Zhou Wan shook her head and said, "It's nothing. I took some stomach medicine and I'm fine now."
"Mm."
Lu Xixiao led her inside. Both of their shoes, left at the entryway, were caked with mud.
Zhou Wan slipped her bare feet into slippers, then crouched down to pick up the dirty shoes.
Noticing this, Lu Xixiao asked, "What are you doing?"
"They're dirty. I'm going to wash them."
"Don't." Lu Xixiao took them from her hands and tossed them back in place. "Your hands can't touch cold water, and you can't handle laundry detergent either. Why bother washing these?"
"It's not that I can't touch them," Zhou Wan corrected. "I just get a few small red rashes, but they disappear after a while."
Lu Xixiao ignored her remark and glanced at her pant legs. "Don't handwash your pants either. Just throw them in the washing machine."
He turned and walked toward the living room, pausing briefly before adding, "I'll wash the shoes after dinner."
A faint smile tugged at Zhou Wan's lips. "Do you even know how to wash them?"
Lu Xixiao sprawled on the sofa, looking nonchalant. "I'll give it a try."
They ordered takeout for dinner.
After they finished eating, Zhou Wan cleared the table while Lu Xixiao actually took the two pairs of dirty shoes to wash.
After tossing the packed takeout containers into the trash bin by the door, Zhou Wan went to find Lu Xixiao in the inner room.
The water was running loudly, splashing noisily. The young man had his head lowered, water splashing onto the back of his hands and spraying everywhere, dampening the edges of the counter.
He held a brush, scrubbing the edges of the shoes. The water in the sink instantly turned murky, but he didn't seem to mind the dirt, continuing to clean the shoes in the water.
"Lu Xixiao," Zhou Wan called out as she walked over, leaning against his back. "I didn't expect you to actually know how to wash shoes."
He switched to the other shoe and kept scrubbing. Though it was already April, the weather had remained chilly these past few days. He was using cold water, and his hands had turned red from soaking, veins prominent.
Zhou Wan reached out and adjusted the water temperature to warm for him.
He chuckled softly. "Did you think all these years I've lived alone, I sent my dirty clothes and shoes to the dry cleaner every time?"
Zhou Wan paused for a moment.
She spread her arms and wrapped them around Lu Xixiao's waist from behind, pressing her cheek against his back.
"What's wrong?" Lu Xixiao tilted his head to glance at her.
"Nothing." Zhou Wan nuzzled her cheek against his back like a cat seeking warmth.
As he moved, the collar of his shirt slipped down slightly, revealing the edge of a tattoo.
Lu Xixiao glanced up at the mirror in front of him. He set the freshly washed, dripping shoes aside, drained the dirty water, and after washing his hands, subtly tugged his collar back up to cover the tattoo again.
He reached back and took Zhou Wan's wrist, pulling her to his side. With his other hand, he flicked the water droplets clinging to his fingers onto her face.
Zhou Wan laughed and leaned back, letting out a soft exclamation before swatting his shoulder.
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow, teasing her. "You're getting more and more comfortable hitting me now."
"You started it."
"When we first met, you at least pretended to be well-behaved around me. Not anymore?" Lu Xixiao pinched her cheek, his smile a little roguish. "Zhou Wan, were you deliberately acting to reel me in at the beginning?"
"I wasn't," Zhou Wan muttered. "Besides, you saw through my act from the start anyway. I couldn't fool you."
"True," Lu Xixiao laughed. "I knew right away you weren't some goody-two-shoes."
He paused, his voice lowering slightly, the laughter fading to reveal a tender seriousness. "So, Zhou Wan, I knew what you were like from the very beginning. And it's that version of you that I fell for."
Zhou Wan blinked at him.Suddenly, she remembered a night long ago when she had injured her leg and had been drinking. Lu Xixiao had carried her on his back as they walked down the street.
Half-drunk, she had rambled on and on, repeating things like "bad" and "not bad" in a loop.
