Love for You

"Who the hell cares about the future? I only want the present."

"Don't be a bad person." She gave him legal education lessons, telling him not to engage in illegal activities—prostitution, gambling, drugs, robbery, theft, murder, arson, intentional injury—explaining the prison sentences for each crime, how severe the consequences were, and how miserable life in prison could be.

Chen Yi lay on top of her, chuckling deeply, his chest vibrations making her body tremble along: "I see you didn't major in law in college. So eager to be a lawyer? How do you know all this so well? Do you think I only specialize in these bad things?"

Miao Jing's expression froze, her eyelids drooping as her eyes rolled restlessly, remaining silent.

He flipped her over, draping her across himself until they were face to face. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders while he encircled her waist, their bodies entwined as one. They kissed with deep affection, made love with wild abandon, carving each other's scent and sensation into their very bones.

"Live well, Miao Jing. Have a good life." His words were both domineering and tender. "This shithole Teng City has nothing to do with you anymore. Neither do I. I'm going off to do big things now. Don't come back and become my burden."

Tears welled in her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing with resentment as she said she understood.

They talked for a long time—about the upheaval during her ninth-grade year, the separation they'd agreed upon after the college entrance exams. He'd told her many times to leave and not return. Now the day of liberation had finally come, and she agreed, saying she didn't care anymore. She'd grown to dislike Teng City more and more, this hot and boring city.

During their final days together, Miao Jing barely left the house. She spent her days reminiscing about their years together, packing for university, cleaning the house spotless, or being with Chen Yi—exhausting themselves with passionate lovemaking, then curling together to talk through the night until dawn. Nestled in his arms, they'd share a cigarette, kissing tenderly in the tobacco-scented air until they opened their eyes to bright daylight and an empty bed beside her, bearing only the traces and special scent of their nighttime passion.

The room she'd lived in for ten years also needed clearing out. Miao Jing didn't have much—some books and test papers from high school, a few old clothes and miscellaneous items. She couldn't take them with her. Chen Yi said to just discard everything after she left. All that remained was one small suitcase—a life so impoverished it seemed nothing was truly essential. Chen Yi suddenly remembered Wei Mingzhen and asked if Miao Jing had any news of her mother, suggesting she might visit her hometown this summer or try to find her. After all, she was her biological mother, and now that Miao Jing had gotten into university—a real achievement—a mother-daughter reunion would be a good outcome.

Miao Jing shook her head. She had no plans to search now, nor any idea how to. She was an adult, past the age when she needed family most. Now she only hoped her mother was still alive, living well like herself. Never meeting again in this lifetime would be fine too.University wouldn't start until early September. Chen Yi had initially wanted her to leave by mid-August, but ultimately couldn't bear to part with her. He kept postponing the date day by day, finally buying her a train ticket for late August—just one ticket. She would have to make the long journey alone, as he claimed to have matters to attend to and wouldn't see her off. Watching her lower her eyes in silence, he thought for a moment and asked if she had any classmates heading to the same city for studies, suggesting they travel together—Chen Yi knew she had been independent since childhood, capable of taking care of herself, and felt entirely at ease letting her go alone.

He was still absent on important occasions. Miao Jing couldn't quite call it disappointment, but on the night they bought the ticket, she sank her teeth fiercely into his shoulder. He winced in pain yet smiled, kissing her lips, only for her to retaliate by biting his lip until it bled. The crimson blood stained her vivid lips, and in that moment, Chen Yi lost control, pinning her fiercely to the bed as he took her, uttering vulgar, lust-filled words, his sharp eyes filled with anger toward her. He slapped her rounded buttocks hard before collapsing breathlessly on top of her, his long limbs splayed out, crushing her until she could barely breathe. They fell asleep exhausted, tangled together.

A few days before her departure, at noon, Chen Yi suddenly returned to check if she was up and brought her some food. Watching her listlessly pick at her meal with chopsticks, he slid a bank card across the table, tapping it twice with his slender fingers. He said the password was her birthday and told Miao Jing to keep the card safe and take it to school.

He bit down on his cigarette: "There's some money in there, not much, but use it for your tuition."

"How much?" Miao Jing asked.

"A little over ten thousand," he replied after a moment's thought. "For all four years of university. If the money in the card isn't enough, you'll have to earn it yourself. There are plenty of part-time jobs for college students now, and big cities have lots of work opportunities. If you work during winter and summer breaks for a few months, you can cover the next year's tuition and living expenses."

He wanted her to stay at school during holidays to work.

"Are you afraid I'll come back?" Miao Jing stared straight at him. "Afraid I'll disrupt your life?"

"I've finally got some freedom and ease. If you come back just to boss me around, annoy me, and provoke me every day, who'd want to live like that?" He flashed a cynical smile. "Besides, if by then I've picked up some other girl and bring her home, and you're there staring us down, that'd be downright creepy."

Miao Jing's face turned icy. "Don't worry, I won't come back."

Expressionless, she pushed back her chair and turned to go to her room. Chen Yi stopped her, telling her to take the card.

"I don't want it."

"Why not? How will you go to school, live, or make friends without money?" Chen Yi furrowed his handsome brows. "Take it. This way, we're even. We've already slept in the same bed... In the end, neither of us owes the other anything."

Even. When money could settle things, there was no need to talk about feelings. She had given herself, and he had responded in kind. Neither owed the other anything. They could part cleanly, without looking back.

He caught up to her and shoved the card into her hand. Clutching the thin piece of plastic, she gritted her teeth and said thank you—thank you for this final act of care.

Chen Yi smiled, ruffled her soft hair, and then sauntered out the door.He hadn't come home for two consecutive days. When Miao Jing called him, he exchanged a few words, saying he was busy with something and told her to stay home obediently without wandering around. He impatiently hung up the phone. Returning around three or four in the morning, his clothes stained with blood, he was entirely exhilarated, his eyes completely bloodshot, as if in heat. After showering, he began relentlessly tormenting her—from the bathroom to the sofa, then to the bed in the room. Exhausted and in pain, Miao Jing felt him hoist her slender legs over his shoulders, leaning down to lick her swollen flesh. His tongue moved like rippling water, making her cry out and scream as she pounded his shoulders and chest.