Qiao Chu

The feast was just talk. Xie Yanlai curled his lips and stood up. What kind of feast could there be at a time like this?

"How can there not be one now?" Chu Zhao pulled off her cloak and pointed at the city ahead. "Prince Zhongshan has surrendered and confessed his crimes. The army deserves to celebrate. As the Empress, I shall hold a grand feast right here in the wilderness—who dares to say otherwise?"

Xie Yanlai looked at the girl holding her cloak with her head held high. Though he had known from their first meeting that she was not to be trifled with, every time he saw her again, there was something new about her, growing ever more—dazzling.

That's right, she was the Empress. She had forced Prince Zhongshan to surrender. No one could oppose her holding a feast.

Xie Yanlai also looked toward the city ahead. "The Empress has won a great victory and may hold a feast. But as for my feast, let's wait a little longer. It won't be too late to grant it after the King of Xiliang is defeated."

"A feast isn't necessarily a reward," Chu Zhao said. "It can be motivation. After this feast, Commandant Xie will achieve great merits."

Xie Yanlai chuckled twice. "Forget it. I'll achieve greater merits by returning quickly, lest your Uncle Zhong gets confused by someone's persuasion and acts recklessly. Then we won't need any feast at all."

Chu Zhao muttered, "I knew you'd leave immediately once you woke up."

That's why when he was exhausted and fell asleep, she preferred to let him rest on the ground rather than wake him to sleep in a warm, soft bed in the tent. Because she knew that once he woke, he wouldn't stay.

He had rushed here anxiously to see her, and he was just as anxious to leave immediately.

Xie Yanlai didn't catch what she said and leaned down to ask, "What did you say?"

Chu Zhao smiled. "Nothing."

"Definitely nothing good," Xie Yanlai scoffed.

Chu Zhao laughed. "I know the Border Army can't do without you. You were worried about me and rushed here to see me. I'm fine, so rest assured." As she spoke, she took out two letters. "I already wrote letters for you and Uncle Zhong before you arrived. Now that you're here, I don't need to have them delivered specially."

Xie Yanlai reached out and grabbed one. "No need for mine. Just say whatever you have to say now."

Chu Zhao shoved it into his hand. "I've already written it and can't be bothered to repeat it. Read it yourself."

Xie Yanlai didn't push it back but tucked it away, then corrected her, "It wasn't me who was worried about you. It was Zhong Changrong—he forced me to come."

Chu Zhao hugged her cloak and walked forward, nodding. "Mmhmm, I know, I know."

What did she know? She was just being dismissive. Xie Yanlai followed her and explained, "Your situation here is critical. Do you know that your life and death are tied to ours? You—"

Before he could finish, Chu Zhao called out loudly for A Le.

At her call, A Le ran over from the nearest bonfire, carrying a food box. She stopped in front of Chu Zhao and opened it. Chu Zhao took out a lidded bowl.

"Commandant Xie," she said, "you don't need to say any more. I understand everything. Please drink this bowl of nourishing and energy-boosting soup, and return with my regards."

Xie Yanlai glanced at her, took the bowl, and was about to down it in one gulp—

"Damn, it's scalding!" Xie Yanlai nearly bit his tongue. "Chu Zhao, did you do this on purpose?"

Chu Zhao laughed heartily, standing on tiptoe to fan him with her hand. "No, no."

A Le pursed her lips. "We didn't know when you'd wake up, so we kept it simmering. We didn't dare let it cool—it's for your own good."

"You and your mistress are just up to no good," Xie Yanlai raised an eyebrow. "First, you tried to choke me with a giant pill, then poison me with bitter medicine, and now you're trying to scald me to death."

As he spoke, he slowly finished the soup.Chu Zhao took two more pastries from the food box and offered them to him. "Apricot blossom cakes—the signature skill of the chef at Zhongshan Prince's Mansion. I ate so many while confined there. You wouldn’t have gotten these in the Border Commandery, so try them while they’re fresh."

Even if his origins were humble, Xie Yanlai was still a member of the Xie family, Xie Yanfang’s younger brother. The Xie family would never stint on his food and drink—he must have lived in luxury, and she had seen with her own eyes how the Xie family maids doted on him like a precious gem.

The night concealed the roughness and wear on the young man’s face.

