Just after New Year's Day, the usually dignified and imposing chief steward of the illustrious Yuan Manor was anxiously waiting by the side gate, sweating profusely in his agitation. From afar, he spotted a familiar carriage slowly approaching. The carriage walls were adorned with gaudy patterns of gold, silver, pearls, shells, and kingfisher feathers, resembling a child's scribbles from a distance but revealing themselves to be actual talismanic symbols upon closer inspection.
The steward's face lit up with joy as he personally stepped forward to greet it. Bending low, he helped an elderly man with graying hair and a vigorous demeanor alight from the carriage, chattering incessantly: "Thank heavens, you've finally arrived, old master! Ah, we've been at our wits' end..."
The old man looked thoroughly annoyed: "Wasn't he fine last time? What's happened now? Who's provoked him this time?"
The steward wore a pained expression: "Master Cheng, none of us in the entire household would dare claim responsibility! Our old master's authority in the manor is absolute—who would dare cross him? It's just... just..."
The old man snorted: "Hmph! People can spend decades pretending to be gentle and refined in public, yet be utterly tyrannical at home. Out with it, or I'm leaving."
Reluctantly, the steward confessed: "The seventh young lady from the eldest son's branch is about to be married. Yesterday, our old master took it upon himself to open the storerooms to add to her dowry. Everything was fine at first, but as he rummaged through the items, he suddenly muttered to himself, 'This fabric—Shao Shang would surely love it. I'll deliver it to her tomorrow myself...'"
The old man scratched his ear helplessly: "He must have remembered his old habits."
The steward sighed dramatically: "Exactly! Back then, the young master was always sending things to—to Lady Huo. I was still his pageboy at the time, and I remember for years on end, whenever he opened the storerooms, he'd immediately wonder whether Lady Huo would like whatever he saw. It became a habit—Master Cheng, you know this better than anyone..."
Noticing the old man's darkening expression, the steward quickly shut his mouth. Back when he used to follow Yuan Shen to the Cheng residence daily, it was this very Cheng family's third son—fond of lecturing about celestial phenomena and cosmic cycles—who was responsible for turning them away. The two were well acquainted.
Cheng Shao Gong's expression soured: "Who told him to send anything? Who told him to?! Back then, I exhausted myself trying to drive him away, but he clung like stubborn plaster—he brought this on himself!"
The steward forced a smile: "You're absolutely right, absolutely right. But now, all of the old master's peers and close friends have either passed away or left the Capital City. I had no choice but to seek you out."
Grumbling, Cheng Shao Gong scratched his ear again: "Fine, fine! Lead the way, quickly!"
It was early January, and the lingering winter chill hung in the air. They followed a path along a thinly frozen pond toward the heart of the estate, arriving at a tall bamboo pavilion enclosed by heated walls. Inside, a dignified and scholarly elder sat solemnly at the head, a tea stove simmering beside him as he sternly reprimanded a handsome, finely dressed young man kneeling below.
The steward blinked in surprise: "Isn't that the fourth young master? Ah, a man in his twenties still acting like a child, constantly provoking the old master's temper."
Seeing that Yuan Shen was in the middle of chastising his son, Cheng Shao Gong ducked behind a thick bamboo stalk and gestured for the steward to hold off on announcing him.
Yuan Shen massaged his furrowed brow, his voice tinged with weariness: "Stop indulging in these fanciful ideas. Focus on your studies—achieving real scholarly merit is what truly matters..."Yuan the Fourth stiffened his neck: "When I was young, Father taught me to read Kuai Tong's writings. Father said although Kuai Tong was arrogant, he was right about one thing—'A tiger's hesitation is less effective than a wasp's sting; a steed's faltering steps cannot match a nag's steady pace; the doubts of a mighty warrior pale before an ordinary man's determination...'"
Yuan Shen rubbed his temples: "Just get to the point." Yuan the Fourth was born to a concubine during his middle age. He didn't know where he went wrong in raising this child, but the boy had none of his own smooth sophistication—just the stubborn, bookish obstinacy of a pedant.
"Reading ten thousand books can't compare to traveling ten thousand miles. Having read so many books, I should go out and see the world..."
"Didn't I let you travel? You've been north, south, east, and west!"
"But those were all visits to Father's friends and relatives! Every time, you made me deliver letters and gifts along the way—that doesn't count as real travel! A man should carry his sword and roam freely, in the prime of his youth..."
"Have you been reading Marquis Ban's travelogues again?" Yuan Shen coldly interrupted before his son could finish reciting poetry.
