Lu Xixiao never made promises about the future to anyone, nor did he ever speak of forever.
This was the first time.
The moment the words left his lips, even he himself was taken aback.
"Zhou Wan, let's spend every New Year together from now on."
"I want you by my side every year."
"I don't like this world, and I have no aspirations for the future. But if you're with me every new year, it seems I can find some interest in what lies ahead."
A few days ago, when Zhou Wan had asked him that question, it seemed he now wanted to change his answer.
—"Lu Xixiao, will we ever separate one day?"
—"I don't know."
—"But I hope we never part."
After New Year's Day, everyone was bustling about, visiting relatives and friends to exchange New Year's greetings.
Even Lu Xixiao was forcibly summoned back by Old Mr. Lu several times.
As for Zhou Wan, because her grandmother had borrowed money from relatives right after Zhou Jun's passing, they had gradually lost contact over the years. These days, she found herself with rare peace and quiet.
While at the library, Zhou Wan received a call from him. She picked up her phone and hurried outside to answer. "Hello?"
His tone was casual and lazy. "What are you up to?"
"I'm at the library," Zhou Wan whispered. "What about you?"
"The old house," he replied, clicking his tongue impatiently. "So annoying."
Zhou Wan laughed. "Are there many relatives there?"
"Don't know any of them well. Why should I bother greeting them?"
Zhou Wan tried to soothe him. "Alright, just bear with it for a little while. You'll be able to leave soon."
"Have dinner with me tonight."
"Okay," Zhou Wan agreed.
Just then, a voice came from Lu Xixiao's end—likely a servant—asking what he'd like to eat for dinner.
Lu Xixiao said he wouldn't be eating there.
Old Mr. Lu happened to walk in and asked why.
Leaning back on the sofa with his legs crossed, he replied lazily, "I'm having dinner with my girlfriend."
Zhou Wan felt her ears grow warm upon hearing this. "What are you saying?"
Fortunately, Old Mr. Lu understood his grandson's temperament. Getting him to come back for a meal at noon was already an achievement—a face-saving gesture—so he didn't press further.
After hanging up, Zhou Wan studied for a while longer before receiving a text from Lu Xixiao saying he had arrived. She quickly packed her things.
Jiang Yan glanced at her. "Going back so early today?"
"Yeah," Zhou Wan smiled. "Going out for dinner."
Jiang Yan frowned slightly but said nothing.
Zhou Wan hurried downstairs and spotted Lu Xixiao from afar. She ran over to him. "Why are you wearing so little again?"
"Not cold," Lu Xixiao said, taking her backpack. "What do you feel like eating?"
Zhou Wan thought for a moment. "Barbecue."
It would be warmer that way.
They found a barbecue restaurant. Just as they finished eating, Jiang Fan called to ask if Lu Xixiao wanted to join them for cards that evening.
Lately, Lu Xixiao had rarely participated in their gatherings, which mostly involved drinking and karaoke—things he had little interest in. So, Jiang Fan seldom invited him to such events anymore.
Before Lu Xixiao could refuse, Jiang Fan cut in, "We're short one person. Waiting for you," and hung up immediately.
Lu Xixiao smirked and put down his phone.
Zhou Wan asked, "Are you going?"
"Do you want to go?" Lu Xixiao replied. "If you don't, we won't."
"I'm fine with it."
Zhou Wan actually didn't want him to cut ties with his friends completely. Even if they were mostly fair-weather friends, it was still nice to gather occasionally—at least it was livelier.
"I'll go with you," Zhou Wan said.
Lu Xixiao headed to the address Jiang Fan had given him and went upstairs.As soon as he pushed open the private room door, everyone clamored that it was getting harder and harder to invite him over these days. Spotting Zhou Wan behind him, they teased him about how clingy he’d become since falling in love.
Lu Xixiao couldn’t be bothered to argue with them. He chuckled and went to sit down.
He didn’t play cards often, only a few times when he was bored in the past.
