Chapter 214: My Name
He Yan set out early to find someone at Changmao Ironworks. As for the chaos that would ensue after her departure, she trusted Chi Wu would soothe Qingmei. Having been there once before, she now knew the way and made the journey much more smoothly.
However, she had not anticipated that guests would visit her home today.
When Xiao Jue arrived at the He residence, there was no one home. Qingmei was not there, Chi Wu was not there, and He Yan was certainly not there either. The gate of the He household was tightly shut, looking even more dilapidated than before, almost like an abandoned old house with no occupants.
Earlier, Xiao Jing and Bai Rongwei had visited once. After returning home, Bai Rongwei had tactfully suggested whether they should find another residence for the He family. Xiao Jue had refused. Although it was not a difficult matter, given He Yan’s temperament, she would likely spout nonsense like “one should not accept rewards without merit.” Emperor Wenxuan was also a ruler detached from the hardships of common life—he had conferred a marquis title but bestowed no residence, and even her salary had been withheld for a year. However, back in the Liangzhou Guard, He Yan had received some silver as a reward, which should have been enough to temporarily secure another house.
The street where He Yan and her family lived was populated by ordinary households. During the day, everyone went out to work or labor, so it was not like the previous night when everyone had gathered to watch. With no one home, Xiao Jue pondered for a moment before deciding to leave. Just as he turned around, he bumped into someone.
The person was startled to see Xiao Jue. “Commander Xiao, what are you doing here?”
It was actually Jiang Jiao.
Jiang Jiao was not wearing the new recruits’ martial attire today but instead a dark blue brocade robe, so Xiao Jue did not recognize him at first. As soon as Jiang Jiao spoke, he cursed himself inwardly for being foolish. Since He Yan was now Xiao Jue’s fiancée, it was only natural for Xiao Jue to visit her. What was there to be surprised about?
“Commander Xiao is here to see Brother He… Miss He, right?” Jiang Jiao tried to salvage his earlier remark, glancing at the tightly shut gate behind Xiao Jue. “I just passed by here and asked a fruit vendor, who said this was the He residence… What, is no one home today?”
Xiao Jue shook his head, then looked at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I came to deliver a sword to Miss He.” Jiang Jiao scratched his head. “Soldiers in the barracks whose families live in Shuojing are allowed one day a month to visit home. I returned home yesterday and should head back to the barracks today. Before leaving, I wanted to give this sword to Miss He.”
Xiao Jue raised an eyebrow slightly. Jiang Jiao snapped back to reality, thinking to himself that this was bad. Fearing Xiao Jue might misunderstand, he quickly explained, “It’s because of the assassination attempt on Miss He in Shuojing a few days ago. Word has spread throughout the Liangzhou Guard. The brothers were worried about her safety. My family runs a martial arts school, so I wrote a letter asking my father to find a sword for Miss He.” He hefted the cloth-wrapped longsword in his hand, seeming somewhat embarrassed. “It’s not a treasure sword, but it’s light and sharp. If Miss He carries a sword with her, even if some reckless assassin attacks her again in the future, she won’t be without a suitable weapon.”
“A sword?” Xiao Jue frowned. “Why think of giving a sword?”
“Huh?” Jiang Jiao seemed surprised by the question. “Miss He’s swordsmanship is exquisite. If we’re giving a weapon, of course it should be a sword. Although her whip and blade techniques are excellent, I think her swordsmanship is even better, so I took the liberty of choosing this.”Xiao Jue stared into his eyes. "How do you know He Yan's swordsmanship is exquisite?"
"It was back in Rundu," Jiang Jiao suddenly realized. "Right, Commander, you hadn't arrived in Rundu yet when Miss He used her sword, so you didn't see it. Wang Ba and I both witnessed it that day. Miss He led us on a night raid against the Wutuo enemy camp. We all wore demon masks, but Miss He's mask was different. I heard from Magistrate Li that it was identical to the one the Flying Goose General once wore. That day, wearing the mask and pretending to be the Flying Goose General, she routed the Wutuo forces. She used a sword then. Though I've never seen how the Flying Goose General wielded a sword, I believe Miss He's swordsmanship is no less impressive."
