"I want to be a clam, nurturing my own pearl with time and flesh."
Deep in the night, heavy snow suddenly began to fall. There was no wind, and snowflakes drifted through the sky like cotton fluff. The plum trees in the garden bloomed overnight, their pink blossoms as vivid as blood, delicate and radiant upon the branches.
When Mei Xiang entered the hall to add charcoal to the brazier, she was startled to see Chu Qiao sitting on the couch. She approached slowly and called out softly, "Miss, what's wrong?"
Chu Qiao wore a white cotton sleeping robe, her hair like black satin. She seemed somewhat distracted, her face pale as she shook her head slightly and said, "I just feel a bit unsettled."
Hearing this, a faint smile touched Mei Xiang's lips as she teased, "The Fourth Young Master has only been gone for two days, and you're already so lovesick you can't sleep?"
Although Zhuge Yue controlled Qinghai, he still governed in the name of a vassal of Daxia, acknowledging Zhao Che of the northern territories as his sovereign. Thus, in terms of status, he remained a feudal prince, while Chu Qiao was his princess. Having served them for so long, Mei Xiang had never changed her manner of address.
Chu Qiao laughed and scolded her lightly, after which Mei Xiang withdrew.
The curtains fluttered gently, and the lamplight cast deep shadows. Without him there, the room suddenly felt vast and empty.
She thought of the dream she had just had—a woman with a blurred silhouette, slender and pale, her smile gentle and serene. Dressed in white, she stood quietly in the courtyard with its blue bricks and red tiles, gazing steadily at her. Snow-white pear blossoms bloomed behind her, petals drifting down with the wind one by one.
The deep night was cold and silent. At some point, the wind picked up outside, whipping snow and plum blossoms against the window lattice with a rustling sound.
She gazed quietly out the window, a vague sense of melancholy slowly rising in her heart—she didn't know why, or for whom.
That day was the fourth day of the twelfth month. Zhuge Yue had left for Gongyue to handle military affairs just two days prior. In the Qianhua Hall of Star Moon Palace, Chu Qiao had a dream—a dream of an unfamiliar woman standing outside her window, silent and still for a long time before finally departing.
Half a month later, Zhuge Yue returned from Gongyue, having traveled swiftly and covered in dust from the journey.
Before even stepping down from the carriage, Zhuge Yunzhou frowned with his little brows and complained to his mother, saying pitifully, "Zhou'er never wants to travel with Father again. He's always rushing like it's a matter of life and death—it's no fun at all."
Li Qingrong was now eight years old and bore a strong resemblance to his father. He particularly favored brightly colored clothing, and his every gesture carried the elegance of that person from years past. Leaning lazily against the stone pillar at the palace gate, he kept yawning, his peach-blossom eyes slightly upturned as he muttered, "I told you so long ago, but you didn't believe me and insisted on going along."
Ignoring them both, Chu Qiao walked straight over and smiled as she brushed the dust from Zhuge Yue's clothes. "Was the journey difficult?"
Zhuge Yue embraced her and planted a light kiss on her cheek. "It was alright."
"Ah!" Zhuge Yunzhou sighed helplessly. Seeing that no one was paying him any attention, he had no choice but to clamber down from the carriage on his own, shaking his head as he went. "Morals decline, hearts grow hard to fathom. We're both family, yet the treatment is worlds apart."
Meanwhile, Li Qingrong put on an expression of unbearable suffering, covering one eye with his hand while groping his way back into the palace with the other.That evening, the Star Moon Palace hosted a grand banquet. Delicacies were served in an endless stream, accompanied by graceful dances and melodious music. Palace attendants moved like butterflies among flowers, while trusted officials brought their families along. The hall was filled with lively conversations and laughter, creating a harmonious atmosphere. Yet, none of this compared to the glance he gave her. Outside, snow piled high, plum trees swayed, and the wind swept through, sending snowflakes swirling like the flowing sleeves of a celestial maiden from the Jade Pool.
He had drunk some wine and was in high spirits. When his subordinates teased him about rushing back overnight because he missed home, he merely glared at them like a stubborn child, with an expression that seemed to say, "I’ll settle this with you later."
That night, after the banquet ended and the palace gates closed, within the lightly fluttering curtains, their skin burned with passion as they embraced each other fiercely. When the clouds dispersed and the rain ceased, he gently kissed her earlobe and whispered into her ear, "Xing'er, Empress Nalan of Zhenhuang City has passed away."