But his shuffling was quite flashy—his long, slender fingers paired with a series of fluid movements made it look especially cool.
After organizing the cards, he tilted his head and asked, “Do you know how to play?”
“I know the rules.” Zhou Wan had learned by watching Guo Xiangling play cards and mahjong as a child, picking it up without even realizing.
“Want to give it a try?”
Zhou Wan quickly waved her hands. “I’ve never played before.”
The others joked, “Come on, sis! Xixiao’s loaded anyway! If you lose, it’s on him—perfect for us to earn some New Year’s money.”
“New Year’s money, huh?” Lu Xixiao laughed hoarsely, a cigarette between his lips, his tone lazy. “Sure, if you call me ‘daddy’ first.”
The group burst into laughter and mock curses.
When it was his turn to play, he tossed out a pair, then turned to Zhou Wan and asked quietly, “If you lose, it’s on me. Want to give it a try?”
“Let me watch first,” Zhou Wan whispered. “I’ve probably almost forgotten how to play.”
She sat quietly behind Lu Xixiao, watching him play.
On the nearby table was a spread of fruit—strawberries, blueberries, and honeydew. Zhou Wan nibbled on them slowly.
Suddenly, Lu Xixiao turned his face toward her and opened his mouth.
Zhou Wan paused, plucked the leaf from the strawberry stem, and placed it in his mouth.
The guys groaned dramatically, scrunching up their faces in exaggerated discomfort. “Enough already! It’s the New Year—stop torturing us singles.”
Zhou Wan lowered her head, blushing.
Lu Xixiao grinned shamelessly along with them, then glanced at Zhou Wan and called them off. “That’s enough. If you piss her off, you’ll all be kneeling your way out of here.”
Zhou Wan: “…”
As if she had such a terrible temper.
He was the one who got angry at the drop of a hat.
His words were undeniably intimate and indulgent.
Even though they knew Zhou Wan was special—the girlfriend who’d lasted the longest among all of Lu Xixiao’s relationships—they were still taken aback by his remark.
This didn’t sound like the Lu Xixiao they used to know.
They couldn’t help but view Zhou Wan with even greater respect.
Looking at this seemingly docile and obedient girl, she really had some skill—to have Lu Xixiao wrapped around her finger like this.
By the end of the round, wins and losses were fairly even, with Lu Xixiao coming out slightly ahead.
He stood up, pulling Zhou Wan into his seat. “Play however you want. Don’t worry about losing.”
“Then I’ll try to lose less for you,” Zhou Wan said softly.
Zhou Wan’s hands were small, making it hard for her to hold the cards firmly. She organized them slowly, but no one rushed her, patiently waiting for her to get ready. Once she started playing, however, they gradually realized something was off.
Zhou Wan played decisively, having already planned her moves in advance. She even predicted what others would play, never slowing down.
Lu Xixiao watched from the side, raising an eyebrow.
In the first round, Zhou Wan won.
Everyone praised her for hiding her skills. Zhou Wan pressed her lips together and replied that it was just luck—she had good cards.
Her cards were indeed good, but after a few more rounds, they began to sense something unusual.
Her plays were just too precise. Every card she laid down perfectly countered the next player’s, and the fewer cards she had left, the more accurately she countered.
The girl was completely focused while playing, serious and earnest.
In no time, a large pile of chips accumulated in front of her. The round ended in just twenty minutes.
Jiang Fan was left without a single chip. Staring at the cards in disbelief, he asked, “Zhou Wan, can you count cards or something?”Zhou Wan paused for a moment, then nodded, "I can probably remember the cards that have been played."
"..."
They had thought she had never played cards before, hoping to take this opportunity to make Lu Xixiao pay up.
But they forgot—she was the Academic God who could score full marks in math.
After a few more rounds, Zhou Wan won quite a bit more.
Lu Xixiao watched from the side and chuckled lightly, "You're making money for me here."
They didn’t play very late before Lu Xixiao stood up to leave. His friends tried to stop him, saying the person who won couldn’t just call it quits.
