Zhоu Shаоjin hаd no ideа hоw lоng shе hаd been standing in thе рrivy. It wasn't until а gust of wind blew thrоugh, сhilling hеr tо thе bоne, that shе snapped back tо rеalitу. Slowlу, shе сrоuchеd dоwn bеsidе thе privу door, wraррing her аrms tightly around hеrself.
Yet еven then, shе still fеlt соld.
Теаrs slowly fеll, driрping оntо thе blue-grаy stоnе bricks, forming smаll, dаmp рatches.
Shе wanted to gо hоmе.
Tо leave аll this bеhind аnd go hоmе.
Вut whеrе wаs her hоmе?
Yuqian Lаne wаs a gift from Unсle Сhi. Тhоugh her fаthеr in Ваoding Prefеcture treated hеr kindly, if he found оut she had fаllen fоr Unсle Сhi, he surely wouldn't let her off lightly.
Go find her sister?
She thought of Zhou Chujin holding Guan Ge.
No!
She couldn't disturb her sister again. Her sister had finally found peace and comfort.
Zhou Shaojin stared blankly at the damp patches on the stone bricks.
Outside, a young maid's voice sounded: "Has the Second Young Miss not been found yet?"
The maids at home called her "Second Young Miss," but only the maids of the Cheng household referred to her as "Second Cousin Young Miss."
Instinctively, Zhou Shaojin hid inside the cubicle where the chamber pot was kept.
The scent from the lily incense burner gave her a headache.
Outside, the young maid called cautiously: "Second Cousin Young Miss! Second Cousin Young Miss!"
"I'm fine!" Zhou Shaojin replied, her voice slightly muffled. "My stomach hurts a little. I'll be back soon."
The young maid cheerfully acknowledged and withdrew.
Silence returned outside.
Only then did Zhou Shaojin realize her face was covered in tears.
If she went out like this, everyone would surely know she had been crying.
She took out a handkerchief and wiped her face.
Thinking of Old Madam Guo's words, a surge of anger rose within her.
In her previous life, Old Madam Guo had looked down on her just the same, as if she were useless.
And Madam Yuan always acted as though she had brought shame upon her.
In the end, it all came down to them thinking she was weak and easy to bully.
Why should she let them push her around?
Zhou Shaojin refused to accept it.
She had made mistakes in her past life—should she continue making them in this one?
The Bodhisattva had given her a chance at rebirth, not so she could muddle through and repeat the same old path.
Even if she had to cry, she couldn't cry now.
Even if she had to lose face, she couldn't lose it in such a setting.
Zhou Shaojin raised her voice slightly and called out, "Is anyone still outside?"
The young maid who had answered earlier replied, "This servant is Zhuyu. I'm waiting right outside the door!"
Zhou Shaojin said, "Please quietly call Nanny Shang, who came into the estate with me. I have something urgent to discuss with her."
When a woman visits someone else's home, unexpected things might happen—like her monthly cycle arriving suddenly and staining her clothes... The young maid didn't suspect anything and hurried off to fetch Nanny Shang.
Nanny Shang was sharp-witted to begin with, and at the privy entrance, she slipped the young maid a few copper coins to send her away. Only then did she call softly, "Second Young Miss," and say, "There's no one outside now!"
Zhou Shaojin finally emerged from the cubicle.
Nanny Shang was startled to see her slightly swollen eyes.
Without mincing words, Zhou Shaojin said, "Quickly think of a way to prevent others from noticing I've been crying."Nanny Shang repeatedly agreed. Thinking it was fortunate that this was an official restroom with cold water, she soaked a handkerchief for Zhou Shaojin to apply to her eyes, then went to call Chunwan over. The two quietly helped her wash her face again and comb her hair. With a light application of makeup, aside from slightly red eyes, it was no longer apparent she had been crying.
