then dimmed again. "Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You need to be fine too."
For some reason, her childlike concern amused him and tugged faintly at his heart. He couldn’t resist teasing her a little: "What does 'being fine' look like?"
She was clearly at a loss. Wrapped in his suit jacket, she thought seriously but couldn’t come up with an answer. "I don’t know. Everyone has different ideas. For example, my mom is happiest when she’s doing work she loves. 'Being fine' probably means being able to live the life you want."
"What if the life I want includes wanting to see you often?"Her mouth fell half-open as she stared at him in a daze. He realized once again that she had grown into a young woman—her eyes clear as water, her face dewy, radiating an indescribable glow from within. Even her dazed expression unintentionally carried a charming innocence, making him instantly regret that his previous words might have sounded flirtatious. He quickly added, "Aside from wanting your father to return, what kind of life do you envision for yourself?"
"His return would be enough. Being too greedy might lead to losing everything in the end."
"This isn’t an essay assignment—no need to craft a line to please the teacher for a high grade."
A faint blush touched her cheeks. "I mean it. I just want life to go back to how it was. I don’t know if that’s asking too much. But I still have to try, right?"
"So you’ve decided to give up on other wishes."
"I haven’t given up on anything else, except... I promised my mother not to see you again."
He pressed a hand to his chest, half-jokingly saying, "That really hurts."
"I do want to see you," she blurted out. Noticing his expression turn serious, she nervously lowered her gaze and murmured, "But I’ve thought it over—I’ve caused you a lot of trouble, maybe even disrupted your life. Not seeing me might be better for you."
He reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I’m sorry, Xiao An. I never meant to make you feel conflicted. Whether we meet or not is your decision, but I must tell you again: to me, you’ve never been a problem to solve. Your trust in me means a great deal—I cherish it. You’re still young. Not every difficulty requires you to overcome it alone. If you need to see me, just call."
She didn’t reply, but suddenly tilted her head and pressed her cheek against the back of his hand. Surprised, he felt his heart stir, a pang of sorrow fleeting through him. He thought this rare intimate gesture felt like a silent farewell—the girl had decided to let him go. Just then, a flashlight beam swept across the car window from outside. She lifted her head, calmly handed his suit jacket back, and said, "It must be Xiao Chao, checking on me. You should go. Drive safely."
She stepped out of the car, opening an umbrella. Sure enough, Liu Guanchao stood in the heavy rain, wearing a rain cape and holding a flashlight. Gao Xiang turned on the headlights, illuminating the path ahead. Through the torrential downpour and rumbling thunder, she and Liu Guanchao walked away—her figure slight, yet resolute and unwavering, as if she would never look back.
Gao Xiang watched her retreating figure vanish beyond the reach of the headlights. The warmth and softness of her cheek still lingered on the back of his hand. Suddenly, he realized the words he had spoken half in jest were no joke at all.
If he never saw her again, he would feel wounded. An emotion he couldn’t define, uncertain of when it had begun, had quietly taken root in his heart—and was already influencing his actions.
Chapter 11: 1999, Han River
1Gao Xiang was growing increasingly busy. The large-scale expansion of Clear Ridge Winery meant his responsibilities in sales management were becoming more complex by the day. Meanwhile, Bao Bao had finally learned to walk, though his frail health persisted—he would crouch down gasping after just a few steps. His recurrent bronchitis and lung infections concerned doctors during multiple checkups, leaving them uncertain whether his physical condition could withstand radical surgery. Chen Zihui remained haunted by the memory of the first operation, convinced that putting Bao Bao under the knife again would be perilous.
Caring for this child who remained under the shadow of death consumed much of Gao Xiang's energy. He bore this without resentment, partly because he had developed genuine paternal affection for Bao Bao, seeing him as his own son, and partly because he glimpsed traces of Zuo Si'an in the boy—another child in need of care, even if she had since grown into a young woman. Perhaps precisely because he could offer her so little support, forced to stand by as she faced one upheaval after another, he poured more of his concern into Bao Bao. Watching the child gradually grow and cherishing both the joy of caring for him and his dependent attachment.
