Chapter 74 Passing
Jinchao saw Gu Dezhao emerge and immediately rose to greet him.
His expression was calm. "Last night, you had the guards apprehend Yu Ping at the inner gate?"
Jinchao curtsied and replied, "I merely wished to clarify matters. If Concubine Song had any schemes, I needed to be prepared. Yu Ping is perfectly fine in the East Side Room—would Father like to see her?"
Gu Dezhao waved his hand dismissively and chided her, "Enough. You are, after all, a young lady of the inner chambers. Do not do such things again."
Gu Jinzhao simply smiled in acknowledgment. Her father's words had never held much weight for her. How could he understand her actions?
She bowed slightly as she saw him off.
Mama Xu approached from the corridor, carrying a bowl of ginseng and goji berry black chicken soup. "Eldest Miss, Madam ate little at noon. I prepared some soup—perhaps you could bring it to her..." Jinchao nodded, took the bowl from Mama Xu, and stepped into the West Side Room.
Madam Ji leaned against the lattice window, gazing at the lush greenery outside as the golden sun dipped westward, casting an orange glow upon the window frames. Her gaunt face rested against a large crimson pillow embroidered with gold, making her sallow complexion appear even more pronounced. Jinchao approached with the porcelain bowl, smiling as she took her mother's hand. "Have you and Father spoken? As long as things are clear now, all will be well."
Madam Ji smiled, her eyes fixed on Jinchao with an odd brightness.
She nodded, her lips parting, but no sound emerged—her throat seemed to tighten.
Jinchao didn’t notice. She ladled the soup into a bowl and raised a spoonful to feed her mother.
Madam Ji drank it obediently, though the soup had no taste to her. Yet she continued until the entire bowl was finished. Jinchao felt relieved—if her mother could still take nourishment, surely she and Father had reconciled. She didn’t seem upset anymore.
Madam Ji clutched tightly at Jinchao’s sleeve. Only when Jinchao tried to rise did she realize her mother was holding onto her skirt. She chuckled softly. "Would you like me to stay with you?"
Madam Ji shook her head. Then, in a faint voice, she said, "You didn’t sleep at all last night and have been with me all day... Go rest now."
Jinchao was indeed exhausted. Her head throbbed as if struck by iron, her mind foggy. Had it not been for her concern over her parents’ conversation, she would have collapsed long ago. She glanced at her mother once more, noting her serene smile, and said, "Then I’ll take my leave. I’ll come to greet you first thing tomorrow."
Madam Ji nodded, watching as Jinchao turned and walked toward the door.
Once she stepped out, she would never see her again!
A sudden tension seized Madam Ji, and she called out, "Chaojie!"
Jinchao turned back with a smile. "Is there anything else, Mother?"
Madam Ji didn’t know why she had stopped her—only that she wanted to memorize every detail of her face. Finally, she smiled. "Rest well. Everything will be better after a good sleep."
Jinchao nodded and stepped through the doorway.
Madam Ji kept her eyes fixed on Jinchao until she disappeared from sight, staring until her eyes ached.
Mama Xu entered quietly and tentatively suggested, "Madam, you must be tired. Perhaps you should retire early. As for Yu Ping and those maids... I’ll handle it." She then summoned Moyu to help Madam Ji wash and assisted her onto the bed.Moyu tucked the blankets snugly around Madam Ji. Madam Ji had remained silent all this while. When Mama Xu came over to extinguish the lamps, she whispered to her, "When Rongge'er returns, you must tell him... to listen to his elder sister's words..."
Mama Xu smiled and grasped her hand. "Madam, why do you speak like this? Are you overthinking again? The young master will return in a month. Your words will carry more weight than this servant's when you tell him yourself."
Madam Ji shook her head, her voice murmuring, "Chaojie has already become so capable... yet I... still need her to take care of me. She's been busy with this matter for so long, and I still can't argue... truly..."
Mama Xu grew puzzled. "Madam, what exactly is wrong? Did the master say something?"
But Madam Ji closed her eyes. "I'm tired. You may leave now..."
Seeing her eyes shut, Mama Xu could say no more. Leaving one lamp burning in the inner chamber, she withdrew with Moyu.
Outside, it wasn't completely dark yet. Madam Ji opened her eyes and gazed at the carved ceiling above her bed depicting symbols of prosperity, longevity, and happiness, sighing slowly. Her throat began to itch again, and she couldn't suppress violent coughs. Not wanting to disturb those outside, she muffled her mouth tightly with the quilt, curling up in discomfort. When she finally caught her breath, she began to laugh—a laugh mocking herself.
Her mother had opposed her marriage to Gu Dezhao back then, but she had refused to listen, mustering the only defiance in her life to marry him.
Now she was slowly withering away in the depths of the inner courtyard, everything exhausted. And him? Who was he with tonight?
Concubine Song or Concubine Luo?
Madam Ji actually found it all meaningless. It was normal for men to have multiple wives and concubines—she could endure it. But when their affection had faded to this extent, when Gu Dezhao had spent all these years suspecting her of harming Yun Xiang, and then spent more years doubting her schemes against Concubine Song for favor...
It was truly enough.
She was already burnt out, unable to endure any longer, and too weary to contend.
She didn't want to drag Jinchao down with her suffering, nor did she want Jinrong to keep believing Gu Lan and Song Miaohua.
Even more, she didn't want to live on enduring Gu Dezhao's indifference and suspicion.