Caught out, Yuan the Fourth looked sheepish: "I heard Uncle Ban was delicate and prone to tears in his youth, yet he journeyed all the way to the Western Regions. Now his son has followed in his footsteps, and their family boasts two marquises..."
Yuan Shen sighed deeply: "Your Uncle Ban only appeared delicate. In truth, he rarely fell ill after beginning his studies. Despite seeming timid, he had one extraordinary talent—finding his way. When he and the late emperor were investigating the Land Measurement Decree and got lost in the mountains, even the local guides couldn't navigate the winding paths they called 'ghost walls.' Yet he managed to lead the emperor back out the way they came."
"It was this ability that later gave him the courage to cross trackless deserts without guides and emerge unscathed. And you? Don't you know you have no sense of direction? The slightest chill puts you in bed for three days! Have you no awareness of your own constitution? Clearly, you haven't drunk enough medicinal brews!" Yuan Shen's voice rose to a roar. "Get out of my sight! If you keep blathering, I'll break your legs first and see how far you can walk then! Out! Out!"
Dazed by the shouting, Yuan the Fourth retreated unwillingly.
Cheng Shaogong turned his head: "His mind seems quite clear when scolding his son—very methodical."
The steward smiled bitterly: "Keep listening."
Just then, another young master in fine robes and jade crown entered and knelt before Yuan Shen.
Cheng Shaogong asked quietly: "With so many descendants in your family, I can't keep track. Who's this one? Why does he look so foppish?"
The steward quickly clarified: "This is the fifth young master from the eldest son's line. Of all the young masters in the household, he's the most handsome."
Cheng Shaogong rolled his eyes.
Yuan Shen, already in a foul mood, grew even more displeased at the sight of his grandson's cowering demeanor: "After two weeks confined copying texts, have you come to your senses?"
Young Yuan the Fifth's eyes reddened: "Grandfather, I... my feelings for Miss Wu are... are genuine..."
"Genuine? What do you know about genuine feelings?" Yuan Shen snapped.
Young Yuan the Fifth continued sniffling below.Yuan Shen stroked his beard, his eyes gleaming with mockery. "Very well. When your great-grandparents passed away, due to the demands of court affairs, your grandfather only observed seven months of mourning. Over the years, he has often felt remorseful about this. You shall now return to our ancestral home and observe the remaining seventeen months of mourning on your grandfather's behalf, thus fulfilling the regret in his heart. Once you return, your grandfather will arrange for you to marry the young lady of the Wu family—how does that sound?"
Young Master Yuan Wu felt his heart in turmoil, torn between choices. He admitted he was quite fond of the Wu maiden, but the thought of leaving this vibrant world to endure over a year of rigid tradition in their old-fashioned hometown was worse than death to him.
Yuan Shen snorted with amusement. "Or... in a couple of years, when I retire, His Majesty will surely permit me to recommend one or two promising Yuan descendants. By seniority and scholarly merit, it should fall to you or the sixth son of the second branch. But if you're willing to yield this opportunity to the seventh son of your Third Uncle's family, you may still marry the Wu maiden."
Young Master Yuan Wu's mouth fell open. This concerned his future prospects, making the decision even more agonizing.
The Yuan family had many descendants. He was neither as renowned in scholarly circles as his eldest cousin, nor as adept in water conservancy and governance as his Third Uncle, let alone having an illustrious in-law family like Marquis Huo, whose brothers-in-law were all capable and highly regarded by the emperor.
He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally stammering, "Grandson has heard... that in your youth, Grandfather, you also had a beloved woman you couldn't marry. Why can't you understand my feelings...?" This was an old rumor, and few could even recall who the woman was anymore.
Yuan Shen laughed in anger. "Your mother told you that, didn't she? Women and their long ears!" His laughter was thick with derision. "Yes, there was such a person."
"But if you can't bring yourself to sacrifice what you hold dear for her, how dare you claim it's true love? A few flirtatious glances through a screen count as true love?! If you say another word, I'll send you to garrison the northern frontier! Our Yuan family could use more military men!"
The last sentence was roared out, sending Young Master Yuan Wu scrambling out in terror.
Cheng Shaogong couldn't help but glance back again. "He seems full of vigor and sharp with his words—what could possibly be the matter?"
The chief steward pleaded repeatedly, "You'll understand once you see for yourself."
Cheng Shaogong flicked his sleeves and strode toward the bamboo pavilion, calling out loudly as he walked, "An old friend comes to visit—won't Shan Jian greet his guest?"
Yuan Shen looked up at him and immediately shot back, "Has your esteemed wife run off again to cultivate immortality?"
