Zhou Wan had a rare night of poor sleep.
She didn't understand what Lu Xixiao's words truly meant.
She had thought that after he told her to get lost last time, their connection would end there. She wouldn't use Lu Xixiao anymore, nor would she let him know about her relationship with Guo Xiangling.
But now, it seemed Lu Xixiao had... cooled off?
Early the next morning, Zhou Wan went to school yawning.
After two morning classes came the long break. Zhou Wan was called to the physics teacher's office. With the national competition approaching, the teacher gave her two sets of competition books—one for her and another for Jiang Yan.
The competition books were thick and heavy, weighing down her arms.
As Zhou Wan carried the books back to the classroom, she passed by Class Seven.
A group of boys gathered by the corridor window, including Jiang Fan, who greeted her.
With many classmates around, Zhou Wan felt the gap between them was too vast—any interaction would draw attention.
She responded with a somewhat restrained smile.
Continuing forward, just as she passed Jiang Fan, she caught sight of him raising his hand and shouting loudly: "A Xiao!"
Zhou Wan's footsteps faltered, her heartbeat quickening. She didn't dare look up.
Step by step, she drew closer.
She saw the tips of Lu Xixiao's shoes directly in front of her.
Zhou Wan moved to the side and took a step forward, but a hand grabbed her arm, pulling her back a step.
Zhou Wan looked up.
Lu Xixiao looked down at her. Surprisingly, he was wearing his school uniform today—the blue and white uniform looked exceptionally good on him, highlighting his youthful and carefree demeanor. He raised an eyebrow and asked calmly, "Didn't see me?"
Zhou Wan whispered, "Mm."
He chuckled lightly. "You think I'm stupid?"
"..."
A chorus of teasing erupted behind them.
Blushing under everyone's gaze, Zhou Wan silently tugged at her sleeve, trying to pull back.
Lu Xixiao released her. "Going there again tonight?"
"Not today. I need to go to the hospital to see the doctor treating my grandma."
"Oh."
Zhou Wan said, "I'll go ahead then."
Lu Xixiao simply stepped aside to let her pass.
When school ended, a light rain was falling again. Zhou Wan took the bus to People's Hospital.
After receiving the report from Dr. Chen, Zhou Wan read it and said, "Recently, Grandma has been feeling unwell much more often than before. But why do these indicators remain almost the same as last time?"
Dr. Chen explained, "Grandma is getting older. Her body's resistance will gradually weaken, so those symptoms will become more pronounced. There's nothing we can do about it—we can only try to alleviate them."
"Can't dialysis help?"
Dr. Chen patted her shoulder gently. "Wanwan, I told you from the start—dialysis isn't a cure. But—"
He paused suddenly.
Zhou Wan asked, "What?"
"Recently, the hospital has a new kidney source. For Grandma's condition, the only cure is a kidney transplant."
After a moment, Dr. Chen continued, "But there are things I need to tell you in advance. Grandma is old—such a major surgery definitely carries risks. Moreover, organ transplant surgery is very expensive. These are things you need to carefully consider and discuss."
"How much money is needed?"
"At least 300,000 yuan."
Zhou Wan tightened her grip on her backpack strap.
Such a large sum was, of course, beyond Zhou Wan's means.
But she couldn't bear to watch her grandmother grow thinner each day, until the last drop of candle wax burned out.Zhou Wan would never give up as long as there was any possibility of recovery.
Grandma was the closest person to her.
In fact, she was the only close person she had left.
She couldn’t lose Grandma.
She had already lost too much—Grandma was all she had left.
If Grandma were gone too, she would truly have nothing.
“As for the surgery costs…” Zhou Wan said softly but firmly, “I’ll figure something out. Please let me know if a suitable kidney becomes available.”
Dr. Chen asked, “Are you sure about this? Do you need more time to think it over?”
“Yes. In a few days, I’ll bring Grandma in for another full check-up to see if her physical condition is suitable for a transplant.”
“Alright.”
Dr. Chen looked at the girl before him—frail in stature, yet full of resilience. After a moment, he added, “This amount of money is no small sum. There are some risky loan options out there lately—make sure you don’t go down the wrong path.”
Zhou Wan smiled faintly. “Thank you, Dr. Chen. I won’t. I… I’ll try calling my mother first.”
Hearing this, the nurse standing nearby seemed to change her expression, as if about to say something to dissuade her, but when she caught Dr. Chen’s glance, she closed her mouth again.
Zhou Wan went out into the hallway and dialed Guo Xiangling’s number.
