Zhou Wan: "..."
She was a bit startled by Lu Xixiao's overly blunt honesty.
But during the few months they had dated before, Zhou Wan had often coaxed him, so she wasn't entirely inexperienced.
However, she recalled the first time Lu Xixiao got angry after they started dating, when he had said—
"Saying 'sorry' when your boyfriend is angry isn't very useful. Doing something practical works better."
"What kind of practical thing?"
"For example, a kiss, and I'll forgive you."
...
Because of this memory, Zhou Wan couldn't help but glance at Lu Xixiao's lips.
They were thin lips, looking exactly like those of someone cold and unfeeling. Before, Zhou Wan had overheard classmates discussing Lu Xixiao's appearance, saying his lip shape was the standard "playboy lips."
But in Zhou Wan's memory, Lu Xixiao was very fond of kissing.
Their first kiss was on that snowy night. The surroundings were freezing cold, but she only remembered that Lu Xixiao's body was scorching hot, very warm.
Unconsciously, her face flushed, and she turned away.
But she still wanted to make Lu Xixiao happy.
After hesitating for a moment, she quickly straightened up and leaned over, her lips forcefully bumping against his cheek.
Lu Xixiao couldn't help but chuckle, licked his lower lip, and turned his head: "Why are you shortchanging me?"
Zhou Wan was a bit stunned, her face burning: "Huh?"
"Before, when you coaxed me, it wasn't just the cheek."
"..."
Zhou Wan averted her gaze, feeling the air in the car was too thin to breathe. She rolled down the window and said awkwardly, "Well... we're not together yet."
Lu Xixiao laughed: "We're not together yet, and you can already kiss my cheek?"
"..."
"Zhou Wan, I didn't expect you to be so bold."
"..."
Zhou Wan simply ignored him.
With Lu Xixiao, the more you paid attention to him, the more he would push his luck.
When they got home, there were still ingredients left from the last time they went shopping. Zhou Wan took out a pack of frozen chicken wings, planning to fry them for dinner.
Lu Xixiao took them from her, filled a basin with water, and put the chicken wings in to thaw.
"Let me do it," Zhou Wan said.
Lu Xixiao took her hand and looked at her wrist again, frowning slightly.
He hadn't held back his strength earlier, and it had rubbed her skin raw.
"Does it hurt?"
Zhou Wan shook her head.
Lu Xixiao gently rubbed his thumb over the spot, then pulled her along as he turned to find a first-aid kit. He tore open a bandage and carefully applied it to the raw skin.
It was really just a slight abrasion, without even a trace of blood, and it didn't hurt at all. There was no need for a bandage.
Seeing his serious expression, Zhou Wan felt like laughing: "It really doesn't hurt at all."
She hadn't had an easy life since she was young, so she never lived delicately and never paid much attention to minor bumps and scrapes.
"Why didn't you say anything if I bit you too hard?"
As soon as he said it, Lu Xixiao felt like he was being hypocritical and pressed his lips together.
Zhou Wan smiled faintly and replied, "I didn't think to mention it."
"..."
Lu Xixiao didn't let her near the kitchen counter anymore and simply shooed her out of the kitchen.
It was just a minor abrasion, yet he was making such a fuss—applying a bandage and not letting her do any work. It felt a bit exaggerated.
Zhou Wan sat on the sofa, watching Lu Xixiao's back in the kitchen.
She couldn't help but smile, but after a while, she thought of something else, and the corners of her mouth drooped.
Ever since her father passed away, she hadn't dared to act spoiled with anyone without restraint.When she was younger, every time she got her period, her stomach would ache terribly. She didn’t dare tell Grandma, who was in poor health, and Guo Xiangling had already left by then.
At that time, her relationship with Guo Xiangling wasn’t as strained as it later became. At first, Zhou Wan tried to understand her, knowing that life wasn’t easy for her and that leaving home was the only way for her to live the life she wanted.
During their occasional phone calls, she still called her "Mom."
Then one night, she got her period shortly after eating cold-natured crab, and the pain was especially severe.
