Chapter 87: Heart's Knot
Mama Tong quickly hid in the main hall when she saw Gu Lan emerge, only stepping out again after Gu Lan had left.
Having witnessed the earlier scene, she couldn't help but sigh. At the very least, the young master would no longer easily trust the Second Miss. However, the words the Second Miss had spoken were indeed troubling. The young master's current despondency surely stemmed from thoughts of his mother's death—consumed by guilt and self-reproach, wishing he could do something to make amends.
After some consideration, Mama Tong decided to return and report the matter to Jinchao.
Jinchao was in the study flipping through books. Having just cleared away those letters, she was now researching how to care for a cactus. The books offered little information, with only one mentioning that it required no special attention or watering, as the plant was hardy enough to survive weeks of neglect in a study.
Just as Jinchao set the book down, Mama Tong entered and recounted the events at Tranquil Fragrance Study in detail.
Jinchao fell into deep thought upon hearing it.
Truthfully, she still resented Gu Jinrong, which was why she had avoided him. But if the boy continued down this path, he would only sink further into despair.
She recalled how, in her past life, Gu Jinrong had come to the Chen Family to see her—his once-tall frame now hunched, appearing even shorter than her, his face aged and haggard.
A dull ache throbbed in Jinchao's chest. After a moment's deliberation, she instructed Mama Tong, "...Fetch some ice from the estate's ice cellar. Then have Caifu go to Tranquil Fragrance Study and inform the young master that I wish to speak with him."
Ice blocks cut in winter were stored in cellars and could be used well into summer.
Mama Tong acknowledged the order and went to carry it out. Jinchao washed her hands with Qingpu's assistance before heading to the small kitchen.
Meanwhile, at Tranquil Fragrance Study, Gu Jinrong remained silent after Gu Lan's departure, unresponsive even to Qing An and Qing Xiu's attempts to engage him.
Standing by the study window, he gazed at the banana tree in the courtyard, its newly bloomed pale yellow flowers fresh and tender from the rain.
As a child, he had often suffered from summer fever, leaving him irritable and unable to eat. His mother would peel bananas for him, and he would take a bite from her hand before giggling and burying his face in her embrace. Only after much coaxing would he lift his head to take another bite.
His mother never grew angry or scolded him, displaying endless patience.
Now, the memory of that sweetness only tasted bitter.
Such a wonderful mother—and he had caused her death. The thought alone was enough to tear his heart apart.
Seeing that the young master remained unresponsive no matter what he said, Qing An pursed his lips and dropped the matter of Mama Tong. Not long after, a maid arrived to announce that Caifu, from Eldest Miss's side in Paulownia Courtyard, had come.
Gu Jinrong invited Caifu in and, upon hearing that his elder sister wished to see him, felt a pang of sorrow.
He didn't feel worthy of facing her.
After instructing Qing An to bring water so he could wash his face, Gu Jinrong straightened his robes and followed Caifu to Paulownia Courtyard.
Jinchao wasn't there yet. Gu Jinrong sat on an embroidered stool in the western chamber, taking in the room's arrangement. Near the window stood a long table with an offering to Guanyin, incense still burning in the censer. The once-lavish decorations were gone—he remembered his elder sister's white jade and emerald-inlaid "Hundred Birds" screen and the priceless golden nanmu table with gold-threaded curtains. Now, the curtains were replaced with dark brown damask adorned with interlocking branches, the screen displayed a landscape painting, and the small table held a thriving pot of ivy.Mother also liked having green pothos in the house. She said they grew with a quiet elegance.
Gu Jinrong's eyes welled up with tears, and he dared not look any longer, quickly turning his gaze out the window. In the courtyard stood an extremely lush grapevine, heavy with clusters of purple grapes.
When Jinchao entered, she saw him staring at the grapevine and said with a smile, "If you want some, I can have someone pick them for you."
Hearing Jinchao's voice, Gu Jinrong hurriedly stood up.
Jinchao looked at him. Gu Jinrong's delicate face was quite thin, his brows still bearing the softness of youth. Dressed in a blue cloth straight gown, he wore a piece of hemp cloth over his chest, just like her. When he had first returned from Qifang Alley, he had been about the same height as her, but now he had grown taller by a noticeable margin—though he was as slender as a bamboo pole.
Gu Jinrong murmured, "It's alright, Eldest Sister, no need to trouble yourself..."
But Jinchao took his hand and led him outside, saying, "Why not pick them yourself?" She then asked Yuzhu to bring a sewing basket and scissors.
Yuzhu had long been eyeing the grapes but hadn’t dared to pick any without Jinchao’s permission. Now that she had the chance, she eagerly fetched the sewing basket and scissors. The group of master and servants began picking grapes. For the clusters Jinchao couldn’t reach, she handed the scissors to Jinrong, who easily snipped the highest and ripest bunch with a slight stretch, delighting Yuzhu so much that her eyes crinkled with joy.
Caifu and Qingpu also came to help, fetching water to wash the grapes.
The grapevine was as thick as a wrist and yielded two full sewing baskets, almost overflowing.
Jinchao set aside one basket to send to their father and two younger sisters, while the other was brought into the room, with each maid receiving a cluster as a treat.
The maids all giggled happily, but Gu Jinrong remained silent the whole time.
Jinchao spoke to him again, "You can come here often from now on. If nothing else, your sister will at least treat you to some food."
Gu Jinrong nodded. He didn’t ask why his eldest sister wanted him to come.
After a while, Mama Tong brought something over. Two small celadon bowls, exquisitely crafted.