“Wanwan,” Guo Xiangling’s tone was affectionate. “What is it, dear?”
Leaning against the wall, Zhou Wan lowered her eyelids and let out a soft sigh. “Grandma’s illness… she might need surgery later. The doctor said—”
Before she could finish, Guo Xiangling cut her off. “Aren’t we already spending hundreds, even thousands, on dialysis every month? Why does she need surgery now? Did your grandmother send you to ask me for money?”
Zhou Wan frowned, uncomfortable with the implication. “Of course not.”
“Fine,” Guo Xiangling relented. “How much?”
“Three hundred thousand.”
“Three hundred thousand!?” Guo Xiangling shrieked. “Is that doctor trying to scam you!?”
Before Zhou Wan could respond, Guo Xiangling switched to a persuasive tone. “Wanwan, you’ll understand someday how hard it is to earn money. Your grandmother is so old—forget whether she can even withstand such a surgery. To put it bluntly, even if she recovers, how many more years can she live? Spending hundreds of thousands to buy four or five, maybe six or seven years of life—it’s not worth it.”
Not worth it.
In Guo Xiangling’s eyes, everything had a price tag and could be measured in money.
Spending three hundred thousand to buy Grandma a few more years—not worth it.
Trading her own future wealth and comfort for her daughter to have a less difficult upbringing—also not worth it.
Zhou Wan lowered her eyes, not wanting to argue. “I’m not asking for your money. I just want to use the money Dad saved to pay for Grandma’s treatment.”
“Your father’s savings?” Guo Xiangling let out a scornful laugh. “Wanwan, you overestimate your father. He was just a teacher—how much could he have saved?”
In the past, Guo Xiangling and Zhou Jun had often argued.
Some wealthy families at the school, doting on their children, would give teachers red envelopes during holidays as a form of “appreciation fee.”
Zhou Jun always returned them exactly as they were, earning himself countless scoldings from Guo Xiangling, who accused him of being pretentiously noble yet genuinely poor.
Though Zhou Jun couldn’t accept her way of thinking, he would usually just smile and let it pass.Guo Xiangling said, "Although your food, clothing, and expenses couldn't be called the best when you were young, they were the best we could afford within our means, costing quite a lot. Later, your father's funeral, your grandmother's illness, and all the various expenses over the years—if you add them up, you’ll see we can’t even come up with 30,000, let alone 300,000."
...
Zhou Wan didn’t get the money.
She leaned against the hospital’s stark white wall, sniffled, and headed back to Dr. Chen’s office.
Just as she reached the door, she heard voices inside and suddenly paused in her tracks.
"Why didn’t you let me persuade Wanwan earlier?" It was the nurse’s voice. "You know perfectly well her mother would never give that much money."
Dr. Chen replied, "If she doesn’t go through this herself, no amount of persuasion would help."
"But isn’t it just making her sad for nothing?" The nurse sighed. "Back when Zhou Jun treated her so well, didn’t Guo Xiangling immediately agree to stop treatment as soon as his tumor was diagnosed?"
"With so many births, aging, illnesses, and deaths in the hospital every day, how often have you seen such things?"
"I just can’t stand it! Her husband was such a good man, and her daughter is so sensible—how could she be so heartless?"
Immediately agreed to stop treatment.
Immediately agreed to stop treatment.
Immediately agreed to stop treatment.
...
These words collided repeatedly in Zhou Wan’s mind.
She turned the doorknob.
The nurse saw her, froze for a moment, and then, noticing her bloodshot eyes, became flustered. "Wanwan..."
"So, back then, my father could have survived," Zhou Wan said, enunciating each word deliberately.
Dr. Chen quickly walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Wanwan, listen to me. Your father was already in the late stages by then, the cancer cells had spread—it was too late."
"Then at the very least, he could have lived a little longer," Zhou Wan’s eyes were so red they seemed about to bleed. "Right?"
This time, even Dr. Chen had nothing to say.
Zhou Wan’s chest heaved violently as she struggled to suppress her sobs. "She killed my father."
"Wanwan, you were still young back then. Your father didn’t want me to tell you the specifics of his condition. He himself had decided to stop treatment."
Dr. Chen’s voice was gentle, much like how her father used to speak to her—
"He said his Wanwan was a very clever child, destined for great achievements in the future, with a broad horizon and profound insights. Wanwan would travel to all corners of the world for him, living a full life on his behalf."
"So, he didn’t want to linger on, partly because he didn’t want you to see him worn down by chemotherapy, and partly to save some money so Wanwan would have the means to buy a ticket when moving forward."
