It had been a long time since Hu Xiu stayed late chatting at Li Ai's REGARD. After working as a translator near Jing'an Temple until she was dizzy with hunger, she slipped into the darkness and ducked into REGARD. When she told Li Ai about Zhao Xiaorou's recent situation, he simply muttered "She brought it on herself" before bending down to pry open a bottle of beer.
Back when they used to chat with Zhao Xiaorou in the unlit shop with its shutters down, Li Ai would listen through the surveillance cameras, occasionally joining their conversation. Sometimes the three of them would drink together. The funniest time was when Zhao Xiaorou got so drunk she hailed a taxi while clutching a bottle of grape juice, insisting it was 1982 Lafite. Li Ai remarked that if that grape juice were really ten years old, it would have likely fermented into vinegar by now.
Back then, the three of them had reached a consensus: girls' gatherings were the same worldwide - stargazing, moon watching, discussing poetry and songs before eventually gossiping about who was a bitch.
Now she sat with Li Ai in the coffee shop playing guitar, performing everything from Nakagawa Suna's "Lady Penelope" to Masaaki Kishibe's "song for 1310" with master-level fingerstyle technique—
It was said he'd reached this peak during the period after his wife passed away, practicing until his fingertips bled.
When the song ended, Hu Xiu and Li Ai sat in silence, merely clinking their glasses quietly. A half-empty bottle of dry white wine stood on the table, yet they hadn't spoken about anything.
Zhao Xiaorou had always been the one who made conversations lively and vibrant. Without their central pillar, no one could liven up the atmosphere anymore.
Hu Xiu opened her phone to check Weibo's hot searches. When Zhao Xiaorou was dating Gong Huaicong, she'd also appeared on the gossip lists, receiving celebrity treatment. Currently trending was a scandal between a popular male idol and a young actress, both in their early twenties. They'd been photographed leaving a restaurant separately after dining together, their hands briefly touching, prompting marketing accounts to create various narratives: "Are these two holding hands while leaving the restaurant, signaling they're about to announce their relationship?"
"These past few years, xxx hasn't been focusing on acting, putting all her energy into cozying up to male celebrities. Yet she's the first to jump out and clarify - I really don't understand this plot development."
"The male idol is at the peak of his career right now. I hope he prioritizes his work. Let's not speculate about him and instead focus more on his new song!"
The comments said everything while saying nothing. These days, aside from genuine relationship news and public outrage, most trending topics were likely purchased.
Hu Xiu clicked to enlarge the restaurant photo - the male idol's hand appeared more like it was resting on the actress's shoulder.
But the actress's Weibo comments section had already been flooded, with slut-shaming arriving with alarming speed.
As a longtime celebrity follower, she'd gradually come to understand the patterns. Internet celebrities were like bubbles of their era - film and television projects were custom-made around their popularity, their songs were fast-food pop. When the bubbles eventually burst, a new wave of celebrities would emerge. Especially now with idols and Internet celebrities everywhere, getting a piece of the profit pie seemed more like the ultimate goal of participating in talent shows and gaining attention.
The darker side was that idols couldn't date, their behavior had to satisfy fans, they needed to appear on as many variety shows as possible, and they couldn't interact too much with female artists—
No wonder Diao Zhiyu detested all this.
Li Ai drank until the last drop, still not drunk but his fingers moving faster and faster across the strings, changing the song's melody entirely.
Hu Xiu listened with growing confusion: "What's going on? Are you turning the guitar into a shamisen?"
"I can play bass, ukulele, guitar - what's stopping me from playing shamisen?"
"You're drunk...""Really, I can even recount Ma Liang's entire routine for you if you don't believe me. I noticed it the first time on Snowpiercer, but didn't say anything.
Who knew he'd circle back to Zhao Xiaorou's side? Whatever—she never listens to me anyway."
Another point of synergy between Li Ai and Hu Xiu was their shared passion for studying musical scores.
They had once sat in the same spot analyzing why Ringo Sheena's music was so distinctive, eventually discovering two key elements in the left-hand piano notation: a bass-like quality and chord progressions. The offset between these two different rhythms transformed pop into jazz.
