My name is Bai Ying.
I was born in Azure Snow City, a place known as the hell for women. Since childhood, my father kept me hidden in a tall building, and from the moment I could remember, I had never left that room.
I often asked my father where my mother was.
He would always look at me deeply and then shake his head.
The people of Azure Snow have no mothers—or rather, they can never recognize their own mothers. After giving birth, women are considered auspicious "joy maidens" and are immediately taken away for Concentrated Breeding, prioritized for the nobles and royals until they die in childbirth or succumb to some fatal illness.
I don’t remember what my mother looked like, and my mother probably doesn’t remember me either.
As I grew older day by day, the look in my father’s eyes grew heavier. I knew he struggled to raise me, unwilling to let me meet the same fate as my mother.
But this was Azure Snow City. No matter how much we hid, how long could it last?
The year I turned thirteen, a wicked servant in our household, resentful over having his wages docked for breaking Porcelain, reported my existence to the authorities. In a panic, my father sent me out of the estate, telling me I must survive.
That was the first time I saw the bustling streets, the vendors shouting their wares.
But I didn’t know where to go.
In the distance, a girl about my age was discovered by the soldiers and dragged away. She screamed in despair, her feet kicking frantically against the ground, leaving ugly streaks of mud in the pristine white snow.
Terrified, I turned to flee but accidentally bumped into someone, scattering the boy’s topknot my father had tied for me. He had told me never to let it come loose—if it did, I would be caught.
Panicked, I clutched my hair and ran desperately forward.
Truthfully, I had no idea where to go. Adults surrounded me, their eyes predatory. A few more steps, and someone might stop me. Even if I escaped the city, I could starve to death in the wilderness.
In my despair, I saw a person.
She wore a sky-blue man’s robe, her brows sharp and her demeanor aloof—someone who seemed hard to approach.
Yet for some reason, I felt that among all the people on the street, she was the only one who wouldn’t harm me.
I rushed over and desperately grabbed the hem of her robe.
She paused, turned to look at me, hesitated for a moment, then picked me up. Her embrace was warm, unlike my father’s. Clinging to her neck, I felt my nose sting with unshed tears.
"I can barely protect myself. I may not be able to help you much," she said, setting me down and retying my topknot before smearing mud on my face. "You’ll have to rely on your own luck."
I stared at her blankly as she took two hesitant steps forward—then turned back.
"What can you do?" she asked, studying me.
When I left home, my father had stroked my head with tears in his eyes and said, "I can no longer protect you. I hope you’re lucky enough to meet a merciful Divine Being who will shelter you for the rest of your life."
At the time, I thought he was lying to a child. If Divine Beings truly existed in this world, why would I have no mother?
But now, looking up at her, I realized my father hadn’t lied.
She tucked me under her arm, evading the soldiers’ pursuit all the way to a secluded courtyard. She gave me warm clothes, hot food, and when I was afraid, let me sleep beside her.That was the most peaceful night I had slept in thirteen years.
To save me, they revealed their identities and used Star Yearn City's token to protect us.
The Divine Being asked me, "Would you like to leave this place with me?"
The other children were still hesitant, but I looked straight at her and answered firmly, "Yes!"
My homeland was nothing more than an attic I could never return to—there was nothing to miss. Since she had saved me, I would acknowledge her as my master. Wherever she went, I would follow.
My Divine Being was extraordinary. Though a woman, she wielded Essence Power and even taught us Combat Skills and Artifact Crafting. I studied diligently and relentlessly. She thought I just wanted to become self-sufficient as soon as possible, but that wasn’t it—I simply didn’t want to disappoint her.
She was gentle with me but cold toward others, especially that strikingly handsome man who traveled with us. No matter how hard he tried to be kind to her, she always brushed him off with indifference.
Azure Snow City didn’t have men like him, and some of my companions even thought my Divine Being was being ungrateful.
I got into a fight with that man and broke one of his ribs, while I only suffered a few scratches on my face.
My Divine Being called me over to tend to my wounds, frowning as she looked at me.
I grew nervous, clenching my fingers. "This servant won’t dare do it again."
But instead of scolding me, she asked, "Why did you fight for no reason?"
I pressed my lips together and lowered my head, refusing to answer. Even if she reprimanded me, I wouldn’t repeat Nanxing’s thoughtless words and upset her.
To my surprise, she didn’t scold me. Seeing my reaction, she actually smiled. "You’re a sensible child. I know you wouldn’t pick a fight for no reason. But next time, think more carefully before fighting. It’s hard to find a doctor on the road, and recklessly breaking someone’s bones could easily kill them. Wait until we reach a city—then you can fight all you want. Understand?"
I listened in stunned silence.
My Divine Being didn’t seem like the merciful, all-compassionate Guanyin. She was more like a chivalrous heroine who lived by her own code.
But somehow, that made me admire her even more.
I accompanied her as she rose from a Golden Hairpin Fighter to the ruler of Sunspire City, and then watched as she became the queen of the Six Cities. I, too, grew from a child barely waist-high into a mature woman.
The Divine Being often asked if I wanted to marry. If I did, she would find me a good husband and provide a generous dowry. If not, I could stay by her side and live out my days in the palace.
I chose the latter, and she said nothing more.
She told me that true freedom was having the power to choose, not being forced into any one path. With peace reigning over the land, I could live happily as someone’s wife or freely as myself.
The Divine Being was always right. And my reason for staying was simple.
I was afraid she wouldn’t be happy.
I had seen her gazing out the window with sorrow, witnessed her calm and composed facade crumble into helpless panic when no one was looking. I had watched her fall for Lord Ji and then watched her heart break over him.
Even now that they had reconciled, I still couldn’t rest easy. Only someone as carefree as Fuling would spend all her time singing Your Majesty’s praises.Your Majesty is indeed good, but in my eyes, how many men can remain unchanged for a lifetime? He may be good now, but what about the future? Sitting on that supreme throne, wouldn't he desire to possess more women? Wouldn't he grow weary of my Divine Being during some argument? Wouldn't he tire of this affection amid the monotonous passage of time?
I don't trust men, so I will always stay by the Divine Being's side.
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