She was drenched in sweat, her pajamas soaked through, her lips pale, and her insides churning as if they were twisting into a knot, ready to be vomited out.
With no other choice, she dialed Guo Xiangling’s number.
It was very late, and Guo Xiangling hung up on the first call.
But Zhou Wan was in too much pain to endure it, afraid she might actually pass out from the agony, so she called again.
Fortunately, Guo Xiangling answered this time.
"Mom," Zhou Wan’s voice trembled from the pain.
"Hmm, Wanwan." Guo Xiangling’s voice was groggy. "What is it so late?"
"My stomach hurts—cramps, really bad."
Tears streamed down Zhou Wan’s face from the physical pain, her consciousness blurring. She felt like she was dying, stammering, "Mom, please save me, it hurts so much. Mom, I’m begging you… come see me, please…"
And what did Guo Xiangling say then?
She said:
"Wanwan, you’re being too selfish."
"Wanwan, be more obedient, more sensible."
"Wanwan, think about me too. My life isn’t easy, and you’re using this excuse to make me come see you so late, just to cause me more trouble."
…
That night, Zhou Wan’s pain blurred her consciousness, but she managed to endure it.
From then on, she never ate crab again and grew accustomed to enduring everything on her own.
She didn’t want to trouble others.
She didn’t want to be seen as a burden.
Lu Xixiao hadn’t cooked in a long time, but he’d done it often during his years abroad, so he wasn’t too rusty.
He brought the dishes to the table and called Zhou Wan over to eat.
In the center of the table was a plate of steamed crab. Zhou Wan suddenly felt dazed, blinking before returning to normal. "Lu Xixiao."
"Hmm?"
"When did you buy this crab?"
"Someone gave it to me this morning." He picked the best crab, cracked the shell, and placed it in front of Zhou Wan.
His fingers were slender and bony, stained with crab roe as he deftly cleaned the crab. The middle was filled with rich roe and crab paste, which he split in half and placed entirely in front of Zhou Wan.
Zhou Wan stared intently, picked up the shell, and ate quietly for a while before saying softly, "It’s been so long since I’ve eaten crab."
"Don’t you like it?"
"No, I do like it. It’s just that once in seventh grade, I ate crab, and because it’s cold-natured, my cramps were especially severe, so I didn’t dare eat it again."
Lu Xixiao frowned, thinking for a moment. "Isn’t your period at the end of the month?"
Zhou Wan paused, then nodded.
"Then it’s fine. It’s still early. Just don’t eat too much."
Zhou Wan froze, looking up at Lu Xixiao with a focused expression.
He smiled. "What’s wrong?"
"Lu Xixiao, do you think I’m a lot of trouble?"
"Hmm?" He raised an eyebrow casually. "Like what?"
"Like having to take care of me, cook dinner for me, even though you’re tired from work too.""You used to do this for me before, and besides, that hand was bitten by me—I need to atone for my sin."
"..."
Oh, right.
He was the one who bit her hand.
Zhou Wan nodded to herself, took a bite of crab meat, then remembered something else: "Also, you have to peel the crab for me too."
Lu Xixiao chuckled.
His originally sharp features and contours softened under his smile and the warm lighting. Zhou Wan saw her own reflection in his pitch-black pupils.
In his smile, her silhouette blurred, tiny.
As if seeing that little Zhou Wan from before.
"I like it when you trouble me."
Lu Xixiao paused, then said, "Remember that child I sponsored for schooling?"
"Mm."I'm actually not the type to easily overflow with love." I chose to sponsor her because I seemed to see a younger version of you in her."
Zhou Wan froze.
"That time we visited, she told me she didn't want to study anymore, didn't want to stay home, continuing to burden Grandma. She felt she was a burden, a hindrance. She thought her father worked harder because of her, which led to his death, and that she was the reason Grandma was left alone and helpless."
"..."
"At that moment, I thought, if only I could have met you earlier."
Lu Xixiao looked at her quietly, held her hand, his voice low: "I could have told that helpless little Zhou Wan, don't be afraid, don't rush, I'll stay by your side, I'll grow up with you."
