Yao Jingjing coughed violently while pounding her chest, finally dislodging the food stuck in her throat and saving her own life.
She grabbed a nearby glass of water and gulped it down noisily before slamming the cup back on the table, looking utterly exasperated. "Seriously, big bro? If you wanted to give it a try, you should’ve said so earlier! Why make me act so uncouth? I’m actually quite elegant in public, you know!"
Lu Ze’s lips twitched slightly. "If you weren’t this uncouth, I might not have wanted to try."
Yao Jingjing widened her eyes and clicked her tongue. "Wow, your taste is really something special!"
Lu Ze picked up his chopsticks with practiced grace, elegantly plucking a cashew and holding his other hand beneath it as he brought it to his mouth. After setting the chopsticks down, he dabbed his lips with a napkin, leaned back in his chair, and—after the faintest hint of chewing and swallowing—asked in a deep, low voice, "How so?"
Yao Jingjing was dazzled. This guy was seriously impressive—his whole demeanor was like something out of an idol drama. And wait, had he just swallowed that entire cashew whole just to maintain his refined posture? She hadn’t even noticed him chewing.
Ah, the chaos of life. Some people appear flawless on the outside, but only they know the pain of a sore throat.
Shaking off her thoughts, Yao Jingjing answered his question. "You’re not interested in gentle, delicate girls, but you single out a rough, gluttonous one like me? Isn’t that special enough?"
As she spoke, she unconsciously picked up her chopsticks and grabbed a cashew herself.
She quietly mimicked his earlier method of eating. By the time she finished, she was nearly moved to tears.
"Big bro, can you tell me how you’ve survived this long? Eating in such an affected manner and still not starving to death—that’s practically a miracle!"
(●︶3︶●)
After the main meal, Lu Ze ordered a pot of pu-erh tea.
The two sipped quietly.
Then, out of nowhere, Lu Ze spoke. "Well?"
Yao Jingjing slurped her tea. "Not bad, not bad! Ate a bit too much meat today—this’ll help cut through the grease!"
Lu Ze took a slow sip of his own tea, his tone casual. "I was asking about the blind date. Have you thought it over?"
Yao Jingjing blinked. "Wait, you’re serious? I thought you were joking!"
Lu Ze frowned slightly. "Do I seem like someone with a sense of humor?"
Yao Jingjing nearly spat out her tea. "Wow, self-awareness! That’s rare!" Wiping her mouth, she asked, "You really want to give this a shot with me?"
Lu Ze stared at her unblinkingly, his dark eyes gleaming like obsidian—deep and unfathomable.
"Mn." His response was impossibly brief.
Yao Jingjing narrowed her eyes at him. "Just so you know, I’m usually not the kind of person who’s so casual about things!"
Lu Ze arched his right brow. "Mn?"
Still ruthlessly concise—same word as before, just a different tone.
Yao Jingjing huffed. "What I mean is, you’d better think carefully. If we don’t have any kind of relationship, I’m definitely not a casual person. But if you give me the chance, I might just turn into a complete menace! So I’ll ask one last time—are you sure? Is this for real?"
Lu Ze took another sip of tea before giving his answer."Mm-hmm."
Yao Jingjing clutched her teacup, barely containing her excitement. "Big brother, besides 'Mm-hmm' and 'Mm?', can you say anything else? Dare you utter a whole two-word sentence!"
Lu Ze slightly raised his right eyebrow again, his expression seeming to say: Of course.
Then he snapped his fingers to summon the waiter. Though his voice was directed at the server, his eyes remained fixed on Yao Jingjing as he clearly enunciated two words: "The check."
Yao Jingjing nearly burst into tears.
●︶3︶●
After settling the bill, the two stood up to leave.
Lu Ze asked Yao Jingjing, "How did you get here?"
Yao Jingjing replied, "By taxi." Then she asked, "What about you? Need me to share a cab with you for part of the way?"
Lu Ze answered, "I drove myself." After a pause, he added, "I could consider giving you a ride."
Yao Jingjing scoffed, pursing her lips. "Don't bother considering—just do it! I won't let you lose out! My taxi ride here cost forty-nine yuan, and with about thirty yuan worth of traffic, I'll toss you twenty when we arrive. Keep the change. Whenever you think of that one yuan, just consider it your encounter with Lei Feng!"
Lu Ze quirked his right eyebrow and narrowed his eyes.
As they reached the entrance, Lu Ze took out his remote and pressed a button. Yao Jingjing's eyes widened as the headlights of a Ferrari worth no less than five million yuan flashed in the distance.
Gaping at the tycoon beside her, she exclaimed, "You're really showing off! You're just helping a friend ditch a blind date—no need to drive such an expensive car, right?"
Lu Ze looked down at her. "You're right. I'm just here to help, so actually, this is the cheapest car I brought today."
Yao Jingjing's legs nearly gave out, and she almost fainted on the spot.
