Legend of the Female General

Chapter 204: Realization

The revelation that He Yan was a woman, and that she had been granted marriage to Xiao Jue by the emperor, caused more than just a stir. In the Shen family of the capital, the atmosphere today was deathly quiet.

Shen Muxue knelt on the floor, head bowed in silence. The eldest son of the Shen family and Madam Shen stood to the side. Madam Shen’s face was full of worry, her words caught in her throat. After a long while, it was the eldest son who finally spoke up. He looked toward Censor Shen, who stood in the center of the hall with his hands clasped behind his back, his expression cold, and softly tried to console him: "My sister was momentarily confused. Father, please do not blame her too harshly."

"Momentarily confused?" Censor Shen turned around, his gaze falling on Shen Muxue. It was unclear whether his eyes held heartache or anger as he said, "Our Shen family has always prided itself on integrity and loyalty. I never imagined we would raise a daughter who, at some point, learned such underhanded methods. If she was momentarily confused, a single misstep could have cost someone their life!"

Censor Shen was slender and refined in appearance. Though he had aged, one could still faintly glimpse the grace of his youth. The pride and aloofness between his brows were identical to Shen Muxue’s. He had always been strict with his sons but exceptionally lenient with this daughter. This was the first time he had ever lost his temper with Shen Muxue—even when she had insisted on following Xiao Jue to the border, Censor Shen had not been as angry as he was today.

"You can’t say it like that," Madam Shen said, her heart aching for her daughter. "That He Yan was originally a woman. Muxue was only speaking the truth. If she hadn’t deceived His Majesty in the first place, how could her identity have been exposed by others? Those who make mistakes should be punished. You keep blaming Muxue, but in truth, she was acting in His Majesty’s best interests. How could we allow a woman to parade around under a man’s identity, deceiving everyone?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Censor Shen shot her a cold glance, and Madam Shen fell silent. Censor Shen said, "Nonsense! You only see that she disguised herself as a man to join the army and deceived the world. Why don’t you see that she led troops to fight the Wutuo People? The naval battle at Jiyang, defending Rundu… Do you think military achievements are easily earned? If she hadn’t performed deeds that saved countless lives, how could His Majesty have so easily elevated her to Marquis of Wu'an? Moreover," he stared at his daughter, "I heard that back in Liang Province, when spies infiltrated the garrison, you were unaware of the details. It was He Yan who sent you away. Regardless of the outcome, she was helping you. I taught you since childhood that even the smallest kindness should be repaid generously. Even if others don’t take it to heart, you should remember it. I never imagined this is how you would remember it."

Shen Muxue remained silent, her head lowered.

"What I never expected even more," Censor Shen continued as if wanting to get everything off his chest at once, "is that not only did you become the petty person who exposed her identity, but you didn’t even have the courage to step forward openly. You hid behind Wang Rong. Do you realize that by doing so, you’ve also harmed Wang Rong?"

Shen Muxue trembled slightly.

At the palace banquet, the unfamiliar person who revealed He Yan’s identity as a woman was named Wang Rong—her childhood friend. The two of them had known each other for a long time. Wang Rong’s father was on good terms with Censor Shen. Shen Muxue knew that Wang Rong liked her, but her heart belonged entirely to Xiao Jue.It wasn't that she hadn't considered stepping forward herself to expose the truth, but in the end, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She feared that He Yan might lose her life because of it—she had never intended for He Yan to die, only hoping that He Yan would stay away from Xiao Jue. She was even more afraid of facing Xiao Jue's disappointed and indifferent gaze toward her. When Wang Rong came to the Shen residence, he noticed Shen Muxue's troubled expression and asked her about it. Unable to hold back any longer, Shen Muxue poured out all her confusion and worries. After listening, Wang Rong remained silent for a moment, then turned and left, saying, "Wait for me."

Wait for what? He didn't say.

"I didn't expect him to do this," Shen Muxue weakly defended herself.

Her father, Censor Shen, stared at her, his gaze sharp, his voice like a knife that could cut her open. "Did you really not expect it?"