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow, "I’ll take her back first."
"Alright, but make sure you come back to keep playing afterward," someone said. "Even if sister-in-law isn’t playing, it’s our turn to win some money!"
Lu Xixiao took Zhou Wan’s hand and left.
"Are you coming back later?" Zhou Wan asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"Don’t stay out too late. Staying up is bad for your health."
He smiled, "Got it."
Once in the taxi, Zhou Wan’s phone buzzed. Lu Xixiao had sent her a transfer. "What’s this?"
"The money you won."
"I was just playing for you for a while."
"We agreed," he squeezed her palm, "losses are on me, wins are yours."
Zhou Wan hesitated, "Maybe you should give the money back to them. We’re all classmates, just playing for fun. It doesn’t feel right to take their money."
Lu Xixiao took her phone directly and pressed "Confirm Receipt."
His gaze lifted slightly, and he noticed the nickname she had for him.
"6?"
As if a secret had been uncovered, Zhou Wan’s mind went blank. She stammered, "Well, your surname is Lu, right? It’s the Chinese numeral for 6, so I changed it to that."
Getting such a nickname out of the blue, Lu Xixiao laughed and asked, "Why haven’t I heard about this before?"
"I changed it a long time ago."
Zhou Wan explained softly, "Back when I first added you, I was too embarrassed to save your real name. I was afraid someone might see it, so I changed it to this."
"Afraid someone might see it," he raised an eyebrow, "Am I that embarrassing?"
Zhou Wan glanced at him and said, "Because you have so many ex-girlfriends. If people found out and word got around, it would attract resentment."
Lu Xixiao laughed, "Zhou Wan, you’ve learned how to turn the tables on me now."
Zhou Wan mumbled, "...It’s true."
"Jealous?"
Zhou Wan froze for a moment and didn’t answer.
In this relationship, what right did she have to be jealous?
But thinking about it carefully, although Lu Xixiao was indeed very popular with girls, since they had gotten together, Zhou Wan hadn’t really been troubled or jealous because of it.
He was laid-back and aloof by nature, never paying special attention to other girls, and he had completely cut ties with his past relationships.
In fact, even before, although Lu Xixiao changed girlfriends quickly, he never flirted with other girls at the same time.
Not hearing her answer, Lu Xixiao took it as her silent agreement.
He used to hate it when girls got jealous over nothing, but now he was in a surprisingly good mood.
He ruffled Zhou Wan’s hair and said lightly, "From now on, it’s just you."
In the blink of an eye, it was the fourteenth of the first lunar month. Winter break was over, and it was time to return to school.
For the last two days of the break, Zhou Wan didn’t go to the library. Instead, she went to Lu Xixiao’s place and helped him finish most of his winter break homework.
As soon as they returned to school, Zhou Wan and Jiang Yan were called in by the teacher.
"The National Competition in City B is next month. I assume you both prepared well over the break?"
Jiang Yan said that he and Zhou Wan had often studied together at the library during the winter break."That's good, I always knew you two were the ones who gave me the least trouble," the physics teacher said. "Make sure you rest well these days and don't get sick. We'll fly to City B the night before, the school will arrange the tickets, and I'll be going with you."
When they stepped out of the office, the winter sun was shining brightly, warm and comforting.
...
That evening, Lu Xixiao walked her home as usual. On the way, Zhou Wan bought a portion of noodles to take back for her grandmother.
Outside the residential complex, Lu Xixiao held her close and kissed her for a while before letting her go.
Just like every other clingy young couple.
Zhou Wan jogged upstairs and pushed the door open. "Grandma, you haven't had dinner yet, right?"
She went to the kitchen, got a bowl, and poured the noodles into it.
"Have you eaten?" Grandma asked.
"I already ate outside."
"Why did you buy so much? I won't be able to finish it."
"It's fine, just leave whatever you can't finish." Zhou Wan handed her the chopsticks.
Grandma sat at the dining table to eat the noodles, but after just a few bites, she put down her chopsticks and said she couldn't eat anymore.