His shameless display of wealth utterly crushed her, a humble Beijing drifter just trying to survive.
●︶3︶●
Yao Jingjing trembled as she got into the car, trembled as she fastened her seatbelt, then trembled as she spoke: "After careful consideration, I've decided that since you drive such a fancy car, tossing you twenty yuan when I get out might actually be insulting, don't you think?"
Lu Ze started the car, glanced at her, then turned back to the road ahead, his voice deep and low. "If you think it's too little, throw in more. I wouldn't mind fifty."
Yao Jingjing shook her head rapidly. "No, no, no! You misunderstood! What I mean is, for someone of your stature, haggling over twenty or fifty yuan would truly diminish your worth! For the sake of your dignity, I've decided money is off the table. Giving you cash would be like slapping you in the face, don't you agree?"
As she rambled on, gesturing wildly, Yao Jingjing failed to notice the driver's lips twitching repeatedly beside her.
At a red light, Lu Ze tapped the steering wheel with his fingers and asked Yao Jingjing, who was busy scrolling through her phone, "Do you think you and I are compatible for further development?"
Yao Jingjing looked up. "Absolutely, 100% compatible!"
Lu Ze turned his head slightly, eyeing her sideways. "Oh? How so?"
Yao Jingjing declared emphatically: "You have money, I love money—what could be more compatible? It's a match made in heaven!"
Lu Ze looked at her, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly.
●︶3︶●Following Yao Jingjing's chaotic directions, Lu Ze drove three laps around Chang'an Avenue before finally dropping her off at her place.
After parking and turning off the engine downstairs, Lu Ze frowned and said, "Your sense of direction is seriously bad."
Yao Jingjing unbuckled her seatbelt and replied, "No, no, no, this has nothing to do with my sense of direction. I just wanted to ride in this five-million-yuan luxury sedan and circle Tiananmen Square a couple more times under Chairman Mao's watchful gaze—figured I'd soak up some wealth vibes from the hundred-yuan bill!"
Lu Ze raised his right eyebrow. "You sure talk tough."
Yao Jingjing chuckled. "I’ve got a bit of a pride thing, cut me some slack! Compared to being directionally challenged, I’d much rather be seen as money-obsessed. The former clearly suggests an IQ problem, while the latter is just a harmless hobby."
The corner of Lu Ze’s mouth twitched almost imperceptibly.
Yao Jingjing pushed the car door open. "I’m off! Thanks for the ride!" She stepped out.
Just as she was about to slam the door shut, Lu Ze stopped her.
"Aren’t you forgetting something?"
Yao Jingjing stared at him blankly. "...Huh?"
Lu Ze met her gaze silently, his expression clearly saying, "Figure it out."
Yao Jingjing scratched her head before finally exclaiming, "Oh!" as if a lightbulb had gone off. "Man, you’re really nitpicky, huh? Fine, here’s twenty!" She started rummaging through her bag for her wallet. "Wait, no—not twenty. We did circle Tiananmen three times, after all. Here’s fifty! Keep the change—call me Lei Feng!"
She handed him a fifty-yuan bill.
Lu Ze leaned halfway over the steering wheel, watching her. "I wasn’t talking about money."
Yao Jingjing blinked. "Huh?"
Lu Ze narrowed his eyes. "We’ve officially become a blind date now, right?"
Yao Jingjing nodded. "I’m happy to cooperate with your request."
Lu Ze raised his right eyebrow again. "Then shouldn’t we exchange contact info before you leave?"
Yao Jingjing smacked her forehead. "Oh, right! I get a little disoriented in cars!" She dug through her bag again and pulled out a marker.
Then she climbed back into the passenger seat, grabbed Lu Ze’s right hand without hesitation, flipped it over, and swiftly wrote a string of numbers on his palm.
"Your bag really has everything," Lu Ze remarked, his palm tingling pleasantly.
"I swiped this from my bestie when she moved. Had a feeling it’d come in handy someday—see, today’s the day!" She handed the marker to Lu Ze. "Alright, your turn to write for me!"
She held out her palm, blinking and grinning expectantly.
Lu Ze took the marker and stared at her fair, delicate hand for a moment before writing his phone number on the warm, soft skin.
After finishing, he returned the marker and asked, "Why not just save it in our phones?"
Yao Jingjing was busy blowing on her palm to dry the ink. At his question, she froze. "Oh. Right. Why didn’t we just save it in our phones?"
She racked her brain trying to recall the original reason for doing it this way, and after a long pause, it finally came back to her."Oh my! I watched a movie yesterday and got brainwashed without realizing it! The male and female leads memorized numbers like that, and I was so dazed earlier I didn't even think—it just subconsciously influenced me!"
Beside her, Lu Ze's shoulder twitched slightly.
Yao Jingjing waved her hand and got out of the car. "Alright then, I'll be waiting for your call!"
Lu Ze nodded at her.
She happily swung her arms as she walked into the building.