Now, as Li Ai mindlessly played the piano, Hu Xiu understood perfectly—this heartbroken man was drowning his sorrows in alcohol.
During the day, Li Ai had been apologizing to clients. Zhao Xiaorou had rescheduled three outdoor shoots due to feeling unwell, the company lost a video editing intern, and he was overwhelmed while still working on designs for Pei Zhen. This was his rare personal time.
The design draft on his iPad showed Pei Zhen's new home in cream and beige tones—warm, minimalist yet sophisticated, clearly intended as a sanctuary for a single person.
"Isn't this design similar to one you previously made for Zhao Xiaorou?"
"Yeah, the Shenzhen apartment. But Wang Guangming rejected it later, thought it was too plain."
"Better not to renovate a rental property anyway—waste of money."
"After Tang Ting passed away, I rarely took on cases. Zhao Xiaorou's project was my first exception.
I really liked her back then—sharp-witted, somewhat decisive, acting on her impulses.
Wang Guangming has that tendency to stifle others' dreams, but Zhao Xiaorou—he could never control her."
"Liking Zhao Xiaorou and Xu Meng both—" Hu Xiu hiccuped, "Do you have some special preference for married women?"
Li Ai flicked Hu Xiu's forehead. "What nonsense. Those were just coincidences."
"But the depth of your affection could easily make women take it seriously. No offense, Li Ai, this might not be your flaw—
but it's definitely your character defect. You always care too much about broken people. In that regard, you're no different from Ma Liang, except he specifically targets unmarried women."
"Harsh. There have been single girls pursuing me too. I've wavered."
"Really?"
"Of course. Before Zhao Xiaorou got divorced—I told you I don't have a thing for seducing wives.
Later she got selected for SNH48 and disappeared from the shop. Recently she held a handshake event, occasionally visits my shop—we're just friends."
Hu Xiu never expected such an age gap! But watching her behind the counter explaining coffee varieties, performing pour-over with devout concentration, made one feel immersed in an intoxicating fluid. To some extent, even while embroiled in lawsuits, she remained unapproachable—wavering was all he could manage.
Suddenly remembering something, she asked: "Idols aren't allowed to date, right?"
"Of course not. Their agency contracts are very strict."
After a thoughtful pause, Hu Xiu laughed and clinked glasses with Li Ai. "Can I borrow your camp bed tonight? I don't want to go back."
"Don't even think about it..." Li Ai pointed toward the back door. "Diao Zhiyu will be here in ten minutes."
Drunk Hu Xiu slept soundly while clinging to Diao Zhiyu, grateful for the alcohol—she hadn't been sleeping well lately.The art exam-savvy father knew all the tricks. Hu Xiu made a special phone call, earnestly asking if he knew any familiar teachers, and managed to find out about one of his former students.
Around her own age, this person was now specializing in artist training, teaching dance and vocal music. Trainees endured harsh conditions and had to sign confidentiality agreements. Finally, she asked her father, "Do artist training teachers make a lot of money?"
"I never asked, but it's definitely not as stable as art exam training. Are you still thinking about that young actor? I advise you to give up early. Xiao Pei is back, you should meet more often..."
Hu Xiu politely but quickly hung up the phone.
Diao Zhiyu seemed quite idle recently. After leaving his 007 job, he hadn't looked for any Live Action Role Playing Game work.
Instead, he was taking on some photography projects. As for movies and acting opportunities, he showed no urgency in seeking them out.
Through indirect channels, she heard that many of his scenes in the film seemed to have been cut—whether due to censorship, personal reasons, or editing preferences remained unknown.
During a rare rehearsal at the drama school, Hu Xiu sat in the distance reviewing materials, noticing Diao Zhiyu seemed off his game. As he performed, his voice gradually softened. His Role was an eccentric scientist, and despite long hours studying the script, he hadn't made any breakthrough progress.
Turning to look at Hu Xiu, she said gently, "I bought groceries. Would you like to come home for dinner?"
