Love and Crown

Opening my eyes, the white sunlight blurred into a continuous glow before me. The aged tent ceiling seemed distant, and gradually, the scents of medicinal herbs, the sour tang of various leathers, and the smoky aroma of long-burning charcoal filled my nostrils.

After going full circle, I was back—still in the Jurchen Camp.

Minjia’s face suddenly appeared before me, her bright eyes welling up with tears. "Cang Cang, you’re finally awake! I was so worried..." She threw her arms around my neck and burst into sobs. "I thought you’d never wake up. You kept delirious, scaring me to death."

I chuckled weakly, still somewhat dazed, feeling as though everything before me belonged to another lifetime.

"Alright, Cang Cang just woke up. Let her rest," came Kumoer’s amused voice. He approached the bedside and looked down at me with a smile. "Does the wound still hurt?"

I smiled back at him. "Thank you, Great Khan. It’s bearable."

The wound indeed didn’t hurt much. Whatever medicine Kumoer had applied left a cool, tingling sensation instead.

Studying Kumoer’s face, I wondered how many days I had been unconscious. He already looked somewhat haggard, with stubble even sprouting on his chin.

Remembering that he had been dueling Xiao Huan just before I collapsed, I smiled again. "Did you win the duel?"

"No," Kumoer denied outright, surprising me. He grinned. "He won."

Xiao Huan won? So Kumoer was forced to negotiate peace with him?

This time, at least, he wouldn’t return empty-handed.

As for me... this woman who had openly thrown herself into another man’s arms—surely he wouldn’t linger over me anymore.

I smiled. "In any case, from now on, I am the Great Khan’s person. I’ll share both joy and hardship with you."

"Of course," Kumoer replied with a laugh. "Xiao Bai made me promise over and over to take care of you after his death. How could I refuse?"

"After his death?" Propping myself up on my elbows, I felt a dull ache in my head. "What did you say?"

"I said after his death." Kumoer casually gestured toward a corner of the tent, where a tiger-skin recliner stood. A figure lay faintly visible on it. "His pulse is gone. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive."

I pushed aside the fur blanket covering me. That was Xiao Huan? How could that be?

Sitting up from the bed, I stared straight at Kumoer. "How did this happen? What’s going on?"

Minjia chimed in from the side, "Ah, Cang Cang, don’t move! You’ll reopen your wound."

Kumoer watched me calmly. "He stayed by your side for days and nights. I suppose his strength was exhausted."

Days and nights by my side? My voice came out hoarse, as if from a dream. "What did you just say? What’s gone?"

"His pulse is gone," Kumoer’s steady voice replied. "A day ago, when he thought you were waking up, he collapsed. At first, there was still breath and a pulse, but later, the pulse weakened until it couldn’t be felt."

I climbed out of bed and walked to the tiger-skin recliner. The figure lying there was indeed Xiao Huan. His expression was serene—I hadn’t seen him sleep so peacefully in a long time. That night in the Imperial Palace Bedchamber, when I woke at midnight, I had secretly studied his face by moonlight. Even in sleep, his finely arched brows had been slightly furrowed.

Had it really been so long since I’d seen him this relaxed? Was it because he had nothing left to worry about?Kumoer followed me, persistently saying, "He probably knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he wrote down all the prescriptions you'd need after waking up. While he was still conscious, he told me that if he died, I should take care of you. Cang Cang, don’t you like this?"

Truly Xiao Huan's way of doing things—even arranging matters so thoroughly after death.

I pressed my fingers to his face, feeling a bone-chilling cold. His body had been cold for a long time, hadn’t it? Not a single trace of life could be detected.

Do I like it? Why does everyone keep asking if I like it? What do I like? Somewhere deep inside, a pang of sorrow stirred. Minjia’s casual words echoed clearly in my ears: "I often think, if someone, when you’re in danger, only thinks of saving you, only wants you to be safe, never considering whether they themselves might die for it—then they must love you far more than they love themselves."

I’ve always been a fool, swaggering around with false bravado, arrogantly believing I could see through everyone’s hearts, shamelessly proud of it. I thought I could live independently this way, that others wouldn’t notice my cowardice. How pitiful—shrinking even before the things I love. I kept telling myself, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t tell Xiao Huan I love him again. If I did, he’d run away like last time.

Don’t say it. That way, I could still watch him from afar. Even just watching from a distance was enough. But not this time. I was about to lose him forever. Never again would there be a young man with a gentle smile living in my heart. Just the thought of it made it hard to breathe.

What have I done?

When Gui Wuchang held me hostage, weren’t those words Xiao Huan said meant to save me?

He had just suffered an episode then, too weak to rescue me from Gui Wuchang, who was equally skilled in martial arts. So he spoke coldly, making Gui Wuchang believe capturing me was pointless.

And yet, because of those few words in that critical moment, I stopped trusting him completely.

Before I returned to Shanhai Pass, he told me he came to the Jurchen Camp to save me. I didn’t believe him. Even after my suspicions, he still insisted on dueling Gui Wuchang—wasn’t that also to prevent Gui Wuchang from harming me again?

What more did I need him to prove? Did he have to lie here, cold as death, before I’d believe him?

