Chapter 206: Mother and Daughter
Jade Splendor Temple was bustling with incense smoke, and many carriages were already parked outside its gates.
He Yan and Xiao Jue alighted from their carriage, and Fei Nu drove it aside to wait. Neither of them had brought personal maids or attendants, and both were strikingly attractive, drawing lingering glances from those coming and going to worship. Those who didn’t recognize them simply looked on, while some from official families who recognized Xiao Jue guessed He Yan’s identity, though none dared to gossip openly, instead keeping their distance.
The rituals of worship were simple: ordinary families donated incense oil or rice, while wealthier ones gave silver. The Xiao family was well-off, and Fei Nu had already prepared the offerings. After receiving incense from the monks, they were to enter the hall to kneel and pray.
Xiao Jue did not go in.
When He Yan asked why, he merely replied, “I don’t believe in Buddha.”
He Yan: “...”
To stand before the temple gates and declare disbelief in Buddha on its own grounds—this man truly was arrogant and lawless. Still, belief was a matter of faith, and she couldn’t force Xiao Jue to worship. So she left him outside and entered the hall alone.
He Yan knelt on the prayer mat. The gilded statue of Buddha, built by a wealthy merchant she had once fabricated a story about, gazed down compassionately upon all beings. She bowed her head devoutly, thinking to herself: I ask for nothing else, only that those harmed by He Rufei or burdened by me may reincarnate sooner, living safe, healthy, and free from calamity in their next lives.
After offering incense and lighting the eternal lamp, He Yan stepped out of the hall. Xiao Jue was waiting for her at the entrance and casually asked, “What did you wish for?”
“For an end to war in the world,” He Yan clasped her hands together, feigning solemnity. “For peace and prosperity, so that both of us can live more easily.”
This wasn’t entirely untrue. The matter of the Wutuo People had yet to be fully resolved, and she had heard that debates between advocates of war and peace in the court were still ongoing, with no resolution in sight.
After donating incense money and worshipping, one could also partake in a vegetarian meal at the temple. The vegetarian cuisine at Jade Splendor Temple was renowned, but during her last visit, He Yan had been blind and heartbroken, unable to savor even the finest delicacies. She had long forgotten the taste, but now, recalling it, she felt a flicker of anticipation.
The guesthouse for the vegetarian meal was located past the ancient tree behind Jade Splendor Temple. As they passed by, they could see the massive ancient tree rooted beside the mountain temple, its branches spreading like clouds and mist. Though naturally lush and green, it was now draped in layers of red. Drawing closer, they could see that the red was made of countless silk ribbons, each inscribed with the wishes of those who had tied them there. It was said that hanging one’s wish on the ancient tree would make it come true.
Remembering that she had once hung a red ribbon here herself, He Yan couldn’t help but pause.
“This ancient tree is very efficacious,” she said to Xiao Jue.
Xiao Jue remarked leisurely, “Are you going to spin another tale?”
“No, it truly is efficacious.” He Yan smiled, thinking to herself: In her past life, she had hung a wish on this tree, hoping to see the moon again. At the time, writing those words on the red ribbon had felt like a fool’s dream. Not just the moon—even the idea of her eyes regaining sight had seemed unimaginable.Yet, just when it seemed impossible, even after her death, she was granted another chance at rebirth from the brink of despair, and indeed, she saw the "moon" once more.
"In the future, when I have more silver," He Yan said, "I'll buy plenty of fertilizer to nourish this ancient tree, as a token of my gratitude and sincerity."
Xiao Jue choked back a response. "Your sincerity is truly... unique."
The guest quarters of Jade Splendor Temple were located just in front of the courtyard where the monks resided. Families who donated less shared meals in a common hall, while those who donated more were allotted private courtyards, typically one room per household. With fewer people, the environment was far more serene and elegant.