Shen Muxue fell silent.

Had she really not expected it?

Wang Rong had liked her for many years and was willing to do anything for her. Impulsive and reckless, when she told him about this matter, could she truly claim she hadn't anticipated his reaction?

She simply didn't want to admit that she was such a despicable, lowly person.

Seeing Shen Muxue swaying unsteadily, her elder brother softened and said, "Even so, my sister has already realized her mistake. Father knows that my sister has been devoted to Xiao Huaijin for many years. How could she feel at ease when another woman suddenly appeared? My sister has never been one to share her grievances with others, and it's also my fault as her brother for not being considerate enough, which is why I only discovered this now. If Father wishes to punish her, please punish me as well."

"This has nothing to do with my brother. I made the mistake, and I alone will bear the consequences," Shen Muxue knelt upright.

"You've liked Xiao Huaijin for so many years, but has he ever shown you the slightest response?" Censor Shen suddenly asked.

Shen Muxue looked at him.

"Love never arises from mere affection," Censor Shen said quietly. "When you wanted to leave Shuojing and follow him, I didn't support it, but I didn't oppose it either. I knew Xiao Huaijin would never fall in love with you, but I always believed that once you left the confines of this house, traveled more, and met more people, your heart and mind would naturally broaden, and gradually, you would let him go. But instead," he sighed, "it only pushed you deeper into obsession."

Shen Muxue pressed her lips together and said nothing.

Even her own father could see that Xiao Jue would never love her? She had never felt so utterly defeated.

These words were too harsh, and Lady Shen couldn't help but retort angrily, "How could there be a father like you in this world! If Xiao Huaijin can't appreciate Muxue, it's his own lack of judgment. I don't think much of him either! A woman joining the military camp—I don't understand this talk of saving the common people. All I know is that all rules are being thrown into chaos. Xiao Huaijin would rather marry such a woman, not even fearing the ridicule of the world!"

Shen's elder brother hesitated to speak, but this time, Censor Shen ignored his wife's defense and simply looked at Shen Muxue, saying, "The places you've traveled are no fewer than He Yan's, and the people you've met are likely no fewer than hers. Yet, your perspective and ideals fall far short of hers. It's not that I don't believe in you, but after tonight, the difference between the two of you will be clear for all to see."

"You are not her equal."Tears instantly welled up in Shen Muxue's eyes. She had always been strong-willed and unwilling to cry in front of others, yet at this moment, she could no longer suppress her grievances and shame. Tears streamed down her face.

Censor Shen no longer looked at her, speaking calmly, "From today onward, you are not allowed to go anywhere. Our Shen family does not resort to violence. Since you have made a mistake, you will be confined to the house for a year."

"Master!"

Ignoring his wife's pleas, Censor Shen flicked his sleeve and walked out of the hall. The night wind outside the courtyard was bitterly cold, cutting into his face like a knife.

The eldest son of the Shen family caught up to him, walking alongside Censor Shen. "Father, isn't a year too long?"

Censor Shen looked down at the green bricks on the ground, smiling bitterly. "Xiao Huaijin is someone who protects his own. Do you think he won't find out about Muxue?"

"But..."

"Because of his father's relationship, he won't do anything to Muxue. However, the friendship between our family and the Xiao family ends here."

...

Of course, those shocked by this matter were not limited to just these few. In the Cheng family, relatives who learned of Xiao Jue's marriage announcement were all astonished and suspicious. Out of nowhere, His Majesty had actually bestowed a marriage. They were so busy being surprised by the marriage arrangement that they didn't pay much attention to He Yan, only knowing that she likely came from a family without an official position, similar to Bai Rongwei in status.

As for Cheng Li Su, what surprised him more than the news of Xiao Jue's marriage was the fact that He Yan was a woman.

"My big brother... how could he possibly be a woman?" The young boy paced back and forth in his room, unconsciously tugging at the hem of his clothes. "How is this possible!"