What were the last words I said to him while he was still conscious? We’re already even.

That might have been the last thing I ever said to him while he was alive. How could I have been so heartless? We’re already even.

I leaned down and gathered his body into my arms. Though so cold, it was still soft, not yet stiff. Didn’t Kumoer also say he wasn’t sure if he was dead or alive?

He must still be alive. How could someone like Xiao Huan die in a place like this? Even if Li Mingshang said his life wouldn’t be long, even if he had prepared everything in advance—he wouldn’t die. Right, Li Mingshang was here. Wasn’t he hailed as the greatest physician in the world? How could he fail to save even one person?

Holding Xiao Huan tightly, I tried to stand and walk out.As long as I could return to the pass and find Li Mingshang, he would surely be able to save Xiao Huan. Or perhaps there wouldn’t even be a need for him to intervene—Xiao Huan would wake up on his own, just like before, pulling himself back from the brink of death, then gently touching my cheek and saying, "Cang Cang, I’ve worried you." That’s how it would be.

Minjia’s voice seemed to reach me from a great distance: “Cang Cang, your wound has reopened!”

Kumoer stretched out an arm to block my path. “Cang Cang, your wound has reopened.”

The pity in his gaze nearly drove me mad. I smiled at him. “I’m sorry… Kumoer…”

I had still failed him. When he had declared that he wanted me to be his Khan’s Wife, the light in his eyes had been so captivating. Yet, I was still going to fail him.

I had once wondered—what would I do if Xiao Huan were gone?

Perhaps I would become the Empress Dowager, living out my days in the lonely chill of the Forbidden Palace. Or, if I were a little more carefree, I might walk away from that icy palace and return to the Martial World I loved, living as a recluse, watching flowers bloom and wither, drinking beneath the breeze until I was drunk enough to call it a night.

But now I finally understood what would happen if Xiao Huan were gone… If he were gone, then none of it would matter anymore.

Even if there were so many beautiful things I hadn’t yet done, if none of the days ahead held him, then it would be better to end it all right here.

“Cang Cang…” There was something in Kumoer’s hawk-like eyes that I couldn’t decipher. His thin, sword-sharp lips moved slightly. “He isn’t dead yet… I can send someone to the pass to inform Qi Chengliang. There might be someone there who can save him.”

“You can send someone?” I froze. Wasn’t Xiao Huan the enemy he wanted dead at all costs?

Kumoer gave a bitter smile. “I don’t want to fight Qi Chengliang to the death. Besides, Xiao Bai strongly advocates for peace. I don’t want to replace one emperor with another who’s determined to fight me to the bitter end.”

“There’s an Army Imperial Physician in the pass named Li Mingshang. He can save Brother Xiao.” I didn’t fully grasp his meaning, but I clung to this sliver of hope.

“I’ll have Chi Ku go immediately.” Kumoer nodded.

I exhaled in relief, only then realizing how impossibly heavy Xiao Huan’s body was in my arms. My legs weakened, and I nearly collapsed to the ground.

Kumoer reached out to steady me. “Don’t worry. You should rest too. He risked his life to bring you back—you should take care of yourself.”

I nodded and handed Xiao Huan over to Kumoer, then let Minjia help me sit back on the bed.

At that moment, Minjia called He Du in to change the bandages on my wound. Kumoer stood nearby, glaring at the old army physician with a furious expression before suddenly blurting out, “Sooner or later, I’m going to kill that old man.”

Still dazed, I asked, “He hasn’t done anything wrong. Why kill him?”

Kumoer continued to seethe. “Now I finally understand why Xiao Bai insists on changing your bandages himself, no matter how exhausted he is. To think that old man He Du’s filthy hands have been groping around your chest—I haven’t even touched you there!”

“Brother, you’re being so petty. He Du is a doctor. You’ve been grumbling about this for days.” Minjia scoffed beside him. “I like Cang Cang just as much, and I haven’t said a word.”

“What does a little girl like you know? Don’t make things worse.” Kumoer huffed and found a stool to sit on.Minjia stuck out her tongue at him. "You're only five years older than me, yet you dare to lecture me." She then brought over a steaming bowl of medicine. "Cang Cang, drink this quickly. Brother ordered it to be kept warm in hot water over the fire, so it's still hot."

I never expected someone as rough around the edges as Kumoer could be so considerate. I smiled at him. "Thank you."

Kumoer cleared his throat awkwardly, turning his face away as if embarrassed. After a long pause, he mumbled, "You're welcome."

I didn’t know what to say. In this situation, it felt like I was taking advantage of his genuine feelings for me to buy temporary peace, yet I kept going back on my word, wavering indecisively.

After drinking the medicine, I soon heard movement at the tent entrance as someone entered.

I quickly opened my eyes to see Li Mingshang striding in with a medicine chest. He must have rushed over immediately upon receiving Chi Ku’s message, arriving unusually fast this time.

For once, he didn’t saunter in leisurely but swept over like a gust of wind to the couch, checking Xiao Huan’s pulse before casually greeting me, "Little girl."

Holding my wound, I got up and walked to his side.