We'll face hardships and changes together.
At least in my eyes, you'll never be a burden.
Because you are the destination I'll spend my whole life chasing.
After dinner, Zhou Wan still had some news articles to write. After showering, she sat on the sofa with her laptop typing—this was the same computer she'd won from a lottery draw last time.
Lu Xixiao sat beside her handling emails when suddenly, his phone vibrated.
It was a message from Jiang Fan.
In the first two years after high school graduation, he and Jiang Fan still occasionally kept in touch, but they had almost no contact in recent years.
Jiang Fan said he was getting married at the end of the month and asked if Lu Xixiao had time to attend.
Lu Xixiao showed the message to Zhou Wan.
"He's getting married." Zhou Wan had lost contact with all her old friends after her phone was stolen.
"Mm, want to go?"
"Can I come too?"
"Come with me."
Zhou Wan hesitated slightly.
Then the next second, Lu Xixiao's phone vibrated again.
[Jiang Fan: Don't come alone, bring your girlfriend too.]
Zhou Wan: "..."
After a pause, she nodded: "Okay."
It had been so long since she'd seen those people from before, and Jiang Fan was probably Lu Xixiao's closest friend from high school.
"How has Jiang Fan been doing?"
"He got into a local university and now works here in Pingchuan City."
Zhou Wan nodded, her thoughts returning to the earlier matter with Jiang Yan. She actively said: "If there are any more work-related matters involving Jiang Yan later, I'll tell my supervisor and have someone else handle them.""
Lu Xixiao smiled: "I don't particularly like him, but I've never really considered him worth worrying about either, so there's no need to deliberately avoid him. If it's work, just go."
"However." He paused, narrowing his eyes slightly as he gently pinched Zhou Wan's wrist. "Don't spend too much time alone with him."
Zhou Wan obediently nodded: "I know."A few days later, a special seminar was scheduled regarding Jiang Yan's new discovery that earned him the Highest Physics Award, with exclusive media coverage arranged.
Perhaps due to Zhou Wan's connections, their newspaper received an invitation.
Although Lu Xixiao had told her there was no need to avoid work-related events deliberately, Zhou Wan genuinely disliked dealing with ambiguous relationships and requested leave from her editor-in-chief to withdraw from the project.
At the end of the month, she and Lu Xixiao were supposed to return to Pingchuan for Jiang Fan's wedding, so she extended her leave accordingly.
The editor glanced at the calendar and approved: "Alright, we've just hired two interns. The end of the month should be relatively free, so you can go without worry."
In the afternoon, with some free time, Zhou Wan wandered around casually, intending to buy a wedding gift for Jiang Fan.
After browsing aimlessly for a while, she thought of asking Lu Xixiao.
[Zhou Wan: Do you know what Jiang Fan likes? I'm buying a wedding gift for him.]
Lu Xixiao didn't reply.
He was probably busy.
Zhou Wan then searched online for popular wedding gifts. Conventional bright red gifts would likely end up unused and uninteresting.
After browsing, she finally settled on a scented candle and a wax melt lamp—simple, elegant, and suitable for a bedroom—a gift that was neither too flashy nor likely to miss the mark.
...
Meanwhile, Lu Xixiao was attending Jiang Yan's seminar. Jiang Yan's new discovery, when applied to practical technology, could lead to a leap in the autonomous driving field that their company was developing.
Many leaders from related industries attended the seminar, hoping to bid for his patented technology.
Jiang Yan, dressed in a shirt and suit, stood confidently at the podium, speaking eloquently and without arrogance.
He had indeed honed his skills considerably over the years.
Lu Xixiao sat in the audience, his secretary beside him asking if he wanted to approach Jiang Yan later.
Everyone present wanted to secure the patent technology in Jiang Yan's hands.
"No need," Lu Xixiao said. He knew Jiang Yan, though pragmatic and not above self-interest, was narrow-minded. No matter how high the offer, he would never sell the technology.
"After this, find out who collaborated with him on this experiment."