Though somewhat exasperated by such preferential treatment, having fewer people around was actually a good thing. He Yan had no desire to be secretly observed by everyone while eating a vegetarian meal. Now, due to Emperor Wenxuan's decree of marriage, appearing before the world alongside Xiao Jue required immense courage on her part. Even though she had once been a prominent figure, back then, she at least had a mask to conceal her identity. Now, with no cover at all, exposed in broad daylight, she felt like a white peacock brought by merchants from foreign lands—a spectacle for everyone to gawk at and discuss.
Settling into the guest quarters, it wasn't long before a monk in gray robes brought in tray after tray of vegetarian dishes. The spread was indeed lavish: steamed white jade Buddha's hand, sweet and sour bitter melon, wild mountain pepper-steamed winter melon, purple yam cakes, divine tofu... The mountain was much colder than the foothills, and after a morning of trekking up the mountain path, she was already famished. Now, with steaming hot vegetarian dishes right before her, He Yan couldn't help but feel her appetite surge. Handing a pair of chopsticks to Xiao Jue, she remarked, "The donation wasn't in vain... Commander, if you're still hungry, can we ask for another serving?"
Xiao Jue: "..."
He replied, "As you wish."
He Yan didn't hold back. She ate with gusto, while Xiao Jue, in contrast, maintained an elegant and refined demeanor. They had only just begun eating when the door to the guest quarters was knocked upon, and a monk led two more people inside.
For affluent households like theirs, the dining quarters were small and refined, typically sufficient for just one household. However, today's fine weather and the Mid-Autumn Festival had drawn an unusually large number of worshippers to Jade Splendor Temple. Likely due to overcrowding, they had no choice but to share the space with Xiao Jue and He Yan.
Xiao Jue frowned slightly, about to speak, when He Yan interjected, "It's fine, let them in. I eat quickly, so it won't be a bother."
Having only recently gained a bit of fame in Shuojing City and not yet having formally confronted He Rufei, she had no intention of earning a reputation for being domineering and unreasonable, eagerly handing others an excuse to criticize her.
Xiao Jue thought for a moment and remained silent.
The two people led in by the monks were women—one older, the other younger. He Yan had initially only glanced briefly, but when she caught sight of the older woman's face, her heart skipped a beat. In that instant, she lost control, and her chopsticks clattered to the floor.
He Yan quickly bent down to pick them up, using the motion to conceal the shock on her face.
The noise also drew the attention of the two newcomers. Both women paused and turned their gaze toward He Yan. Just as He Yan retrieved her chopsticks, the monk approached and said, "Patron, please wait a moment. This humble monk will fetch a clean pair for you."
Before He Yan could respond, the younger woman had already spotted Xiao Jue beside her and exclaimed, "General Feng Yun!"
He Yan instinctively looked at Xiao Jue, who frowned slightly, seemingly displeased.He Xinying was very surprised. She hadn't expected to see Xiao Jue here after coming up the mountain. Thinking about it, she had only seen Xiao Jue once before. It was when she had gone shopping with a friend to buy some items. They saw a group of people riding horses through the city streets, with pedestrians and carriages on the roadside all making way. The man at the front was handsome and outstanding, truly exceptional. At that time, her friend beside her told her: That is Great Wei's General Feng Yun.
Perhaps because this man's appearance was truly remarkable, leaving too vivid an impression, the moment she saw Xiao Jue, he overlapped with the shadow in her memory.
However, everyone knew that this Commander Xiao's temper was not too good. For a moment, He Xinying, supporting Lady He the Second, felt unsure whether to advance or retreat. She feared that with one careless move, she might offend this ruthless, jade-faced commander.
Lady He the Second, however, did not mind these things. She simply pulled He Xinying inside and sat down at the table next to He Yan and the others.
He Xinying curiously looked toward Xiao Jue. There were many rumors about this Commander Xiao, but one rumor had never changed: his aversion to women. However, this rumor was broken just a few days ago at the victory banquet. The emperor personally bestowed a marriage upon him and a woman. And Xiao Jue's protection and deep affection for that woman in the grand hall, in front of all civil and military officials, when it reached the ears of the people of Shuojing, shattered the dreams of countless young ladies overnight.