Passed away? Where did she go?
For a moment, Chu Qiao’s mind seemed to blur. Her usually sharp and perceptive heart had yet to emerge from the warmth of their intimacy. Nestled in his embrace, she thought hazily, "Empress Nalan? Which Empress Nalan?"
"They say she died of a sudden illness, about half a month ago. When I heard, I was terrified. Thinking of how you were when you were ill made me even more desperate to return."
Zhuge Yue spoke softly, his arms encircling her from behind, his chest pressed tightly against her smooth back. He held her so close it was almost hard to breathe.
But Chu Qiao’s body gradually stiffened. A chill rose from her fingertips, creeping upward like the icy well water of Yanbei’s highlands in winter, enough to freeze one’s nerves. Outside the window, the wind howled, and a plum tree branch swayed gracefully, slender and delicate like a woman’s waist and cloud-like hair.
Suddenly, she remembered that night half a month ago when she had awoken from a dream, drenched in cold, sticky sweat. Over the days, she had forgotten—forgotten that person’s brows, her face, the cloud patterns on her robes. Yet, she still remembered those eyes—calm, detached, like clouds in the highest heavens, drifting lightly, resting upon her, yet seeming to gaze through her into the far, far distance.
She saw her figure, so thin, the wind lifting the hem of her clothes, pear blossoms falling over her head, scattering a pale whiteness across the ground.
They had never met. The only intersection in their lives seemed to be that one unintentional glance.
Ink stains marred the paper, fragrant flower-patterned stationery bore scattered verses, and only the woman’s sorrowful tears fell, drop by drop, soaking through the paper, blurring the dark ink, leaving faint tear stains.
By a twist of fate, her pain went unseen by all. Only she, in an inadvertent lift of her gaze, had glimpsed the hidden scars of a woman who stood high above, never revealing her wounds.
"The mountains have trees, and the trees have branches; my heart adores you, but you do not know…"
Whoosh—a dark shadow swept past the window. She jolted, her fingers turning rigid.
Sensing her unease, Zhuge Yue pulled her into his arms, half-sitting up as he called out sharply, "What was that?"
Hurried footsteps echoed from outside the hall, and a eunuch’s shrill voice replied, "Your Highness, it was a night-flying crow."
"Order the Archery Corps to shoot down all the feathered creatures nearby."
"Yes, this servant will see to it at once."The night wind still blew as Zhuge Yue held her, softly comforting, "Don't be afraid, it's alright—it was just a bird."
Her eyes suddenly grew warm, and she turned around, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.
He held her with one arm while gently patting her back with the other, sensing something amiss, and asked quietly, "Xing'er, what's wrong?"
Burying her face in his warm embrace, she replied softly, "I just feel that life is so unpredictable."
He spoke gently, "Life may be unpredictable, but that doesn't apply to you and me."
Chu Qiao lifted her head, her dark eyes filled with confusion in the night. Frowning slightly, she said, "Some things are beyond human control. The will of heaven is hard to fathom."
"I've never believed in gods or buddhas."
He gave a faint smile, his eyes gleaming with light, and leaned in to kiss the corner of her lips, murmuring, "And I never do things I'll regret."
Her heart felt as if it had suddenly plunged into a warm spring, her limbs growing weak and pliant. Holding him, she responded delicately with her lips, their skin brushing lightly against each other like silk. Her fingers, like butterfly wings, traced over his broad shoulders and pressed against his firm chest. With her ear pressed close, even through his palm, she could hear the steady, powerful beat of his heart.
Thump, thump, thump—
Tears fell from her eyes, one by one, for no reason, and she made no effort to stop them.
Outside the window, snowflakes drifted thick and fast. In the warm bedchamber of her own home, nestled in her husband's embrace, her son slept soundly in the chamber across the way. The world was vast, yet she held her own world firmly in her hands. No matter how many storms life brought, she had the courage to face all trials and hardships.
Winter in Qinghai was short and soon passed.
Spring rain, precious as oil, fell as fine as dancing ox hairs. On this day, an auspicious one for spring plowing, Zhuge Yue led all the court officials to the Shennong Altar. Ouyang had grown up now and, along with Ping An and Duoji, served by Zhuge Yue's side. Jingjing, bored and restless, pleaded with Chu Qiao to leave the palace for some fresh air.