After finishing in one breath, Jiang Jiao suddenly realized he had said too much. Though he and He Yan were friends without any romantic involvement, now that she was Xiao Jue's fiancée, it was better to maintain some distance. He cleared his throat lightly. "I came today just to deliver the sword. I didn't expect Miss He's family to be out. Since I've run into you here, Commander Xiao, perhaps it would be best if you give this sword to Miss He."
He handed the cloth-wrapped bundle to Xiao Jue. "It's getting late, and I must hurry back to camp outside the city. I'll trouble you with this matter, Commander. Thank you." He cupped his hands in salute, then turned and walked away with the bundle he had brought from home.
As Jiang Jiao's figure disappeared at the end of the long street, Xiao Jue looked down at the cloth-wrapped sword in his hand. The sword was light, appearing slender and delicate. He lowered his gaze, lost in thought for a moment, before turning and walking away in another direction.
...
That day, He Yan returned empty-handed once again.
The master craftsman at Changmao Ironworks told He Yan that Niu the Blacksmith had not appeared for several days, and even the ten iron sickles ordered last month had not been delivered. The master craftsman had some acquaintance with Niu the Blacksmith. Though the sickles were important, Niu would not have broken the agreement without good reason.
He Yan asked the master craftsman if he knew where Niu the Blacksmith lived. The craftsman shook his head, saying Niu lived on a desolate mountain, and no one knew the exact location. Niu had never liked discussing his family affairs, and others found it inappropriate to pry.
The situation was almost clear: Niu the Blacksmith and Nanny Qin had likely been found by Xu Zhiheng's men before she could reach them.
It was truly disheartening.
When she returned home, He Sui and He Yun Sheng had not yet returned, as she had left early in the morning, so they had not discovered her sneaking out. However, Qingmei was sitting on the doorstep waiting. As soon as she saw He Yan leading the horse to the gate, she joyfully stood up. "Miss, you're finally back!"
"I just went out for a stroll and lost track of time," He Yan continued to brush it off.
"Miss He left before dawn. May I ask which market you were strolling in?" Chi Wu stepped out from behind the door, his tone unfriendly. He and Qingmei had just returned home not long ago. To be honest, Chi Wu didn't believe searching for someone would yield any results. If He Yan was determined to avoid them, who could find her? But whenever he showed the slightest hint that there was no need to search, the little maid before him would immediately tear up. Chi Wu almost suspected that Qingmei herself wanted to go out and play, which was why she had been so persistent in searching for He Yan the entire day.Pitiful that a grown man like him had to be dragged through streets and alleys by a little girl all day. The Xiao family had plenty of hidden guards in Shuojing City, and who knew how this matter would spread in the Nine Banners Battalion tomorrow. What frustrated him even more was that He Yan not only left on her own but also took a horse right under his nose. He had noticed nothing and was even mocked by Qingmei for his lack of skill.
Who knew how He Yan had managed to slip away.
However, today’s He Yan was even more disheartened than Chi Wu. She had left early and returned late, with nothing to show for it. What was even more disheartening was the silver spent on Fuwang. Just when a clue had emerged, it all went down the drain—truly losing both the person and the money.
She replied listlessly with a few perfunctory words, then added, “I’ve been out all day and am a bit tired. I’ll head back to my room to rest.” Without waiting for Qingmei’s response, she plunged into her room.
Qingmei stood outside the door, blinked, and said to Chi Wu, “Guard Chi Wu, don’t sleep too soundly tonight. Keep an ear out for any movement in the young lady’s room.”
Chi Wu: “...”
Now she didn’t even call him “Young Master Chi Wu” but directly addressed him as “Guard Chi Wu.” And what did she mean by that? Was she telling him not to sleep at all tonight?
Hah, ridiculous.
...
At night, as lanterns lit up, the sound of drunken singing drifted from the distant market district.
