Love Beyond the Grave

Duan Chengzhang's expression was somewhat gloomy, tinged with a hint of awkwardness, but Duan Xu's gaze at him was too open and sincere. He thought to himself that this child was still young after all, and it was normal for him to be curious about things he hadn't experienced. With a long sigh, he said, "Those things happened too many years ago, and I can hardly remember them now."

In his mind, there was only a vague outline of a beautiful figure. He recalled placing a peach blossom in that girl's hair, but what she had said or how she had smiled—those details had long faded from memory.

"Were you sad after she left? Did you often miss her?"

"When you're young, your heart is simple. There was occasional sadness, but with time, you let it go. In life, there are many things more important than romantic entanglements. No one is indispensable to another, nor is anyone irreplaceable. You'll understand these things in time." After a moment of silence, Duan Chengzhang asked, "Do you have a girl you like?"

"Yes," Duan Xu lowered his eyes.

"A commoner?"

"Yes."

"You could take her as a concubine in the future."

Duan Xu suddenly laughed, shaking his head. "Then, Father, why didn't the girl you liked become my aunt?"

Some people refuse to compromise. And if you truly love someone, how could you let them compromise?

Duan Xu didn't press the topic further, steering the conversation back to political matters. After giving some instructions, Duan Chengzhang seemed to remember something and frowned. "Countless eyes will be on you when you return to the capital this time. Be cautious in your words and actions, especially when facing Fang Xianye... That man is now the leader of the Southern Capital's literary circles, and even the notoriously critical censors in the Imperial Censorate highly praise his essays and poems. You must avoid provoking him."

Duan Xu nodded, observing his father's expression. "Father, does Fang Xianye have some grudge against our family?"

Duan Chengzhang's gaze darkened. "Just listen to me. Don't ask too much."

Duan Xu obediently dropped the subject. After exchanging a few more words, Duan Chengzhang dismissed him to rest. As Duan Xu left the study, he found Duan Jingyuan pressed against the door. Closing it behind him, he crossed his arms and smiled. "Eavesdropping on my conversation with Father again?"

Duan Jingyuan peeked into the room before tugging at Duan Xu's sleeve and pulling him aside. "Is Fang Xianye the one who submitted that memorial against you, the one that got you sent to the border camp? He always seems to oppose you. Does he really have a feud with our family?"

After a brief silence, Duan Xu replied lightly, "Isn't it normal to have feuds? Nowadays, who doesn't have some grudge against someone else? Even you and I have a feud."

Duan Jingyuan widened her eyes in shock. "What feud do we have?"

"When we were kids, you stole osmanthus cakes and blamed me. And you're always complaining that I'm not as good as I was back in Dài Province."

For a moment, Duan Jingyuan was speechless. She huffed, "You're too petty! That was ages ago!"

"You know perfectly well you only spent three months in Dài Province when you were eight, yet you still bring it up today?" Duan Xu countered swiftly.

Duan Jingyuan snorted. "Who would've thought the refined and polite Third Brother back then would grow into such a sharp-tongued man? I'll keep saying it—a hundred times if I have to—Third Brother, you've really gone astray!"

Duan Xu smiled without another word.Perhaps because he and Duan Jingyuan were the only siblings left in their generation, Jing Yuan was very close to him. When Duan Xu left the Southern Capital, she was still young and had little impression of him. Later, when she visited their grandmother in Dài Province, she returned constantly talking about her third brother, saying he was the best boy in the world and that she would marry someone like him someday.

After Duan Xu returned to the Southern Capital, it took him considerable effort to shatter this beautiful fantasy of hers, turning her chants from "I want to marry someone like Third Brother" to "Third Brother is a big liar." Though she bickered with him daily, she fiercely defended him outside, never tolerating a single bad word said about him.

Duan Jingyuan glanced at the scroll in Duan Xu's hand and asked, "Third Brother, are you really getting married?"

Duan Xu's gaze also fell on the scroll as he replied, "Perhaps."

"Well, you always obey Father. You took the imperial exams when he told you to, accepted the position of a palace official when arranged, and now you’ve agreed to resign from your military post and return. As for marriage... surely you won’t just accept whoever Father picks? This is a lifelong matter!" Jing Yuan rambled on, her eyes drifting toward a wooden rooftop in the distance. "Mother should be the one helping you with this, but..."