On the day Xu Zhiheng returned from the victory banquet, his mood was not too good, and he did not discuss these matters with He Xinying. Therefore, these events were only spread throughout the entire household the next day when the maids who went shopping in the streets heard about it and brought the news back. Speaking of which, Xiao Jue's fiancée was also an extraordinary woman. She actually dared to disguise herself as a man to go to the battlefield and kill Wutuo People, and even became Great Wei's first female marquis, the Marquis of Wu'an.
The most coincidental thing was that this Marquis of Wu'an shared the same name as her deceased sister, the previously ill-fated Madam Xu, also called He Yan.
However, her sister He Yan was a frail and sickly person who needed long-term care at the estate and took medicine daily. She couldn't even walk a few extra steps without panting, let alone go to the battlefield to kill Wutuo People. So while the names were the same, their personalities were worlds apart.
He Xinying observed the woman beside Xiao Jue. That woman was also young and beautiful, with a vibrant and heroic spirit between her brows. He Xinying guessed in her heart that the one who could make the woman-averse Commander Xiao so close must be his "beloved" fiancée, the Marquis of Wu'an, He Yan.
While He Xinying was observing her, He Yan simply kept her head down, pretending to eat seriously, but her heart was tangled with countless thoughts. Several times she almost couldn't control herself from looking at the person sitting directly opposite her—Lady He the Second.
That was her biological mother.
Regarding Lady He the Second, He Yan's impression was actually not very deep. Compared to He Yuanliang, Lady He the Second did not like to go out much. Usually, unless it was during festivals, she stayed in her own courtyard. Perhaps because women are soft-hearted, and Lady He the First was afraid something might go wrong, He Yan could often see He Yuanliang, but had very few opportunities to see Lady He the Second. However, ever since He Yan learned her true identity, she often wanted to see what kind of person her birth mother really was. Vaguely, she felt she was a very quiet, gentle woman, sometimes appearing somewhat dull.He Yuanliang usually wore a cheerful, smiling demeanor that endeared him to women. In the second household, he kept several concubines, who had also borne him sons and daughters. If one were to speak of favor, Lady He the Second was by no means the one who pleased He Yuanliang the most, yet he never neglected her either, never indulging in the practice of favoring concubines over the wife—at least, before He Yan enlisted in the army in her previous life, Lady He the Second lived quite comfortably in the household.
During one family banquet, He Yan sat at the same table as Lady He the Second while dining at home. At that time, she was still young, just ten years old, seated directly across from Lady He the Second. Perhaps out of excessive curiosity, she glanced at Lady He the Second too many times. In later family banquets, He Yan no longer shared a table with her.
She never expected to encounter her birth mother here, so abruptly and without warning. No matter how much hatred or lack of affection she held for the He family, facing Lady He the Second stirred emotions in He Yan that were not as indifferent as they appeared on the surface.
He Xinying gently tugged at Lady He the Second’s sleeve and whispered, "The one across from us is General Feng Yun, Commander Xiao. The person beside him is most likely Lady He Yan, the Marquis of Wu’an, whom His Majesty betrothed to him just a few days ago."
At these words, Lady He the Second paused her chopsticks and looked up toward the opposite table.
By now, the news of Xiao Huaijin’s betrothal was known throughout Shuojing, from high-ranking officials and nobles down to commoners—even the beggars on the streets knew his fiancée was named He Yan. It was impossible for Lady He the Second not to have heard. Suddenly hearing the name of someone who shared both the surname and given name of her deceased daughter left her momentarily stunned.
On the other side, Xiao Jue noticed He Yan’s sudden silence and asked, "Why aren’t you speaking?"
Before this mother and daughter arrived, she had been chattering nonstop. After their arrival, however, she fell silent. Even if she had been recognized, so what? In the past, He Yan had never been one to act according to others’ moods.
Afraid that Xiao Jue might notice something amiss, He Yan forced a smile and hastily changed the subject, saying, "Commander, is it really alright for me to keep the Black Jade you gave me earlier?"
"What’s wrong with it?"