After returning to Shuojing City earlier, he had been dragged by the Cheng family and thrown into school to study. The school only allowed him to return home once a month, and even on that day, he was locked at home practicing calligraphy and not allowed to go anywhere. Therefore, when Xiao Jue and the others returned to the capital, Cheng Li Su hadn't been able to visit the Xiao family.

When he finally finished school and returned home this month, he not only learned that Xiao Jue and He Yan had returned but also received the additional news that both of them had been granted marriages by His Majesty.

"My big brother..." he grabbed a servant and said, "could punch a tiger to death with one blow. How could he possibly be a woman?"

Heavens, was he going mad, or was the whole world going mad?

"I have to go find Uncle!" Thinking of this, he pulled open the main door and walked out, determined to find Xiao Jue and ask for clarification.

"No, young master! The master and mistress said you cannot leave the mansion... Someone, come quickly! The young master is trying to leave!" The servant behind him hurriedly followed.

...

"Wahhhh, they're all liars—"

In the Song household, Song Taotao was crying uncontrollably.

"How could my Brother He possibly be a woman? You must be lying to me!" The little girl's eyes were swollen from crying. Mr. and Mrs. Song stood outside the door, looking at each other, both wearing helpless expressions.

Since returning from Shuojing, Song Taotao had been acting out of character, becoming much more obedient and well-behaved, diligently practicing music, chess, calligraphy, and painting every day at home. Mrs. Song suspected she had fallen for someone and often worried about what to do if she truly had feelings for someone else, given the marriage arrangement with the Cheng family. They knew Song Taotao's temperament well. Before, she hadn't known what it felt like to like someone, and Cheng Li Su was a lively young man. The couple had thought that as they spent time together, feelings would naturally develop. But if she had someone else in her heart, the marriage might turn into a feud.Madam Song had indeed tried to subtly probe Song Taotao about who the person in her heart truly was. Each time, Song Taotao managed to evade the question. The clever girl knew all too well that He Yan’s current status was not high, and even if she told her parents, they would certainly not approve. It was better to wait a little longer. With that young man’s abilities, it was only a matter of time before he would be granted a high-ranking official position. Until then, there was no need to tell anyone else—she just needed to hold onto him.

It wasn’t until tonight, when news of Xiao Jue’s arranged marriage arrived, that Song Taotao began a hunger strike at home, crying and throwing tantrums, even threatening to hang herself in her grief. Only then did Madam Song and Master Song realize that their daughter’s beloved was none other than Xiao Jue’s fiancée.

The couple found themselves both amused and exasperated.

“Taotao, stop crying. Since it’s a woman, crying won’t change anything. Wipe your tears—your eyes are swollen like walnuts…”

“Exactly. Besides, Young Master Cheng’s uncle is Commander Xiao. If you like that Miss He, once you marry Young Master Cheng, you can visit the Xiao family often. Wouldn’t that let you see Miss He regularly?”

Instead of comforting her, these words only deepened Song Taotao’s sorrow. “Who wants to visit the Xiao family? She deceived my feelings. I never want to see her again, wuwuwuwu…”

…

While chaos reigned on one side and absurdity on the other, there were also those who felt like stray dogs, restless and uneasy, returning home to see shadows in every corner.

Xu Zhiheng couldn’t sleep.

After returning home, he told He Xinying that he had many official documents to handle and would sleep in the study, urging her to rest early. Then, he shut himself inside the study.

In the middle of the night, He Xinying got up to use the restroom and thought of Xu Zhiheng. She fetched a thicker quilt from the cabinet. As the weather grew colder, sleeping in the study wasn’t as warm as the bedroom, and catching a cold at this time of year would be troublesome. Carrying the quilt, she went to the study, only to find the lamp lit but no one inside.

He Xinying sat in a chair in the study for a while, thinking Xu Zhiheng might return soon. But after a quarter of an hour, there was still no sign of him. She paused, feeling both worried and suspicious. Even if he had gone to the restroom, this was taking too long. Could something have happened? Last year in Shuojing City, someone had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. The ground was frosted, and in the darkness, they hadn’t seen clearly, slipped, and by the time the servants found them the next day, they were gone.

