Love Story in the 1970s

Mu Jing first met Zhai Hua on a train.

She was taking the train to visit her younger brother who was still in the hospital. Fei Ni had called her school to inform her that her brother had woken up. She had bought her train ticket in a hurry and only managed to get a standing ticket. She watched as others either squeezed onto the train or were pushed aboard by their families, while she couldn't even hold her ground—instead, the surging crowd pushed her back half a meter. She realized that boarding the train in an orderly queue was impossible, so she joined the crowd trying to force their way in. But she had no experience at all and couldn't squeeze in no matter how hard she tried.

The train was about to depart. The men in front of her were either pushing their way onto the train or shoving their family members aboard. She was all alone, and in terms of strength, she was no match for them. She had only taken three days off, and her brother was still lying in the hospital. No matter what, she had to board this train. At that thought, she cast aside her reserve and desperately squeezed through the gap between two men to create a space for herself. If the train hadn't been so crowded, or if there had even been empty seats, many men would have gladly done her the favor of letting a young, pretty, and seemingly delicate girl board first, showcasing their benevolent side. But at times like this, a young and delicate woman became their first choice to push aside. Other men had a physical advantage and weren't so easy to shove off, and feisty older women were usually not to be trifled with either. So, they had no choice but to collectively push the weaker ones aside. When a young girl desperately tried to squeeze in, some might even think, "A young girl squeezing between two men, with her body pressed against theirs—how utterly improper!"

To some, Mu Jing's behavior at that moment seemed highly improper. But compared to her goal, what did propriety matter? She was on the verge of success when someone pulled her down. "Little sister, come down and sit for a while." The person pulling her was a local troublemaker. Some people who hadn't been assigned jobs and didn't want to go to the countryside to work had simply "stayed" at home. Most of these individuals were law-abiding ordinary folks, but a small minority roamed society, finding pleasure in striking up conversations with girls. Seeing Mu Jing so unreservedly squeezing among men, they thought they had found a kindred spirit and deliberately pulled her down to chat her up. Some of them were under twenty, and since Mu Jing couldn't quite tell their ages, they called her "little sister."Mu Jing only had one older brother, who was so dedicated to the nation's cause that he couldn't even visit their younger brother lying in the hospital. How could these petty thugs dare impersonate him? And now, because of these hooligans, she couldn't visit her younger brother who was hospitalized after saving someone. Seething with pent-up fury, she spat and began cursing loudly.

She had never uttered a single swear word in her life—not when she was bullied over her parents' background, not when her first love broke up with her, not even when her brother lay hospitalized and she couldn't care for him. Now, she let it all out. Some curses were learned from the most foul-mouthed people in her current city, so vicious that even the hooligans trying to pull her away found them shocking. Others were in her hometown dialect; though those dragging her down didn't understand the words, they sensed the venom. They even forgot to curse back, stunned by the ferocity of a girl with such delicate features.

As she cursed, she fought desperately to push forward. Her rage terrified not only the thugs but also others scrambling onto the train, who unconsciously made space for her. Thus, Mu Jing boarded.

Without a seat, she stood squeezed between rows, her earlier outburst so startling that everyone in the carriage stole curious glances. How could this now-composed girl spew such vulgarities even local ruffians would use? When Mu Jing met their eyes, they quickly looked away, fearing she might unleash another tirade.

Under these evasive gazes, her shame slowly resurfaced. She wondered how she had become that person moments ago. Unable to hold back, her eyes reddened. She tilted her head up, fighting tears. She knew she must have looked terrible, but if she'd cared about appearances, she wouldn't have boarded. She had to get on that train.

Boarding was hard, but standing was no easier. The car was packed with standing passengers, leaving her no room to plant her feet. The struggle to board had drained her, and having skipped breakfast, she relied on sheer will to remain upright.

Gradually, that will faded, and her consciousness blurred. When she awoke, she was lying in a sleeper compartment.

The first thing she saw was a tall, slender, and handsome man—her first encounter with Zhai Hua. Her original carriage had been crammed with people, saturated with odors: greasy hair, sour sweat, and engine oil stains like the ones on her own clothes from pushing through the crowd. The mix was suffocating. Yet this man maintained his composure and the scent of disinfectant on his clothes. Mu Jing guessed he was a doctor, likely in a hurry—he'd removed his white coat but not the smell.

She didn't know if he'd witnessed her undignified cursing through his glasses, but he must have smelled the oil and other odors on her. Embarrassed, she rose from the bunk. He told her to rest longer—the bed was his.Only then did the man inform her that she had fainted earlier, but was now fine. However, to be safe, she should still replenish some sugar. His tone was very much like a doctor's.