"I just feel it’s too precious," He Yan replied, stuffing a potato pancake into her mouth as she spoke, her eyes fixed on the table and avoiding the other two people in the room. "But your parents really knew how to choose a name for you—Jue means ‘twin jades.’ It’s quite fitting that the Empress Dowager gifted you the dual-colored jade."
Xiao Jue chuckled softly. "Your name is quite nice too."
He Yan seemed to ponder for a moment, her lips moving as if she wanted to say something, but in the end, she remained silent and lowered her head to eat.
Lady He the Second stared intently at He Yan’s movements. He Yan had a sweet tooth and always reached for the sweet dishes first when eating. Though her manners were not particularly refined or restrained, she was exceptionally frugal, never leaving even a single grain of rice behind. If she encountered a dish she didn’t like, she wouldn’t discard it either. Instead, she would pause briefly, as if gathering courage, then eat it all in one go, never touching that plate again.
As Lady He the Second watched, her expression gradually changed. Her once hollow and numb gaze grew increasingly agitated, as if she were on the verge of tears.
Xiao Jue had his back to Lady He the Second and her daughter, so he didn’t notice Lady He the Second’s unusual behavior. He Yan saw it but pretended not to, shifting the conversation back to Xiao Jue.
He Xinying whispered, "Mother, why aren’t you eating?"The young lady seemed to sense something and looked in their direction. Lady He the Second quickly lowered her head, picked up her chopsticks, and took a hasty bite of rice. No one saw the tear that fell into her bowl.
During this meal, aside from Xiao Jue and He Xinying, both Lady He the Second and He Yan were preoccupied with their own thoughts. He Yan and the others had arrived earlier and finished their meal quickly. After eating, He Yan set down her chopsticks. Xiao Jue had already finished earlier and, seeing her done, said, "Let's go."
He Yan nodded, and the two walked out together.
They hadn't gone far when suddenly, a voice called from behind, "...Young lady, please wait!"
He Yan turned to see Lady He the Second lifting her skirt as she hurried toward her. Behind her, He Xinying wore a look of surprise, seemingly caught off guard by her mother's sudden action. Lady He the Second was not in good health, and after a few steps, she was already breathing heavily. For an official's wife, such behavior was somewhat improper. However, Lady He the Second paid no mind to this as she approached.
Xiao Jue frowned. "Who are you?"
"I am... the wife of the second branch of the He family in the capital." Lady He the Second glanced at Xiao Jue. The young man's cold expression made her feel a hint of timidity, yet she still stared intently at He Yan, unable to tear her gaze away.
He Yan nodded with a polite smile. "Lady He the Second."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He Xinying caught up, discreetly tugging at Lady He the Second's sleeve, her eyes carrying a hint of reproach. After He Yan left, they hadn't even finished their meal. He Xinying had been about to discuss the two with Lady He the Second when she saw her mother suddenly stand up as if resolved and chase after them.
Everything happened too quickly for her to intervene. But He Xinying knew better than to provoke the Right Army Commander without good reason. Among the official families in Shuojing City, which household didn't know that Xiao Huaijin was not someone to be trifled with? If he chose to pursue the matter, it could bring trouble to the He family.
"Is there something you need, madam?" He Yan asked politely.
Lady He the Second looked at her, yet it seemed as though she was looking through her at someone else. Her voice was soft, as if afraid of startling the young lady before her, or as if coaxing her three-year-old daughter. "You... are called He Yan?"
He Yan looked at the woman before her.
In her memory, Lady He the Second was still young. Unlike the strict and meticulous Lady He the First, Lady He the Second had a gentle and amiable face, clearly someone of good temperament. She had once seen her younger sister, He Xinying, break a very expensive vase. Instead of getting angry, Lady He the Second had taken He Xinying into her arms to check if her hands had been cut by the shards.
He Yan had envied that back then, thinking her own birth mother was indeed better than her "mother."
Later, when she returned to the mansion after the war and became "He Yan" again, Lady He the Second had visited a few times. But too many years had passed between them, and even when sitting in the same room, they felt only awkwardness and distance. However, on the day of her wedding, when Lady He the Second came to see her off, He Yan sat in the room, and as Lady He the Second placed the bridal veil over her head, she said one thing.