Xie Yanlai looked at the pastry nearly pressed to his lips and sighed in resignation, snatching it from her hand. "So while I was asleep, you went and got all this food and drink?"

Chu Zhao laughed. "What else was there to do?"

Xie Yanlai swallowed the apricot blossom cake in two or three bites. "Well, I’m off now."

Chu Zhao called out, "Wait!"

Xie Yanlai set down the foot he had just lifted, asking impatiently, "What now?"

Chu Zhao looked at him, pulling a paper-wrapped package from the food box. "Here are some pastries for the road."

Xie Yanlai rolled his eyes, utterly exasperated, but grabbed the package and stuffed it into the front of his robes before striding away.

"You and Uncle Zhong should be careful too," Chu Zhao said, following him a couple of steps to remind him.

Xie Yanlai turned back with a laugh. "Isn’t that a bit off, Empress? You’re fearless yourself, yet you want us to cling to life and fear death?"

Chu Zhao smiled. "My fearlessness is for the sake of living. It’d be wonderful if we could all stay alive."

Xie Yanlai chuckled dryly and turned to leave again.

Chu Zhao watched him go, feeling she ought to say something but having nothing to add. Just as Xie Yanlai took a few steps, he turned back and waved her over.

Chu Zhao hurried to his side.

"What is it?" she asked cheerfully.

In the darkness, the girl’s eyes sparkled like fallen stars. Xie Yanlai averted his gaze, feeling an urge to laugh.

"What are you so happy about?" he muttered.

"Just tell me already," Chu Zhao urged. "Do you need something? People? Weapons? Any troubles? People? I’m the Empress now—if there’s anyone you can’t handle, I’ll step in."

Xie Yanlai laughed heartily. Even when this girl had nothing, she dared to confront anyone, and now that she was Empress, she was even more formidable—just listen to that tone!

"If you’re so impressive, why do you find it so hard to talk to her?" he said.

Chu Zhao was taken aback. Her? Who?

Xie Yanlai looked at her. "Mu Mianhong."

Oh, her. Chu Zhao made a soft sound and glanced away. Why bring her up out of nowhere?

"It’s not hard," she said. "When you interrupted us, we were talking just fine."

Xie Yanlai scoffed.

Chu Zhao lowered her head with a sigh. "It’s not that I find it difficult, and I’m not overthinking it. It’s just... we’re not very familiar with each other."

Having never had a mother, only for one to suddenly appear, and with their separation rooted in such reasons, it was already remarkable that she could speak with Mu Mianhong at all. Xie Yanlai’s gaze softened slightly.

He turned away, clearing his throat lightly. "So what if you’re not familiar? Aren’t you the best at dealing with all sorts of people?"

Chu Zhao laughed again. "How am I good at that?"

Xie Yanlai pointed at himself. "Someone like me, your cousin, and all those messy men and women in the capital—you fought fiercely before, but now you’ve won them all over, haven’t you?"

Chu Zhao laughed heartily, tilting her head to look at him. "If I’m really that impressive, then it seems even you, A Jiu, have fallen for me."Xie Yanlai spat out a curse: "You're just being deliberately unreasonable with me." With that, he strode away.

Chu Zhao hurried after him, circling around to stand in front of him, and said with a smile, "I was wrong, I shouldn't have made fun of Young Master A Jiu." Then she wiped the smile from her face and said seriously, "I understand what you mean. I'm just not sure how to face her, and I don't really want to face her—"

She shook her head and let out a self-mocking laugh.

"But I can't do without her."

"When I was a child, she abandoned me to save her own life, but now, she's the one who saved my life."

"Should I kneel and thank her for saving me, or should I stand firm and say she owed me this?"

"If I thank her, there's still some resentment in my heart."

"If I resent her, I have no right to."

"What's even more ridiculous is that now, when I face her, I can't even say, 'Go away, I don't want to see you,' because I need her. I still have to use her."

"It seems like she has no right to ask to see me, but in reality, it's me—I have no right to refuse to see her."

"Should I despise her as a mother, or be grateful to have a mother like her?"

"How should I face her? With joy? Resentment? Or by using her?"

As she spoke, tears slid down her cheeks, and she lowered her head.

Xie Yanlai reached out. He wanted to pat the girl's head, but as his hand extended, it unconsciously landed on her shoulder. He pulled her firmly into an embrace.

If she had to cry, let her cry in front of him, shielded from view—no one would see.