Several hours had passed since Duan Xu returned home, and their mother still hadn’t appeared. Sensing her slip, Jing Yuan quickly added, "Mother is used to fasting and can’t stand the smell of meat, so she didn’t join us for dinner. Originally, you were supposed to arrive in the afternoon, and she spent the morning in secluded prayer, refusing to be disturbed..."

Duan Xu’s expression remained unchanged as he said lightly, "Jing Yuan, what are you afraid of?"

Jing Yuan thought to herself, What am I afraid of? It’s just that you and Mother have never been close, and I don’t want any more estrangement between you.

As if reading her worries, Duan Xu said cheerfully, "I was just about to visit Mother in the prayer hall. Don’t worry."

He handed the scroll to Jing Yuan, asking her to review it for him first, then called for Chen Ying to accompany him to the backyard prayer hall to see their mother.

Earlier, he had introduced this adopted brother to the family, explaining that Chen Ying would be living with them from now on. Since Duan Xu had never liked having attendants and had no personal servants before, his family was surprised to hear he intended to keep Chen Ying by his side.

His eldest sister-in-law was the most delighted, saying the family lacked members and that Yiqi was lonely studying alone—Chen Ying’s arrival would be good company. Yiqi protested that since his uncle had taken Chen Ying as a brother, shouldn’t he also call Chen Ying "Uncle"? But Chen Ying was a few years younger than Duan Yiqi, who naturally refused. After much fuss, it was settled that Yiqi could simply call him by name.

Duan Jingyuan studied Chen Ying for a long time before bluntly telling her third brother, "Third Brother, your adopted brother is a bit rustic."

After a pause, she declared confidently, "Leave him to me. Within a year, I’ll turn him into a noble young master of the Southern Capital."

Duan Xu waved his hand. "He’s going to the battlefield with me someday. Don’t turn him into one of those Southern Capital dandies."

This earned him an eye-roll from Jing Yuan.

Perhaps it was this mention of "the battlefield" that caught their father’s attention, prompting him to urgently summon Duan Xu for a talk, demanding he abandon any thoughts of returning to war.Chen Ying's voice pulled Duan Xu back from his reverie. He looked up to see Chen Ying trotting over excitedly, tilting his head up to ask, "Third Brother, you called for me?"

Nowadays, this "Third Brother" rolled off his tongue with increasing ease, just like how he used to incessantly call out "Little Sister" back then.

Duan Xu smiled faintly, patting Chen Ying's head as he said, "Come with me later to visit Mother. She prefers quiet, so just refrain from speaking too much."

Chen Ying nodded vigorously.

Thus, he led Chen Ying through the courtyard's covered walkway, arriving outside a serene Buddhist hall surrounded by a pond of white lotuses. The faint sound of scripture recitation drifted from within. Duan Xu took a deep breath, stepped forward, and pushed the door open directly. The woman inside turned her head in displeasure, asking, "Who—"

Upon seeing it was him, she paused in surprise, rising from her prayer mat to say, "Xu'er."

The woman appeared to be in her forties, with traces of time at her temples and the corners of her eyes. Dressed simply in dark green robes with an ebony hairpin, even such plain attire couldn't conceal her beautiful features and the innate grace and nobility in her bearing.

This was the daughter of the Grand Princess, cousin to the current emperor, the golden-branched, jade-leaved Western River Princess of Great Liang. She was also his father's wife—his mother.

Duan Xu broke into a bright smile, like any child returning home after long travels, calling out warmly, "Mother, I'm back. I heard you insisted on finishing this scripture before emerging, and no one dared disturb you. But I missed you too much, so I came to see you."

The woman seemed slightly uncomfortable. Softly, she said, "I heard you weren't expected until this afternoon at the earliest, so I... Please, sit quickly."

Duan Xu complied, moving to sit on a nearby chair while his mother left the prayer mat, incense burner, and Buddha statue to sit across the table from him.