Shuojing City finally welcomed the first snowfall of this winter.
Snowflakes fell like salt and cotton, carried by the wind blowing in from outside the city, dancing like petals. In front of the window, the pomegranate tree bore ripe fruit, heavy on the branches, as if a gentle touch would send them tumbling into the snow-dusted soil.
Inside the room, a warm stove simmered with clear tea, and the square window framed a perfect snowy scene. Someone stood by the window, gazing absentmindedly at the falling snow outside.
“Although I’ve never seen the Flying Goose General wield a sword, I think Miss He’s swordsmanship is no worse than his.” Jiang Jiao’s words echoed in his ears. He turned around, walked to the table, and picked up the long sword lying there.
The silk cloth wrapped around the sword had been pulled away, revealing its full appearance. The blade was narrow, likely designed for a woman’s grip, entirely black, with fine patterns engraved on the scabbard. It was also very light.
It was well-known throughout Great Wei that the two great generals, General Feng Yun’s Drink Autumn Sword and the Flying Goose General’s Qinglang Sword, were peerless weapons, capable of cutting through metal as if it were mud. Even more precious than their swords were their swordsmanship—sharp, fierce, and perfected to the highest level.
When he was young, he met He Rufei. He Rufei’s swordsmanship was far from elegant, but after receiving his secret guidance, it improved somewhat. However, since He Rufei joined the army, he had never had the chance to see him wield a sword again. Thus, his knowledge of He Rufei’s swordsmanship was only hearsay.
A thick stack of letters lay piled on the table. Xiao Jue casually picked one up, flipped through a few pages, and his gaze sharpened.
He Rufei and Madam Xu were both born on the Spring Equinox. At fourteen, He Rufei entered the Virtuous Prosperity Academy. At fifteen, he joined the Pacify Yue Army. As He Rufei’s military achievements grew more prominent, shortly before he returned to the capital to receive his rewards, the He family’s second young lady, “He Yan,” who had been recuperating in the countryside, also returned to the capital.
He Rufei received his rewards and was granted the title “Flying Goose General.” Almost simultaneously, the engagement between the second young lady of the He family and Xu Zhiheng was announced.The second young lady of the He family became Madam Xu, and three months after marrying into the Xu family, Madam Xu went blind. A year later, she accidentally drowned and died.
About this deceased Madam Xu, very little could be found about her life. Aside from marrying Xu Zhiheng, there was nothing noteworthy about her in the He family. She was like an insignificant speck of dust, rarely noticed by anyone. The only event in her life that carried a hint of vibrancy was her return to the capital, where she secured a marriage that everyone envied. Unfortunately, it seemed this small stroke of good fortune exhausted all her luck. What followed was blindness, death, and a return to nothingness, like a speck of dust disappearing into the void.
Her birth and demise, overshadowed by her elder brother He Rufei, were like tiny pebbles thrown into the sea, unable to stir even a ripple. At most, people would sigh upon hearing of it.
A pitiful, humble, unnoticed woman.
He picked up another letter. Unlike the one about Madam Xu, this one was densely packed with records of all the interesting events in the life of another girl who shared the same name.
He Yan, the daughter of the City Gate Commandant He Sui, lost her mother at a young age and grew up in a poor household. Yet, under her father’s care, she was still somewhat pampered. She was as lively as any ordinary girl raised in the city, fond of rouge and powder, beautiful dresses, and unable to lift heavy objects or bear burdens. Her greatest wish was to marry into a well-off family. If the family had an official position and the husband was handsome, it would be a blessing from heaven.
Her entanglement with Fan Cheng was known to all the neighbors. As a girl who grew up on the same street, uncovering her past was as easy as asking door to door. It was precisely because of this that the "Miss He" described by the neighbors and the current Marquis of Wu'an "He Yan" seemed like two completely different people.
Miss He loved beauty and elegance, but He Yan wore men’s clothing all day. Miss He was particular about her attire and living conditions, but He Yan didn’t mind sharing a large bed with over a dozen men. Miss He was delicate and frail, panting after just a few steps, but He Yan ran daily at the Liangzhou Guard and could easily lift hundred-pound stone locks.