From the car, Lu Ze watched her back disappear behind the electronic door, his lips curling slightly.
He had never met someone with such a simple personality who insisted on acting worldly and complicated.
He raised his right hand and looked at the row of numbers written on his palm.
As he stared, the smile that hadn't yet faded from his lips froze.
Silently, he picked up his phone with his left hand and took a photo of his right palm.
●︶3︶●
After the blind date, Yao Jingjing waited several days but never received a call from Lu Ze.
For the first two days, she remained composed, thinking he might just be playing hard to get like some rich snob, deliberately keeping her waiting.
After two more days passed without a call, she started losing her patience.
He was the one who suggested turning their accidental blind date into a real one. He was also the one who brought up exchanging contact info. So why was he ghosting her now? Playing hard to get didn’t work like this! At the very least, you had to "get" a little first!
Five days later, Yao Jingjing decided to live honestly and straightforwardly. She resolved to call and ask that expressionless rich guy what was going on.
If he had regrets, he could at least buy a product from her before cutting ties—that way, their barely budding relationship (or affair) would at least have some tangible conversion and closure.
Taking a deep breath, she scrolled through her phone, found the number for "Expressionless Rich Guy," and sent a text:
"Hey, are you messing with me? What happened to keeping in touch? Can we still have fun together or not?"
Less than thirty seconds after sending the message, she received a multimedia message.
She opened it.
It was a photo of a man's palm.
Written on the palm was a ten-digit number.
Yao Jingjing felt the number looked both familiar and irritating.
When she took a closer look, she let out a loud "Ah!"
No wonder it was irritating—she had written her own phone number with one digit missing!
●︶3︶●
Yao Jingjing texted Lu Ze: "So... now that you have the right number, aren’t you going to do something about it?"
Half a minute later, she got a reply: "Like what?"
Yao Jingjing jabbed at her screen furiously: "Like asking me out!"
Half a minute later: "Fine."
Yao Jingjing nearly collapsed.
This wasn’t how conversations worked! Every sentence was a conversation-ender—even she, the queen of saving awkward moments, was about to suffocate!
"If it's fine, then ask me out already!!!" Her hands shook from agitation, adding two extra exclamation marks.
On the other end, the cold-faced rich guy glanced at his phone and gave a slight smirk. Slowly (and clumsily), he typed: "Then what should I ask you to do?"
Yao Jingjing was thoroughly defeated. She was almost out of courage to salvage—or save—this conversation.
With a defeated expression, she typed: "Let’s go to the National Library, cultivate our minds, discuss life ideals, and learn some knowledge so we can save the world someday!"Half a minute later, she received a text message, still just two words: "Okay."
Yao Jingjing was going crazy!
Did this guy have any awareness that he was being verbally mocked?!
"OMG dude, don't be like this! I'm mocking you here! Is your sense of humor really zero?!" she sent back indignantly.
Another half minute later came the reply: "Women shouldn't say 'OMG.'"
Yao Jingjing: "The premise is that you have to treat me as a woman first!"
Half a minute later: "Haven't I?"
Yao Jingjing: "You take a woman to the National Library instead of the movies? And dude, can you type faster? It takes you half a minute to write just a few words?!"
This time, it took nearly a full minute before the reply arrived: "I see. I'll ask you out to a movie after work. Can't."
Yao Jingjing stared at her phone screen, fluctuating between joy and frustration.
Rich guy, you're finally getting it! Finally learning the proper way to ask a woman out under the patient guidance of this intelligent beauty.
But rich guy, do you have to say "Can't" so matter-of-factly...
●︶3︶●
While Lu Ze was lowering his head to send texts, his secretary knocked and entered.
Upon seeing what he was doing, the worldly-wise secretary was instantly shocked.
"Boss, are you... sending text messages?! Didn't you claim that texting is something only idiots and poor people do?! Don't you insist on making phone calls whether you're in South America, North America, South Africa, North Africa, the South Pole, or the North Pole?! I remember your ex-girlfriend once cried so hard she almost jumped off a building just to get you to text her back, and you still refused!"
Lu Ze glanced up at his nearly hysterical secretary and said expressionlessly, "Different people call for different approaches. When dealing with someone a bit silly, occasionally doing something a bit idiotic isn't bad."
The secretary was utterly dumbfounded by his profound words.
Author's note: There's a type of person who's actually very cunning but always claims to be silly and acts like a fool—they're the most annoying.
Then there's another type who's genuinely simple and a bit foolish but always tries to appear extremely shrewd—these people are actually very loyal, like the goofball Yao Jingjing here.
I have an early business trip tomorrow, so there's a high chance I won't update tomorrow night. Check the synopsis and Weibo for notifications, mwah!
Damn, so many thunder donations—even Auntie Jiu's massive boobs are scared flat!! Thank you, rich folks, please accept my enormous bosom!!!!! [To the one with the longest username—stop throwing money like this la la la la la!!!!!!!]
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