Her gaze fell upon Chen Ying, prompting Duan Xu to explain, "This is my sworn younger brother Xue Chenying, whom I took in during the war. His parents passed early, and his elder sister performed great deeds on the battlefield. I promised her I'd look after him. Chen Ying, come greet Mother."

Chen Ying stepped forward properly, kneeling to kowtow as he said, "Greetings to Madam Duan."

Madam Duan immediately bent to help him up, saying kindly, "No need for such formalities. Your coming to the Duan family is fate's doing. The Buddha is merciful—from now on, this is your home."

Chen Ying's eyes grew slightly moist. He nodded silently before standing, thinking to himself how gentle and kind Madam Duan was, a truly rare good person. Madam Duan used her handkerchief to dab at Chen Ying's eyes, then turned to look at Duan Xu—only to find his gaze had just returned from watching her wipe Chen Ying's tears. When their eyes met, his expression immediately warmed with a smile.

Madam Duan studied Duan Xu carefully before asking, "During your time on the battlefield... were you injured?"

"Just minor wounds. Likely because Mother prayed for my safety daily—all dangers were avoided, misfortunes turned to blessings."

Madam Duan nodded. Her hand still held Chen Ying's, unconsciously rubbing it as if this unfamiliar child could help soothe her nervousness. Sunlight streamed silently through the window onto the table between them, while the offered incense curled in pale wisps, creating a moment of perfect stillness.

After a brief silence, Duan Xu suddenly laughed, saying with innocent cheer, "Why is Mother always so reserved when seeing me? Jing Yuan might start suspecting there's discord between us."Madam Duan was taken aback. She lowered her eyes in fluster before raising them again, hesitating as she spoke, "I just feel... all these years I haven't been able to do anything for you. My heart is full of regret. After all... when you needed me most, I wasn't by your side."

Her words carried hidden meaning, as if referring to those missing seven years.

"Mother overthinking this. I've never held any resentment toward you regarding this matter."

"Precisely because you don't resent me that my heart feels even worse, that I feel too ashamed to face you." Madam Duan sighed deeply. After a moment's thought, she said, "In a few days I'll be going to Jin'an Temple outside the city to pray for blessings. Would you like to accompany me?"

Duan Xu replied lightly, "Mother knows I don't care for such places. Since my heart isn't sincere, it's better not to enter sacred Buddhist grounds. Let Jing Yuan accompany you as usual—you quite enjoy having her by your side, don't you?"

Though her suggestion had been declined, Madam Duan seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Making conversation, she said, "With Jing Yuan's lively temperament, it's surprising she can quiet her heart to worship Buddha. She must truly have a connection with the Buddha."

Duan Xu couldn't help chuckling softly, drawing a puzzled look from his mother. He explained, "Little sister has no special connection with Buddha. She simply adores you too much, craving your attention and company. Since you're always in the prayer hall, she follows you there just to be with you. It's taken all these years for her to gradually grow close to you."

Madam Duan looked somewhat abashed. Duan Xu continued, almost jokingly, "When I was young, I was too stubborn—I never went to the prayer hall, always hoping perhaps one day you'd come out and come to me. Who knew I'd leave before that day came."

"Xu'er... I... I just..."

"Naturally Mother prays for the family's peace and health. I didn't understand when I was young, but now I do."

Without waiting for his mother's explanation, Duan Xu had already thoughtfully provided her with an excuse. Madam Duan paused, tightening her grip on her prayer beads, her expression growing even more somber.

Leading Chen Ying out of the prayer hall, Duan Xu stopped after turning a corner. Chen Ying squeezed his hand, looking up at him with concern. His Duan Xu-gege still bore traces of fatigue from recent illness, his expression calm yet inscrutable in his dark blue robes.

Suddenly turning, Duan Xu pinched the boy's cheek and smiled, "When I was little, I really wished she'd wipe my tears like she just did for you. But thinking carefully, I never cried in front of her. And thinking further—throughout my entire past life, since I can remember, I don't recall any time when I needed them most."

Chen Ying looked confused. He shook Duan Xu's hand and asked, "Were they unkind to you? Do you hate them?"

Duan Xu shook his head, looking down at Chen Ying as he said, "I don't hate them. In truth, I understand them well—perhaps still love them even."

It's just that now, he neither needed nor expected anything from them anymore.