He was filled with regret too.
Miao Jing rested lazily against his shoulder, her clear eyes open, her heart feeling desolate and barren. She heard him ask in a hoarse, low voice if she needed money—to buy her the trendiest dresses and jewelry, the latest mobile phone and laptop. He was leaving soon, so he didn’t want to argue anymore. He hoped they could both speak less and peacefully spend their remaining days together.
There weren’t many good days left. Recently, there had been an atmosphere of tension and suspicion, with everyone feeling insecure. Judging by the movements around Zhou Kang'an, the police were planning to take down Zhai Fengmao's organization in one fell swoop, though it was unclear whether they could eradicate it completely. The police's strategy was to instigate internal conflicts within the group and provoke clashes with other gangs in Tengcheng, letting them destroy each other. Once both sides were weakened, the police would step in, using the chaos to round everyone up. Chen Yi was caught in the middle, and no one knew what the outcome would be for him.
Miao Jing no longer had the energy to bicker with Chen Yi. She stayed quietly at home, washing clothes, cooking, and tidying up. Chen Yi usually returned home around one or two in the morning, sometimes drunk, sometimes carrying a gun. Occasionally, she overheard his phone conversations, which were unfiltered and crude, but she no longer cared to intervene. She would just make him some sobering soup. When he was drunk and saw her standing in the kitchen in a little camisole, her skin glowing white, he would stare at her for so long that his eyes turned red. After finishing his cigarette, he couldn’t help but walk over, wrap his arms around her from behind, and quietly press kisses laced with the scent of alcohol to her neck and ears.
They were both very young—she was eighteen, he was twenty—at an age full of vitality and intense curiosity about the opposite sex. He had discs in his room and occasionally watched them at home. He was also exposed to such things outside, often relying on lewd fantasies to pass the time. Having lived together for so long and even shared a bed, they were less cautious about how they dressed at home. Sometimes, when she wore something light and revealing, the vague glimpses were enough to fuel his imagination.
Chen Yi didn’t explain his actions much. It was natural for a young man to have desires when faced with a beautiful girl, and with only the two of them at home, his occasional oversteps when angry or drunk… Besides, he only wanted to hold her, to embrace her slender, aloof figure. He didn’t dare act on his dirtier thoughts.
When he held her, Miao Jing could faintly sense the changes in his body. While tidying his room, she had also come across those discs. She watched them too, frowning reluctantly, her expression cool and detached, showing no trace of shyness or delight. After the films ended, she even felt a bit of disdain for Chen Yi. He had dated girlfriends, made ambiguous phone calls with women—he was a complete scoundrel.
When the college admission results were released, Miao Jing successfully received her university acceptance letter. The school sent a thick EMS envelope, including detailed introductions to university life and the city, enough to make anyone dream of the future. Chen Yi carefully examined every piece of paper and booklet—transportation options, enrollment procedures, introductions to military training and specialized courses, campus life and social activities, phone cards and bank cards…
His eyes sparkled, a faint smile on his face, his body language betraying relief and pride. How could he not be proud? After all, Miao Jing had grown up with him. No matter how reckless he was, he had still raised a sister who made it to university. In a few years, she would be wearing professional attire, walking in and out of high-end office buildings, traveling the world with fluent English, and joining the elite class to live a completely different life.Chen Yi deliberately cleared his schedule to stay home, ordered a table full of dishes, and brought back two bottles of liquor from the nightclub to celebrate their bright futures. The divergence of their life paths also signified their respective achievements. Both had endured their own hardships—he vaguely envisioned a clumsy little bird stumbling along, eventually transforming into a white swan soaring higher and farther away.
Miao Jing no longer had any reason to stay in Tengcheng.
That night, Chen Yi smoked heavily and drank copiously. Drunk, he grew even more taciturn, intimidating others only with his cold, gleaming eyes. Yet he rambled on incessantly to Miao Jing. She responded with indifference and perfunctoriness, eventually supporting his staggering form back to his room to rest. With a cool, damp towel, she wiped his face and limbs, cleansing his sprawled body on the bed before feeding him some milk. He opened his eyes drowsily, giving her a hazy glance. She lay beside him, her cheek pillowed on her own arm, facing him with her beautiful, soft eyes quietly fixed on him.
The corners of Chen Yi’s lips lifted as he casually pulled her into an embrace, dragging her against his chest.
Chapter 37: Does It Hurt?
Around three or four in the morning, the room was dimly lit. The bed was spread with a cool mat, and the electric fan whirred loudly, blowing against soft skin and hair—a perfect time for deep sleep.
Chen Yi, half-conscious, fumbled for water. Someone held a cup to his lips, and he took a few sips of the cool liquid. His hand brushed against the slightly cool skin of the person beside him, then instinctively wandered upward. The touch was smooth as silk, accompanied by a faint, familiar fragrance. Drawing closer, he felt a slender, graceful body. How could he not know who was in his arms? He thought it was yet another sensual dream.
Breathing sounds suddenly rose in the darkness, quickly turning intimate and lingering. Chen Yi, muddled, thought, This is way too fucking real. Before his mind could catch up, his hands acted on their own, boldly caressing and kneading every place they shouldn’t. He felt the dream figure’s body stiffen and tremble slightly, her warm breath puffing against the hollow of his shoulder as if she were tensely enduring.
He wanted to kiss her. Instinctively, he sought her lips, unrestrained and unafraid of startling her. Easily parting her cherry lips, his tongue slipped inside, doing as he pleased. He imagined countless ways to kiss, yet only in dreams could he indulge so freely.
Whether it was the dream body’s stiffness and inexperience or the overwhelming intensity of the sensation, he faintly heard his name, "Chen Yi," whispered like a sob in his ear. Nails dug into his skin, bringing a sharp pain. His bleary eyes snapped open, fixing on the person before him—her clear, bright eyes glistening with unshed tears, wavering as they gazed at him.
Everything around him... was not a dream.
Chen Yi jolted fully awake, breaking into a hot sweat. His pupils dilated, his entire body rigid and speechless, like a stunned wooden chicken. He jerked his hand back as if electrocuted, scrambling halfway across the bed, his voice hoarse and trembling. "I... you..."
He was lying in her room, on her bed.
"You were drunk.Miao Jing’s delicate face was flushed with palpitations, her usual cold and aloof demeanor subtly receding, replaced by a hidden tenderness and charm in her eyes. Trembling, she curled into a sitting position, hugging her knees, her expression calm yet hesitant as she hid herself from his view.
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