"You don't like red dates?"
This had nothing to do with red dates. Fei Ni took another sip of the milk powder she was holding with both hands, thought for a moment, and then asked, "Which of your previous girlfriends liked eating red dates?"
Fei Ni asked this deliberately. If she directly asked Fang Muyang how many girlfriends he'd had before, he would certainly deny it. But if she asked "Which of your previous girlfriends liked eating red dates?" it would require him to think for a moment. If he didn't react quickly enough, he might accidentally tell the truth.
Perhaps he wouldn't even need to speak - if he paused to think, it would indicate he'd had more than one girlfriend.
Fang Muyang immediately understood Fei Ni's implication.
"If you're willing to call our interactions before marriage as dating, then you're the only girlfriend I've ever had in my life. If you don't consider that dating, then I've never had a girlfriend in my entire life."
"What about Ling Yi then?" The words spilled out before she could stop them, confirming her jealous reputation.
"Ling Yi could be considered my friend, and she's female, but she has absolutely nothing to do with being a girlfriend." If Fei Ni hadn't mentioned it, Fang Muyang would never have considered Ling Yi as an issue between him and Fei Ni.
"Why did you give up your university spot to her?"
Fang Muyang laughed: "That's because her abilities weren't sufficient for her to survive in the countryside. My abilities are naturally stronger than hers - you should know that from experience."
Fei Ni was different today, lacking the energy and stamina for roundabout conversations. Her questions were very direct, requiring no circumvention. "There must have been more than just her who couldn't handle it. Why did you specifically give it to her? If I had been sent down and said I couldn't survive in the countryside, would you have given it to me then?"
"If it were you, I truly wouldn't have been willing to give it up."
Fei Ni sneered: "How honest of you." She had fully expected him to at least lie to placate her, never imagining he would say such a thing.
"If you were at the same educated youth point as me, I would want to be with you every day. Not only would I be unwilling to leave myself, I'd be unwilling to let you go either. If you really wanted to attend university, it's not that I couldn't let you go, but I'd definitely have to be intimate with you a few times before letting you leave, so you'd keep thinking of me afterwards. And when I say intimate, I don't mean the kind where you get a marriage certificate..."
"Shameless!" Fei Ni blushed with embarrassment. Fortunately, the curtains were drawn so Fang Muyang couldn't see.
Fang Muyang didn't deny it: "So you're only realizing this now."
Fei Ni stopped talking to him, only holding her cup to drink milk, occasionally stirring the glass with a spoon.
After a while, she took the initiative to say to Fang Muyang: "According to what you're saying, since she wasn't your girlfriend and you still gave up your university spot for her, she should be even more grateful. But when something happened to you, she didn't come to take care of you. Even so, you still consider her a friend?" What Ling Yi did was even worse than what she said - it wasn't just that she didn't come to take care of him, she wouldn't even visit him more than once. So afraid of taking responsibility, yet she didn't think about avoiding suspicion when accepting favors back then.
Fei Ni's standards were somewhat different from other people's. She felt that if Fang Muyang had merely been Ling Yi's boyfriend without giving her any special favors, and Ling Yi didn't visit him after his accident, it could only be said that Ling Yi was emotionally detached. But that would be her private matter, unrelated to outsiders, and not Fei Ni's place to comment. However, since Fang Muyang wasn't even Ling Yi's boyfriend and still gave his university spot to her, and she couldn't even be bothered to visit him a few more times - that was ingratitude, worthy of criticism."I'm actually quite grateful to her for that. If she had come to take care of me back then, how could I possibly be worthy of you now? Even my decision not to attend university—when I think about it now—was all to meet you." Fang Muyang had no expectations of Ling Yi, so he felt no disappointment. Had he ever wanted anything from her, he wouldn't have given up his university spot for her, since no benefit could outweigh the advantage of attending university himself. They were friends before, and she never did anything to let him down, so there was no need to cut ties.
"You're just teasing me, pinning everything on me. So now your not going to college is my fault?"
"My fault. How do you want me to make it up to you?" Fang Muyang knew she was feeling unwell and might be overthinking things, so he didn't argue. What surprised him was Fei Ni's vivid imagination—jumping from red dates to him having a girlfriend.
"Hurry up and eat before it gets cold."
After Fei Ni finished her milk powder, Fang Muyang took her cup. "What would you like to eat? I'll make it for you."
Fei Ni laughed inwardly. The only thing at home was dried noodles, and the most Fang Muyang could probably manage was boiling them. Having no appetite, she said directly, "I don't want anything. Just save me some porridge."
A while later, Fei Ni caught the scent of eggs—something boiled eggs wouldn't smell like.
"I steamed an egg custard for you. Do you want to come down and eat, or should I bring it over?"
Fei Ni thought to herself, Didn't I just ask you to save some porridge? but aloud she said, "I'll come down and eat with you."
They didn't have a cushion, and worried Fei Ni might catch a chill, Fang Muyang pushed the sewing machine—their makeshift dining table—right up to the bed, letting Fei Ni sit on his bed to eat.
She took a spoonful and was surprised at how well Fang Muyang had steamed it—tender and smooth, unlike the overcooked versions she sometimes made.
"How's my egg custard?"
"Very good, better than mine."
"Just one small flaw."
"What?"
