Chapter 153: Resentment
After returning to the study, Ji Wu Shi took a deep breath, her chest heaving heavily. Madam Zhao had recounted how Ji Yao had met her and how their illicit affair had begun. She also mentioned that after their encounter, Ji Yao had given her two hundred taels of silver. Because she had conceived a child and couldn’t bear to abort it, she had found a place to live and raised the child herself.
Mama Song looked at Ji Wu Shi with concern, wanting to step forward and support her.
Ji Wu Shi brushed her hand away and said in a low voice, "Go... go and summon the Second Young Master for me!"
She wanted to get to the bottom of this—had Ji Yao truly committed such disgraceful acts? Did he really think he could pretend nothing had happened and still marry Jinchao?
Ji Yao was called over from the Immortal Crossing Pavilion by Mama Song. Seeing her grave expression, he frowned in confusion. "Mama Song, what’s so urgent...?" His thoughts turned to Gu Jinchao, and a trace of worry flickered in his eyes. "Could it be something happened to Cousin Jinchao...?"
Mama Song sighed softly. "Second Young Master, how could you have done something so foolish? When Tai Furen questions you later, don’t defy her. Speak properly—there’s nothing that can’t be resolved..."
Ji Yao’s frown deepened. "What do you mean by that, Mama Song?"
Mama Song hesitated before saying, "Second Young Master... do you have a child outside?"
The moment Ji Yao stepped into the study, Ji Wu Shi barked sharply, "Kneel down!"
There was no smoke without fire. Ji Wu Shi knew that if there wasn’t any truth to it, this Madam Zhao wouldn’t have come knocking on their door with a child in tow.
Ji Yao clenched his jaw and remained silent.
Ji Wu Shi slowly walked up to him, staring down at this grandson of hers, kneeling before her with his back straight and unyielding. A chill seeped into her heart—he had always been this stubborn since childhood. Her voice was icy. "Tell me, were you close with Luo Tai?"
Ji Yao’s expression remained calm. "Yes, three years ago."
Ji Wu Shi sneered. "At least you’re honest about that. Then explain yourself properly. When you were with Luo Tai, did you spend your days idling around, racing horses and fighting eagles? Did you frequent the entertainment quarters and have an affair with one of the girls there, leaving behind a child?" Suddenly, realization dawned on her, and she continued, "No wonder... I always wondered how you could play Backgammon, Pai Gow, and dice so skillfully without ever having learned them before..." She nodded repeatedly, laughing bitterly. "You’ve been colluding with Luo Tai behind my back all along! How could you associate yourself with that good-for-nothing Luo Tai!"
When Ji Yao heard Mama Song’s words earlier, he knew the truth about the past could no longer be hidden—and he had no intention of hiding it.
He had indeed made mistakes back then, but the child was not one of them.
No matter how reckless he had been, he would never have left a child outside.
Ji Yao said quietly, "I was fifteen at the time... The first time you asked me if I wanted to marry Cousin Jinchao, I said no, and your face darkened. That was the first time I understood your will—you wanted me to marry her. At that moment, I felt deeply uncomfortable. Cousin Jinchao is your granddaughter, but am I not your grandson as well? I was resentful... But I didn’t seek out Luo Tai. He came to me."
He smiled faintly. "I remembered how you always forbade us from associating with the Luo family. Back then, I was desperate to defy you, so I started spending time with Luo Tai... But I knew my limits. I never touched those women. Until one day, Luo Tai slipped something into my drink. It was only that one time..."Before he could finish speaking, Ji Wu Shi slapped him across the face.
Ji Yao's head snapped to the side, a red mark quickly rising on his cheek.
Ji Wu Shi felt as if her heart was being torn apart. She had forgotten that extremes lead to reversals—she had been too harsh in controlling Ji Yao, and even a rabbit would bite when cornered. But what kind of reason was this...? He didn’t want to marry Gu Jinzhao, so he ended up mixing with Luo Tai?
Who exactly was he trying to take revenge on—himself? Or her, his grandmother?
Ji Wu Shi had always been a strong-willed woman, but now tears streamed down her aged face. "You’re utterly shameless... You—you’re about to be engaged to your cousin, and at this very moment, you tell me you have a child out there! If they hadn’t come knocking, would you have hidden this for the rest of your life?"
Ji Yao closed his eyes and remained silent. His lips were pale.
He had done it—he admitted his mistake! Back then, he was only fifteen, too young to distinguish right from wrong. He had been pushed to the brink by Ji Wu Shi. Among the Ji family descendants, Ji Yun could focus on his studies, Ji Can could do as he pleased without a care. But him? He had to bear the weight of the entire Ji family—fine, but why did he also have to shoulder Gu Jinzhao’s marriage for her, to make up for her failures in raising Gu Jinzhao?
He was just too resentful!
After a long silence, Ji Yao finally spoke. "Grandmother, though I did have an affair with that woman back then... I never left behind any child. No matter how reckless I was, I wouldn’t have given Luo Tai such leverage. You must believe me—this child truly isn’t mine..."
Ji Wu Shi laughed bitterly in anger. "That child... looks just like you when you were little, and you still dare say it’s not yours?"
She ordered Mama Song to bring the child in.
The child struggled incessantly, crying pitifully for its mother and refusing to be held by Mama Song, its small face drenched in tears.
Ji Yao stared at the child’s features, which bore some resemblance to his own, and was momentarily speechless.
Ji Wu Shi lowered her voice. "At first glance, I thought the child resembled Chun Ge'er, and assumed it was Ji Yun’s illegitimate offspring. Never did I imagine it would be yours... How could you be so foolish? You’re the one who must uphold the Ji family in the future—this entire household—"
Her words trailed off as if she had run out of breath.