Yet neither the child nor work could fully occupy his heart. He could neither persuade himself to completely let go of Zuo Si'an, nor justify his concern for her as mere sympathy as he once had. He could only console himself as he had once comforted her: time would resolve these matters.
Near the end of 1998, when a university classmate visited on business, Gao Xiang gathered several classmates for dinner followed by drinks and music at a bar. Amid the lively reunion and noisy surroundings, it took him a while to notice his ringing phone. Seeing Yu Jia's number, he promptly answered.
Yu Jia dispensed with greetings, demanding immediately: "Has Xiao An contacted you?"
Irritated, he replied, "Teacher Yu, even if you don't trust me, you should trust your daughter. She's the most obedient and dependable child I've ever known—she hasn't contacted me at all these past months."
"She... had a fight with me and ran away. I can't find her, so I thought she might have gone to you."
Shocked, he grabbed his coat and rushed out without explaining to his friends. "Could she be at a classmate's place?"
"Her closest friend is Xiao Chao. I already went to his home—he said he hasn't seen her and is now helping me search. I had no choice but to call you."
"Could she have gone to Liu Wan again?"
"Xiao An left three hours ago—the long-distance buses stopped running long ago. I've called Aunt Mei and asked her to notify me immediately if she sees Xiao An."
"I'll join the search. Let's update each other if we learn anything."
About half an hour earlier, Gao Xiang's phone had received another call that disconnected after one ring, which he'd dismissed as a wrong number. Remembering this now, he urgently retrieved the number and called back. A middle-aged man answered, informing him it was a public phone at a convenience store.He roughly described Zuo Si'an's appearance, and the shopkeeper confirmed, "The girl you mentioned did come to make a phone call. First, she made a long-distance call, but no one answered. Then she dialed a mobile number but immediately hung up and said never mind. I noticed she was wearing a school uniform and looked quite frail. Since it was so late and she wasn't heading home, I specifically asked if she had any trouble. She said no, bought a bag of hot milk, and left."
Gao Xiang, who hadn’t driven because he’d been out drinking, asked for the convenience store’s address—it was on Shenyang Road in another district of the city. He hailed a taxi and rushed over, easily finding the store, but Zuo Si'an was nowhere nearby. He had the taxi driver drive as slowly as possible, circling the area around the convenience store for over half an hour. The driver grew impatient, and Gao Xiang himself felt the chances of finding Zuo Si'an through such aimless wandering were slim. After returning to Shenyang Road, he paid and got out.
It was the depths of winter, with overcast skies, a biting cold wind, and low temperatures—absolutely unsuitable for lingering outside. Helpless, Gao Xiang stood on the street, lit a cigarette, and pondered where to go next. A young couple passed by, and the girl said, "Oh no, we missed this one. Do you think the tram has stopped running?"
The boy reassured her, "No, Route 1 tram runs until 10:30. There should be a few more trips."
Just then, Route 1 tram passed in front of them. Gao Xiang’s heart stirred, recalling that Zuo Si'an had once mentioned Route 1 tram was the line her father used to take her to school on. When she was in a bad mood, she would ride it alone from start to end.
He tossed his cigarette, followed the couple to the nearby stop, and studied the route board under the dim streetlight. The full route had 14 stops, with Shenyang Road roughly in the middle. He called Yu Jia and asked her to check near the starting station, Zhongshan Road, close to home. Then he hailed another taxi and headed for the terminal station, Jiaxing Road.
Jiaxing Road served as the terminal and transfer point for several bus and trolley routes. Though it was nearly 10 p.m., vehicles were still coming and going, passengers boarding and alighting, keeping the area bustling.
It took Gao Xiang some time to find Zuo Si'an. She was sitting on a railing in a courtyard behind the station, her eyes vacant as she stared into the distance. He hadn’t been sure she’d ride the tram all the way to the end—he’d come purely on a hunch. Relief washed over him, but anger quickly followed. He walked over and asked in a low voice, "What are you playing at, Zuo Si'an? Is running away from home fun?"
Startled, she looked up, her pale face full of panic. He had seen almost the exact same expression on her at the guesthouse in Ali Shiquanhe Town. His heart softened instantly. He took off his coat and draped it over her, sitting down beside her. "Alright, I’m not blaming you, but wandering around alone is really dangerous."
OpenNovel