Zhou Shaojin’s mind was blank, allowing them to apply things to her face all along. Only when Nanny Shang softly reminded her that she was done did she take a deep breath, sit on the bench along the covered walkway outside the restroom, and carefully ponder Old Madam Guo’s words while gazing at the lush boxwood trees.
What the old madam said actually made a lot of sense.
It was not groundless, nor was it meant to belittle or discourage her.
If she truly married into the Cheng family, how to face Cheng Jiashan would be a difficult problem. With the slightest carelessness, Cheng Jiashan might think that Uncle Chi had taken her from him... After all, Uncle Chi had been very good to her before. If there was nothing between her and Uncle Chi, people wouldn’t think in that direction, but once she married Uncle Chi, even things that never happened could be described vividly—let alone things that truly did!
Zhou Shaojin twisted the handkerchief in her hands.
But what if she just listened to Old Madam Guo and gave up?
She thought of Cheng Chi’s gentle smile, warm embrace, and the tenderness on his face when he softly coaxed her... Her heart ached unbearably, and she abruptly stood up.
No, no, no!
She could not give up on Uncle Chi.
In this world, no one in her heart could compare to Uncle Chi.
She wanted to be with him.
Even if she would be criticized, troubled, or insulted in the future, she still wanted to be with Uncle Chi.
Zhou Shaojin anxiously took a few steps forward, then stopped.
But what if... Uncle Chi regretted it?
Sometimes imagination is one thing, but facing reality is another.
She was utterly useless—neither able to help Uncle Chi achieve anything nor assist him in socializing with relatives. Over time, what if Uncle Chi regretted it?
Zhou Shaojin faintly sensed that she might not be able to go on living!
Not because of Uncle Chi’s change of heart, but because she herself would find life devoid of meaning.
She thought of the lonely, long, and numb days at the estate in Daxing in her past life.
If she could endure such days, with the beautiful memories of Uncle Chi, why couldn’t she endure now?
As this thought flashed through her mind, a “boom” echoed in her head like a thunderclap.
Long ago, when she yearned but could not obtain, she had thought this way.
Just a strand of his tenderness, just a moment of his glance back... How could she forget her original resolve after obtaining it?
Human desires truly know no bounds!
Zhou Shaojin slowly sat back down on the bench.
Her heart gradually grew clear and calm.
Just as Old Madam Guo had said, for her sake, Uncle Chi had even encouraged Madam Yuan to break away from the clan.
There are no walls without cracks.
If this matter were discovered by Madam Yuan, how could Uncle Chi ever hold his head high again!
But if Uncle Chi were scorned and criticized by everyone, and she cowardly gave up, leaving him alone to face the world’s condemnation... like a betrayal... wouldn’t that hurt Uncle Chi even more than the scorn and criticism of others?
Hadn’t she experienced such a thing in her past life?When Madam Yuan was berating her, when the servants in Nine Prosperities Lane were pointing fingers at her... she hated Cheng Xu... at that time there was only overwhelming hatred... but now thinking back, perhaps it was more resentment toward him for abandoning her to face it alone...
Uncle Chi treated her so well, he was someone she cherished so deeply that even holding him in her heart felt insufficient—how could she hurt him out of fear? How could she stand by and watch him be condemned just because she feared being scorned by the world?
Zhou Shaojin smoothed the handkerchief in her hand and adjusted the hair at her temples. Then she stood up and smiled at Nanny Shang and Chunwan, who were standing not far away, watching her with concern. "Let's go to the flower hall. We shouldn't keep them waiting for me!"
The two exchanged a quick glance.
Just moments ago, the second young lady had seemed as withered as a flower on the verge of fading—how had she suddenly become radiant, proud yet restrained like a general returning from victory?
They were deeply puzzled.
But Zhou Shaojin could no longer dwell on such matters.
She strode briskly into the flower hall.
The theatrical performance was at a critical moment.
Yet her arrival still drew everyone's attention.
Zhou Chujin smiled warmly, gesturing for her younger sister to sit beside her.