After taking Xiao Huan’s pulse, Li Mingshang stroked his beard and shook his head, repeating three times, "Utter recklessness!"

Seeing his grave expression, I took a deep breath and asked, "Mr. Li, how is he?"

Li Mingshang glanced at me. "There’s still hope, but it’ll require a piece of flesh from your heart as the Medicinal Primer. Are you willing?"

Though Li Mingshang often joked, he said this with complete seriousness. Hesitantly, I asked, "Really?"

He raised an eyebrow. "When have I ever lied? The only way to save him is to trade your life for his—there’s no other path. Are you willing?"

"Then take it—" The words spilled out before I could stop them, and I immediately regretted it.

Sure enough, Li Mingshang stroked his beard and shook his head with amusement. "Just teasing. What kind of absurd Medicinal Primer would that be?"

Falling for the old man’s trick again, my vision darkened with frustration. At such a critical moment, he still had the leisure to jest!

But then Li Mingshang turned serious again, sighing as he shook his head. "This time is truly perilous. I’m not entirely confident."

He continued, "His external injuries aren’t the issue. The problem lies in the toxic stagnation in his Five Viscera, blocking his Meridians and preventing circulation. This fool has been forcibly suppressing the Cold Poison—utterly reckless! And he dares call himself my disciple, nearly losing his life in the process." He paused, thinking. "Wait, judging by the damage to his heart Meridians, he shouldn’t have lasted this long. Did someone help clear them?"

"Probably me," Kumoer interjected. "When he collapsed, I noticed he wasn’t breathing, so I patted his back a few times. He coughed up black blood, and his breathing returned."

"That explains it. At least sixty percent of this boy’s survival is thanks to you," Li Mingshang said, then mused for a moment. "There is a way, but it’ll take some effort. Kumoer, do you have large cooking pots for soldiers in your camp?"

"Yes," Kumoer replied absentmindedly, not immediately noticing that Li Mingshang had addressed him directly by name.

"Bring one here, set it up in the tent, fill it with water, and heat it. I’ll give you a prescription—gather these herbs and boil them thoroughly." Li Mingshang stroked his beard. "We must first use the medicine’s potency to clear his blood vessels. Otherwise, even if we save him, he’ll be a cripple."Kumoer suddenly stroked his chin and asked out of the blue, "Does he wear clothes when steamed in the basket?"

"If there's even a single thread of fabric blocking the heat, that boy will be in danger," Li Mingshang shot him a glance. "Later, you'll help me take off his clothes and carry him in."

To everyone's surprise, Kumoer actually smiled at being ordered around like this. "At your service."

It took me a moment to realize what he was thinking, and I hurriedly spoke up, "Mr. Li! He has a penchant for men! He wants to take advantage of Xiao Huan."

"Should I carry him then?" Li Mingshang glared at me. "What does it matter if he prefers men? Enough nonsense! Do you still want to save him or not? Kumoer, hurry up and prepare!" This time, it was he who grew impatient first.

The large pot and medicinal herbs were quickly prepared. Li Mingshang even had a curtain hung inside the tent to separate me and Minjia.

This old man guards against me as if I were a thief!

Fuming, I crouched on the bed, gnawing on a corner of the blanket. What kind of logic is this? Xiao Huan is my husband, and Kumoer is the one trying to take advantage! Hmph, the world is going to the dogs, and people's hearts are no longer pure!

Minjia sat by the bed, constantly running to the curtain to peek through the gap before scurrying back, adding fuel to the fire. "Cang Cang, Xiao Bai is so handsome. He must look even better without clothes, right?"

I grumbled in response, "Hmm, didn't you see him when he was your Male Concubine?"

Minjia blinked. "You're his wife. You should have seen him too, right?"

"It was pitch black at night—how could I see clearly? Besides, I was too nervous to look properly." The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. Kumoer was getting all the benefits for free!

"I was nervous around Xiao Bai too. He's so handsome, I only dared to take off his outer robe and feel his muscles through his clothes," Minjia said, a blush blooming on her cheeks.

"Eh? So you two didn't... share a bed?" I was a bit confused.

"We did share a bed?" Minjia looked even more puzzled. "Is there something else to do when sharing a bed?"

So this young lady didn’t understand the affairs between men and women. Xiao Huan had stayed in her tent all that time for nothing.

Thinking it best not to corrupt the young girl, I didn’t elaborate further.

"Cang Cang," Minjia stared straight at the curtain, her mind already wandering behind it. "I kind of want to see what Xiao Bai looks like when he's naked."

"Me too," I blurted out, my anger clouding my judgment.

Minjia turned to look at me. "Cang Cang, do you think we'll get nosebleeds?"

I thought for a moment. "I'm injured and have already lost a lot of blood, so probably not. Besides, I've seen him before."

"I don't know if I'll get a nosebleed..." Minjia looked troubled. "But I still want to see."

I nodded. "Then let's look."

With perfect understanding, we exchanged a glance, then jumped off the bed and tiptoed to the curtain, pressing our faces against the gap to peek.

Behind the curtain, mist swirled, and shadowy figures moved indistinctly... Well, indistinct but clear enough for us to make out the silhouettes.