Chapter 3: Mother
Caifu picked out a crimson embroidered jacket and skirt with diamond patterns for Jinchao to wear. Jinchao found it too bright and said, "Mother is ill. How can I wear such vivid colors and patterns? Find me something more subdued. And no gold or silver hairpins—just a mutton-fat jade hairpin will do."
Caifu was puzzled. The young mistress had never favored understated styles, always dressing in vibrant hues no matter the occasion. She didn’t even own many plain garments. Nonetheless, she complied and searched for a long time before finding a pale purple jacket and skirt embroidered with branch patterns. After helping her mistress change, she styled her hair into a small bun.
Her mother’s residence wasn’t far from Paulownia Courtyard, but the heavy snow made the walk feel long. After what seemed like ages, they finally spotted Mama Xu standing by the steps of Oblique Clouds Courtyard, scolding a young maid. Mama Xu was her mother’s wet nurse, having accompanied her from the Ji family as part of her dowry. Among the servants, she held a high status.
Mama Xu ushered Jinchao inside, helped her remove her cloak, and shook off the snow before saying, "Eldest Miss, you’re unwell yourself. What are you doing out in this weather? What if you catch a chill?" Having watched Jinchao grow up, she spoke with affectionate familiarity.
Jinchao quickly glanced past the covered walkway into the courtyard. The winter plum blossoms were in full bloom, clusters of red crowding together, while holly bushes lined the bluestone path. The curtains in her mother’s room were drawn, and two maids sat by the door doing needlework.
Mama Xu then turned to Caifu. "...And you didn’t take better care of the young mistress!"
Caifu murmured an apology—how could she have stopped her mistress from doing as she pleased? Jinchao interjected, "I insisted on coming. How has Mother been these past few days? Have you been attending to her?"
Mama Xu escorted Gu Jinchao forward. The two maids stood and bowed. Jinchao faintly recalled one was named Pinlan and the other Pinmei—her mother’s second-tier maids. Mama Xu said, "Moyu, Mo Xue, and I have been taking turns caring for her. The concubines visit often as well, with Song Yiniang coming the most frequently. Right now, Guo Yiniang is inside with Fourth Miss. The madam is much the same as before—asleep most of the time, and listless when awake. But at least her coughing isn’t as severe, so don’t worry too much, Eldest Miss..."
The room was warm, with two braziers burning brightly. Past the screen, a lacquered daybed inlaid with mother-of-pearl stood by the window, and a dark brown velvet rug embroidered with the "Five Bats Offering Longevity" motif covered the floor. Guo Yiniang and a girl of about seven or eight sat on stools. They rose when they saw her. The delicate, porcelain-skinned girl, dressed in a pea-green jacket and skirt, timidly curtsied. "Eldest Sister." Her eyes were the spitting image of Guo Yiniang’s.
This was her fourth sister, Gu Xi, who had feared her since childhood. When Gu Xi was five, Jinchao had bullied her and even pushed her into a vase. Though she wasn’t seriously hurt, she had since been too afraid to even breathe loudly in Jinchao’s presence. Her mother, too, was the meekest among the concubines.
Gu Xi and her third sister, Gu Yi, had been raised under their mother’s care and lived together in Bamboo Leaning Pavilion.
But Jinchao smiled and gently steadied her. "No need for formalities, Fourth Sister."
The most timid mother and daughter were also the kindest. Later, when Jinchao fell from grace, Guo Yiniang had even visited her at the Chen family.
Jinchao took another step forward and saw her mother’s eyes open, watching her. Propped up halfway, she was wrapped in a brocade quilt embroidered with cloud patterns. Illness had left her cheeks gaunt and pale, but her delicate beauty remained.Moyu, who was keeping watch in the room, quickly brought her a stool. Jinchao grasped her mother's bony hand, and as she looked at her gentle expression, a flood of emotions surged in her heart.
Concubine Guo and Gu Xi, seeing Jinchao arrive, excused themselves and left.
Noticing Jinchao's prolonged silence, her mother smiled softly and whispered, "My Jinchao is like a silly child, staring at her mother without end..."
Gu Jinzhao couldn't hold back her tears. She called out "Mother" and buried her head in her hands.
Her mother's hands felt like warm silk, never fading with the passage of time.
Yet, Gu Jinzhao was overwhelmed by memories of how unfilial she had been in her past life, failing to fulfill her duties before her mother's death.
In life, her mother had been preoccupied with managing the household affairs and dealing with the concubines, leaving little time to discipline her children. But her mother had always been the kindest to her. The mere fact that she could see her again was enough for Jinchao. To return and see her mother once more before her death left her with no regrets.
Her mother lifted her head, speaking weakly due to exhaustion, "Jinchao, how did you fall ill?"
Gu Jinzhao hesitated, unsure how to explain that her illness stemmed from hearing that the Seventh Young Master of the Chen Family was attending the Duke's flower banquet and her desperate desire to see him. But this news hadn't reached her directly—it was her half-sister Gu Lan who had told her.
Her father had three concubines, among whom Concubine Song Miaohua was of the highest birth. Originally the legitimate daughter of the Vice Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices, she was exceptionally beautiful and most favored by her father. Moreover, Concubine Song was highly skilled in social graces, so much so that even the past-life Gu Jinzhao had adored her.