Fearing Xu Zhiheng might have fallen somewhere, she didn’t dare alert anyone else. Instead, she left the quilt in the study and took a lantern to search around. She didn’t venture as far as her in-laws’ courtyard, only circling her own, but found no trace of Xu Zhiheng.

Could he have left the residence so late at night?

He Xinying pondered for a moment and, for some inexplicable reason, found her gaze drifting toward a courtyard near theirs—He Yan’s courtyard.

This courtyard had once been occupied by her sister, the short-lived Madam Xu. After He Yan’s death, the courtyard was sealed off, and the former servants were dismissed. However, He Xinying had once heard a rumor: there weren’t many servants attending to He Yan, and sometimes, those servants were even reassigned to serve another concubine of the Xu family.He Xinying was half-convinced by this rumor. After all, this was a daughter from their He family. No matter how bold the Xu family was, they probably wouldn’t dare to treat her so poorly. Moreover, she hadn’t seen that concubine since entering the Xu household. When asked, she was told the woman had made a mistake and was driven out.

He Xinying understood clearly that the Xu family might have done this to avoid making her, the new bride, uncomfortable. Since they showed her such respect, she assumed they wouldn’t have treated He Yan poorly either. Over time, He Xinying gradually forgot about the matter, dismissing it as nothing more than an unfounded rumor.

However, there were some strange things about He Yan. For example, this courtyard. The Xu family said Xu Zhiheng kept it untouched in memory of his late wife, leaving it empty instead of cleaning it out for others to live in. Yet He Xinying had never seen Xu Zhiheng visit this courtyard.

Wouldn’t someone who missed his deceased wife often go to places they once shared, holding onto old belongings to reminisce?

But perhaps Xu Zhiheng avoided it deliberately, afraid that seeing these things would stir up painful memories. He Xinying found an excuse for him.

As for He Yan, she had once felt jealous, but now she felt none at all. Competing with a dead person was meaningless, especially since no matter how much she tried to convince herself, she didn’t feel threatened by He Yan.

In other words, she didn’t sense Xu Zhiheng’s profound love for He Yan.

The lantern cast a faint glow, and the wind outside had completely blown away her drowsiness. Gazing at the dark, empty courtyard, she thought for a moment, then involuntarily moved her feet toward that place.

She had only been to this courtyard once, shortly after marrying into the Xu family, and even then, she only reached the courtyard. When He Xinying tried to enter the room, a maid suddenly appeared and whispered, “Madam, the young master forbids anyone from entering this courtyard.”

As a new bride at the time, He Xinying didn’t want to argue with Xu Zhiheng over this, so she withdrew. As time passed, she never thought of going back. But tonight, for some reason, she inexplicably wanted to take a look. He Yan had previously been recuperating at the estate and quickly married after returning to the He family. Truth be told, she hadn’t spent much time with this elder sister, to the point that she could hardly remember what He Yan looked like now.

But perhaps she could still see the place where He Yan had lived, catching a glimpse of the traces left by her blood relative.

Unconsciously, she had already walked into the courtyard. It was as cold as ever, chilly like winter whether in summer or autumn. The maids had swept the ground clean, but they couldn’t erase the sense of age and decay.

He Xinying slowly walked to the door of the room and was about to push it open when she suddenly paused—there was a sound inside.

At first, she was nervous, fearing a thief had entered the courtyard. But as she listened to the commotion, she realized a thief wouldn’t be so bold. Holding the lantern, she quietly walked to the side of the window and peered through a crack in the paper.

An oil lamp was lit inside the room, and she saw Xu Zhiheng.

A Xu Zhiheng completely different from his usual self.

He was still wearing the clothes he had worn to the palace that day. He was an extremely meticulous person who would always bathe and change after returning home, but today he hadn’t. He sat at the large table in the room, frantically pulling open the wooden drawers again and again, searching for something inside.His movements were rough, lacking the refined gentleness of before. From the angle of the window, he looked like a complete madman.