At the time, Lu Xixiao hadn’t asked any further questions. He just tugged at the corner of his mouth and said carelessly, "So what if you turn bad?"
He said—
"Zhou Wan, it’s okay to turn bad. There will always be someone who loves you, even like that."
Love me when I’m dirty, not when I’m clean. When I’m clean, everyone loves me.
There will be someone who loves you at any time, in any form.
The midterm exams had just ended. Today’s classes were all about reviewing the test papers, with no new lessons taught, so there wasn’t much homework—just organizing the mistakes and doing some previewing.
After finishing her homework, Zhou Wan spent another hour continuing to teach Lu Xixiao the lessons he had missed before.
When they finished, it was still early. She dug out an old movie from the TV cabinet.
The curtains were drawn, and the lights were turned off.
It was a romantic art film. Lu Xixiao didn’t like this kind of movie and quickly lost focus, picking up his phone to scroll through it aimlessly.
Zhou Wan couldn’t concentrate either, her mind filled with what had happened earlier that day.
She had met with Lu Zhongyue and laid everything out in the open.
She had just turned 17, with no ability or confidence to speak of. She had barely managed to grasp Lu Zhongyue’s weakness to threaten him, but at the same time, she was constrained by him.
As long as he kept his promise and drove Guo Xiangling away, Zhou Wan would also have to keep her word—to disappear from Lu Xixiao’s world from then on.
Such a wonderful Lu Xixiao.
Beneath his sharp exterior lay a once-shattered interior and a tender heart.
Her boy was unrestrained, bold, open, unafraid to love or hate, and utterly sincere.
His world was real—his joys, angers, sorrows, and delights were all genuine, without a trace of pretense.
His carefree attitude was real, his loneliness and fragility were real, his aloofness and detachment were real, and his solitary courage and kindness were real too.
Perhaps it was because of this that Zhou Wan found herself irresistibly drawn to him.
But someone like her could never truly match Lu Xixiao.
From the very beginning, she hadn’t been sincere. She had approached him with dark intentions. Even if she had later bared her chest and offered him her bloodied heart, it couldn’t change the fact that she had started with deception and hypocrisy.
The images on the TV screen blurred before her eyes. Zhou Wan blinked slowly and turned her head to look at Lu Xixiao.
He was lounging lazily on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. His fingers moved across the screen aimlessly, clearly not paying much attention to the content.
"Is this movie boring?" Zhou Wan asked.
"Huh?"
As if snapping out of his thoughts, he paused and said, "It’s alright."
Zhou Wan caught a glimpse of a local notification on his phone—the tallest building in Pingchuan City, known as the "City Eye," was officially opening tomorrow, along with a new Western restaurant.
"Should we go there tomorrow?" Zhou Wan asked.
"Sure," Lu Xixiao said. "But it’s the first day of opening, and it’s in the evening. I’m not sure if we can still get a reservation."
Zhou Wan: "What about lunchtime? It’s a weekday, so there should be fewer people, right?"
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow: "Aren’t you going to school?"
"Just for tomorrow," Zhou Wan said, her eyes curving into a smile. "I want to treat you to a meal."
Lu Xixiao chuckled lightly: "What for?""I did say before that I'd treat you after the competition with the prize money. Although there's no prize money now, I still have some savings and can afford to take you out for a meal."
Let this be a proper farewell.
She had been immersed in a wonderful dream, unwilling to wake up.
But eventually, she had no choice but to face reality.
The next day, Zhou Wan asked her teacher for another day off and went with Lu Xixiao to the "City Eye."
She wore the clothes Lu Xixiao had bought for her last time, while he wore a different color, making them look like a matching couple set.
Lu Xixiao usually wore dark colors—black, white, or gray—but today he had on a light-colored outfit that made him look incredibly youthful, even softening the edges of his features.
As they walked, Zhou Wan couldn't help but glance at him repeatedly.
Lu Xixiao caught her several times and chuckled, "What are you looking at?"