"Nonsense! Nothing of the sort! We are a loving couple—what nonsense about cultivating immortality or running away!" Cheng Shaogong nearly stumbled, his beard bristling with indignation.
Yuan Shen remained impassive. "The second year of your marriage, she sneaked off once—fortunately, her pregnancy stopped her. After giving birth to your eldest daughter, she tried again—if not for your mother's precautions, she would have succeeded. Not long after your eldest son's wedding, she wanted to ascend the mountain to cultivate immortality, and you only kept her by feigning illness. Lately, your household has been peaceful, your children and grandchildren harmonious—I suspect she's getting restless again!"
Though hit the mark, Cheng Shaoshang absolutely refused to admit it. "Absolutely not! Young sweethearts grow into old companions. My wife and I are now in perfect harmony, planning to co-author a book on celestial phenomena!"
"Then why are you here?" Yuan Shen frowned. "You've already pilfered all the astronomy books from my house. What more do you want?""Can't I come to visit you?! You were seriously ill last month, I'm worried about you, is that so wrong?!" Cheng Shaogong was exasperated.
—Right now, all he wanted was to shake the chief steward violently and demand, 'What exactly is wrong with Yuan Shanjian?! Why on earth did you summon me here?!'
Yuan Shen stood up and brushed his sleeves: "No time to entertain you today. Yesterday I found an exquisite piece of sheer silk. Shaoshang suffers terribly from the summer heat—I'm taking it to her to make summer robes."
Cheng Shaogong froze for a moment, then awkwardly said, "Aren't you afraid Huo Buyi will give you a hard time?"
Yuan Shen laughed heartily. "Between close friends and relatives by marriage, why would we hold grudges?"
Cheng Shaogong gave a bitter smile. "All these years, you've always found excuses to visit the Huo residence. The entire Capital City thinks you and Marquis Huo are on the best of terms—who knew it was just your mischief? If you weren't so frail, Huo Zisheng would have beaten you black and blue long ago!"
"That's exactly why he keeps trying to get assigned outside the capital!" Yuan Shen burst into laughter. "But the late Emperor was decisive and efficient—he couldn't do without him and refused to let him go." His expression darkened. "When the late Emperor passed, Huo Buyi wanted to retire. But Your Majesty, remembering the late Emperor's dying words, insisted on keeping him as a regent."
Cheng Shaogong didn’t know how to respond.
"Never mind. I'm heading out now—we'll catch up another time." Yuan Shen made to leave.
Cheng Shaogong grabbed him tightly. "What kind of host are you? It's nearly evening, and you won’t even offer your guest a meal?"
Yuan Shen thought for a moment. "How about we both go to your sister’s place and mooch a meal?"
"What kind of joke is that?! With you there, forget about getting fed—we’d be lucky to escape without a scolding!"
Unable to shake off Shaogong’s persistence, Yuan Shen finally had the servants set the Dining Table, and the two shared a rambling dinner.
After the meal, Yuan Shen was determined to visit Shaoshang. Shaogong tried to dissuade him, saying it was late and freezing outside, but Yuan Shen had an excellent memory and scoffed, "Have you gone senile? Today is the Lantern Festival—there’s no Curfew in the Capital City. I specifically told my household to go enjoy the lanterns and leave me alone."
Helpless, Shaogong had no choice but to follow Yuan Shen into the carriage.
The wheels crunched softly over the thin ice. Before long, they spotted the grand lanterns hanging at the gates of Marquis Huo’s residence. As they passed the eastern wall, Yuan Shen lifted the carriage curtain and suddenly ordered the driver to stop. "Something’s wrong," he murmured.
He scanned the tall eastern wall. "Every Lantern Festival, Shaoshang hangs a long string of colorful Revolving lanterns here. Why aren’t they up this year?"
Shaogong sighed. "...Because Shaoshang isn’t home."
A rare look of confusion crossed Yuan Shen’s usually sharp and decisive face. "Where... where is she?"
Shaogong’s eyes held pity. "Half a year ago, Huo Zisheng petitioned for retirement a third time, and Your Majesty finally granted it. Not long after, he took Shaoshang traveling."
Yuan Shen sat in stunned silence before finally asking, "Was it because of that young chieftain? Shaoshang already arranged marriages and futures for his children. The imperial decree ensures his family inherits the great chieftain’s position—what more could he want?"
