"I thought you'd move out after getting married."
"Our home has enough space for us to live. If I compete with others for housing allocation under these circumstances, what would people think of me? Besides, living with my parents allows us to look after each other. Managing a small household isn’t easy. If you live with my parents, with the help of a housekeeper, it’ll be much more convenient for you."
Fei Ni realized she had misunderstood Ye Feng—their interests were not aligned.
Living at home after marriage was entirely beneficial for him. An allocated apartment would naturally be inferior to his current home. By staying with his family, he wouldn’t have to worry about buying rice, flour, groceries, cooking, laundry, or replacing the gas tank. Aside from work, all he needed to do at home was enjoy being served. Since he reaped the benefits of living at home, of course he would seek a daughter-in-law who satisfied his parents.
As for her, she was disliked yet had to shamelessly move into someone else’s home. In the future, if she faced direct contempt, she wouldn’t even have the right to talk back. After all, she was living in their house.
Seeing Fei Ni’s silence, Ye Feng comforted her, "Staying at home is just a temporary arrangement. We’ll have our own place sooner or later. Once I get promoted, the allocated housing will be better than what we have now."
"How many years do you plan for this 'temporary arrangement'?"
Ye Feng had only said this to console her and had no concrete plans. Hearing her question, he avoided a direct answer and said, "By then, you might not even want to part with my mom."
"I respect your bond with your parents, but I will never live with them." How could she demand respect while living in their house and enjoying their privileges?
Ye Feng hadn’t expected Fei Ni to be so resolute. Knowing he couldn’t persuade her today, he changed the subject: "Don’t worry too much about your brother’s job transfer back to the city. I have a friend at the Labor Bureau who might be able to help."
"Thank you." He had chosen this exact moment to bring it up—his intentions were clear, even if unspoken. Fei Ni’s thanks lacked warmth. She knew that accepting Ye Feng’s favor would mean compromising in other ways.
"No need to be so formal. We’ll be family soon."
Fei Ni forced a smile. "Ye Feng, let’s end things here."
Her words caught Ye Feng off guard. He froze for a moment before composing his expression, interpreting her statement as a fit of pique.
"Let’s discuss this another time. You should eat first." Ye Feng ladled a spoonful of egg drop soup for her. "Come to my house someday and try Auntie Chen’s soup. I promise nothing unpleasant will happen again."
The chefs at these state-run restaurants weren’t the most skilled—they were the most ideologically devoted. Their goal was to fill customers’ stomachs, not to delight their palates. In terms of color, aroma, and taste, the food here was far inferior to what his family’s housekeeper prepared. If not for spending more time with Fei Ni, he would never have come here.
"Why aren’t you eating?"
"I already ate this afternoon at the radio factory." The director had specially treated him to a private meal.
Fei Ni took out money and food coupons from her army-green satchel to cover her share of the meal. The restaurant required prepayment, which Ye Feng had already handled.
She placed the money and coupons beside his hand. "Since you’re not eating, I should pay." With that, Fei Ni fell silent, lowering her head to eat alone. She chewed quietly, making no sound.Ye Feng pushed the money back again. "By reason and by right, I should pay."
After swallowing the food in her mouth, Fei Ni uttered two words: "Thank you."
She thought Ye Feng did like her—he would treat her well as long as it didn’t affect his interests. She probably wouldn’t find anyone better.
This realization disappointed her.
What disappointed her even more was that the kind of house she lived in would depend on her future husband. Her current job rank meant she wasn’t eligible for housing allocation. Even if Ye Feng really moved out for her, they would live in a unit assigned by his workplace. Whether she could live in a better house in the future depended on whether Ye Feng got promoted, and to what level. Even when her family of five lived in a house of just over ten square meters, she had never been disappointed—she had believed she could get a house on her own in the future. Back then, she was very optimistic about what lay ahead.
Fei Ni had no appetite for the dishes and kept chewing the plain rice in her bowl.
Ye Feng didn’t leave but watched her, occasionally serving her a bite of food.
"There might be some misunderstanding between you and my mother. If you spend more time with her, you’ll find she’s not what you think."
Fei Ni still smiled. "I have no misunderstanding about her. If I were her, I would also hope that the person sharing my roof met my preferences. If that person didn’t live up to my expectations, my manners might not be much better than hers. She did nothing wrong—the mistake is mine. Being with you was a mistake. Today, that mistake should end."
"Fei Ni, don’t rush to conclusions. Try spending some time with her first before deciding."
"What if we can’t get along? What will you do then?"
"It’s meaningless to assume things that haven’t happened."
"This isn’t an assumption—it’s something that will definitely happen later, likely every day. Believe me, if you marry me and I move into your home, sooner or later you’ll blame me for not being understanding enough, for not respecting your elders…"
"Fei Ni, you’re too pessimistic. You’re a considerate girl, and I believe none of that will happen."
Fei Ni smiled bitterly. He had already labeled her as "considerate." If conflicts arose later, it would be because she wasn’t considerate enough.
"You’ve misunderstood me. I’ve never been considerate. Your mother realized that sooner than you did." Fei Ni lowered her head to sip the soup from her bowl, trying to compose herself. When she looked up, she wore a smile again. "If I lived as comfortably at home as you do, I wouldn’t want to move out either. You should find a girl your parents both like—that would make your life easier. If you stay with me, neither of us will end up happy."