He told Mu Jing his surname was Zhai, so she addressed him as Doctor Zhai. Her voice was a bit hoarse from all the shouting she had done earlier.

Mu Jing thought that once she got off the train, she would never see this Doctor Zhai again, and since he had likely witnessed her hysterical outburst, acting reserved now might make him think she was mentally unstable. So she unceremoniously devoured Doctor Zhai's compressed biscuits, washing them down with the sugar water he had prepared. Only after eating would she have the strength to stand for over ten more hours, during which she could only alternate between standing on her toes or her heels—a true test of her endurance.

While gulping the sugar water, she accidentally choked. Doctor Zhai told her not to rush, as there was still plenty of sugar—he had gotten several spoonfuls from the train conductor.

Mu Jing said, "That's enough, no need for more." After finishing the biscuits, she took out money and food stamps from her bag to give to Doctor Zhai.

Doctor Zhai refused the money and food stamps she offered, but Mu Jing insisted—she couldn't accept his help without compensation. During their back-and-forth, their fingers brushed against each other. His hands were indeed those of a doctor—slender, pale, and faintly carrying the scent of disinfectant. While handing over the money, Mu Jing also revealed her fierce side: she grabbed Doctor Zhai's hand, stuffed the money and food stamps into it, and without giving him a chance to react, picked up her bag to return to her original carriage.

As she grabbed her bag, Mu Jing noticed the zipper had burst open. Inside was a Western oil painting album she had gone through great trouble to obtain for her younger brother. Fei Ni had said her brother had woken up but his memory hadn't returned, and asked her to bring something that might trigger his recollections. She had wrapped the album in a cover labeled "Advanced Mathematics." The Western art book contained many elements that didn't align with current social norms. If this Zhai fellow had opened the cover and discovered its true contents, what if he reported her? Truly conservative people might consider her an indecent woman, even labeling her a female delinquent. As for actual ruffians or so-called cultured scoundrels, they might assume she was promiscuous and easy to pursue. This thought immediately tightened her initially relaxed mood.

"I saw your bag when the zipper was already open."

Years of ingrained caution made Mu Jing not fully trust Doctor Zhai's explanation, but since he had said so, she could only reply, "This zipper really isn't sturdy."

"Are you studying mathematics?"

Mu Jing replied warily, "I just have an interest in it."

She refused to reveal any information about her identity. When Doctor Zhai asked about her destination, she lied again.

"You don't need to leave. I'll be getting off soon. Go find the train conductor to purchase a sleeper ticket—I've already put in a word for you. This will be your spot, though I told the conductor your destination was the terminal station. From your accent, you sound like you're from there."

Zhai Hua had recognized her accent before she woke up—which meant he must have heard her shouting. The words she had yelled were too disgraceful to even recall.Dr. Zhai's kindness far exceeded Mu Jing's expectations. Letting her, who had fainted, lie on his bunk was within the normal range of a good Samaritan's behavior. But now, this man she had just met had even considered getting her a sleeper ticket, which not only surpassed her expectations but also her understanding. Of course, there were kind people in the world, but Dr. Zhai didn't seem like one. He appeared aloof toward others, and his cold glasses only intensified that sense of detachment.

Noticing Mu Jing's confusion, Dr. Zhai explained to her, "You remind me of someone I know."

If someone else had said this, it might have sounded like a pickup line, but coming from Dr. Zhai, Mu Jing found it hard not to believe it was true. She also preferred to believe it was genuine rather than a ploy to extract information from her.

Dr. Zhai drew the curtain for her, suggesting she rest a while longer since they would soon arrive at the station. He needed to wait at the exit. After Dr. Zhai left, Mu Jing immediately pulled out the sketchbook she had made for her younger brother. She detected a faint scent of Lysol on it—very subtle, but she noticed it nonetheless. Tucked inside the sketchbook was a New Year's card she had drawn, with her brother's handwriting. It was signed by her older brother, who had been hailed as a prodigy since childhood, mastering middle school physics and chemistry while still in elementary school. Yet, his calligraphy and drawing skills were poor, so he always enlisted his younger siblings' help when writing New Year's cards for friends. Unlike her younger brother, who would ask for favors in return for helping with the cards, Mu Jing was always willing to assist her older brother. Her younger brother's requests were childish—usually just asking their brother to teach him how to make fireworks. Over the years, whenever she saw this card, she would recall the days when their family was still together. Now, they were scattered, and her younger brother lay in a hospital bed.