Shaogong sighed and shook his head. "Shaoshang always thought there’d be time—that she’d see A-Xiu again someday. Who could’ve known..." Thinking of that delicate, tearful, honest boy, his heart ached too."Huò Zisheng had promised Shao Shang long ago to take her to see high mountains, vast seas, deserts, and snowy lands, but they never found the time. Only after A-Xiu's death did the couple realize how unpredictable fate could be and that they must cherish the present. During the reign of the previous Emperor, Marquis Huo couldn't bear to leave him to fight alone and thus remained in court. When the new Emperor ascended the throne, he assisted for three years to fulfill his duty to an old friend, then firmly resigned from his official rank."
Yuan Shen seemed to have all the strength drained from his body, his shoulders slumped like those of a truly old man.
He murmured softly, "I remember now, they left half a year ago. Shao Shang even said she didn’t plan to return to the Capital City."
"Here, she bid farewell to Empress Dowager Xuan, then Emperor Wen and Empress Yue, followed by the elders of the Cheng family, and later received news of that young chieftain’s death. Three years ago, she mourned the passing of the previous Emperor—she never wanted to come back here again."
The atmosphere in the carriage grew heavy. After a long silence, Yuan Shen forced a smile and said, "Look at me, truly senile, forgetting such a thing. Perhaps it’s best I retire early, lest I hinder important state affairs..."
Shaogong could no longer hold back his tears. "No, your memory has always been sharp. You... you just fell seriously ill. After recovering, you remembered everything—even the day my youngest son entered the Imperial Academy. You even helped me ask the Teacher there for favors..."
"You remember everything, except... except that Shao Shang has already left..." His voice broke, unable to continue.
Yuan Shen murmured as if in a dream, "So she’s already gone... I remember now..."
"She said she wanted to live the rest of her days joyfully."
"She hoped every day would be bathed in sunshine, with spring breezes never ceasing. And when she died, it didn’t matter where, as long as she was buried beside Huò Zisheng."
—But didn’t you also promise that one day we’d lie together in the Yuan family’s ancestral tomb?
Shaogong wept even harder, while Yuan Shen gently patted his back, comforting him, "It’s alright, it’s alright. With age, we’re bound to forget things."
"Don’t grieve for me, Shaogong. Shao Shang didn’t choose wrong. Huò Bu Yi treated her well, holding her close to his heart for decades, never obsessing over promotions and wealth like I did. But because of this, I suppose His Majesty values the Huò family even more—such a sensible elder statesman, offering unwavering support when needed and stepping aside cleanly once the Emperor was firmly established..."
He chuckled self-deprecatingly. "I truly am a vulgar man, always scheming for gain."
Shaogong wiped his face and laughed. "Good that you know you’re vulgar! Focus on managing your family’s political fortunes—befriend those worth befriending, win over those worth winning over. May the Yuan family produce generations of Three Dukes, renowned throughout the land!"
"Generations of Three Dukes, renowned throughout the land..." Yuan Shen muttered to himself, as if hearing the vexed voice of a woman—
‘...And stop boasting about making me a Three Dukes’ wife! If I were born a man, I’d be the Three Dukes, and you’d be the wife!’
The memory made him burst into laughter. "Shaogong, let me sing you a song."
Cheng Shaogong stared blankly, bewildered, as this top-ranking minister of the court began singing toward the eastern wall of the Huò residence.
"Beyond the eastern gate, fair girls are like clouds. Though they are like clouds, none moves my heart. In plain dress and dark kerchief, she alone brings me joy. Beyond the city gate, fair girls are like blooming reeds. Though they are like reeds, none holds my thoughts. In plain dress and crimson skirt, she alone can delight me..."—I walked out of the eastern city gate, only to see women numerous as clouds. Though women are numerous as clouds, none are the one in my heart. Only she in white robes and green skirt brings me joy and closeness.
I walked out of the outer city gate, only to see women blooming like flowers. Though women bloom like flowers, none are the one I love. Only she in white robes with a red sash brings me love and delight.
The voice was mellow and deep, yet tinged with an indescribable sorrow and melancholy. As he sang, Yuan Shen inexplicably shed tears. He covered his eyes with his palm and pressed his lips tightly together.
He, too, had once loved a woman with all-consuming passion—though the one surnamed Huo had loved even more fiercely than he.
For her, he wasted five years of his life, abandoned an excellent marriage prospect, and needlessly offended many.
He had once waited under the scorching sun, heedless of the stares of others, desperately hoping she would open the gates of Yongle Palace.
He had even sprinted along the seemingly endless palace walls, chasing after her fleeting figure, even as the entire palace watched with mocking astonishment.
In his life of meticulous calculation and weighing of gains and losses, he had once loved with earth-shattering sincerity.
He had no regrets. He had tried his best—poured his entire being into loving someone.
That was enough.
Shanjian, Shanjian—in the end, they never met.
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