Concubine Song had a daughter, the Second Miss of the Gu Family, Gu Lan, who was clever and quick-witted. In her past life, Gu Jinzhao had been very close to her.
Yet, Gu Jinzhao had never realized the depths of Concubine Song's ruthless ambition.
Half a year after her mother's death, Concubine Song gave birth to a son and was elevated to the status of the legitimate wife.
It was clear that the child must have been conceived while her mother was gravely ill, during which Concubine Song had been tending to her day and night. Somehow, during that time, she had managed to climb into her father's bed, conceived a child, and after giving birth, the child was recognized as the legitimate heir. Such cunning was truly formidable.
At the time, Chen Xuanqing's grand wedding had taken place, and Gu Jinzhao's attention had been entirely fixated on her beloved, so she hadn't noticed anything amiss. It wasn't until Chen Xuanqing's father, Chen Yanyun, came to propose marriage that she realized.
Initially, Gu Jinzhao had been hesitant, but it was Gu Lan's persuasion that ultimately convinced her to marry into the Chen Family.
Gu Lan had said, "Elder Sister, whom you marry matters little. If you marry into another family, you'll never see the one you love again. But if you marry into the Chen Family, won't you be able to see him often? I truly have your best interests at heart, Elder Sister. You must think carefully."
Gu Jinzhao had been deeply moved, believing she had such a caring younger sister. But now, upon reflection, she realized Gu Lan must have long understood her temperament—knowing that marrying into the Chen Family would lead to no good end!
Gu Jinzhao had been spoiled and willful. How could she endure seeing her beloved being intimate with another woman right before her eyes?
After her marriage, the Gu Family was left entirely under Concubine Song's control. To ensure her own young son inherited the family estate, she neglected Gu Jinrong's upbringing, allowing him to indulge in wine and women.One day, Gu Jinrong went with several young masters to visit a famous actor and engaged in improper conduct with young boys. When their father found out, he flew into a rage and caned Jinrong as punishment. From then on, Jinrong became dispirited, failing repeatedly in the imperial examinations and never attaining the rank of jinshi.
With her status as the legitimate daughter, Gu Lan eventually married the Assistant State General as his principal wife, receiving nearly half of the Gu family's assets as her dowry. After marriage, she gave birth to a legitimate eldest son.
After their father's death, Concubine Song claimed that Jinrong had offended his father's concubines due to his excessive indulgence in wormwood, and thus expelled him from the family.
What happened afterward, Gu Jinzhao did not know—these were merely things she had heard.
Thinking of what Concubine Song and Gu Lan had done to them, Jinzhao couldn't help but feel furious. She also hated herself for being so reckless and careless. Her mother's death had not awakened her; instead, it had plunged both her and her younger brother into an abyss!
She raised her head and smiled faintly, "Daughter merely caught a chill. Mother need not worry."
Her mother frowned slightly, "I heard from Baiyun by your side that you attended the flower gathering at the Duke Dingguo's residence?"
Jinzhao didn’t want her mother to dwell on it too much. Her illness was severe, and excessive worry would harm her health.
"I only wanted to relax, but it was too cold that day, and the plum blossoms barely bloomed. I returned with a slight headache, but it’s already much better now. Since I’ve already paid my respects, Mother mustn’t worry anymore." She then beckoned to Moyu beside her, "Has Mother’s medicine been decocted?"
Moyu, with her delicate features and twin buns, replied, "It’s ready. Mama Xu said she’ll bring it over once it cools."
Jinzhao said, "Go fetch it now." As Moyu left to bring the medicine, only the mother and daughter remained in the room. Her mother then said, "I’ve often seen you on good terms with Gu Lan and know you’re fond of this younger sister, but one must always be wary… Though Concubine Song attends to me daily, I dare not trust her." Here, her mother coughed, and Jinzhao quickly patted her back to soothe her.
Her mother grasped her hand, her gaze gentle, "...I know my own body—illness strikes like a collapsing mountain. If anything should happen to me in the future… you must raise your younger brother well. If it becomes too difficult, seek out your maternal grandmother. She has always doted on you the most…"
Jinzhao’s eyes reddened again. Her mother understood everything, yet in her past life, she had heeded none of it!
Her mother smiled again, wiping her tears, "You’re usually so cheerful—why are you crying so much today? Whenever I spoke of these things before, you never listened, always turning to Lan Er instead… Enough now, the maids will see you in a moment."
Jinzhao also felt her emotions had become more volatile since her return.
After years without seeing her mother and recalling her past actions, everything seemed utterly absurd.
When Moyu brought the medicine, Jinzhao took it, blowing on it gently before feeding it to her mother. Afterward, she served her a small plate of Yunzi Sesame Leaf Dough Cake. She chatted with her mother a while longer until her mother grew weary and slowly fell asleep against the large bolster.
Though the room was warmed by a charcoal brazier, Jinzhao found her mother’s hand still as cold as ice and asked Moyu to bring in a hand warmer for her.
If she could stay here forever, she would surely protect her mother and younger brother.
Gazing at her mother’s gaunt, sallow face, Jinzhao silently resolved—she must stay.
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