But there was no time for sorrow now. Her sketchbook for her brother had been seen by that man, and the New Year's card bore her older brother's name. This book was a liability and could not be kept under any circumstances. She wrapped the sketchbook in her clothes and headed to the train's restroom. Eventually, she dropped the sketchbook out of the window into the farmland outside. Closing her eyes, she looked at the New Year's card in her hand, and tears streamed down her face.

By the time she left the restroom, her tears had dried. She took her documents to the train conductor to purchase a ticket. Throughout the process, she never asked the conductor the name of the previous passenger in that seat; she only knew his surname was Zhai. She silently prayed never to encounter him again, even though the evidence had been destroyed. When she returned, she found a pack of compressed biscuits on the bunk. Perhaps he had noticed how hastily she had eaten earlier and, thinking she looked half-starved, left them for her.

Lying on the sleeper bunk, Mu Jing thought to herself that the man must not have rested there—she detected no scent of Lysol.

By the time she disembarked at the final station, no one had come to cause her trouble. Perhaps she had been overly suspicious, judging an honorable person by her own petty standards.

It must have been someone very important to him for him to be so considerate merely because she resembled that person.

As for anything else about Dr. Zhai, Mu Jing didn't dwell on it. Her most important task on this trip was to visit her younger brother.Since Mu Jing had formally severed ties with her parents in writing, she could only send them things discreetly through her younger brother. She and her brother hadn't been particularly close before, but blood ties are peculiar—some things need not be spoken to be mutually understood. Besides food, she sent Fang Muyang a pair of women's shoes and a pair of men's shoes. In her letter, she only mentioned sending them to him. Fang Muyang didn't ask why she had sent women's shoes, nor did he question why the men's shoes were the wrong size. In his next letter, he simply said the shoes fit perfectly and that he had wept for joy upon receiving them. From this, she knew her brother had forwarded the shoes to their parents, as they were completely ill-fitting for him, and he wouldn't have wept over them. As for the food, she trusted her brother would keep it for himself—her third brother had always known how to take care of himself.

She never imagined that her brother, who had always been so capable of looking after himself, would end up in the hospital. When she received the news, she didn't cry. When she saw him in the hospital, she didn't cry. It was only on the train ride back that she finally wept. Her brother lay in the hospital unconscious, and she had to return to work. Because of her family background, she faced constant challenges in her job. She had come this time because Fei Ni had called to say Fang Muyang had woken up but hadn't regained his memory. The art books she had brought, out of caution, she had thrown out the window. Now, all she had for her brother was an old New Year's card. Her brother looked at the card and smiled, telling her he wanted to go home. But where was home? Her brother was sick, she had completely cut ties with their parents, and as for her older brother, he was so consumed by his career that he couldn't even manage his own small family—how could she trouble her sister-in-law with this? Of the five family members, only she could visit him, and even that was just to see him.

She spoke to her brother about the past, but with Fei Ni listening, she only mentioned how he had opposed their parents during their re-education, emphasizing that her brother had always stood on the right side. Fei Ni seemed to sense her insincerity and proactively closed the window, then told them she was going out to buy something and wouldn't be back for a while, adding that the nurses wouldn't be coming in that afternoon. After saying this, she closed the door, leaving the siblings alone to reminisce.

Only then did Mu Jing bring up the days when their family of five had been together. Though not perfect, there had been more joy than sorrow, and her brother had always been so cheerful back then, brushing off any troubles that came his way.

She touched her brother's hand and examined his fingers, realizing he had been well cared for by Fei Ni. But Fei Ni couldn't look after him forever.

Mu Jing's visit was too brief to jog her brother's memory, but her time was up, and she had to leave. She glanced at the new clothes on Fang Muyang and then at Fei Ni, whose own clothes had faded from washing and who looked even thinner than during her last visit. Fei Ni had already endured so much hardship caring for her brother—how could she let her spend her money too? Mu Jing took out two hundred yuan and some national grain coupons she had brought and tried to give them to Fei Ni. Fei Ni refused, but Mu Jing insisted—this was all she could do for her brother. As for anything more, she was powerless.

On the return journey, Mu Jing was slightly more composed than on her way there. The train was less crowded, and she had managed to get a seat. Yet her mood was even heavier than when she had arrived. When she came, she had still held hope for her brother's recovery.There were still five stops until the destination, and the person next to her seat had changed. The man sitting beside her had taken off his shoes to rest his feet, and the smell was quite unpleasant. She thought he would put his shoes back on soon and, believing it was better to avoid trouble, chose to remain silent. But by the time the next stop was approaching, the person beside her was still barefoot.