"Fei Ni, why won’t you give it a try? If it doesn’t work out, we can consider other solutions."
"Don’t consider it. I know your thoughts won’t change—you only want me to change. Your mother doesn’t like me, and I don’t like her. From the moment I first met her, I knew this would never change."
Ye Feng, with his good looks, family background, and job, had no shortage of girls and their parents showing interest in him. Fei Ni’s repeated refusals displeased him. He had thought she was a considerate girl, but now she showed no understanding of his difficulties.Suppressing his displeasure, he spoke to Fei Ni as rationally as possible: "Even if you were with someone else, you might face the same issues. When problems arise, you don’t run away—you solve them."
Fei Ni immediately grasped the subtext of Ye Feng’s words. For a girl like her, with an ordinary family background and job, being treated coldly by the man’s family was not uncommon.
Words blurted out in the heat of the moment were the most sincere—he, too, believed she was reaching above her station.
"Then I’ll have to try with someone else to find out."
When she returned home, Old Fei asked his daughter, "Why didn’t you invite Ye Feng in for a while?" He assumed, as usual, that Ye Feng had accompanied Fei Ni home.
Fei Ni didn’t answer and went straight into the inner room. Without turning on the light, she lay on the bed, burying her face in the bedsheet, the glow from outside the curtain seeping in. Before, she would never have touched the bed before washing up.
The curtain couldn’t block any sound. From inside, she heard her parents discussing her. They believed her marriage to Ye Feng was inevitable and were already considering the dowry.
"Ye’s family is so well-off—we can’t let our child lose face. I’ve made a list; take a look."
Curtains, tablecloths, quilts, bedsheets, bed covers, pillow towels, thermos bottles, ice bottles, white enamel basins… The groom’s family would handle the major items, but these smaller ones combined would still require considerable effort. The dowry would be a significant expense, and more importantly, some items required ration coupons they didn’t have.
"Maybe we should skip the ice bottle. We don’t have the coupons."
"I saw Old Zhang’s family included one when their daughter married. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event for our girl—don’t be stingy. Don’t you have a classmate working at the thermos factory? Try to pull some strings and get the items."
Fei Ni covered her face with her hands, but it didn’t take long for her to regain her composure. She pulled the light cord, took a mirror from the bedside drawer, checked her reflection, smoothed her hair, and left the room.
In the outer room, she announced to her parents, "Ye Feng and I are completely over, but I will definitely get married this year."
"What happened? Weren’t things fine yesterday? Did he mistreat you?"
"No. I just don’t think he’s right for me."
"Then who do you think is right for you?"
Old Fei was about to press further when his wife pinched him.
"Ni, you can’t dismiss someone entirely over a minor flaw. Ye Feng’s conditions are quite good, and I think he treats you well…"
"My decision is final."
Only after Fei Ni had taken the white enamel basin and left did Old Fei whisper to his wife, "What’s going on? Why is she suddenly dissatisfied with Ye Feng? Could Xiao Fang be causing trouble?"
"Does she know who gave her the radio? Did you tell her?"
"No, I didn’t."
Fei Ni stood outside the door, waiting for the man taking a cold shower in the water room to leave. Ye Feng’s voice echoed in her ears again: "The apartment I’ve been assigned won’t be much better than your family’s home. We might even have to use public baths. I don’t think you’d want to continue living like that."
Even his invitation for her to stay with his parents was meant to improve her living conditions.
Her refusal was her own ingratitude.
And she truly was ungrateful—she had told Ye Feng not to worry, that she would have her own place.
Her factory was about to allocate housing, news that had spurred many indifferent couples in the factory to hastily file marriage reports. Some even resorted to bribes to secure their marriage introduction letters on time. Logically, given her position, she wouldn’t be eligible for housing allocation.But she remembered the staff at the Office of Educated Youth telling her that as long as she married Fang Muyang, she would qualify for the factory's housing allocation.
The apartment assigned to her by the factory would remain hers even if she divorced Fang Muyang in the future.
Fang Muyang wouldn't gain nothing from marrying her either—she could share half the apartment with him, so he wouldn't have to keep living in the hospital.
The room was stifling. At three in the morning, Fei Ni woke up again, likely from the heat. She slipped out of bed, shuffled into her slippers, and quietly made her way to the washroom. She pulled the light cord, turned on the tap, closed her eyes, and let the cold water stream over her face, dripping through her fingers into the sink. When she looked up, she could see stars through the narrow window.
At daybreak, Fei Ni cycled to the hospital, but Fang Muyang wasn't in his ward again. She hastily left a note, asking him to meet her at the park entrance at six that evening—she wanted to treat him to an open-air movie.
By half past six, Fang Muyang still hadn't shown up. The park admission plus movie ticket cost twenty cents. After paying, Fei Ni entered the park where three different spots were simultaneously screening films—all foreign classics that had long since finished their runs in regular cinemas. She found a spot at the edge, took a newspaper from her bag, and spread it on the ground to sit on. It was a Soviet film, and the protagonist was playing the guitar. Blended with the cicadas' chirping and the rustle of leaves in the wind outside the screening area, Fei Ni lifted her head to gaze at the sky. The stars were brilliant.
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