The same face, yet with a completely different temperament.
She could recite The Art of War by Wu Qi, had a thorough understanding of military formations, could identify the weaknesses of the Wutuo people’s tactics at a glance, and remained unfazed even when facing enemy soldiers’ long blades. Such a genius could not exist in this world, and even if they did, they would not appear in the Liangzhou Guard. But if this person was not a genius but a fierce general forged in the treacherous battlefield, then all the inexplicable things seemed to have a reasonable explanation.
Xiao Jue fell silent for a moment, placed all the letters back into the drawer, and turned to leave the room.
His courtyard was large, with many empty rooms. Xiao Jue walked straight to the innermost room, where guards stood at the door. Seeing Xiao Jue approach, they stepped aside to let him pass.
Xiao Jue entered the room.
Inside, Nanny Qin and Niu the Blacksmith were sitting by the bed, discussing something. Startled by Xiao Jue’s sudden appearance, Nanny Qin immediately stood up and said, "My lord."Now that Xu Zhiheng was searching everywhere for Nanny Qin, and with the two brothers previously brought back from outside the city still residing in the villa, having Nanny Qin stay there would only cause trouble. Xiao Jue had them moved to his own courtyard instead. Even if Xu Zhiheng had the greatest courage, he wouldn’t dare come looking for someone at the Xiao residence. Guards were stationed at the gate, and Nanny Qin couldn’t escape either.
After entering, Xiao Jue didn’t speak, his gaze simply resting on Nanny Qin.
Nanny Qin trembled slightly. Even now, she still knew nothing about this handsome young man, but every time she met his eyes, she couldn’t help but feel a chill run down her spine.
"How did Madam Xu die?" Xiao Jue asked.
Nanny Qin was taken aback and instinctively replied, "She was killed by Concubine He."
"I’m asking, how did she die?"
Only then did Nanny Qin snap back to reality. She swallowed before saying, "I wasn’t too clear about what happened that day. I only know that Madam Xu’s maid first gave her a cup of tea, and there was something in it. Madam Xu knew martial arts, and she was quite skilled at it. Probably… they were afraid she might escape. Later, Madam Xu couldn’t move anymore. The servants beat her with sticks, dragged her to the pond, and pushed her head into the water…"
As if recalling the horror of that day, Nanny Qin felt a chill run through her own body as she spoke.
Madam Xu’s death was too tragic. She didn’t struggle, didn’t scream, didn’t beg for mercy, didn’t break down like those on the brink of death. She only stubbornly resisted fate. Though blind and unable to see anything, there was a fire in her eyes—a determined, tenacious, and relentless resistance. Because of this, when her body was forced into the pond, gradually ceasing to move and losing its breath, the moment was all the more shocking.
Nanny Qin closed her eyes. "Madam Xu was drowned. But it wasn’t an accidental drowning. She was forced into the pond and drowned alive."
Xiao Jue’s fingertips trembled.
Memories of the past gradually surfaced before his eyes—the smoke-filled canal, a sea of flames. The spring river water was still cold, and the girl beneath the water was not as lively as usual. Though she knew how to swim, her body gradually stiffened. Her expression was pained, her long hair spreading out underwater, fragile and brittle like glass, as if she might vanish beneath the water at any moment.
Those who have been burned by fire later avoid it; those who have fallen from a horse and been injured never dare to ride again. So too, a woman who died in a cold pond would never find peace when entering water again, forever haunted by the memory of the icy chill in her final moments and the despair of being so close to the light yet unable to reach it.
So that was it.
Nanny Qin didn’t understand the deeper meaning behind his question and continued to plead, "Sir, I truly had no part in it! It was all Concubine He’s doing—no, it was all the master’s orders. I was just standing among the other servants. I didn’t do anything…"
Before she could finish, she saw the young man push the door open and walk out.