Mu Jing couldn't help but say, "Please put your shoes on."

The man acted as if he hadn't heard and remained barefoot.

"The train carriage is a public space, not your home."

"This isn't your home either. I want to take off my shoes—what business is it of yours? You're really full of yourself. Out of all these people, why are you the only one complaining? If you don't like it, why don't you take off your shoes too?"

This time, Mu Jing didn't curse. She wasn't good at arguing, and her outburst earlier had been a reaction under stress.

"If you don't plan to put your shoes on, then I suggest you change seats. Why don't you ask who would be willing to sit next to you with your shoes off?"

Under Mu Jing's suggestion, the man put on his shoes, changed his posture, and crossed his legs, pressing his shoes against Mu Jing's pants as if to say, "You told me to put my shoes on, right? Now I've put them on—are you satisfied?"

Just as Mu Jing was about to get up to find the train attendant, she heard a voice say to her, "Since you don't want to sit here, I'm willing to switch seats with you."

Mu Jing turned and saw Dr. Zhai. He was also in the sleeper car for his return trip and told her his seat location, suggesting they switch.

No matter how you looked at it, it wasn't a fair exchange. Mu Jing refused to switch.

At that moment, the person next to her spoke up, "What's wrong with you? First, you argue for me to move, and now you're still lingering here. What exactly do you want? Unless you're trying to..."

Mu Jing's temper flared, "If you keep this up, I'll go find the train police."

"Do you think the train police have nothing better to do like you..."

Before the man could finish, Mu Jing heard a snap. Although Dr. Zhai wasn't an orthopedist, he knew how to dislocate a joint.

Then Mu Jing heard Dr. Zhai say, "Go to my seat. I'll help him with some treatment."

Mu Jing understood the implication and moved from her original seat to the sleeper car. She didn't sit on the berth but found a chair to sit in instead. After a while, she saw Dr. Zhai come over to get his luggage.

His luggage was simple—just one bag, far from full.

Naturally, Mu Jing felt it wasn't right to take his spot, but she also didn't want to return to her original carriage. "You should rest on the sleeper berth. I'll just sit here for a while—it's only four more stops anyway." As soon as she said it, Mu Jing realized the problem with her words—it sounded like she thought it was unnecessary for Dr. Zhai to buy a sleeper ticket for just five stops. But she didn't correct herself, just gazed at the scenery outside the window.

Her younger brother had once given her a picture of the scenery outside a window, but she had never really taken the time to look at it properly.

After a long while, Mu Jing finally remembered to ask Dr. Zhai for his name.

"Zhai Hua. And you?"

"Fang Mu Jing." Just her name alone made it impossible for her to sever ties with her parents.

"Are you in the math department?"Mu Jing gave a soft hum of acknowledgment. She was majoring in Computational Mathematics, not pure mathematics—a specialization her mother had chosen for her. In her mother’s view, career selection should prioritize the needs of the era and the nation. Pure mathematics was reserved for a select few geniuses; even if Mu Jing pursued research in foundational mathematics, she would merely become one of the many, her work unable to directly contribute to societal production. Computational Mathematics, as an emerging discipline in the country at the time, offered relatively greater opportunities for achievement, with research outcomes that could benefit the nation in the short term. Yet, as fate would have it, after graduation, she was assigned to work as a teaching assistant in the mathematics department of a normal university. Still, being able to remain at the school and hold a job was already a blessing—her younger brother didn’t even have the chance to attend school. Compared to her and her older brother, her parents had no particular plans for her younger brother, believing it would be fine if he “could work as a laborer and paint in his spare time.”

Thinking of her brother, no matter how beautiful the scenery outside the window, Mu Jing couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. When her brother was awake, she felt she still had a family. Not only did she write letters to him, but she also maintained indirect contact with her parents through him. She would send items to her brother, who would then forward them to their parents. Sometimes, her brother would also send her things. Without Fang Muyang telling her, she could always distinguish which items were from her brother and which were forwarded by her parents through him.

The sunlight outside was brilliant, yet Mu Jing remained shrouded in gloom. After a long while, she realized Zhai Hua was watching her. She recalled him saying that she reminded him of someone he knew. Probably not when she was cursing in the streets—more likely when she was quiet.

Breaking the silence between them, she asked Zhai Hua, “Are you traveling for work?”

“To perform a surgery.”

So young and accomplished—his skills were so exceptional that hospitals from other regions specifically sought him out. His sleeper ticket was probably arranged by someone else as well. His family background was likely quite favorable, too, which explained why he had been groomed as a key professional at such a young age.