Old Madam Guo, however, was slightly taken aback.
Zhou Shaojin's eyes were still somewhat red; if one paid attention, it was not hard to tell she had been crying. Yet her demeanor was serene and composed, carrying a calm confidence and determination, even appearing more resolute than before.
Like a beautiful but ordinary painting of a noble lady, suddenly given life by a master painter's final touch—suddenly imbued with a soul.
Old Madam Guo felt a chill in her heart.
Fang Xuan had already frowned with displeasure.
Zhou Shaojin remained unperturbed. Smiling gently, she walked to Zhou Chujin's side, whispered a few words to her, and then rose to approach Old Madam Guo.
Old Madam Guo smiled faintly, but her gaze was exceptionally sharp.
Zhou Shaojin's heart pounded wildly, and her limbs felt weak.
But she knew that if she were to truly marry Cheng Chi—no, if her feelings for Cheng Chi were discovered—she would face gazes ten, a hundred, even a thousand times sharper than Old Madam Guo's... She could not retreat.
And she absolutely must not retreat.
If she retreated, she and Uncle Chi would be finished!
Zhou Shaojin's hands, hidden in her sleeves, were tightly clenched into fists, yet her smile remained gentle and serene.
"Old Madam," she stopped before the daybed, allowing Fang Xuan to scrutinize her with confusion, "I have something I wish to discuss with you alone..."
Had she made a decision so quickly?
Old Madam Guo was inwardly surprised.
Would she choose to leave Si Lang or continue to stay with him?
Old Madam Guo did not realize her own breathing had grown heavy.
She smiled and stood up with Fang Xuan's support.
Everyone turned to look.
The two performers, unaware of what was happening, also paused in confusion.
Old Madam Guo said with a smile, "It's nothing, it's nothing. Please continue singing. Shaojin has something to say to me."
Under the watchful eyes of everyone, Zhou Shaojin became the center of attention.
This made her deeply uncomfortable.
But she maintained her smile.
Old Madam Guo gazed at her intently for a few moments before turning and leaving the flower hall.
Fang Xuan hurriedly followed.
But Old Madam Guo smiled and said, "Go enjoy the opera. If I need anything, I'll call for a maid."
Fang Xuan uttered an "oh," unable to resist glancing at Zhou Shaojin before departing.Zhou Shaojin supported Old Madam Guo as she had done before, as if nothing had happened, and the two of them walked unhurriedly toward the large locust tree in the courtyard.
Old Madam Guo remained silent.
Zhou Shaojin chose to speak first.
She said, "Madam, I have carefully considered what you said earlier. You are right..." She had indeed fallen for Uncle Chi! Zhou Shaojin's face flushed slightly. Such words, she could not bring herself to say in front of Old Madam Guo. "But I still want to try!"
"Try!" Old Madam Guo stopped in her tracks, her gaze sharpening as she looked at her. "Such childish talk! Can a murdered person come back to life? Can someone scorned by the world stand tall again? Try! Do you know what the consequences of trying might be..."
"I know!" Zhou Shaojin said softly. "But I still want to try—this matter is not Uncle Chi's fault alone," she lowered her eyelids. "If I had refused Uncle Chi, how could he have reached this point? Since I am also at fault, I should stand with Uncle Chi... No matter what difficulties we face in the future, I want to face them with Uncle Chi..."
As she spoke, she knelt before Old Madam Guo and said earnestly, "Madam, I beg you to grant me this wish!"
※
Dear readers, an extra update for Xiaoxixi!
PS: I have to travel for work today, but I’ll be back in the evening. I haven’t been satisfied with the updates lately, both in terms of quantity and quality, let alone all of you. After careful thought, I’ve decided to post two updates today. However, today’s updates might be very late, and corrections will also be delayed. Please check back tomorrow morning!
O(∩_∩)O~
※ (To be continued ~^~)
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