Overdo

Subtle notes weave heartfelt strains,

With secret thoughts the tune is fraught.

Though I write countless lines, it seems

Hard to send spring in my dreams.

Hearing rain beat on plane trees,

I see the dim moon pale.

Where has my dreaming soul been all the night?

In Willow Leaf Tower with you in sight.

XXII

The weather was sweltering. Having just come off duty in his military uniform, Lei Shaogong was drenched in sweat by the time he walked along the corridor and entered the duty room. He took off his cap casually. Although the ceiling fan was spinning, it only blew gusts of hot air. He had just poured himself a cup of cool tea when he heard the bell ring. The attendant on duty exclaimed in surprise, "Strange, the master isn't here. Who could be ringing from the study?" Lei Shaogong said, "It's probably Third Young Master. I'll go check."

Murong Qingyi, without looking up, said, "Bring me all the files Father assigned yesterday." Lei Shaogong asked, "That will take some time. Will Third Young Master be dining here today?" Only then did Murong Qingyi lift his head. "It's you? You've become more meddlesome than the others, even concerning yourself with kitchen affairs."

Lei Shaogong replied, "You haven't been home for almost a month. Today is your birthday—why not go back for dinner?"

Murong Qingyi snorted, "Am I not at home now? Where else do you want me to go?" Lei Shaogong knew he was being deliberately obtuse but feared pushing too hard would backfire, so he said, "They called from the other residence saying the young mistress seems to have been unwell these past few days. You should go check on her." Seeing that Murong Qingyi remained silent, he knew he had made some headway and added, "I'll call the car."

It was dusk. The setting sun cast long shadows of trees and flowers across the courtyard. The watered bluestone pavement steamed with heat. The tuberoses below the steps were in bloom, their fragrance intensified by the warmth. Susu sat in a rattan chair, surrounded by stillness, feeling only the oppressive heat that frayed her nerves. She fanned herself absently with a silk fan. Xinjie came over and said, "The courtyard has just been watered, and it's terribly hot here. Why don't you go inside, young mistress?" Too listless to move or speak, she slowly shook her head. Xinjie asked, "The kitchen wants to know what you'd like for dinner. Will it be porridge again?"

She nodded. Xinjie left but returned shortly, beaming with joy. "Young mistress, Third Young Master is back." Her hand trembled slightly, and her heart burned with anxiety—he had finally returned.

Her soft-soled satin shoes made no sound on the floor. The living room was unlit, and his face was indistinct in the gloom. She stood at a distance, isolated, waiting for him to speak.

The faint twilight behind her outlined her slender figure. He gazed at her for a long time, separated by half a room—yet it felt like an entire world apart. An insurmountable chasm lay between them; he could never make her smile for him. In his presence, she always kept her head bowed, silent.

A sense of helplessness washed over him, forcing him to turn away. With an expressionless and cold demeanor, he said, "I heard you were unwell. Did you call Dr. Xu?" She nodded gently. His face showed only indifference and weariness, and her last shred of hope withered. But Xinjie could no longer contain herself and said joyfully, "Third Young Master, the young mistress is too shy to say it—congratulations are in order!"He turned to look at her, but her eyes held only a calm indifference. So this child—she considered it dispensable, perhaps even detestable. She didn’t love him, and by extension, she didn’t want his child either. He found himself losing even the courage to ask, simply gazing at her.

A desolate sorrow gradually surfaced in her eyes… He had guessed correctly after all. This ill-timed child only added to her troubles and became a burden. Wearily, he turned his face away. Outside the window, dusk was gathering, the shadows of flowering trees hazy and indistinct. Night had fallen.

Lei Shaogong hadn’t expected him to emerge so soon and knew it must have been an unpleasant encounter. Silently, he followed him into the car. At last, he heard him say, “Let’s go have some Suzhou cuisine.”

The waiter at Yixin Ji, upon seeing him, naturally acted as if he had caught a phoenix. Beaming, he ushered him inside, chattering incessantly along the way, “Third Young Master, it’s been a while since you last honored our humble establishment. Today, we have extremely fresh mandarin fish.” He then called to the counter, “Fetch that twenty-year-old Nü’er Hong from the cellar.”