Zhou Wan averted her gaze, pretending not to care. "Nothing."
"You're not being honest at all."
"I saw so many girls on the street turning to look at you," Zhou Wan said. "I just wanted to see what was so special."
"Nothing special, just that your boyfriend is too handsome," Lu Xixiao teased. "What should we do? Maybe you should cover my face so others won't stare."
"..."
The second floor of the tallest building housed the newly opened Western restaurant.
Zhou Wan had made a reservation the night before. All the window seats were already taken, so she managed to secure the last available table in a corner.
They took their seats.
Whenever they ate out, Lu Xixiao always ordered, and this time was no exception.
However, he ordered sparingly, likely because Zhou Wan had insisted on treating. She added a few signature dishes from the menu based on online reviews.
Of the 150,000 yuan Guo Xiangling had given her, some had been spent on Grandma's medical treatment and funeral expenses. Not much remained now.
But to Zhou Wan, this money symbolized her guilt, and she wanted it all to end once this matter was settled.
After the meal, Zhou Wan got up to pay the bill.
As she stood at the counter, her phone rang.
—Guo Xiangling.
Zhou Wan lowered her gaze and answered the call.
She pressed the phone to her ear, greeted by Guo Xiangling's shrill voice demanding to know if she had done something.
Zhou Wan's eyelashes fluttered slightly.
She hadn't expected Lu Zhongyue to act so quickly.
Which meant she, too, had to make a decision.
Zhou Wan didn't listen further. Expressionlessly, she ended the call and blocked Guo Xiangling's number.
It was all over.
When she returned to the table, Lu Xixiao was looking at his phone. Zhou Wan walked up behind him and saw he was browsing the ticket purchase page for the "City Eye" observation deck.
She paused. "Are we going up?"
"Since we're already here."
"But you..." Zhou Wan hesitated. "It's so high up. Are you sure it's okay?"
Lu Xixiao replied casually, "Why wouldn't it be?"
He took Zhou Wan's hand and led her to a ticket machine, where he scanned a QR code and two tickets printed out.
A long line had formed in front of the elevator, with staff directing visitors in groups.
Fortunately, the elevator wasn't made of transparent glass. Aside from some ear pressure during the rapid ascent, there was no other discomfort.
Zhou Wan held Lu Xixiao's hand tightly the entire time, watching his expression out of the corner of her eye.She hadn't intended to go up with him initially—at that height, his fear of heights would surely act up. But then she recalled reading somewhere that stress reactions triggered by childhood trauma like this could be treated through exposure therapy by confronting the fear head-on.
In the future, she wouldn't be by his side anymore.
She hoped Lu Xixiao could move forward fearlessly and unwaveringly.
A youth like him ought to be unrestrained and free.
Nothing should hold him back.
No one should hold him back.
...
The elevator doors opened, revealing a spacious circular observation deck surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a clear view of the buildings and river outside.
The vehicles and pedestrians below looked as small as ants, bustling about in their respective lives.
Almost the moment the elevator doors opened, Zhou Wan noticed Lu Xixiao's entire body stiffen.
Uncontrollably, the image of Shen Lan jumping from the balcony in the past surfaced in his mind.
A "thud—"
A heavy, dull sound.
Crimson blood seeped from beneath her pale face, spreading out.
It dyed his pupils and retinas red, painful and piercing, turning the whole world blood-colored.
Then, a soft, warm sensation enveloped his hand, and Zhou Wan's clear, gentle voice sounded by his ear: "—Lu Xixiao, don't be afraid."
He snapped back to reality, breaking free from that hysteria.
Zhou Wan held his hand, looking up at him earnestly.
His Adam's apple bobbed, sweat beaded on his forehead, but he gradually calmed down: "Mm."
"See, it's actually not so bad. It's just that the view outside is a bit different from usual," Zhou Wan said softly, guiding him forward slowly. "But the sky is the same."