He Xinying’s heart skipped a beat, and a chill ran through her from head to toe. Staring at her unfamiliar husband, she felt a surge of fear.

In her panic, she accidentally stepped on a stone. With a clatter, the stone rolled down the steps of the courtyard, making a loud noise.

"Who’s there?" At the same time, Xu Zhiheng inside the room looked up.

He yanked the door open and rushed out, shouting, "Who’s there?"

He Xinying was terrified.

For a moment, she suddenly wanted to flee, feeling as if Xu Zhiheng would turn into a demon in the next instant and pounce on her to take her life. She forced a smile and stepped forward. "It’s me."

Xu Zhiheng narrowed his eyes as he looked at the person before him. After a moment, the gloom and tension in his eyes gradually faded, replaced by a smile. Yet, no matter how one looked at it, the smile seemed stiff and perfunctory. His tone carried a hint of impatience. "Xinying, why are you here?"

"I was worried you might be cold at night, so I brought a blanket to the study to look for you, but you weren’t there. I was afraid you might trip in the dark, so I took a lantern and searched around." Seeing Xu Zhiheng’s tense expression, she had a sudden thought and smiled. "I was just trying my luck, but I didn’t expect you to actually be here. You must be missing my sister, right?"

Xu Zhiheng was taken aback for a moment before agreeing, "...Yes."

He Xinying sighed sadly. "It’s good that you’re devoted, but... sometimes you must also think of your own health."

Xu Zhiheng casually closed the door of the room, blocking He Xinying’s view, and took her hand to lead her outside. "Enough, it’s cold out here. Don’t catch a chill. Let’s go back."

His hand was as cold as if it held no trace of life.

He Xinying replied obediently, "Husband, didn’t I mention before that I wanted to go to the mountain to pray to the Bodhisattva during the Mid-Autumn Festival? My mother finally has some free time these days, so I thought I’d go up the mountain the day after tomorrow. I’ll also pray for my sister in heaven. Is that alright?"

Xu Zhiheng’s expression stiffened briefly. "...Alright."

"Would you like to come along, husband?" He Xinying asked.

"I won’t go," Xu Zhiheng replied. "I’ve been very busy these days and probably won’t be able to accompany you up the mountain."

Hearing this, He Xinying didn’t get angry. Instead, she smiled and said, "That’s alright. I’ll include your share when I pray to the Bodhisattva. You’re busy with important matters of the family and the nation. The Bodhisattva won’t blame you."

She was obedient and considerate, and she knew how to say pleasing words. She was a woman with some cleverness but also a certain foolishness. This was precisely what Xu Zhiheng liked about her. Compared to He Yan, it was much easier to put on an act in front of He Xinying.

His heart gradually relaxed. The fear that had arisen from hearing that familiar name at tonight’s victory banquet was also dispelled somewhat by their being together.

He Yan was already dead. The dead would not return. So, the living were merely pretending to be ghosts.

He would work with He Rufei to uncover the true identity of that pretender.

The lantern emitted faint, flickering light in the night. He didn’t notice the woman beside him, her expression hidden beneath her obedient voice, dark and inscrutable.He Xinying felt as if she had never truly known this husband of hers. The Xu Zhiheng she had glimpsed through the crack in the window just moments ago—frenzied, obsessive, agitated, and ruthless—made her wonder if perhaps that version of him was the real Xu Zhiheng. She couldn’t help but doubt: was the refined, considerate, seemingly flawless and nearly perfect man she knew now truly Xu Zhiheng?

Had her sister He Yan ever witnessed this side of Xu Zhiheng? He Yan was so delicate and had always been in poor health. If Xu Zhiheng had ever inadvertently revealed this side of himself in front of He Yan, would her sister have been frightened out of her wits?

But He Yan was already dead. She couldn’t ask a dead person.

He Xinying suddenly realized that this seemingly gentle and bright Xu family seemed to hold many secrets she knew nothing about.

A terrifying thought rose in her heart.

Did He Yan really drown by accident?

(End of Chapter)