Though touted as a twenty-year vintage, it was merely the shop’s boastful claim. Still, the Nü’er Hong had a formidable lingering effect. As they drank together, Lei Shaogong remained composed, but Murong Qingyi was already seven or eight parts drunk. Just as the sweet soup was being served, someone pushed the door open and entered, smiling warmly. “Third Young Master, on a day like today, may this uninvited guest offer you a toast?”

Lei Shaogong looked up and saw her dressed in an autumn-fragrance-colored qipao, graceful and poised—it was Xu Changxuan. She was on excellent terms with Jin Rui, who regarded her as a younger sister, so she was also very familiar with Murong Qingyi. Murong Qingyi, heavily intoxicated, merely laughed. “Weren’t you studying abroad? When did you return?” Xu Changxuan replied, “I’ve been back for a while now. I recall today is a special occasion—why are you dining alone here? Where is the young mistress?”

Lei Shaogong, seeing her touch on a sore subject, quickly interjected, “Miss Xu, are you back for a holiday or to stay long-term?” Xu Changxuan said, “Long-term. I’m not leaving again.” Noticing Murong Qingyi gazing at her, she slowly lowered her head.

Madam Murong had returned from her summer retreat in Fenggang, and both Jin Rui and Weiyi came to see her. The children were playing in the courtyard, so the mother and her two daughters conversed in the small parlor. Weiyi asked, “Will Third Sister-in-law be joining us today?” Madam Murong replied, “She’s not feeling well, so I told her not to trouble herself.” Jin Rui said, “I think Third Brother is being utterly unreasonable this time. With Susu in such a state, he’s still fooling around.” Weiyi remarked, “It’s strange. He’s known Changxuan for years—why is he taking a fancy to her only now?”

Jin Rui said, “I think Changxuan is being foolish.” But Madam Murong countered, “Changxuan is anything but foolish—it’s Third Brother who’s being foolish.” She added, “Jin Rui, don’t underestimate Changxuan.”Jin Rui felt displeased. A few days later, she invited Xu Changxuan out for tea. Seeing her wearing a snow-blue cheongsam with cloud-patterned subtle embroidery, Jin Rui remarked, "Why are you dressed so plainly?" Changxuan smiled, "Lately, I find understated elegance more appealing." Jin Rui then said, "Changxuan, you know our Third Young Master—he's terribly good at breaking hearts. Don't fall for his tricks." Changxuan laughed, "Eldest Sister, what are you talking about? I've been spending time with Third Young Master recently, but it's just meals and tea, nothing more." Hearing this, Jin Rui understood somewhat and felt increasingly displeased, saying only, "Well, take care of yourself then."

After the Lunar New Year, Madam Murong, concerned that Susu's due date was approaching and fearing she might lack proper care while living alone, asked her to move back to Shuangqiao for closer attention. When Murong Qingyi returned home, it was merely a fleeting visit—he showed his face and left promptly.

As the weather grew warmer day by day, Susu took walks in the courtyard. Just after passing the Flower Barrier, she suddenly heard a familiar voice—it was Weiyi, but her tone carried some irritation: "Third Brother is being foolish. With Third Sister-in-law about to give birth, he doesn't even come home." The other voice was Jin Rui's: "Exactly. Yet Xu Changxuan seems to have a hold on him." Not wanting to eavesdrop, Susu turned to leave, but in her haste, she twisted her waist, and a sharp pain seized her abdomen. She couldn't help but cry out, "Aiyo!" Jin Rui and Weiyi hurried out from behind the Flower Barrier to check. Seeing Susu drenched in sweat from the pain, Weiyi panicked: "Third Sister-in-law!" Jin Rui said, "It looks like she's in labor. Quick, go get help!" As she spoke, she stepped forward to support Susu.

Susu was in such agony that she felt faint. Though Madam Murong remained calm, she paced restlessly in the living room. After sitting for a moment, she stood up again, then asked after a while, "Has Third Young Master returned yet?" Weiyi replied, "He must be nearly here by now." Jin Rui, comparatively composed, remarked, "Mother, you're too partial. When I gave birth to Xiao Rui, I didn't see you like this." Madam Murong sighed, "This child... ah..." Just then, she looked up and saw Murong Qingyi had returned, his face pale. She comforted him, "It still seems early from the looks of it. Don't worry." Despite her words, Murong Qingyi remained agitated, pacing back and forth like a caged animal, constantly glancing toward the upstairs.