It was still in the small visiting room.
Outside, the sun was bright and beautiful. As Pei Chuan wheeled his chair over, she stood there in the late summer and early autumn season, smiling brightly at him.
Pei Chuan admitted that for a moment, his breath caught.
She wore a white silk long-sleeved top, paired with a simple pair of shorts. Her jade-like legs were long, slender, and fair. He was a man now, no longer the little boy who used to draw a boundary line between them when they shared a desk.
The first time he had a wet dream, it was of her—a girl in his dreams weeping and whimpering softly. When he woke up, the daylight was already bright, leaving Pei Chuan with nothing but pain and despair.
Sometimes he hated this male instinct—why had it taken away his healthy legs but not diminished his ugly desires?
He had always regarded her with the purest affection, rarely tainted by lust. Just watching her from afar, he could love her for a lifetime.
But seeing Bei Yao like this, he realized for the first time that it wasn’t enough.
Bei Yao tilted her head. Truthfully, she felt a little shy, but after Pei Chuan’s dazed reaction, his face turned pale, and she grew anxious.
Clearly… others didn’t react this way. Was she not pretty?
This time, Pei Chuan spoke first. He asked, "Yao Yao, have you been doing well lately?"
She nodded, brimming with pure happiness, and pulled a small stool over to sit beside him. "Very well. The moonlight flowers at B University have bloomed, Bei Jun has grown a lot taller, and he writes to me every month."
The only thing not well was that she couldn’t see him often.
Pei Chuan was silent for a moment. "Have you met any other boys you’ve been drawn to?"
She was taken aback. Although she had understood long ago that Pei Chuan was leaving her a way out, this was the first time he had spoken so bluntly.
Bei Yao felt a surge of anger. She bit her lip and asked, "What do you mean?"
Pei Chuan didn’t avoid her gaze. Looking into her eyes, he said, "Six years is a long time. I haven’t been good to you. When you were cold or hungry, I wasn’t by your side. Yao Yao, when you take physiology classes, you’ll understand that as you grow up, desires emerge. Men and women are drawn to each other. You’ve waited for me for so long—you’ve done nothing to wrong me. It’s me who hasn’t had the chance to treat you well. If there’s someone you like, and he treats you well…"
Bei Yao was so angry she felt dazed. She had dressed up beautifully to see him, and here he was, telling her that as people grow up, whether male or female, they have desires, and what would happen if she liked someone else.
Embarrassed and furious, she interrupted him, "If I like someone else, should I just sleep with him?" She had never spoken such blunt, shameful words before, but this time, Pei Chuan had truly infuriated her. Why couldn’t he believe that she had grown up? Why couldn’t he trust her sincerity?
His face turned pale, and he snapped angrily, "Yao Yao! You know very well that’s not what I meant."
She was beyond angry. "That’s exactly what you meant! You always think I should like someone else."
Bei Yao still remembered Qin Dongni whispering to her, how she had thought Pei Chuan would be overjoyed to see her. Before coming, she had secretly looked forward to his reaction, but now he had nearly made her cry.
Bei Yao had never argued with Pei Chuan before—this was the first time. Afraid that the joy of seeing him would turn to tears, she gritted her teeth, stood up, and prepared to leave.
He was the worst, the one who hurt her the most.
Holding back tears and suppressing the shame in her heart, she stood up to leave.
The next moment, someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her into an embrace. The man held her tightly, his fingers gripping so hard they turned pale.He held the furious girl in his tight embrace, restraining her: "That's not what I meant."
Sitting on his lap, wrapped securely in his arms, her tears threatened to fall but didn't. Two years had passed, and only in this moment did she feel truly aggrieved.
Pei Chuan whispered softly, "I was wrong. I shouldn't have said those words. I'm sorry. Don't go, please don't go."
Every time he saw her, he had to wait through countless days and nights. She represented nearly all his hopes and expectations. For this single meeting, Pei Chuan could endure endless loneliness.