She had barely touched the noodles—it hardly looked like she'd eaten at all. Zhou Wan paused and asked, "Grandma, don't you feel like eating noodles?"
"No, it's just that I'm very full today." She smiled. "Maybe I ate a bit too much during the New Year period. I've been feeling full lately."
"Then next time, tell me what you'd like to eat, and I'll buy it for you."
"Okay." Grandma patted Zhou Wan's head. "Wanwan, your competition is coming up soon, right?"
"Yes, next month."
"Perfect. I heard our neighbor A-Yang say she's going to the temple next month to pray. I'll go to the Wenchang Bodhisattva and get you an incense pouch for blessings, so you'll do well in your exam."
Zhou Wan smiled, her eyes curving. "There's no need. The journey is so far, and it'll be tiring for you. I've prepared for so long—I'm sure I'll do well."
"Eh—" Grandma drew out the sound, her tone rising in disagreement. "You are you, and the Bodhisattva is the Bodhisattva. This is about having all the favorable conditions aligned."
"Alright then." Zhou Wan humored her. "But take a taxi there, not the bus. Your legs aren't steady, and the bus is too bumpy."
"Grandma knows. You should go back to your studies now."
Zhou Wan hummed in agreement and took her schoolbag back to her bedroom.
Grandma sat alone in the living room, her gaze falling on the bowl of noodles that was almost untouched. After a moment, she picked up another piece with her chopsticks and put it in her mouth. After chewing a few times, a surge of sour fluid rose in her stomach, and she spat it out.
This had been going on for several days now.
Her body felt fine otherwise—no particular discomfort anywhere.
But she couldn't taste anything—sweet, sour, bitter, or spicy—and had no appetite. Every day, she had to force herself to eat, but if she ate even a little too much, she would immediately vomit.
She had heard before that when a person becomes weak to a certain extent, this is how it is before death.
Even the sense of taste disappears.
In the final stages of uremia, many complications can arise. Although dialysis can barely sustain life, the body is already worn down to an empty shell, hollowed out and decaying inside.
No one knows which day, or which complication, will trigger a life-threatening crisis.
That was what Dr. Chen had told her last time.
Grandma hadn't allowed him to tell Zhou Wan. She needed to focus on her studies now.
Sitting alone at the dining table, Grandma silently shed tears.
Not for herself, but for her Wanwan.
On the calendar hanging on the wall in front of her, one day in March was circled with a gel pen—the day of Zhou Wan's exam.Achieving good results could secure admission to a top university.
Less than a month remained.
Her Wanwan, who had endured so many years of hardship, was finally about to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
The following days continued as usual.
Zhou Wan spent most of her time preparing for the Physics Competition. All her other teachers understood the importance of this competition and unanimously agreed that Zhou Wan and Jiang Yan could temporarily set aside their other subjects to focus entirely on the competition preparation.
After school, Zhou Wan sometimes brought food home to eat with Grandma, but Grandma always ate very little—perhaps because of the cold weather.
Other times, she ordered takeout and ate at Lu Xixiao’s place. She would study there while he played on his phone, occasionally being dragged by Zhou Wan to read for a while.
Soon, February came to an end.
March arrived.
“Have you lost weight lately?” Lu Xixiao asked.
Zhou Wan touched her face. “I’m not sure. I haven’t weighed myself.”
“I’ll know if I hold you.”
Lu Xixiao stretched out his long arm, pulled Zhou Wan into his embrace, and wrapped his arms around her waist. He didn’t let go until the girl was blushing furiously, then commented with feigned seriousness, “You have lost weight.”
“...”
“Let’s go out for a good meal today.” Lu Xixiao took her hand. “We need to fatten you up.”
Zhou Wan chuckled. “Alright.”
Lu Xixiao took her to a restaurant whose expensive prices were evident just from its exterior.
Zhou Wan couldn’t help tugging at his sleeve. “Are we eating here?”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t it really expensive?”