Lately, Chu Qiao had been feeling weary and reluctant to move much, but unable to resist Jingjing's pleas, she took Yunzhou and Rong'er along and left the palace. Li Qingrong, despite his young age, was extremely fond of sleep and hadn't woken up even after leaving the palace. Chu Qiao had no choice but to prepare a separate carriage for him, while she rode on horseback with Yunzhou and Jingjing.
Upon reaching the mountain, everyone dismounted and continued on foot. Li Qingrong trailed behind, sighing and complaining that he had come to Qinghai to escape his duties, only to find himself still toiling away.
Jingjing, annoyed, bickered with him but was quickly outmatched and had to turn to Chu Qiao for help.
Chu Qiao smiled and asked if the Tang Emperor was still forcing him to study state affairs every day.
He nodded hurriedly and sighed helplessly, "My elder brother says that when I'm a few years older, I can take over for him for a few years so he can catch his breath."
Chu Qiao had long known how close the brothers were and wasn't surprised. Smiling, she said, "It's rare for your elder brother to have such magnanimity."
Li Qingrong, however, curled his lip and said disdainfully, "Being emperor is the hardest job in the world. He wants to trick me into taking it? Not a chance."
The fine rain fell like threads, and the mountain path was slippery. As they reached the mountaintop, the sky happened to clear just then. The rising sun broke through the clouds, and a great rainbow arched across the sky like a ribbon at the horizon.
Jingjing danced with joy, while Zhuge Yunzhou frowned slightly at her and asked, "Mother, when will Auntie get married?"Jingjing turned around sharply, glaring fiercely as she retorted, "Who asked for your concern?"
Zhuge Yunzhou curled his lip. "Who's concerned about you? I just want some peace and quiet."
While the two were bickering, Chu Qiao turned to see Li Qingrong dressed in a light crimson robe with flowing sleeves, a soft ribbon tying up his hair. Leaning against a green pine tree, though still young, his features were identical to Li Ce's. His slender, fox-like eyes narrowed slightly as he noticed her gaze, suddenly smiling as he said, "Auntie, when will you have another little sister? When Rong'er grows up, I'll marry her as my wife."
Chu Qiao was taken aback, chuckling as she asked, "You're so young, why are you suddenly thinking about this?"
"It's not sudden," Li Qingrong raised his eyebrows, a faint smile playing on his lips. Though still a child, his eyes seemed veiled in a hazy mist, making him impossible to read.
"I've had this thought since I was little. I suppose Rong'er was born for this purpose."
A gentle breeze stirred, lifting the hair at Li Qingrong's temples. Gazing into the distance, he said quietly, "Auntie, there are too many unhappy couples in this world. Like my father and mother, or my grandfather and grandmother—they hated each other all their lives, never stopping until death. Couples like you and the King are far too rare."
Suddenly, a mountain wind picked up. Seeing Chu Qiao's thin clothing, he quickly fetched a cloak and ran over. Despite his small stature, he steadily draped it over her shoulders.
The young boy grinned. "Auntie, I want a little sister for my wife, so you and the King need to work hard."
Chu Qiao felt somewhat embarrassed being teased by such a young child. She scolded him half-heartedly, but he remained grinning lazily.
The drizzle ceased, a rainbow arched across the sky, and sunlight pierced through the clouds, casting a golden glow upon the earth.
Half a month later, during a routine examination, the imperial physicians submitted a joyous report: the Qinghai Royal Consort was pregnant.
By the end of the same year, Star Moon Palace welcomed another daughter, named Zhuge Yunsheng, with the childhood name Zhenzhu, also known as Princess Pearl.
The next month, Biantang's marriage proposal documents passed through Cuiwei Pass. Li Qingrong intercepted the envoy on horseback and drove them back to Biantang.
Tang Emperor Li Xiuyi wrote to chastise him for being insane, but Li Qingrong merely snorted lightly and replied, "The pearl belongs to the clam—what does it have to do with the shell?"
Another child moved into the bedchambers of Qianhua Palace. The poor King of Qinghai, after enduring half a year of abstinence, once again faced the arduous task of winning back his wife.
The wind blew in from the pass, carrying the faint scent of green grass. One year passed, another arrived. Along the East Sea coast of Huai Song, fishermen gathered this year's fresh clams. Some clams held dazzling pearls, while others had discarded their own gems.
Originally just grains of sand, they became precious because they were cherished.
Tempered by time, they eventually turned into pearls.
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