Gu Jinrong froze at the sight.
Jinchao handed him a bowl of honeyed red bean shaved ice and urged him to try it. "...Back when I first returned, I noticed Mother always made honeyed shaved ice for you in the summer. Once, when she forgot, you clung to her and refused to leave. That made me wonder what this honeyed shaved ice was, so I pestered her to teach me how to make it. This is the way Mother taught me—does it taste the same?"
Gu Jinrong scooped a spoonful of shaved ice into his mouth. After sitting for a while, the ice had melted into the honey, creating a wonderfully soothing flavor.
This was the taste of the honeyed shaved ice Mother used to make. In winter, stored ice would be crushed and placed in porcelain bowls, mixed with mashed red bean paste, and drizzled with honey—cool, sweet, and perfect for beating the heat.
Gu Jinrong wanted to tell Jinchao that this was indeed the taste, but when he opened his mouth, he burst into loud sobs instead. "Eldest Sister, I... I miss Mother..."
He clutched Jinchao’s sleeve, crying so hard he could barely breathe, trembling as he curled into a ball and slowly sank to the floor.
Jinchao sighed and stroked Gu Jinrong’s back to comfort him. "Your eldest sister is still here. It’s alright." Perhaps the pain hadn’t struck him so sharply at first, but Mother had seeped into his memories bit by bit, and the more he thought of her, the more it hurt.Jinchao said to him, "Sister hasn't forgotten her resentment toward you for past matters, but all these things must eventually pass. If Mother's spirit in heaven sees you tormenting yourself like this, she would surely be distressed... Rong'er, if you truly feel remorse, focus on your studies. Bringing honor to our family is the best way to honor Mother..."
Gu Jinrong raised his tearful eyes and asked, "Eldest Sister, can you forgive me...? I know it was all my fault. I trusted Gu Lan too easily and harmed you and Mother. I won't do it again... I want to properly respect you..."
Recalling what Mama Tong had told her, Jinchao understood clearly in her heart.
She smiled faintly and said, "Forgiveness or not is meaningless. You must do something worthwhile instead."
After hearing this, Gu Jinrong pondered for a long time. He seemed to begin understanding his elder sister's meaning. The maids had long left the room, leaving it quiet. Jinchao took out a scented sachet from her sleeve and placed it in his palm, saying, "Go back and think carefully. Come find me again when you've figured things out."
She then stood up and left. Gu Jinrong opened the sachet and found two golden beans inside.
He remained silent for a while before tightly clutching the sachet in his hand.
The sky had darkened, and no candles had been lit in the room yet.
When Song Miaohua woke from her nap, she found herself in complete darkness. She put on her shoes and walked to the western chamber, where she saw two new maids holding a box, giggling as they took out its contents to admire.
Song Miaohua leaned against the doorframe without speaking. The two maids played by the dim light of a bean-sized lamp, holding a gilded filigree hairpin inlaid with yellow tourmaline.
That was her possession...
The maid named Huang Li wore several kingfisher feather bracelets on her wrist. Laughing, she stuck the hairpin into the other maid's bun. The two kept admiring themselves in an exquisite white jade-inlaid bronze mirror, chatting merrily.
Song Miaohua gripped the doorframe in fury, her hands trembling uncontrollably. But she said nothing and quietly retreated to the inner chamber, sitting blankly on the kang.
Lan Er hadn't visited her in a long time, and these two new maids dared to disrespect her so brazenly. They were worse than the previous maids! To openly play with her belongings—in the past, she would have broken their hands for this!
What had happened? Had Gu Jinzhao pulled some trick again?
After some thought, Song Miaohua raised her voice and called out, "...Huang Li, bring a lamp over!"
The maid's crisp voice replied from outside, "Concubine, please wait a moment. The candles are used up—Cao Ying has gone to fetch the butter lamp."
...Used up? Then what were you using just now!
Song Miaohua was livid, but this only confirmed her suspicions. Though she had fallen from grace, she was still a pregnant concubine. If not for some external influence, these maids wouldn't dare act so insolently!
What could she do? Trapped here, she had no one to turn to—who could help her now?
If this continued, with Lan Er unable to see her and Gu Jinzhao scheming against her, how could she fight back?
Song Miaohua felt lost. Now that Gu Dezhao despised her, her only reliance was the child in her womb—otherwise, Gu Jinzhao and Ji Wu Shi would have long forced her into a nunnery! Yet after her downfall, she had no way to contact the Song family, who otherwise might have protected her and Lan Er.Her father was the Vice Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices, just over fifty years old—still not considered elderly. The Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices, however, was already past seventy and would retire in a few years. If the minister stepped down, her father might ascend to that position—a third-rank official, no less...
Back when she was to marry into the Gu family as a noble concubine, her father had been deeply displeased with her, forbidding any contact from the family for years. It was only after she brought Lan Er back for a visit that their relationship began to thaw.
Her father had long been reluctant to involve himself with her, but for the sake of his career, he wouldn’t allow himself to have a legitimate daughter sent off to a nunnery.
And if she was being treated like this while outside, who knew how much worse Lan Er was suffering!
If she could reach out to the Song family and have her father stand up for Lan Er, Gu Dezhao wouldn’t dare mistreat her. Besides, her father had always been fond of Lan Er—he wouldn’t refuse to help.
Song Miaohua quietly pondered all this. She realized that the only ones who could help her and Lan Er now were likely the Song family.
But if she remained trapped like this, all of it would be nothing but empty talk.
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