"He wanted Wanwan to be a carefree child, always having the courage to stride forward and the resilience to start over."
So Wanwan would have money to buy a ticket when moving forward.
That was Zhou Jun’s wish.
But for the present Zhou Wan, it was a luxury she had never even dared to imagine.
She was a young eaglet, capable of flying forward, but forever tethered by a rope that would slowly pull her back whenever she flew too far.
Pulling so hard it hurt, stripping her feathers, leaving her bruised and bloodied.
The streetlamp in the alley was dim, with tangled electrical wires crisscrossing overhead, dark and oppressive as if the entire night sky were about to collapse.
She understood her father’s thoughts.
And she could comprehend his decision to give up treatment.But the truth had come too suddenly, leaving her unable to bear it.
Above all, what she found most unforgivable was Guo Xiangling.
She couldn’t imagine how her father must have felt—after deciding to give up treatment, only to hear that his wife of so many years, whom he had cherished and protected, immediately agreed without hesitation.
At the very least, there must have been a trace of sorrow and grievance.
And Zhou Wan understood one thing even more clearly.
Guo Xiangling hadn’t done this out of the slightest consideration for her or their family—it was entirely for her own sake.
So, in essence, she had killed her father.
Zhou Wan’s heart felt as though it were being squeezed, dripping with damp, heavy blood.
She was an extremely rational person, but at that moment, some emotion seemed to spiral out of control, steadily heading toward a darker, more devastating direction.
Never before had she hated Guo Xiangling as intensely as she did now.
She even entertained a dark, venomous thought—
Why hadn’t Guo Xiangling been the one to die back then?
The moment the thought surfaced, Zhou Wan herself was startled.
But that was all. The thought didn’t fade; she merely mocked herself inwardly, realizing that she was, after all, more like Guo Xiangling. If it had been her father, he would never have entertained such a notion.
She wanted Guo Xiangling to lose everything.
She wanted Guo Xiangling to pay the price.
She wanted Guo Xiangling to suffer unbearably.
She was even willing to sacrifice her own future, if only to reclaim a shred of dignity for her father.
Lost in these thoughts, she walked forward with her head lowered and suddenly bumped into someone’s chest.
Looking up, she met Lu Xixiao’s eyes—amused yet habitually indifferent.
He reached out, his fingertips lightly brushing her face. “You’ve been standing here for a while now. Still pretending not to see me?”
For some reason, an overwhelming sense of grievance surged in Zhou Wan’s heart and nostrils. Her eyes quickly welled up, her breathing grew ragged and fragile, and a tear fell to the ground.
Embarrassed, she tried to lower her head, but in the next moment, Lu Xixiao gripped her chin and lifted it.
He didn’t seem flustered by her sudden tears, merely raising an eyebrow as he asked calmly, “What’s wrong? Who upset you?”
She didn’t speak—she couldn’t. Her throat felt blocked, allowing only a few choked, tearful sounds to escape as more tears fell, dampening his fingertips.
Lu Xixiao leaned closer, his fingers tracing her eyelashes and brushing away her tears.
He sighed softly and whispered, “What are you afraid of? I’ll make things right for you.”
At that, Zhou Wan could no longer hold back.
With her chin still in Lu Xixiao’s grasp, she could only lift her head, tears falling in large, unrestrained drops, soaking her entire face. Her sobs escaped uncontrollably, and she broke into open weeping.
Lu Xixiao had seen many girls cry, but never one like Zhou Wan.
She was reserved and quiet, yet now she was drowning in overwhelming bitterness.
Her crying was almost a breakdown—self-abandoned, with no room for pretense.
Finally, he reached out, wrapped an arm around the back of her neck, and covered her tear-filled eyes, pulling the young girl into his embrace.
“Zhou Wan,” his voice was deep and magnetic, close to her ear, “how about I take you out to have some fun?”
Zhou Wan’s tears quickly escaped through his fingers, dampening his clothes.
After a long while, she slowly, hesitantly, raised her arms and wrapped them around Lu Xixiao’s waist.
She closed her eyes, tightened her embrace, and absorbed the warmth and scent that surrounded him.
Her voice broken, she struggled to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
She only repeated, “I’m sorry, Lu Xixiao.”
Even her breath and voice were shattered.Lu Xixiao didn't understand what she was apologizing for, but seeing her like this, he couldn't be bothered to dwell on it. He simply smiled and said, "You're right to feel sorry. You'll have to wash this outfit clean for me."
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