After cooking at home—braised pig trotters and stir-fried spring bamboo shoots—the meal progressed in heavy silence. Diao Zhiyu put down his chopsticks: "Maybe we should just order takeout from now on."
Damn!
After dinner, Hu Xiu enthusiastically replied to comments on Bilibili, then opened a talent show video with great interest, watching with evident enjoyment.
Pointing at a boy revealing his abs while dancing, she said: "This guy went really viral, later becoming the talent show champion."
"What's so great about these singing and dancing idols? I have no interest in this sort of thing."
"So many people are breaking their necks trying to gain popularity through these shows." Hu Xiu typed rapidly while responding to Diao Zhiyu: "Trending on social media, creating gimmicks, fighting for screen time... Zhao Xiaorou told me after visiting the set of Idol Trainee that low-ranked trainees would stand next to popular ones just to catch some camera time, because without popularity they could only leech off others' exposure."
"That's exactly why these things are meaningless."
"Not necessarily. The friendships formed are real, the connections are real, being appreciated by mentors is genuine, and the shared experience of struggling together for months is authentic."
"You really do love these talent shows."
"After watching Korean Produce 101 and Chuang, I genuinely cried over their friendships.
Opportunities might appear just like this—audiences will notice those with special qualities. The audience isn't made of ordinary people."
Diao Zhiyu didn't respond, just rummaged through his bag for a script. Hu Xiu looked over—it was a dating show script, with meticulously planned beats from initial meetings to physical contact in every episode. Diao Zhiyu asked: "After seeing this, do you still think being an idol is interesting?"
Hu Xiu rested her chin on Diao Zhiyu's shoulder: "We should send Zhao Xiaorou to participate in this—where did you get this? Don't tell me your company wants you to join?"
"This is a project I'm helping someone with. I'm the director." Diao Zhiyu leaned against the window: "I'd rather die than participate in something like this myself.""Don't dismiss the entire industry with one sweeping statement." This was likely the immaturity in Diao Zhiyu - freshly graduated, though with abundant part-time experience and a youth that wasn't entirely innocent.
Yet his life experience hadn't significantly outpaced his years, still carrying an academic air about him.
At twenty-three, she had been far less mature than Diao Zhiyu, but society's harsh lessons reminded her to encourage him to venture out and try, to learn from his own stumbles and successes before his perspective could change.
After the camel's bath, its eyelashes clustered in twos and threes, transforming into fairy lashes on their own.
She reached out to pinch the camel's face, the boy in the mirror distorted by her grip: "So handsome, with such unique charm, yet so stubborn."
"Am I..." Diao Zhiyu held her hand, unusually willing to engage seriously: "Everyone thinks your looks and qualifications make you perfect for becoming an artist or celebrity.
It's put you in an awkward position: the academy thinks you lack dedication, the market finds you too sharp-edged. How do you choose?"
"Retract the ambition and edge, then commit fully to one path."
Diao Zhiyu glanced at the mirror, unexpectedly catching Hu Xiu looking back at him with an expression that showed no hint of jest.
Hu Xiu released her hand and sat seriously before him: "That time you were drinking by the roadside feeling down - what was bothering you?"
He remained silent...
"Was it disgust with the company's terms? Not enough salary?"
"No..."
"Then why didn't you continue as the 007 actor? It seems to me you want to try being a real actor too, don't you?"
"Several companies approached me with contracts. But the terms were all quite harsh."
"Revenue share or salary issues? Or concerns about future prospects?"
"Could you please stop meddling." Diao Zhiyu's expression shifted: "I'll handle these matters myself."
"I'm not your mother, I'm your girlfriend. Of course I can speak about this..."
Diao Zhiyu met her gaze: "The contract condition forbids relationships. How could I possibly bring that up?"
Just as expected. Though Hu Xiu had mentally prepared dozens of scenarios, hearing it aloud still felt unbelievable.
In her mind, this was probably like Leonardo DiCaprio or Robert Pattinson's necessary transition from idol leads to serious actors.
