Overdo

A faint, dazed smile curved Susu's lips. Mulan said, "Don't be like this. He did stand up for you after all, otherwise he wouldn't have told you not to associate with her."

Susu roused herself and said, "Let's not talk about this anymore. Let's order some food—I'm actually quite hungry now." Mulan hesitated for a moment before saying, "There's one more thing... I don't know if I should tell you."

Susu sighed softly and said, "Whatever it is, just say it." Mulan replied, "I only heard it from others—they say Wang Qilin is pregnant." Susu's face turned deathly pale, her gaze fixed rigidly on the teacup before her as if trying to bore a hole through it. Mulan gently shook her shoulder, "Susu, don't scare me like this. It's just a rumor—we don't even know if it's true." Susu picked up the menu, and Mulan noticed her hand trembling slightly, though her face showed no expression at all. Urgently, Mulan said, "If you want to cry, just let it out properly." Susu slowly raised her head, her voice barely audible, "I won't cry. I'll never cry again."

Mulan watched as she called the waiter to order, appearing completely unperturbed. When the food arrived, she merely kept scooping the water shield soup, filling the bowl to the brim without stopping, until it overflowed. Mulan exclaimed, "Susu!" Only then did she notice, putting down the spoon and saying, "This soup is too salty—it makes my mouth dry." Mulan said, "You don't look well. Let me take you home." She shook her head, "No need, the driver is waiting for me downstairs." Mulan had no choice but to stand and see her downstairs, watching her get into the car. Susu even smiled at Mulan and said, "You should go home—it's already so late."

Twenty-One

The calmer and more composed she appeared, the more uneasy Mulan felt. The next day, she called her again, "Susu, are you alright?" Susu replied, "I'm fine." Not wanting to say much over the phone, Mulan could only exchange a few pleasantries before hanging up. The moment Susu put down the receiver, the phone rang again. It was Murong Qingyi, asking, "What are you doing at home? I'm coming back today—will you wait to have dinner with me?" Susu murmured, "Alright, I'll wait for you." He said, "What's wrong? You sound upset." She whispered, "I'm not upset. I've been perfectly happy." Sensing something amiss, he pressed further, "Tell me the truth—what happened?" She replied, "Nothing. I probably caught a chill while sleeping yesterday, so I have a bit of a headache."

In the afternoon, the summer heat grew increasingly oppressive. Lying in bed, her neck was damp with sweat, sticky and uncomfortable, making her wish she could take another bath. Gradually, her mind grew hazy and her eyes heavy; the book in her hand slowly lowered as drowsiness overtook her. In her half-awake state, she felt someone gently press a hand to her forehead. Opening her eyes, the first thing she saw was the gleaming epaulettes on his shoulders. He hadn't changed out of his uniform, likely having come straight upstairs after getting out of the car. He was breathing heavily from hurrying. In such weather, his face was naturally covered in sweat. Seeing her open her eyes, he smiled and asked, "Did I wake you? I was worried you had a fever—your face is so flushed."She shook her head and said, "Go change your clothes. It's so hot outside." After he had bathed and changed, she had already fallen asleep again, her brows slightly furrowed as if veiled in a faint mist. Unconsciously, he leaned down, as if wanting to kiss away the furrow between her brows, but the moment his lips touched her forehead, she startled awake, instinctively shrinking back, her eyes flashing with unmistakable disgust. He froze for a moment, then reached out to grasp her hand. She remained motionless, letting him hold it, but lowered her gaze. He asked, "What's wrong with you?" She merely shook her head. He pressed, "What exactly happened?" She replied simply, "Nothing." His frustration grew. She was right in front of him, yet she felt distant—so distant it made him restless. "Susu, something's on your mind," he said. Still indifferent, she replied, "No."

The weather was sweltering, and the cicadas outside the window were screeching relentlessly. He struggled to contain his impatience. "Don't hide it from me. If something's wrong, just say it plainly."

She remained silent, and he grew quietly angry. "I rushed back early just because I was worried about you. Why do you always treat me like this? What exactly do you want from me?"