Around them, people were striking poses in front of the glass for photos. Outside, there was a facility similar to a glass walkway found in scenic spots—narrow, allowing only one person to pass at a time, as if a slight misstep could send one plummeting from this height of several hundred meters.
Adventurous visitors were trying it out, equipped with safety gear, exposing themselves to the fierce winds at this altitude, their hair whipping wildly in the gusts.
Zhou Wan glanced in that direction.
Lu Xixiao turned to her and asked, "Want to try it?"
She quickly shook her head.
Lu Xixiao: "If you want to, go ahead."
"Will you be okay here alone?"
"I'll go with you."
Zhou Wan was taken aback.
She knew full well how severe Lu Xixiao's fear of heights was—even the five or six stories up to the school rooftop could make him pale and drenched in sweat. Now, he was already uncomfortable in this room, let alone outside where the wind was so strong and the floor beneath was transparent glass.
But she also knew Lu Xixiao wasn't the type to force himself for the sake of pride. If he didn't want to go, no one could persuade him.
To be precise, since yesterday evening, Lu Xixiao had been acting somewhat strange.
Zhou Wan studied him for a moment: "Aren't you afraid?"
He lowered his gaze, his tone calm and composed, as if stating the most natural thing in the world: "With you here, I'm not afraid."
...
After putting on the safety gear, with a line attached to the overhead rail and helmets secured, the door to the outside opened.
The moment it did, the roar of the wind filled their ears, drowning out even human voices. The staff double-checked their equipment and loudly repeated the precautions, explaining that if they became too frightened midway, they could use the walkie-talkie to call for assistance.
Zhou Wan walked ahead, holding Lu Xixiao's hand, and slowly moved forward.Even without acrophobia, anyone would feel weak and fearful in such a situation.
"Lu Xixiao."
She moved forward cautiously, step by step, her expression intensely focused and solemn, like a warrior charging into battle, gripping the hand of the person behind her tightly. "Don’t open your eyes now. Just follow me."
Lu Xixiao couldn’t open his eyes.
His acrophobia was far more severe than he had imagined.
If he opened his eyes now, he probably wouldn’t even be able to take a step.
The wind struck his face like coarse blades, sharp and painful, nearly bringing tears to his eyes. Below him, the city was in motion, bustling and noisy.
Whether it was the traffic, the crowds, or even himself, everything seemed insignificant and trivial.
Zhou Wan led him all the way to the southern viewing terrace, each step steady and deliberate.
The viewing terrace extended into a square platform, facing mountains and rivers. It had rained the night before, and a mist lingered in the distance.
"Lu Xixiao," Zhou Wan said, "you can open your eyes now."
Lu Xixiao instinctively tightened his grip on her hand and slowly opened his eyes.
He saw the transparent glass beneath his feet and, further below, the cars and people. Sweat broke out almost instantly.
Zhou Wan looked at him. "Don’t look down. Look ahead. There are mountains in front of you, clouds above them, and wind in the distance."
The wind was loud, forcing Zhou Wan to raise her voice. Her voice was soft by nature, and she was practically shouting.
His gaze gradually lifted.
The wind blew directly into his face.
The midday sun hid behind the mountains, bursting through layers of white mist with bright beams of light, as if breaking free from a cocoon.
For the first time, Lu Xixiao truly stood at a height and felt it.
His soul seemed to drift with the wind.
Zhou Wan also looked at the distant mountains, where sunlight filtered through the thick mist.
She tilted her head slightly and said, "Lu Xixiao, from now on, always look forward and aim high."
"Don’t look back, Lu Xixiao."
She continued, "You must see the vastness of the world, walk the broad and open road, find joy every day, and live in peace year after year."
And you will become the most beautiful dream of my life.
A dream beautiful enough to sustain me through the future.
She grew tired from shouting, and the wind dried her throat, making her want to cough.
She didn’t know if Lu Xixiao had heard her last words clearly.
But suddenly, Lu Xixiao leaned down, lifted her head, and kissed her fiercely.
With urgency and unease, as if desperate to soothe something.
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