After a long pause, she sighed weakly. "...This is my fault too."
She had lived her life with unyielding strength and had demanded the same from her eldest grandson. Had she been more flexible, perhaps none of this would have happened...
Ji Yao took a deep breath before murmuring, "Grandmother, don’t say that... This is all your grandson’s wrongdoing. How could it be blamed on you...?"
But Ji Wu Shi merely waved her hand, as if she had exhausted all her energy, and could only say, "Leave for now..."
She had always believed that being strict with Ji Yao was for his own good, but now she realized she had been gravely mistaken. What kind of person was her Ji Yao, really? Suddenly, she wasn’t sure anymore... She had raised Chaojie to be like that, and now Ji Yao had turned out this way...
Ji Yao finally rose from the floor, glanced at Ji Wu Shi, and walked out of the study. Just as he reached the door, he heard her say, "...First, go inform the Countess of Yongyang. The engagement must be postponed for now."
Ji Yao closed his eyes briefly before responding softly in acknowledgment.Ji Wu Shi said to Mama Song, "That Madam Zhao, since she has come to the Ji family, we can't simply let her leave. Have the child looked after by the elder daughter-in-law for now. Say it's a child sent from the Wu family to be fostered. As for Madam Zhao, send her to me."
After receiving the instructions, Mama Song went to carry them out, leaving Ji Wu Shi alone in the study. She covered her face and wept quietly.
Since the death of Old Master Ji, she had never felt such overwhelming grief. The two children she loved most had both strayed from the path under her guidance—she who had wanted nothing but the best for them... What was to be done about Chaojie? What kind of person was Ji Yao, really?
And what of that child? What was to become of it?
When the child was handed over to the elder aunt, Mama Song explained the child's origins to Song Shi, who turned pale: "This child... is truly Yao-ge's...?"
Mama Song nodded. "If anyone asks, say it's a child sent from the Wu family to be fostered. Tai Furen has ordered that this matter must not spread."
The elder aunt understood, of course. But Ji Yao was her son, raised under her watch—how could he have done something so disgraceful? She murmured, "This child is truly beyond reason... He's about to marry his cousin, and now this happens!"
She couldn't help but recall Ji Yao's radiant smile when he had come to tell her he wanted to marry Gu Jinzhao. A chill ran through her heart.
Mama Song also sighed quietly.
She returned to the eastern courtyard.
Ji Wu Shi had just received an urgent letter from Gu Jinzhao, in which Jinchao explained the situation in detail, including Madam Zhao's connection to the Luo family. After reading it, Ji Wu Shi set the letter aside on the Heated Bed Table and gazed thoughtfully at the sky beyond the Lattice Window.
When Mama Song entered and saw Ji Wu Shi lost in thought, she asked hesitantly, "Tai Furen, what is it...?"
Ji Wu Shi pointed to the letter, indicating she should read it herself.
Mama Song read it word by word.
Ji Wu Shi said, "This child... perhaps we truly can't blame Ji Yao... He must have been on guard at the time. Young and inexperienced, there are countless ways a woman can become pregnant—he fell into Luo Tai's trap..." His downfall lay in matters of romance; Ji Yao knew nothing of such things.
Mama Song put the letter away and asked, "If that's the case, then you shouldn't blame the Second Young Master too harshly. In my humble opinion, it would be best to act as if this child never existed—no one else knows of this matter. And the engagement with the young mistress shouldn't be delayed..."
Ji Wu Shi gave a bitter smile. "You're thinking too simply. This marriage likely cannot proceed."
Mama Song was puzzled. "Haven't you always hoped for the Second Young Master to marry the young mistress?"
Ji Wu Shi glanced at the letter in her hand and said calmly, "Setting aside Ji Yao for now, look at this letter from Chaojie—does it contain even the slightest hint of affection for Ji Yao? On the contrary, I sense she has no desire to marry him. It was my wish, combined with the Gu family's insistence, that she couldn't refuse. I don't want to force this child... Think again about how this letter came to be. Chaojie is a young lady of the inner chambers. If Ji Yao could hide this even from me, how could Chaojie have found out?"
Mama Song looked at Ji Wu Shi.Ji Wu Shi continued, "There must be someone else behind this. Luo Tai wanted to use the child to threaten us—why would he easily let Madam Zhao bring the child here to confront us? Yet someone made it happen. The Wu family is far in Jiangnan. Even if someone knew they were my maternal relatives, who could easily obtain their name card? Madam Zhao is just a performer—where would she get the Wu family's name card?"
"If this person wanted to target the Ji family, why not make a public scene instead of secretly sending Madam Zhao? And why did they tell Chaojie about these matters? Think carefully—hasn’t this person been protecting Chaojie at every turn?"
Mama Song realized it was indeed so but remained puzzled, "Then who is this person... why would they protect the young mistress?"
Ji Wu Shi shook her head. "I don’t know either, but having someone like this shielding Chaojie is no small matter. Chaojie has grown increasingly sensible and mature, yet she’s kept many things from me—at the very least, she never mentioned this person in her letters... The waters here run too deep for an old woman like me to fathom."
Gazing at the flickering candlelight, Ji Wu Shi murmured, "Keeping these matters hidden and letting Chaojie marry into this situation—what will she do? How will she face that child... I’ve always trusted Ji Yao, but after this incident, I’m no longer certain. He once despised Chaojie to such an extent—would he truly treat her well after marrying her? If their temperaments clash, won’t they end up causing even more trouble?"
She had been too domineering all her life, always imposing what she thought was best on her children. She no longer wanted to interfere in Ji Yao’s marriage or force the two together. She would simply wait and see what Ji Yao would do—she could only fulfill her own responsibilities.
...After all, she was growing old.
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