Madam Ji took one last deep breath, slowly raised her hand to wipe the tear stains from her face, then groped toward the corner of the bed.
The night was windy, and heavy rain fell by midnight, only easing toward dawn.
Jinchao slept soundly, undisturbed by the rain. She was awakened by Qingpu. When she opened her eyes, still groggy, she could only hear the occasional patter of rain outside. Beyond the lattice window, it was still dark—dawn had not yet broken.
It took Jinchao a long time to fully wake. Half-asleep, she asked Qingpu, "...What time is it?"
But Qingpu looked on the verge of tears. "Eldest Miss, you must get up quickly! This is urgent—rise first, then we'll talk!" Outside, Caifu entered holding a water-green ruqun embroidered with bird-of-paradise flowers, while Baiyun carried a copper basin. Behind them was Moyu, her face deathly pale.
Seeing Moyu present too, Jinchao was puzzled. "...Why is Moyu here? Does Mother need me?"
Moyu shook her head, her expression grave. "Eldest Miss, please hurry to Xixiao Courtyard... Madam has passed!"
The sky had just begun to lighten, still hazy and indistinct.
Jinchao arrived at Xixiao Courtyard with her maids, her face utterly expressionless.Under the covered corridor of Xiexiao Courtyard, Mama Xu was waiting for Gu Jinzhao to arrive.
Her eyes were red and swollen, and her voice was thick with congestion when she spoke: "...Eldest Miss, you've come."
Jinzhao looked at her and heard herself ask with eerie calmness, "Mama Xu, where is Mother? Did she pass from illness last night?"
Mama Xu took a deep breath and whispered, "...Come and see for yourself first." She turned and walked toward the inner chamber.
Jinzhao followed her inside and froze the moment she saw Madam Ji's corpse, her eyes widening in shock.
Madam Ji's body hung from the carved red-lacquered bedpost, a belt tightened around her neck. Her head was tilted to the side, her body twisted, her entire form deathly pale.
Mother hadn't died of illness—she had taken her own life! She had hanged herself like this!
Jinzhao felt as though she couldn't breathe, her chest constricted by something suffocating, the agony making her tremble uncontrollably.
She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. Dazed, she reached out and clutched Mama Xu's sleeve. "Mama Xu, Mother is dead... she's really dead..." she murmured.
Mama Xu had never seen Gu Jinzhao like this before. Her own eyes reddened as she grasped Jinzhao's hand in return. "Eldest Miss, you... Madam, she..."
On the way here, Jinzhao had clung to the illusion that this couldn't be real—how could Mother have died just like that? She had even wondered if she was trapped in a nightmare, dreaming that Moyu had told her Mother was dead.
But it was true. Mother was gone. She had abandoned her, abandoned Jinrong! She had truly grown weary of living, choosing to die like this!
Jinzhao finally broke down into loud, wrenching sobs. Like a child, she clung tightly to Mama Xu's sleeve, her legs giving way beneath her as she collapsed to the floor, crying so hard she could barely breathe.
Why had Mother died like this? She had wanted nothing more than for Mother to live well. She had even invited Mr. Xiao for her—why hadn't Mother waited for him? Why, despite all her efforts to care for her, had Mother still been so heartbroken, so despairing, that she chose to hang herself?
Now that Mother was gone, who would tie beautiful Chinese knots for her? Who would craft gold filigree hair ornaments for her? Who would hold her close and lovingly call her "my Chaojie"? Who would never scold her, no matter what she did?
Yesterday, Mother had clutched the hem of her skirt, watching her intently. Even as Jinzhao walked away, Mother had called her back, just to look at her one more time.
She must have already decided then that she didn’t want to live anymore. That had been her final farewell!
Why hadn’t she realized it then? Why hadn’t she held Mother’s hand and stayed with her through the night?
Mama Xu hurriedly pulled her up. Jinzhao’s body was limp, as though all strength had left her.
Seeing Jinzhao so distraught, Mama Xu couldn’t hold back her own tears. "How could Madam have been so desperate... to leave like this? What will you do? What will the young master do? Even if she had truly lost all hope in the master... she shouldn’t have—shouldn’t have died like this!"
Gu Jinzhao stared blankly at Mama Xu, as though it took her a long moment to process her words.
Then she seized Mama Xu’s hand and asked, "Mama Xu, did Mother say anything to you last night?"
Mama Xu wept uncontrollably. "Last night... last night, Madam told me she had argued with the master. I thought I must have misheard. But now, thinking back, it must have been something the master said to her that drove her to this...""Eldest Miss, you don't understand. The master has been distancing himself from the mistress all these years, harboring deep misunderstandings. That incident with the dog—it was clearly Concubine Song who harmed the mistress, yet the master insisted it was the mistress making trouble, saying she was always stirring up drama and dragging you into it. The master has long suspected the mistress of harming Yun Xiang, and now with Yu Ping's testimony... he's bound to break all ties with the mistress for Yun Xiang's sake. After suffering such humiliation, the mistress must feel life isn't worth living anymore."
PS:
As promised, here's the second update.
Also, after all these years, this author remains fragile-hearted. Seeing such comments is exhausting and love-depleting! Dear readers who wish to drop this story, please leave quietly—no need to leave messages that might send this author leaping off buildings in sorrow~
Actually, the plot must unfold this way—this turning point is crucial. Once we pass this point, if there's any more angst, I'll offer my head on a platter~ After dealing with these troublemakers at home, the satisfying revenge arc will begin!
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