Holding He Yan's hand, she slowly said, "Ah He, you must live well from now on."
Those words brought tears to He Yan's eyes beneath the veil.
Unfortunately, even this simple wish of "living well" was something she ultimately failed to achieve. Even when she lost her sight in the Xu family, Lady He the Second never visited once, citing "illness" as the reason.The woman before her had aged considerably, no longer the youthful figure from memory. He Yan could even see the faint streaks of gray at her temples.
She had grown old.
He Xinying glanced at Xiao Jue, feeling nervous, and hurriedly explained to He Yan, "I'm sorry, Miss He. It's because your name is the same as my elder sister's, so my mother..."
She didn't know how to continue. To say that He Yan shared the same name as a deceased person—who knew if this female marquis would find it inauspicious and take offense?
Lady He the Second looked at He Yan and asked tremulously, "Miss He... why are you called He Yan?"
The question was truly abrupt. He Yan stared at her for a moment before responding with a careless smile, her tone light and casual. "Who knows? Ordinary girls aren't usually given the character 'Yan.' 'He Qing Hai Yan'—perhaps my parents knew from the moment I was born that I would one day go to the battlefield to protect the people. If that's the case, then this name is quite different from ordinary ones."
Her words carried a hint of self-mockery.
"He Qing Hai Yan" sounded like an era of peace and prosperity, but she herself had gone to the battlefield. Her blood relatives not only showed no concern but were even here to squeeze the last bit of value from her, which was disheartening. He Yan had thought her longing for familial affection had long been extinguished in her youth. Without hope, disappointment wouldn't be too painful. Now, in another He family, she had experienced warmth she had never known before. When she encountered Lady He the Second again, the resentment and grievances she had deliberately buried deep in her heart all surged forth.
After she finished speaking, He Xinying didn't notice anything amiss, but Lady He the Second's expression changed drastically. The color drained from her face in an instant, and she seemed on the verge of collapsing.
He Yan nodded to them. "If there's nothing else, we'll take our leave." She gently tugged at Xiao Jue's sleeve and walked ahead on her own.
Behind them, He Xinying waited until the two had walked far enough away before whispering reproachfully, "Mother, what's wrong with you? You suddenly rushed out and startled me. You know what kind of person Commander Xiao is. It's fortunate they didn't take offense just now. If they had gotten angry, even my elder brother and husband might not have been able to handle it... Mother? Mother?"
He Xinying suddenly fell silent because she saw a large tear well up in the woman's eyes. It traced a path down the fine wrinkles at the corner of her eye, like cold dew in the deep night, carrying a shattered sorrow.
He Xinying knew that Lady He the Second was thinking of her deceased elder sister. After He Yan's death, her mother's health had never been good. The doctors always said she would recover with proper care, but He Xinying understood in her heart that it was a sickness of the soul. Her mother's constant dwelling on her elder sister's death was the cause.
Yet... there were things she didn't understand. She had always thought her mother was rather indifferent toward her elder sister, perhaps because He Yan had been raised on the estate due to illness and had never been close to her mother in the manor. Over time, it had been difficult to develop the same affection as she herself felt. But after He Yan's death, seeing her mother's profound grief, she realized it wasn't a lack of love.
But if that was the case, why had she treated her so distantly and coldly back then?
And her own father, He Yuanliang, who was kind to everyone, always smiling and amiable—why hadn't he shown the same sorrow over He Yan's death?In summary, He Yan seemed to be a subtle presence in the He family, and her death finally revealed the underlying strangeness of what had appeared ordinary. She was filled with questions, yet no one could answer them for her.
No one would answer them for her.
He Xinying held Lady He the Second's hand, but in the end, she said nothing. Instead, she took out a handkerchief to wipe the tears from the corner of her mother's eyes and whispered softly, "Mother, let's go back."
Passionate second update ∠(?」∠)＿
(End of Chapter)
OpenNovel