The door closed behind him. Xiao Jue took a few steps forward. In the snowy night, the wind was exceptionally cold, dispersing some of the stifling heaviness that had filled the room moments before.He walked slowly along the corridor. Tonight, there was no moon. In the flickering light of the solitary lantern, the past flashed before his eyes like a revolving lantern. Those familiar scenes finally pierced his heart like a sharp sword, gradually spreading a sharp pain.
Time and space overlapped. Under the moonlight, a girl in martial attire struggled to draw her longbow, repeating the motion tirelessly. In the wilderness of Liangzhou Guard, her figure slowly blurred, merging into a familiar silhouette—a masked youth clumsily swinging his sword, bruised and battered from repeated falls.
He scoffed, "How could someone work so hard yet remain so utterly defenseless?"
But the girl, reeking of wine, indignantly demanded, "Why would you rather fancy Lei Hou than me? In terms of looks, skill, or our past bond, I am deeply disappointed!"
The youth who once stumbled through reciting The Great Learning at Virtuous Prosperity Academy could now, in his drunken state, effortlessly recite an entire passage. Yet he would still cling to his waist, stammering and pleading for a word of praise from his father.
On the Martial Arts Field, she gazed down at the drilling recruits, answering his questions with ease. When praised, she grinned and boasted, "Sometimes I even feel like I was a female general in my past life."
The highest level of deception, perhaps, is to hide the truth beneath seemingly careless lies.
Hua Youxian smiled and asked him, "Is the girl by your side the same little girl from back then?"
Was she the same little girl from back then?
The one whose archery and swordsmanship were a mess, yet earnest and stubborn, diligent yet solitary?
The one who declared, "Those who wield a sword must understand where its blade points—toward the enemy before them or the weak behind them. I will never draw my sword against the weak"?
The one abandoned by her classmates on a farmstead, beaten black and blue yet refusing to betray her friend's whereabouts?
Or was she Madam Xu, who, after Jade Splendor Temple, on Snow Lotus Mountain, attempted suicide once, then tried again, weeping before him, fierce yet pitiful in an inexplicable way?
He had once held an umbrella for her, given her a piece of candy, and offered her a moon that did not exist. Yet he never knew her life was so wretched—so wretched that she could not even claim her true name. On moonless nights, she hid behind a mask, spending many years in lonely, humble solitude.
He had saved her once but failed to save her a second time.
At the Water God Festival in Jiyang, He Yan’s face was hidden behind the legendary "Lihuang Mask," said to punish liars, as she revealed ten secrets—ten truths.
"I had a connection with the Commander in my past life."
"In my previous life, I was a female general!"
So that was it. So that was it.
He lifted his head. The vast sky was dark and heavy. Tonight, there was no bright moon like frost, no gentle breeze like water, no boundless serene scenery. Tonight was bitterly cold. He had deceived her only once, yet she had deceived him for many years, making the revelation of the lie all the more heart-wrenching.
Xiao Jue walked slowly, reaching the end of the corridor, the study, and the pomegranate tree beneath the flower wall. It seemed as if a girl with a radiant smile was reaching out to pluck the still-unripe pomegranate, again and again, her silhouette gradually overlapping with a certain spring day from many years ago.He was in the tree, she beneath it. The mask clung tightly to the little girl's face, revealing only a pair of bright eyes and her comical, determined effort to catch that golden loquat. The youth in white robes landed gracefully, looking down at the frail, petite girl before him, a faint smile curling at the corner of his lips.
That day, the spring breeze was gentle, the sky clear and the waters blue—just like their first meeting.
A voice rose, across the vast sky, the open fields, and the spring's edge, carrying an indescribable melancholy, scattering into the night breeze alongside countless fireflies from the depths of the dense forest.
"Sometimes, when you've been someone's substitute for too long, it's easy to forget who you really are."
"Commander, you must remember my name."
"My name is..."
In the youth's beautiful and pure eyes, a dark hue gradually spread. He lowered his gaze to the tightly held sachet in his hand and softly uttered two words.
"He Yan."
(End of Chapter)
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