Lu Xixiao laughed. “Well, since you’re about to soar to great heights after the exam, I’m just bribing you in advance. You’ll have to support me in the future.”
“Lu Xixiao,” Zhou Wan said softly, “let’s go somewhere else.”
“What, you don’t want to support me?” he teased. “Trying to back out?”
“No...”
Before Zhou Wan could say more, Lu Xixiao pulled her inside and told the attendant nearby, “Table for two.”
“...”
After they were seated, Lu Xixiao ordered, mostly seafood dishes so expensive that just glancing at the prices made one wince.
Zhou Wan decided to stop looking and let him order. After a pause, she said, “If we win first prize in that competition, besides the guaranteed admission, I think there’s also a cash reward.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“If I get it, I’ll treat you to a meal.”
Lu Xixiao smiled lightly. “Deal.”
Just as they were talking, the restaurant door opened, and the attendants chimed in unison, “Welcome!”
The manager greeted warmly, “President Lu, why didn’t you call ahead? We could have prepared for you in advance.”
“No need, I’m just here for a casual dinner,” replied Lu Zhongyue’s voice.
Zhou Wan froze and instinctively glanced at Lu Xixiao.
He merely lifted his eyelids indifferently, showing no emotion.
Zhou Wan turned and saw Lu Zhongyue and Jiang Yan walking in.
Jiang Yan also noticed her. His gaze paused briefly, but he said and did nothing.
The attendant asked where they would like to sit. Jiang Yan replied, “Over there,” pointing to a spot in the opposite direction.
Lu Zhongyue hadn’t seen them.
“Lu Xixiao,” Zhou Wan watched his expression carefully, “should we go to another restaurant?”
“It’s fine.” He shrugged indifferently. “Don’t worry about it.”
The restaurant was quite busy, but in such an environment, everyone was quiet. Apart from low-volume conversations, only the crisp sounds of cutlery against plates could be heard.
Zhou Wan could faintly hear Jiang Yan and Lu Zhongyue’s voices.
Lu Zhongyue was asking him about his studies, occasionally interspersed with the man’s laughter.It was clear that Jiang Yan had left a good impression on him, and Jiang Yan was deliberately trying to please Lu Zhongyue, even though he wasn’t normally so talkative.
Suddenly, Lu Zhongyue’s phone rang. He answered, “Xiangling.”
Zhou Wan’s hand, holding the chopsticks, paused, and her back stiffened.
“Mm, I’m here… with Ayan,” Lu Zhongyue said into the phone. “Why don’t you join us? The food hasn’t been served yet.”
He didn’t ask for Jiang Yan’s opinion. After hanging up, he said to him, “Your aunt is coming over.”
Jiang Yan’s smile faltered for a moment before returning to normal. “Sure, I haven’t met her yet.”
Guo Xiangling was coming.
Zhou Wan felt as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over her, making it hard to even breathe.
She and Jiang Yan had been in the same school since middle school. Though they were in different classes, as the top two students, they had crossed paths often and had known each other for a long time.
Once, during a school event that required parental attendance, Zhou Wan had registered Guo Xiangling’s number. The homeroom teacher had called her, asking her to come.
At that time, Jiang Yan had seen Guo Xiangling.
But so many years had passed since then…
He probably didn’t remember, right?
Zhou Wan’s face turned pale as she tightened her grip on the chopsticks.
Lu Xixiao placed a piece of crab meat in her bowl. “What’s on your mind?”
She snapped out of it and shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Don’t you like it?”
“No, it’s delicious.”
Lu Xixiao stared at her for a moment before calmly looking away. “If you’re full, let’s go.”
There was still plenty of food on the table, and it pained her to leave so much behind, especially given the high price. But Zhou Wan would rather not see Guo Xiangling here.
If Jiang Yan recognized her…
Zhou Wan didn’t dare think further.
So, she put down her chopsticks. “Mm.”
After leaving the restaurant, Lu Xixiao hailed a taxi to take Zhou Wan home.