He never wanted to upset her - heaven knew how desperately he wished to treat her well.
Yet there were many things she couldn't confront directly, which remained festering wounds in his heart.
Bei Yao couldn't bear to leave either. Each time she saw him, she had waited just as long. Their meetings were too precious to waste on arguments. With a girlish nasal tone, she said, "I'll forgive you this time, but don't ever say such things again, or I won't forgive you next time."
He murmured, "Okay."
Only then did she extend her delicate arms to wrap around his neck, nuzzling her small head against his shoulder. "Why do you have to be so infuriating."He pressed his lips together without responding, gently stroking her hair with unspoken cherishment and sorrow that she couldn't comprehend."
When he softly kissed her hair, Bei Yao felt ticklish and broke into a smile through her tears.
Yet her curiosity eventually surfaced: "Why were you so upset earlier?"
Pei Chuan rarely showed anger around her - he was exceptionally accommodating. If he spoke hurtful words, it must have touched upon some sensitive nerve.
Pei Chuan didn't want to deceive her, yet he could never bring himself to discuss his flaws and desires in her presence.
He remained silent.
After some thought, Bei Yao whispered, "If you don't like how I'm dressed, if you think it doesn't look good, I won't wear it anymore."
His throat felt dry as he replied softly, "No, it looks beautiful."
Still innocent at heart, she forgot the earlier unpleasantness upon receiving the compliment and said joyfully, "You're beautiful too." Not forgetting to add, "The most beautiful."
He smiled, his heart overflowing with affection he couldn't express.
His praise came from genuine appreciation, while her view of him was clouded by emotion. In his current destitute state, he hardly deserved to be called beautiful by the young girl.
Pei Chuan would never impose his circumstances as requirements for her.
Everyone only gets one youth. Though he couldn't accompany her through the storms of adolescence, he hoped she could live her own life without constraints because of him.
This was the first time he held her like this. The man's chest was broad - even two years of imprisonment couldn't erase the effects of years of boxing training.
His muscular frame held her as they sat together in the wheelchair.
Truth be told, Bei Yao found it somewhat novel.
She wasn't one to hold grudges or anger easily. Once her anger passed, she embraced life's joys even more warmly.
This man was sensitive. When she had seen him in a wheelchair as a child, he had been displeased. Now, holding her while sitting together in his wheelchair represented a significant concession for him.
Burying her face in his chest, she suppressed her delighted and bashful smile.
When the "visiting time" ended, Bei Yao had to leave.
Watching her graceful figure disappear from view, Pei Chuan felt indescribable worry for the first time.
~
Cheng Zhenghai asked: "Pei Chuan, something on your mind?"
"No.""Come on, kid, we've been together day and night for almost three years now, and today you paused your coding over ten times. Don't treat me like an outsider—the mistakes I made were far worse than yours, and I still have over a decade to serve in here. I won't go blabbing your little secrets to the world. Let me calculate—you're getting out next year, right? This is already your third year."
It was currently "recreation time," and Pei Chuan didn't usually enjoy interacting with others. But today, burdened by heavy thoughts, he looked at this senior who had been imprisoned for his daughter and said, "I'm afraid I can't give her a future."
Cheng Zhenghai replied, "That's not the way to look at it. Think about it—we're in biochemistry; we'll never be truly poor. And you? You're in electronics and software development. The future belongs to the information age. With a mind like yours, you're practically a walking gold mine—you could build a golden house for your little girl. Plus, you're skilled in technology; once you're out, you'll undoubtedly be a scientist."
Seeing Pei Chuan remain silent, Cheng Zhenghai continued, "Look at today's college students—what do they know besides book knowledge? To become scientists, they have to finish undergrad, then pursue master's and doctoral degrees, constantly publishing papers and achieving academic results before they're worthy of the title. But you? Four years of hands-on experience. You know how much you've created, and so does the nation. Once you're out, you'll be in a completely different league compared to your peers."