What right did she have to demand anything? That he remembered her at all was already a great kindness. Why should she dare to hope for more? The bitter smile on her lips only fueled his irritation. "Don't be ungrateful!" Her retreat made him turn away in helpless defeat. He had tried so hard, been so careful, yet she was still afraid of him—even beginning to loathe him. In recent days, she had given him hope, but today, that hope had vanished.

He looked at her. Her face was pale, fragile as a blade of grass, but that grass had taken root in his heart, spreading a desolate barrenness. He suppressed his temper, afraid he might say something hurtful again, but she remained silent. Silently, he clenched his fists, his nails digging deeply into his palms. She was right there before him, yet she felt so far away—as if an insurmountable chasm lay between them. Only she, only she could make him feel so powerless, so utterly helpless, with no recourse, not even the solace of self-deception.

He had gone to Shuangqiao to see his parents and stayed to have dinner with Madam Murong. After the meal, while drinking coffee in the lounge, Madam Murong dismissed the servants and asked him with a grave expression, "What's the matter with that Wang Qilin?" He hadn't expected her to bring up this person and was taken aback for a moment before replying, "Why are you asking about her, Mother?" Madam Murong said, "Rumors are flying everywhere—I think you've lost your senses. I heard she's carrying your child. Is it true?" Murong Qingyi blurted out, "Impossible. I haven't seen her since the beginning of the year." Madam Murong's expression softened slightly, but her tone remained stern. "You can't brush this off. Tell me the truth honestly. If you refuse, I'll have your father question you." Murong Qingyi said, "Mother, I wouldn't be so reckless. I did spend some time with her, but we parted ways after the Lunar New Year. The child must be a lie. If it were true, she'd be at least six months along—how could she still be out in public?"Madam Murong finally nodded gently, "That's good. I originally thought so too—you wouldn't be so careless. But with others spreading rumors everywhere, they're ultimately pinning it on you."

Murong Qingyi said angrily, "How ridiculous. I never expected her to act so recklessly." Madam Murong replied, "Ultimately, it's your lack of caution. You always have to learn the hard way. Susu may ignore your romantic entanglements, but if she hears such talk, it would truly break her heart." Murong Qingyi thought of her expression and suddenly realized, "I'm afraid she's already heard—when I came back today, her demeanor was very off." Madam Murong said, "It's all because you keep making mistakes. Her giving you a cold shoulder is only right."

Feeling guilty, he hesitated on the way home about how to explain. Yet upon returning, the maid said, "The young mistress has gone out." He asked, "Where did she go?" The maid replied, "Right after you left, the young mistress received a phone call and went out." Noticing Susu's car was still at home, he asked, "Who called? Why didn't the young mistress take the car?" The maid shook her head, "I don't know that."

Summer days naturally grew dark late. As night deepened, the outlines of the trees outside the window blurred like ink diluted with water, forming indistinct masses. Growing restless, he paced back and forth in the living room. Lei Shaogong, who was about to go off duty and head home, came in and, seeing his state, grew concerned. He suggested, "Third Young Master, should we send people out to look for her?" Recalling her demeanor earlier that day—the cold, weak, yet resolute look in her eyes—Murong Qingyi suddenly felt a chill of dread, fearing she might do something drastic. His mind instantly became unsettled. He hurriedly said, "Quick! Have everyone search for her."

Lei Shaogong acknowledged and went out to make arrangements. Worried, Murong Qingyi paced a few more times before remembering something. He said to Lei Shaogong, "Call Wang Qilin for me. I have something to ask her."

When Wang Qilin heard Murong Qingyi's voice, she laughed like silver bells, "What brings you to think of me today?" Unwilling to engage in lengthy conversation, Murong Qingyi said directly, "What nonsense have you been spreading outside?" Wang Qilin exclaimed in surprise, "I haven't said anything! Why do you sound so accusatory?" He sneered, "Don't play dumb. Even my mother has heard—you're pregnant? With whom?" Wang Qilin lightly scoffed and said in a coquettish tone, "You heartless man, how can you hurt me with your words like this? Who told you such a thing? Who would be so malicious as to spread such a rumor? If my family hears this, wouldn't it upset the elders?"