But Diao Zhiyu didn't see it that way - he never considered himself handsome, yet prided himself on his talent and maintained aloof pride. He knew he wouldn't become a leading man, but neither would he condescend to become an idol celebrity, an empty shell followed by others. Thinking this, Hu Xiu smiled.
"Is that all? Diao Zhiyu, you really are quite immature."
"Immature?"
"Do you have any idea how much effort it takes for an idol to debut? Company selections, vocal and dance training, acting classes, foreign language study, even etiquette requires relearning. Those skilled in hosting develop eloquence, those with camera-friendly features hone their acting. How many people fall by the wayside on this path?
Don't look down on fans either. The fan culture you disdain has persisted for years because these idols, near or far, have genuinely illuminated their lives.
Just like when I met you during my lowest point - it's not that I deified you, thinking you're the handsomest man alive. No, it's that the moment I saw you, my heartbeat gained meaning, and in that instant I heard it, I understood I was truly alive.""There might be extreme cases like car chases, obsessive fans, and inappropriate intrusions into others' private lives.
But there are also those who work hard taking photos, showing support, and genuinely expressing gratitude towards their idols as people who have illuminated their lives.
Some even strive earnestly to reach greater heights, just so they can one day stand eye-to-eye with their idols and become someone who illuminates their path in return.
Didn't you experience this feeling in Snowpiercer? You must have received encouragement from those gazes at some point."
"Stop. I know all this. When something has fifty percent darkness and fifty percent light, I don't make a choice."
"You don't choose because you lack the capability yourself—you might not get selected, and you probably wouldn't be competitive anyway, right?"
Hu Xiu took a deep breath. If it took wounding him to spur him forward, and if she had to be the one to do it, then so be it: "Apart from being handsome enough and performing little tricks in Snowpiercer to please girls, your acting skills aren't very mature. Plenty of your peers have already starred in films and TV dramas. The skills and popularity you've built up in Live Action Role Playing Games are far from sufficient.
You might only last one round in an audition show. Faced with this kind of fan economy, your personality isn't particularly appealing either. With a small company, you'd get little screen time—so Diao Zhiyu entering might just become a joke. Besides, you already have a girlfriend and lack the discipline expected of an idol..."
"What are you trying to say?" Diao Zhiyu finally turned a cold face to meet her gaze. "Are you saying I'm incompetent?"
"Of course I know you're outstanding. It's just that when facing competition, you don't even try—you immediately choose to give up.
Whether it's audition shows or signing with a company to film idol dramas, you haven't even attempted them once.
If you went to an audition, you'd receive direct feedback and see your shortcomings. If you filmed an idol drama, you'd realize playing a sweet, doting CEO isn't as easy as it seems—it's not all clichéd formulas. After acting in a movie and giving up, sinking into confusion, you might not even realize which stage—from filming to final cut—caused your scenes to be edited out... Presumption is your biggest flaw. How do you know it's not what you want if you never try?"
"You're too naive. Once you do these things and reach a certain level, there's no turning back. We might not even be able to date anymore."
"You're only twenty-three. Why worry about that?"
"Do you think our relationship isn't important?"
"More than dating me, I hope you can find your own path and walk it even better."
As she spoke these words, she heard something tear in her ears—perhaps it was her own heart. The words she wanted to say were finally out.
Diao Zhiyu realized this too. He leaned in, gripping her shoulders, and asked solemnly for an answer: "Hu Xiu, do you love me or not?"
Hu Xiu remained silent, just watching the immature boy before her grow agitated because of her words.
"You want to break up just to make me do things I've never done and might not even like?"
"I never intended to push you away, but you're saying goodbye over something like this, and so easily—sister, your heart is too cold."He had only called her "sister" twice—the previous time was when questioning Lin Qiumei's position in his heart, making him defensive; this time when he spoke these words, he was crying—this was the first time Hu Xiu had seen Diao Zhiyu shed tears outside of Snowpiercer.
The moment Diao Zhiyu pushed the door open and left, she thought: indeed, she was far more cruel than she had imagined.
OpenNovel