"Understood."
The seminar concluded.
Most attendees lingered, gathering around Jiang Yan, but Lu Xixiao turned and left immediately.
Stepping outside the hall, he checked his phone and saw Zhou Wan's messages.
One asking what Jiang Fan liked.
The other was a picture of an elegantly wrapped box—she had already made her choice.
[Lu Xixiao: Was in a meeting just now]
[Lu Xixiao: Off work yet?]
[Zhou Wan: I took the afternoon off. Heading home now. Are you working overtime?]
[Lu Xixiao: No, heading back soon too.]
[Zhou Wan: Okay, what do you want for dinner?]
Lu Xixiao couldn't help but smile and replied with a voice message: "Don't cook. I'll make dinner when I get back."
Zhou Wan ignored him and listed a few dishes, asking if they would work for dinner.
In the age of short videos, Lu Xixiao didn't care for them, but from overhearing others' videos, he knew many couples filmed content showcasing how much the boyfriend spoiled the girlfriend.
With Zhou Wan, it was the opposite—he was the one being pampered.After putting his phone back in his pocket, Lu Xixiao took out a cigarette and clamped it between his teeth. Just as he was about to grab his lighter, a hand reached out from beside him—Jiang Yan flicked the lighter open.
Lu Xixiao glanced at him, then subtly lowered his head, cupping one hand to shield the flame as he lit the cigarette.
He exhaled a puff of smoke and turned his head. "Something on your mind?"
"Things were too rushed the other day. I didn’t get a chance to apologize to you."
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow.
"It’s been almost seven years now, hasn’t it? What happened seven years ago—I’m sorry."
When a person is trapped in the mire, they cling desperately to their dignity, becoming stubborn and obstinate. Even when they know they’re at fault, they can’t face it honestly, twisting right and wrong instead.
But when they stand at the top, granted the privilege of looking down on everyone, with the right to make mistakes, they can calmly confront their own faults—because it no longer matters. A simple, offhand "I’m sorry" seems enough to restore their image as someone without a single flaw.
That’s the ugliness of human nature.
And that’s what makes Zhou Wan so precious.
Lu Xixiao let out a low laugh, unwilling to engage. He remarked with faint mockery, "Impressive that you remembered for so long."
Today, Jiang Yan was being celebrated by everyone, floating on cloud nine. He paid no mind to the sarcasm.
"Honestly, I never expected you to still be with Zhou Wan. Back then, she dated you while hiding the truth about her mother. I thought with your pride, you’d never look back."
Jiang Yan chuckled. "I never imagined you’d lower your head and endure that humiliation of kneeling back then."
Words like these couldn’t touch Lu Xixiao’s sore spots.
His expression didn’t change at all. He leisurely exhaled a plume of smoke, his tone carrying a hint of amusement. "Talking like you’re my own brother. Do you really know me that well?"
He lightly tapped the cigarette, ash falling away, and swept a narrow-eyed glance at Jiang Yan.
Even though Jiang Yan was the center of attention today, Lu Xixiao’s gaze remained arrogant and defiant. Jiang Yan found no sense of victory in facing him.
"So I knelt. Did I lose a piece of flesh?" he said carelessly. "Still better than you, who liked her for years but never had the guts to say it—couldn’t even save her when she needed it."
The smile finally froze on Jiang Yan’s face.
But Lu Xixiao had no interest in savoring his expression. He turned to leave.
"Lu Xixiao!" Jiang Yan suddenly called out.
He stopped but didn’t turn back.
Jiang Yan sneered coldly. "Do you really think Zhou Wan actually likes you?"
He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing every reaction from Lu Xixiao. "You should know her better than I do. Whoever treats her well, she repays twofold. That’s just her nature. What she feels for you is nothing but guilt—she just wants to make it up to you. From start to finish, she’s never once liked you."
Lu Xixiao turned around. The evening sun slanted in, casting long shadows.
"I thought you might have grown some skill," he said, looking at Jiang Yan with a mocking expression. "But it seems you’re still the same as before."
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