Pei Chuan glanced at him, gritted his teeth, but ultimately said nothing.
The main issue was that to marry someone and build a life together, there had to be... a physical relationship. He could offer her the purest love and cherish her for a lifetime, but for him, taking off his clothes was harder than facing death.
The shadows of childhood loomed over him—a small boy sitting outside the door, listening as his mother and father argued in the room. He had heard with his own ears the fear in the voice of the woman closest to him when she mentioned his severed limb.
Pei Chuan was a piece of Jiang Wenjuan's flesh and blood. If even she, his own mother, was afraid and disgusted by him, how could Yao Yao feel any different?
At four years old, Pei Chuan had believed Jiang Wenjuan's words: eat well, sleep well, be a brave boy who doesn't cry, and when you grow up, your leg will grow back, and you'll be whole again. But as he got a little older, he understood—this was how he would be for the rest of his life.
He could practice boxing, build muscle and physique, but the severed limb would still atrophy and look unsightly, even with daily massage.
He himself found it repulsive to look at—how could he show it to a beautiful, innocent girl?
Yao Yao didn't understand these things, and Old Cheng, as a normal, able-bodied man, had never faced such concerns with his wife. So neither of them could grasp his struggle and pain.
But today, when Pei Chuan saw Bei Yao, aside from being struck by her beauty, he was flooded with the chaotic, sensual dreams of his youth and the profound shame that followed upon waking.
To marry someone meant taking responsibility for their entire life. Sometimes, love alone wasn't enough.
Yet, who could he possibly confide these thoughts in? In the end, he had to endure the agony of a dull knife cutting through flesh alone.
Pei Chuan couldn't let go, but a responsible man wouldn't only think of immediate benefits and pleasures.
This was also why he had never touched Bei Yao.
If she ever realized he couldn't even give her a normal life, she would see how wretched he truly was. The more he loved, the more he worried—even fearing the slightest hint of aversion in her gaze.Pei Chuan often thought to himself, if only she weren't so beautiful and perfect. She possessed exquisite features and a youthful, alluring figure. This made him feel worlds apart from her—their inherent conditions were simply mismatched.
Normal people wouldn't understand.
Those who did understand could never explain it to outsiders.
In the end, only Old Master Cheng believed he had successfully persuaded the young man. Cheng Zhenghai genuinely held high hopes for this youth. Pei Chuan could handle virtually any type of software development—once he grasped one concept, he mastered them all. Whatever he didn't understand, he would study relentlessly.
One thing "Seventh Prison" had that surpassed all outside universities was its exceptional physics professors, biochemical software resources, and even disciples of former researchers who had worked on hydrogen bombs.
Every one of them, if released, would be considered top talent—industry giants who had made correctable mistakes.
Someone like Pei Chuan, once out—oh, that would be extraordinary. A future scientist in the making. With his coding skills, wealth would come effortlessly.
One day later, Cheng Zhenghai recalled something important: "Pei Chuan, does that young lady of yours know how capable you are?"
Ahem... the kind of capability that could generate insane amounts of money.
Pei Chuan's expression remained cool as his thin lips calmly uttered three words: "She doesn't know."
Cheng Zhenghai had asked casually but didn't expect such a surprising answer.
Old Master Cheng widened his eyes: "Then does she know you can be released next year?" Surely she at least knows she won't have to wait too long!
Pei Chuan fell silent for a moment: "She thinks it's still six years away."
"..."
Cheng Zhenghai didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "You rascal."
How to put this? Whose precious gem is that girl? Completely unaware of everything—does she also think, like outsiders, that Pei Chuan will emerge as a penniless young man? Oh, and the kind with a prison record that makes finding employment difficult.
Plus foolishly believing she still has to wait six years for him.
Pei Chuan, aren't you afraid that when you suddenly get released, she'll be angry about your deception and dump you?
Moreover, willingly waiting for a "penniless ex-con for six years"—what kind of treasure did Pei Chuan manage to find!
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