"Too bad we don't have any vinegar at home. A little would've been perfect. Don't you love vinegar? I always forget to buy it. I'll definitely get some aged vinegar tomorrow."
Fei Ni knew he was teasing her and retorted, "Who loves vinegar?"
"I do. Why do I always forget to buy it?"
Fei Ni scooped a spoonful of egg custard and brought it to Fang Muyang's mouth. "Even eating can't shut you up."
Not wanting to hear him talk, she quickly fed him several more spoonfuls.
Only when she started eating herself did she realize she should have used his spoon to feed him.
Since Fei Ni didn't offer him more, he didn't eat any.
Fei Ni said, "I can't finish this. Have a little more."
"I don't like it plain. I prefer it with vinegar. Unless you say something vinegary for me, then I might manage to eat it."
"Eat it or not!" Despite her words, she couldn't help scooping more into his bowl, adding, "If the duvet cover is dry, put it on the duvet soon, or it'll get dirty in no time."
Fang Muyang washed clothes quickly—soap them once in water, rinse twice, and hang them up. He didn't know how to wash properly but washed frequently. Clothes that could last three to five years would barely make it a year with his method, thanks only to durable fabric. Even bedsheets couldn't withstand his rough treatment. Fei Ni was exasperated—this man not only wore out fabric with his looks but wasted it in every way.After finishing the meal, Fang Muyang said to Fei Ni, "Don't sleep barefoot. Put on the new socks I bought you before going to bed."
Seeing the new shoes, socks, and overcoat Fang Muyang had bought her, Fei Ni asked with a pang of concern, "Did you spend all your money?"
"There's still some left."
He certainly knew how to pick things—just one look told her they must have cost a considerable amount. She wanted to scold him for his extravagance, but then she thought, with the limited money he had, he still spent it on her. If she made him unhappy after he'd spent the money, it would be a loss for both of them. Yet, he really was terrible at budgeting. It was he, not she, who lacked winter clothes. With money in hand, why didn't he buy something for himself first? If she praised his purchases today, Fang Muyang might take it as encouragement and continue spending recklessly on her in the future, which would be troublesome.
Her mind tangled in conflict, she ultimately decided to follow her heart and tell him she liked everything he had bought. As for advising him to be more careful with money, she could bring that up tomorrow.
Wearing the woolen socks Fang Muyang had bought her and hugging the hot water bottle he had given her, she thought to herself that once she felt better the next day, she must quickly finish knitting his long underwear. The weather was getting colder, and she was still short of some yarn for his sweater. Maybe she could unravel one of her old scarves—she had two, after all. Since he was so bad with money, mere advice probably wouldn't help. The only solution was to have him hand over part of his earnings to her in the future.
The next evening, Fang Muyang used the last egg in the house to make steamed egg custard for her.
He still hadn’t bought any vinegar.
With the monthly egg ration so limited, Fei Ni felt a little guilty—she had eaten all the eggs for the month. She scooped a spoonful into Fang Muyang’s bowl and was about to add a second when he stopped her with a laugh. "I didn’t realize you cared for me so much—over a single egg…"
Fang Muyang had expected Fei Ni to stop.
But Fei Ni didn’t deny it. Instead, she gave him another spoonful and said, "Let’s split it half and half. Didn’t you contribute when it was bought?"
Fei Ni was feeling much better today, and her mind was clearer too. She chose her words carefully, unlike yesterday when she had vented all sorts of grievances.
After eating, she turned on the radio and sat on Fang Muyang’s bed listening to music while knitting the unfinished project. Fang Muyang was sketching at the sewing machine. They had agreed to build the low cabinet on Sunday.
Suddenly, the radio went silent. Fei Ni’s heart skipped a beat. She tuned to another station, one that could be played aloud, removed the earphones, and tested it. The radio itself was fine, but when she put the earphones back on, there was no sound again. Without the earphones, she couldn’t listen privately, so she turned off the radio and continued knitting.
Fang Muyang was more focused than usual while drawing. It wasn’t until he finished the sketch that he turned around, intending to share the earphones with Fei Ni, only to find she had set them aside.
"Why aren’t you listening anymore?"
"The earphones are broken."
"Let me see." Fang Muyang couldn’t fix them right away. He said to Fei Ni, "Turn the volume down a little. The neighbors won’t hear."
"Better not. There’s no need to take that risk."
Fang Muyang glanced around and asked, "Do you have an extra quilt?"
"There’s one in the trunk."
"Why?"
"Quilts can muffle some sound."
Fei Ni opened the trunk and took out the quilt she used in winter, which was thicker than the current one.
Fang Muyang contributed his own quilt as well. With the help of a rope, the two quilts were draped around the bed, enclosing it from below."All set," Fang Muyang told her. "It's not perfect, but if you turn the volume down now, the neighbors definitely won't hear. I'll check tomorrow if there are any compatible headphones available."
"This feels like we're doing something sneaky." She could have waited until tomorrow to buy headphones, but because she had only started listening two days ago and hadn't heard much, she felt an itch in her heart when the time came—not listening left her feeling empty.
Fei Ni still wasn't entirely reassured. "What if someone knocks and comes in later and sees this?" The possibility wasn't very high, and even if someone knocked for her, she could choose not to let them in, though it would be impolite.
"Isn't the reason obvious? Just say the walls aren't soundproof, and anything a couple does can be heard. You're embarrassed to be overheard, so you set this up."
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