The ride was silent, neither of them speaking.
She could sense that Lu Xixiao seemed somewhat displeased but didn’t know how to broach the subject.
The longer this matter dragged on, the more it felt like holding fire to paper—one careless move, and it would ignite completely.
Zhou Wan reached out, silently taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
Lu Xixiao looked down at her. It was clear the girl was trying to make amends, and he didn’t reject her gesture. Smiling, he ruffled her hair. “Get some rest early.”
“Mm, good night, Lu Xixiao.”
Watching Zhou Wan enter the building, Lu Xixiao turned and headed home.
Back home, Lu Xixiao leaned back on the sofa, tilting his head wearily to look at the ceiling. He lit a cigarette and exhaled slowly.
He was sharp enough to see through Zhou Wan’s emotions at a glance.
It had been like this since they first met. Lu Xixiao had known early on that she was pretending to be obedient and reserved, that she had deliberately gotten close to him. But at some point, he had stopped dwelling on it.
No matter why she had approached him initially, as long as she was by his side now, it was enough.
Zhou Wan never brought it up, and he never pressed her.
Similarly, Lu Xixiao was well aware that her demeanor earlier had been off.
When Lu Zhongyue first entered, Zhou Wan had only been worried about affecting him, cautiously observing his reactions. But at a certain point, her emotions had shifted abruptly, as if she could no longer handle the situation herself.
When had it started?
Lu Xixiao frowned, trying to recall.
That’s right—
It was when Lu Zhongyue answered that call from Guo Xiangling.
Suddenly, fragments of the past flashed through Lu Xixiao’s mind.That evening, when she encountered Guo Xiangling's car on the road, Zhou Wan was flustered.
Later at the hospital, when Zhou Wan saw Guo Xiangling, her entire body visibly stiffened.
Moreover, he had once seen Zhou Wan and Guo Xiangling talking by the sinks in the restroom.
……
Everything seemed to be connected by an invisible thread.
Lu Xixiao had never doubted Zhou Wan’s feelings for him.
He had been in quite a few relationships and had witnessed different ways girls expressed their affection. Though Zhou Wan’s approach was different from those straightforward ones, her eyes lit up when she looked at him.
She would take him to an amusement park on his birthday and sincerely wish him a happy birthday.
When his acrophobia acted up, she would firmly hold his hand and stand in front of him like a warrior.
Afraid that he might feel lonely, she would accompany him to another city in the middle of the night just to see the snow.
Zhou Wan did like him.
It was just that she never seemed to think they would be together forever.
She had even calmly anticipated that day long ago.
Just as she had said:
"If we ever break up someday."
"Let’s never contact each other again, okay?"
Zhou Wan had a secret.
Lu Xixiao closed his eyes, his brows furrowed tightly. Suppressing his frustration, he slowly let out a breath.
The entire night, Zhou Wan was restless with anxiety.
She didn’t know whether Jiang Yan had recognized Guo Xiangling or not.
But since Jiang Yan hadn’t contacted her, perhaps he hadn’t.
Being constantly on guard like this exhausted her. She had even considered whether she should tell Lu Xixiao everything, apologize, and confess.
But with Lu Xixiao’s pride, if he found out that everything had been nothing but a scheme, he would surely be furious and never speak to her again.
Zhou Wan had once hoped that when everything settled, Lu Xixiao would hate her openly and without reservation.
But now, she couldn’t bear to part with him.
She would take it one step at a time.
Like drinking poison to quench thirst.
Knowing full well it was poison, she kept forcing it down.
The next day at school, when Zhou Wan arrived in the classroom, Jiang Yan was already in his seat. He merely glanced at her and, as usual, said, "Morning."
Zhou Wan breathed a sigh of relief. "Morning."
She thought the matter had been dodged once again, but that evening—
The dismissal bell rang, and students gradually left one after another.
Only the two of them remained in the classroom.
"Zhou Wan."
Jiang Yan turned his head to look at her, his voice low and heavy. "Do you know what you’re doing?"
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